E L I J A H
"You complain about the cold but you want to fucking take a walk at eleven in the night? When we should be sleeping our way into oblivion?" Arius muttered, making air quotes when he said cold.
"Yeah, it'll be Christmas in an hour, I want to stay awake." Elijah said rubbing his hands together as he grinned.
"You do realise that it's not really Christmas right? Winter solstice-"
"Shut up Johnson, you're such a killjoy. Of course I know it isn't actually Christmas, but you cannot deny that it's the best time of year." Elijah said, as they stepped out of the dorms after looking around carefully.
"My best time of the year is adding up all the nights I've slept and forgotten about everything, so it's pretty complicated." Arius grinned as he stuffed his hands into his pocket.
His hair was curlier than usual and hung in his face, making him look innocent and the cold had tinted his cheeks a light pink and Elijah was trying his best not to fix his gaze on his stupid face.
Elijah laughed at Arius's response as they walked on but stopped all of a sudden. Well, when he thought about what Arius said in jest, it was pretty dark. It sounded like a coping mechanism and given the fact that Elijah was there for that one panic attack, he wasn't going to be surprised if it was deeper than just a running joke.
"Morbid, morbid. I don't know how we even hang out, we're so different man." Elijah said, as they walked on in the biting cold, the trees topped with glistening white, the ground beneath them.
"Tell me about it." Arius replied.
Elijah missed home. This didn't feel like Christmas at all, his mum's cookies and cakes weren't present, Abby and her experimental drinks weren't present. It was the first time he was spending Christmas away from home and it was so fucking saddening. But on the bright side, Arius was there to give him some company.
He had bought Mr.Bruce and Arius gifts from the town over the previous day when Arius had been napping.
They made their way across the snow covered grass as their boots thumped and padded, displacing little white flakes from the ground.
Bianca and Mason were heading out of their unique dorm when Elijah and Arius passed by.
"Hi Elijah! What brings you out of your rooms this cold night?" Bianca smiled, nodding her head at Arius.
"Could ask you the same!" Elijah smiled back.
"Just walking around with Mason here, I'm sure you know him. He's on the basketball team." Bianca said, a hint of pride in her voice.
"Yeah we know each other. Hey, if you don't mind, can we just walk around in the tower? I've always wanted to see what it looks like." Elijah said after he had acknowledged Mason.
"Oh yeah, no one's around except a few of them. Steer clear from 405 though, you do not want to go in there." Bianca said, her voice taking on a warning tone.
"Cool, got it!" Elijah smiled.
"Alright, see ya!" Bianca said, as she pulled Mason along with her.
If he hadn't caught her with Maggie, he would've been convinced that they were a thing.
"I'm surprised she agreed to that. What do you do to people Kingston? Bewitch them?" Arius asked in amazement.
"It's called being nice and friendly, you should try it sometime." Elijah teased as he walled toward the large doors.
"Shut the fuck up." Arius scoffed.
"That's not going to get you anywhere Arius, be nice." Elijah said, faking a stern tone.
"I really want to see the top of the tower more than anything." Arius put in.
"The roof it is!" Elijah agreed readily because he was so fucking on board with anything Arius wanted to do.
The inside was unexpectedly warm, and very much like their own dorm since it was circularly fashioned. There was a common area in the center of each floor, complete with a fireplace, a large plasma screen and couches to sit on. All the doors were shut and looked like most of them had gone back home for Christmas. If he was a senior, he'd definitely get his friends to stay back so they could celebrate their last Christmas all together in one place.
"This is awesome, I can't wait to go to senior year." Elijah said, absorbing his surroundings in awe.
They made their way up the spiral staircase until they reached a wooden door that looked quite old and worn with all the carvings and drawings on it. Elijah gripped the handle and pushed it open.
Before they could step out, the cold air rushed in, enveloping them both in the slightly misty, heavy air.
Elijah walked out and waited for Arius to follow before shutting the door behind them.
It was so unusually quiet up here.
They could see a few bottles of beer and a deck of cards lying in the distance.
Elijah looked at Arius only to find his face tilted toward the sky with a look of wonder and appreciation on his face.
Well, Elijah couldn't really blame him because as he followed Arius's stare, his eyes were exposed to one of the most beautiful night skies he would ever see in his life. This would be a night to remember.
Thousands and thousands of stars were scattered across the black sky, even more so than when he lived in the city where there was pollution and dust. But up here from the tower, there were no buildings in sight for miles and miles ahead of them in every direction and they couldn't see anything too far away from them. It was like they were the only ones alive.
The sky was a vast expanse, seemingly endless and covering them from everywhere.
