The screen then opens up with O'Malley and the turret.
O'Malley: Yeeees, this place is coming along nicely. Excellent work repairing the turrets, Lopez.
Lopez: Gracias. Me encanta el trabajo manual. [Thank you. I find manual labor stimulating.]
Doc: I still say a flowerbox would have been a bit more neighborly.
O'Malley: Oh shut up you fool!
Doc: Hey, we should start a neighborhood association. It's just like a government, but run by housewives and old people. So it's a lot more efficient at controlling your lives.
O'Malley: Get out of my head!
Doc: Technically it's my head. But I don't mind sharing. Don't you remember that talk we had about sharing?
O'Malley: Shut up!
Cut to a strange red soldier running toward ...something.
Red Zealot: At last! My pilgrimage is over! I have reached the promised land!
O'Malley: (running to the ledge, through the fan) Who is that. Oh no. Not this buffoon! How did he get here?
Lopez: Él estaba cerca de la bomba cuando explotó. [He probably was blown nearby by the bomb.]
O'Malley: Hellooooo. What do you want?
Red Zealot: The disembodied voice of God! (kneels) I hear you Holy One! I have made it to the temple and await your command!
O'Malley: Up here- Helloooo. Red Moron. Eyes up, chop-chop!
Red Zealot: Oh. Greetings! Are you the gatekeeper of the temple?
Doc: Us? No, we just moved in. Can you help us move a couch? And do you know any good restaurants nearby?
O'Malley: Just a second. (To Doc) Listen you fool, let me handle this.
Doc: I don't know, you haven't been the best choice when it comes to making friends. Maybe I should try.
O'Malley: Nonsense! With the proper handling, this fellow will make an excellent stooge. And I'm the one here with the most experience training Stooges. Isn't that right, Lopez...
Lopez: Nyuk, nyuk.
O'Malley: You see!?!
Doc: Okay, you can handle this, but I get to hang my motivational posters in the living room. Hang in there kitty!
O'Malley: Fine. But I'm telling you that cat will never make it to Friday. (To courtyard) Yes, I am the guardian of the temple. What do you want?
Red Zealot: I have travelled great distances, in search of enlightenment!
O'Malley: Reaaally, that's perfect. We have tons of that in here, but listen. We just can't let anyone in who wants to get in, so goodbye.
Red Zealot: Wait! I will do anything. Just tell me what I need to do to gain entrance.
Doc: Psst, ask him what he knows about gardening.
Lopez: Pregúntale si podemos tener sus hombros. [Ask him if we can have his shoulders.]
Doc: Maybe he knows how to use that computer we found.
The gate opens, in a very bizarre, unnecessarily cinematic graphical sequence.
O'Malley: Alright then come on in. We'll think of something, (evil laughter) (more evil laughter) (even more evil laughter) (still more evil laughter)
Lopez: Hazlo más despacio. Lo vas a arruinar. [Tone it down. You're going to blow it.]
O'Malley: (yet again, more evil laughter)
Lopez: OK, ahora eso es demasiado. [OK, now that's just too much.]
In the distance, someone hides behind a pillar.
O'Malley: What was that? (turning away slowly) Hmm... (turning back quickly) Aha! Heh? (turning away) Hmm, a-ha! ...Minding my own business, slowly walking away and HAA, I got you! (turns around). ...Oh forget it.
Meanwhile with Red Team and SMG4 gang
Grif and Simmons were walking by the convenient skull
Sarge: Grif, Simmons, where've you two been?
Simmons: Our patrol didn't go exactly as planned, Sarge.
Sarge: Did you find something? Wait a minute, where's the jeep?
Grif: Yeeaah, it's like this.
Sarge: Grif... I just built that jeep, I don't want to hear that it's been destroyed.
Grif: Oh, well then maybe I should stop talking. Or you can stop listening.
Sarge: Grif!
Simmons: Nonono it's not destroyed Sarge, the engine just quit.
Sarge: And what exactly were you doing when the engine died?
Grif: Duh, getting the jeep outta the ditch.
Sarge: What was the jeep doing in a ditch?
Grif: Well I can tell you what it wasn't doing, and that's re-enacting the coolest scene from The Dukes of Hazzard ever.
SMG4: Come on I just quit doing the auditions here today for the movie.
Sarge: Rrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Grif: Simmons was driving.
Simmons: No I wasn't, I was holding the arrows and the dynamite!
