"Can you just tell me where we're going?" I ask looking over at Dean who has the hints a smile on his face.
"That would ruin the surprise."
I haven't seen him in person in a few days, actually not since the day before the charity gala his family had. However, I did see quite a few pictures of him in the tabloids. His scene with Maddox and Cassidy made it into a few magazines I saw at the checkout station while shopping for groceries.
Dean hadn't mentioned it so I certainly wasn't going to push it, but I was curious to hear what actually happened.
I shake my head adamantly at him, "I don't like surprises. I would however like to know where we're going. You basically kidnapped me from work saying 'Get in, we're going for an adventure.'"
"I do not sound like that," Dean scoffs leaning back in his seat. "I'll tell you where we're going when you tell me what's on your bucket list."
I give him an exasperated look, "You're seriously still on that? Why do you care so much?"
"Why are you so intent to keep it a secret?"
I cross my arms and look out my window to avoid answering his question. I don't want to tell him because the odds of me checking everything off are slim and I have no intention of getting my hopes up.
All I'd really planned on doing tonight was grabbing food and watching movie on the couch. Pretty lame for a Friday night, but it's what I had thought I'd be doing. Not going on an adventure with Dean to who knows where. Today, I was getting Grayson a coffee and my hands went numb causing me to drop it in the break room. It was embarrassing and I was mortified.
"Lacey?" Dean prods again trying to get me to look at him.
"That's my name, don't overuse it." I tease trying to keep the mood light. I'm exhausted, but I'm more curious to find out where we're going.
"You're truly something else."
I raise an eyebrow at him, "So you'll tell me where we're going then?"
"Nope," He says smiling.
I glance up at the cab driver who is smiling while making a turn, "Any chance you could tell me where we're going?"
He lets out a short laugh, "Not a chance Miss. I'd hate to be the one to ruin it."
Dean sticks his tongue out at me in response and I'm definitely starting to second guess this whole friendship thing if he's going to act like a toddler. Not even a toddler, just I don't even know.
"Fine," I pout looking out my window.
With all the traffic, it takes us another ten minutes to get there and I'm cringing at the thought of what the cab fare was. It's safe to say that I was confused as to why we're here in the first place.
"What are we doing here?" I ask Dean, pulling my jacket closer around me.
He smiles widely and offers me his arm, "C'mon. We're going to miss it if we don't hurry."
"Miss what? I'm pretty sure the Empire State Building doesn't go anywhere." I chuckle, looping my arm with his. Dean honestly seems the most excited I've seen him and I like this version of him.
And I completely understand why he's excited once we reach the observation deck. Most people have left with a few stragglers sticking around for what we're here to see.
The sky is a beautiful orange as the night sky looms over. You can see everything from up here. The city lights are spectacular, but it feels like everything is possible up here. A breeze tousles my hair into a flurry around my face and I brush it away quickly so I don't miss a second. "Wow."
"I know. I like to come up here to think. This is my favorite time to come because it makes everything else seem so insignificant. All the problems just go away when I'm up here."
I look over at him, "I can see why." Dean's eyes never stray from the skyline, focusing on something that will never repeat the exact same way again.
It's a marvelous thing. It's a certain thing that the sun is always going to rise and set every single day. There's not very many guarantees in life, but that's one of them. Everything seems so simple. It's not.
We stand there for what feels like forever before one of us says something again. "Everything has been complicated lately. I feel like I'm supposed to be everywhere and that I'm always letting someone down. So I try to keep it where no one expects anything from me because then they can't be disappointed. I don't let a lot of people close to me because I always let them down."
"Keeping people at an arm's length must be pretty lonely." I say, knowing that I'm doing the exact same thing to Dean. It's the same thing I do to everyone except Ruth because she's shoved her way in. It's how I know it's lonely, yet I also know it's for the best.
"I didn't think it was, but then I see how happy Cass and Maddox are together. Sephine and Hayes. I don't think I'm going to find what they have. I think it's why I keep going back to Paige," He admits with a shaky breath and I can see the fear in his face as he looks at me.
"You're not meant to find what they have, you're meant to find what works for you."