"This is crazy, I can spot so many constellations. If this is the view from here every night, I have to sneak in here somehow." Arius breathed.
"Are you one of those astrology nerds?" Elijah teased.
"Astronomy you fucking moron! And yes, I am." Arius said, not even sounding like his usual rude self as he continued to scan the sky.
Elijah walked over to the edge of the tower and climbed over it carefully, sitting down on the thick wall and letting his legs dangle as he looked into the distance, just breathing in the fresh, cold air.
"Get the fuck off that, you're going to kill yourself!" Arius's voice pierced through his blank state of mind as he jumped a little in shock.
Arius had arrived next to him and was tugging his jacket.
"Dude, calm down I'm not going to fall. Come sit with me, the wall is thick enough to have leverage." Elijah said calmly
They were silent for a few minutes before Elijah turned to look at Arius again.
"I'm serious, come on. It'll be nice." Elijah urged, holding out his hand for the other boy to take.
Arius looked at Elijah with narrowed eyes before sighing and slipping his freezing hand into Elijah's outstretched palm as he hoisted himself up on the wall.
And God, did Elijah grip the other boy's hand like his life depended on it. Who knew when he'd have such an opportunity again?
Their hands were more or less the same size, Elijah's a tiny bit smaller than Arius's. As Arius made himself comfortable, Elijah quickly let go of Arius's hand, his own palm suddenly feeling cold even though Arius's hand had been even worse.
It felt empty. It felt like it belonged with Arius's hand enclosed within his own.
Just, he had to feel that again before he died.
Woah brain, shut the fuck up.
"When's the next basketball season starting?" Arius asked, still looking up and startling Elijah from his thoughts.
"January, I think? I'm really not sure but practice begins mid January." Elijah replied.
"Who's your catch in the NBA?" Wow, it was his lucky day, Arius was being extra chatty with him today.
"I'd have to say Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Kobe." Elijah answered quickly.
"No one from the current scene? I'd say Luka Doncic is mad talented. Anthony Davis too. I'd pegged you as more of a LeBron kinda guy." Arius said, a small smile breaking out on his face.
They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, close enough for Elijah to visually trace Arius's perfect jawline and he was swept away by how angular and sharp it was.
He was also pretty shocked at Arius's knowledge in the Basketball field.
"LeBron is amazing, but he's not one of my favourites. You really do watch basketball, damn!" Elijah muttered.
"Yeah, I do. Soccer, football, tennis and basketball, love these sports." Arius said chuckling a little bit.
"You don't have to tell me, but did you play sports before you know, you lost your arm. You look like you used to." Elijah said gingerly, waiting with bated breath for Arius to push him off the edge out of anger.
It never came though.
Instead, the other boy's face grew increasingly stoic and serious, draining it of any expression not leaving Elijah any hints as to how he was to react to whatever he was about to hear.
"I used to play soccer, still can but I haven't really touched a ball after the accident. I was the striker on the team but I could play all the positions." Arius said softly, Elijah wouldn't even have heard him if he wasn't hanging on every word the boy let out of his mouth.
"That's crazy, I can play all the positions in basketball too, really well." Elijah blurted out, hoping to ease the other boy into conversation.
"Getting too cocky now are we?" Arius grinned at Elijah, raising his eyebrows.
"You just did it too!" Elijah said, appalled at his reaction.
"Calm it. You're so fucking dramatic Elijah." Arius said, shaking his head.
Elijah noticed how his name rolled off of Arius's tongue with ease and a slight lilt, making him wish Arius called him by his name all the damn time. He pronounced his words very clearly as a result of which it would sound like he had a British accent at first.
"How did you deal with, you know? After all that happened when you came out of the hospital?" Elijah asked.
"I really don't deal with anything per se, I'm just going one day at a time. So it works. My girlfriend abandoned me in front of everyone else, but she used to come home during the nights to apologize, so I broke it off with her. My parents are fine but they get too protective, for good reason, but I don't like being smothered. Viggo's the one person who's been my lifeline though, I don't know what I'd do without him." Arius said, all at once.
"Don't you dare tell Viggo I said that, or I'll kill you." He added as Elijah laughed at him.
"I won't, I won't! What happened to your arm though?"
"That's a story for another time Kingston, back off." Arius said, smiling bitterly.
"Alright, I get it!" Elijah patted Arius's shoulder.
"Your girlfriend is a real bitch man. I have nothing to say, that is so fucked up." Elijah muttered, against his better judgement.
"Yeah she is." Arius chuckled darkly.
They sat, unmoving and still in each other's company as they immersed themselves in the surroundings around them. An owl would hoot occasionally, crickets would chirp and the trees would sway gently.
