song for the chapter: fix you - coldplay
"you suck at taking pictures."
i said as michael handed me my phone and i started flipping through the many pictures he just took for me. as a part of my job, i have to take a lot of pictures for brands to post on my instagram. i'm really grateful for my job and the opportunities it gives me, but sometimes it seems impossible to get the best photo that is also approved by the brand. and usually i have veronica take them, but since she's busy and i have a deadline coming up, i asked michael to help me. and he's not the best at doing it.
"didn't you ask me for help."
michael asked me as he looked over my shoulder at the photos.
"oh, hush."
i said. i swiped through the photos until i found three good ones to send off to the brand.
"you look good in all of them."
michael said as he wrapped his arms around my waist. for only being friends, he's always been really touchy with me. but it's only escalated since we found out that i'm pregnant. he's constantly holding me close and trying to be around me. it's not like i mind though.
"you think?"
i asked as i felt michael rest his chin on my shoulder.
"yeah. you always look good."
michael said as i felt my cheeks get hot.
"thanks."
i said as turned my head to look at him.
"of course. now, can we finally go inside?"
michael said.
"yeah, let's go."
i said. we walked back inside and i went to my computer to start editing my photos. michael plopped down next to me on the couch and started watching a movie.
"you know, we have to tell our parents about the baby sooner or later."
michael said.
"i know. i just don't know what the best way to go about it is. it's not like we can fly to australia to tell them."
"we're just going to have to tell them over the phone."
michael said as i sighed.
"i just don't know how they're going to react. i'm honestly surprised they haven't seen it online yet."
"you know how my mum and dad are. they can barley work a phone."
michael said as i laughed.
"should we call them right now?"
"we could. but we aren't doing my parents first."
i said as michael rolled his eyes and smiled.
"you're still scared of your parents at 22?"
"yes. now dial your mum's number."
i said as i handed michael's his phone. he took his phone from me and dialed up his mum's number. my heart started to race as i heard the dial tone and then heard michael's mum, karen, pick up.
"hello?"
karen asked as she picked up.
"hey, mum. it's alex and i."
michael said as i felt my heart thump out of my chest.
"hey! how are you two doing?"
"we're good. we have something to tell you."
"okay, what's wrong?"
karen asked suspiciously. she was always suspicious when both michael and i had news. i mean, she has every right to be.
"so, um, alex and i are having a baby."
michael said. karen went silent for a few seconds before we heard a scream from the other end.
"oh my gosh! i'm gonna be a grandmum!"
karen exclaimed, causing a huge smile to grow on both of our faces.
"so you aren't mad?"
"mad?! of course not! maybe a little surprised but i'm so excited! oh, i am going to come visit you guys soon!"
karen said as both michael and i laughed.
"okay, well i'll talk to you later, mum."
"talk to you both later."
karen said before michael hung up. michael handed me the phone and i just felt my stomach ball up with anxiety.
"i can't. i can't tell them."
i said.
"there's nothing to be scared of."
"of course there is! you know how religious my family is. you know how my mother always told me that she'd kick me out if i got pregnant out of wedlock."
"well she can't kick you out if you don't live there anymore."
michael joked as i wiped the tears from my eyes.
"but they'll disown me. i can't lose my family. they're going to hate me."
i cried.
"listen, this baby and i are your family now. we aren't leaving you. i promise. i'll always be here if your family leaves you."
michael said as he pulled me closer to him.
"you promise?"
"i promise. now, let's tell them. i'll be right here the whole time."
michael said. i grabbed my phone and dialed my mum's number as i felt my heart pounding. this is probably one of the scariest things i've ever had to do. my parents have told me my whole life that they would kick me out and never talk to me if i got pregnant out of wedlock. what are they gonna think?
besides the fact of their religion, they've also never been huge fans of michael. they've never been fans of any of the boys. they also preferred if i hung out with my friends in track. probably because they weren't a bunch of guys who play music in their garage after school and weren't really doing well in school. and you can imagine how they reacted when i said i was moving to la with michael.
"hello?"
i heard my mum's voice say.
"h-hey mum. it's alex and michael."
i sniffled, my heart continuing to race and the knot in my stomach tightening.
"hey alex. how are you?"
my mum asked, completely ignoring michael, as per usual.
"i'm good. listen, we have something to tell you."
"okay..."
"um...michael and i are going to have a baby."
i blurted out. the line went silent before my mum finally spoke up.
"are you guys getting married?"
my mum asked.
"no mum. we are going to raise our child just as friends."
i said, looking at michael for some sort of help.
"didn't we raise you better, alexandria?! your father and i always told you that you needed to be married to a nice guy before you had children. now you're throwing your life away, and for what?! having a child with a man who is going to leave you before it's even born."
my mum yelled through the phone. i knew it would've ended like this.
"m-mum, i'm so sorry."
"sorry doesn't cut it alexandria. as far as i'm concerned, you've made the biggest mistake of your life. and it all started when you moved in with michael. i told you repeatedly how those boys were bad news and you never listened. and now you're stuck in this position. never call me, your father, or any of your siblings ever again. as far as i'm concerned, you're not even part of our family anymore."
my mum said. before i could answer, she hung up the phone. i looked at michael before i threw my phone down on the couch. i knew she was going to react like this but...it still hurts really badly. and i don't wanna show how actually hurt i am to michael. i don't want him to feel like he had any part in this. this was my fault.
"are you okay?"
michael asked me.
"yeah. i'm gonna go get a shower."
i said as i stood up off the couch. i'm not okay. and i'd love to break down and cry right now but...i can't let michael feel guilty.
"alex, it's okay to not be alright. that was heavy."
michael said.
"michael, i'm fine. i promise. don't worry about it."
i said with a slight smile before walking down the hall. i don't know if things can ever be "alright" again. i don't have a family. i don't have anywhere to call home when i go back to australia with michael. i don't have a mum or dad or siblings anymore. things won't be alright for a while. but i can't let him see that. i can't let him feel guilty.