Luigi: What again?
Cut to Red Team and SMG4 gang looking at the jeep.
Sarge: Wait a second, this thing isn't busted, it's outta gas.
Axol: Well, you know the problem.
Grif: It runs on gas?
Sarge: Of course not moron, where are we gonna get gasoline? I modified the fuel cells to utilize a form of cold fission, powered by solar energy.
Tari: That was kinda smart when you think about it.
Simmons: So then why is it dead, sir?
Sarge: You would have had to park it in the shade for at least two hours. What were you doing parked in the shade for two hours?
Grif: Well I can tell you what we weren't doing...
Sarge: Ah, forget it. Come on, help me push this thing in the sunlight. One, two, three!
Sarge and Simmons push the jeep, Grif faces the other way and doesn't help at all.
Simmons: Hurrrr...
Sarge: Hurrrrniaaa.
Grif: Hurr. Man this thing weighs a ton. Holy crap. Wowzers.
Simmons: Dumbass.
Grif: Oh right. Wait, where's Alex when we need him-
Alex: Hey guys.
Red Team: Aah!
Simmons: Wait, Alex is that you?
Alex: Yep. This is my actual armor before it got lost.
Sarge: Well I'll be the son of a Gny. Sgt. Hartman. Also, do you mind helping us with the jeep?
Alex: Why? All you need is-
Simmons: It runs on solar power that he modified.
Alex: Oh. Okay then, I'll help.
Simmons: Wait what? There's no way you can-
Then he lifts Jeep up and moves it to the sun and drops it down to the ground.
Alex: Jobs done.
Then they were shocked or surprise to see him do it.
Sarge: By gods. Well, at least he helps us with the jeep.
Simmons: (Shock still) T-The jeep's getting power!
Saiko: What?
Alex: Well, I did some workouts then I had some strength enhancement but my second one is still processing to finish.
The jeep gets power, just like Simmons predicted, and that same stupid song starts playing.
SMG4: Goddammit.
Sarge: Turn that crap off.
Then the music stops as there were the radio sounds are heard.
Tex: (over the radio) Come in, does anyone hear me? Over.
Meggy: Wait, we know that voice...
Sarge: What the, who's that?
Tex: (over the radio) This is Freelancer Tex, looking for anyone from the Blood Gulch Outposts, do you read. Over.
Grif: It's that mean chick from the Blue Team.
Simmons: Hang up on her.
Sarge: Good idea.
Alex: No wait. Listen.
Tex: (over the radio) I have found O'Malley's base. I repeat, I have found O'Malley's base.
Sarge: O'Malley? Son of a-
Axol: I guess he got caught along with us. Wait, if he went travel with then where's the other si-
SMG4, Mario, Saiko, Bob, Rob: Don't mention them.
Simmons: Where is she?
Alex: Hold on, she'll tell us.
Tex: (over the radio) They seem to be holed up in some kind of a fortress. I'm not sure how I got here or how they built it, but if you can read this, I need you to get to me as fast as you can.
Grif and Simmons talk over her transmission.
Grif: Maybe we could use the radio to triangulate her position.
Simmons: How? We only have one radio. We would need a third point to triangulate.
Grif: Okay, well let's just pick a point between her and us.
Simmons: What? That's not a triangle you idiot, that's a line!
Belle: Ugh.
Grif: Right, a line that we'll follow straight to Tex! It's the perfect mathematical plan!
Simmons: Hey Grif, why don't you just stick to criticizing other people's ideas, instead of coming up with your own.
Grif: It does seem to be my talent.
Sarge: I could simulate a third radio by using some of this sand, and the heat from the jeep's tailpipe to make an enormous refractory lens. And then-
Alex: JUST SHUT UP! Ahem. Just wait dammit. She'll tell us.
Tex: (over the radio) My coordinates are two two niner delta, by one point three seven gamma.
Then they talk while others listen to it.
Simmons: Uh yeah, we could do that too. ...What's wrong Sarge?
Sarge: (sigh) Nothing.
Simmons: You really wanted to make the lens, didn't you.
Sarge: You're damn right!
Simmons: Well we can make it later, when we have more time.
Sarge: Awwww, don't patronize me.
Tex: (over the radio) I need you guys to come right away. Or better yet, send someone who can fight, like Co- I mean Alex or Codo. Actually, send him... on one else.
Axol: Eh?
To Be Continued