Dean shakes his head, "I don't know. I keep screwing everything up. I got mad at Cassidy for telling me the truth. I was acting like a child. I'm not angry they're together, I just wish I saw her more. That's what I should have told her instead of snapping at her."
I shiver feeling the breeze sink into my bones, "That's the beauty of hindsight. You learn what you should have done."
He wraps an arm over my shoulder, pulling me into him. "Lacey Edwards, you are quite the enigma."
"It's intentional," I joke leaning into him. It feels nice to be held by him.
"That doesn't surprise me at all. Not one bit."
I rest my head on his chest, watching the sun dip behind a building on it's descent. "Thanks for bringing me up here, it kind of reminds me of home."
Dean squeezes a bit tighter for a moment, "Do you miss home?"
"Not like I thought I would. I miss Ruth and my parents. I couldn't bring my dog with me so I miss her a lot. But I needed a change, a chance to experience things more than Bristol could." I say smiling at the thought of home. "It's like everything there moves in slow motion."
"Well everything here moves extremely fast, it's a nice break being up here." He says motioning with his other hand to the lack of people and the open sky.
I get entirely what he means. People aren't joking when they call New York City the city that never sleeps.
*********
"Why don't we watch a funny one?" I say loudly to Dean who is in the living room. I'm in my room pulling a sweatshirt on over my head. I'm thankful for the job I have with Grayson, but man I hate the clothing attire.
"What?" He says and I roll my eyes, grabbing the pill organizer off of the top of my dresser.
"Just pick whatever you want!" I yell back trying to find the water bottle I keep in here. Shouldn't be hard to find considering sixty percent of my things are still in boxes and the room is the size of a shoebox.
I finally spot the water bottle on my bedside table and quickly take the pills before Dean comes looking for me. I'm running low on one of my prescriptions but I don't want to go to the doctor and have them ask why I've skipped my last two appointments.
I shouldn't skip and I know I'm going to catch hell about it next time I see my parents, but for now? Everything's fine.
By the time I get back out to the living room, Dean's already found his spot on the couch and opening credits are playing. "What are we watching?" I ask sitting next to him and Dean gives me a cheeky smile.
"You'll find out."
I give him a skeptical look because I have no idea what he would have picked out. My guess is he probably picked a scary movie. Turns out I was right, but he did surprise me by choosing an original instead of a remake.
The first thirty minutes, I feel restless sitting next to him. I don't know why. I'm comfortable around him so I have no valid reason to be unable to sit still for longer than ninety seconds.
Eventually Dean pauses the movie, "Lace, what's going on?"
"I don't know." Which is the truth.
He shakes his head, "I hate to point this out, but I don't think you've sat still for longer than a minute."
"I can't get comfortable. I promise I'm paying attention, I just don't know how I want to sit."
"Is there something on your mind?" Dean asks carefully bracing an arm behind his head. I force myself to look away from how he's unintentionally flexing his arm.
I tuck my front pieces of hair behind my ears, "Everything's fine."
He raises an eyebrow at me, "Really? Do you have ants in your pants then?"
"I don't have ants in my pants Dean." I snort, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Then what is it?"
I hesitate and Dean notices, the expression on his face softening. "You listen to me whine about my life all the time, if you need to talk about something I'll listen."
Where do I even begin?
My mouth opens getting ready to say what I actually want to ask, but I chicken out at the last second. "Why are you so curious about my bucket list?"
I can tell the question takes him by surprise. I can only imagine his reaction to the question I really wanted to ask. This one is a safer topic.
"Because I want to help you complete it. Bucket lists are meant to be finished and I can't stop thinking about why you don't want to finish yours. I know it's probably stupid, but the whole reason I took you to the Empire State Building tonight was because I hoped it was on your list." He admits this with a blush dusting across his cheeks, but his blue eyes are clear. "New York is meant to be experienced and you spend quite a bit of time at the office with Grayson. I assumed you hadn't been there yet."
My stomach flutters at the thought he put behind it because it shows he cares. I almost wish it were on my bucket list, just so I could see Dean smile.
"Skydiving."
"What?"
I smile faintly, glancing back at the television, "The Empire State Building wasn't on my bucket list, but skydiving is."
"You're not afraid of much are you?" He says smiling and I shake my head.
"Nope."
Just death. I'm extremely afraid of dying.