song for the chapter: stay - sugarland
i stared up at the ceiling as i tried to stop thinking about michael. way easier said than done. all i can think about is michael kissing that other girl. she was thin with blonde hair and bright blue eyes. she was basically a carbon copy of crystal. and both of them rival my brown hair and dark eyes. i guess michael has a type. and that type isn't me.
"stop sulking and get up."
veronica said as she came into my sight.
"what's the point of getting up? i'd rather just lay here and die."
i said as i shifted my body away from her.
"see, what we're not going to do is sulk over michael. he doesn't deserve it. and you deserve someone better than him."
"but i don't want anyone but him. but he broke my trust. and my heart."
i sniffled as the tears gathered in my eyes again.
"okay, no crying. get up."
veronica said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me up off of my bed.
"you need to talk to michael first. no crying when you're on the phone with him. you need to be strong."
"what do i even say to him?"
"ask him why the fuck he would do something like this! yell at him! he deserves it."
veronica said. i don't want to yell at michael. i want this to all go away. i want him to hug me and make everything feel alright again. i just want to feel alright again. veronica handed me my phone and i sighed as i took it from her and called michael.
"alex! i was just about to call you."
michael said as he appeared on my screen.
"yeah."
"alex, i'm so sorry you saw that. i never wanted you to see that."
"what does that even mean? you wanted to hide that you've been making out with other girls behind my back?"
i yelled at the phone. okay, maybe yelling is a bit therapeutic.
"no! she was a fan!"
"and that's suppose to make it better?!"
"alex, she kissed me.
"well you didn't look like you were pulling away."
"alex, i would never do that to you."
michael said. tears gathered in my eyes as i looked from my phone up to veronica. she didn't seem convinced.
"how am i suppose to trust you?"
"please alex. please believe me. i would never do that to you or our baby. you're the only person i want to be with."
michael said. i just can't believe him. all trust is gone between us. i can't trust a word coming out of his mouth. and he's going to be gone for the next three months and i can't even talk to him face to face about this.
"i'm gonna go stay with veronica for a little bit."
"alex-"
michael's voice was cut off by the ending sound of the call. and then by me throwing my phone against the wall.
"how did i get myself into this?"
i asked veronica as the tears gathered in my eyes.
"it'll be okay. i promise."
veronica said as she hugged me. we went into my room and packed a small bag before getting in veronica's car and heading to her apartment. i don't know when or if i'm going to be talking to michael anytime soon. i can't forgive him. i can't trust him.