"Are you seeing anyone from your old school?" Elijah asked, trying not to sound too eager.
"I cut off all contact with those fuckers."
"Oh, oh. What about here, has anyone caught your eyes yet?" Elijah asked, cringing at himself.
What the fuck was he doing?
"I haven't stopped to think about all of that, relationships are so fucked up, my ex left me because I lost an arm, it was when I needed her the most. I don't want that kind of baggage, I have too much to deal with." Arius said slowly.
Elijah's heart sank a little.
Yeah, like he had a chance anyway.
"Megan is so into you, it's so fucking annoying." Elijah said as he laughed.
"She's not, she just wants me to fuck her into her mattress." Arius said as he shivered slightly.
"Arius? What the fuck?" Elijah burst out laughing as he clasped his hands together.
"Her words, not mine."
"No but I've seen the way she looks at you, and it's just, she really likes you." Elijah muttered.
"Yeah, no. She doesn't know anything about me, even if she does like me, it's because she thinks I'm hot, which I am." Arius smirked.
"You are so full of yourself. Your head is going to have moons revolving around it soon." Elijah shook his head as he smiled.
"Even if she does like me, that's bullshit. I don't like her." Arius said, seriously this time.
"Well, you can't really blame her." Elijah had taken his chances and was now in a life or death situation. Arius wasn't homophobic, so that was fine.
Hopefully.
"What's that?" Arius was now fully turned toward Elijah, looking at him with a confused expression. They were way too close for Elijah's comfort and it really wasn't doing his brain any good.
"I said, you can't really blame her." This time, Elijah held his head high and looked directly into Arius's eyes. It was the first time he had dared to do it and he fell all over again, like on the day of the assembly, but even harder.
Arius's eyes were trained on him. His pupils were dilated because of how little light was around high up here, but it was enough to see the light shades of grey piercing through his own eyes and trying to decipher what he had meant.
"Yeah I know what you said genius, what do you mean?" Arius asked. He knew, he knew what Elijah meant, but was asking him for confirmation.
Elijah was suddenly dumbstruck, he didn't know what the fuck to say, nothing. He opened his mouth and tried to say something, anything.
Elijah was an eloquent person, but what was happening now, hadn't ever happened to him before. It was such a fuck-all situation.
"Elijah? What the fuck is going on?" Arius said, leaning closer to him and shaking him out of his stupor and slight panic.
"I-I I'm I don't know but your eyes are so fucking pretty and I'm -fuck- I'm completely blowing this, I don't know why, or how- God I'm so stupid. I don't mean like pretty pretty, but they just look nice, nice shade of grey and-" Elijah said, stuttering his way all through his incoherent sentence before he stopped and took a deep breath.
"Fuck it."
"Fuck what? No no, you're going to tell me." Arius said sternly, although Elijah was sure he heard uncertainty in his voice, like he'd rather not know what Elijah was saying.
"I don't know what to say, but uh don't kill me for this. I'm so sorry." Elijah said, taking a deep breath.
Suddenly, he couldn't feel the cold, nothing. All he could see and feel was the messy haired boy sitting pressed up against his shoulder and looking at him in confusion. He tilted his face and leaned into Arius's body studying the other boy's face in the dark.
Then slowly, tantalizingly, he moved his face forward and pressed his lips to Arius's own in a gentle, feathery kiss, shutting his eyes. Arius's lips were warm and so pillowy soft, way better than Elijah had imagined. His lips tasted sweet, so effortlessly sweet. Arius wasn't pushing him away and Elijah didn't know what to do now, but he soaked in the feeling of Arius's lips against his own, molded together and his arm resting on Arius's shoulder.
It felt like he was on the fastest, highest rollercoaster and was currently in the drop zone. His stomach was fluttering, feeling hollow, his heart beat ringing in his ears and steadily increasing.
He was going to fucking die.
After what seemed like forever but was only a few seconds, Elijah pulled back and rested his forehead against Arius's shoulder for a moment before sitting up straight and moving away slightly.
They sat in silence and confusion, the tension between them reaching dizzying heights for the first time after they had agreed to being friends.
Elijah did not know what the future held for their friendship, but he felt like a huge weight was lifted off his chest. Although, as reality slowly sank back in, all he wanted was to remain friends with Arius.
- X X X -
A R I U S
"Okay out of all the things that I was expecting to happen, that was the last fucking thing." Arius breathed out, looking off into the distance.
Elijah had fucking gone and kissed him, what was he supposed to do now? He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel anything.
But he did, Arius felt intoxicated by the way Elijah had been so gentle and scared, and the way he gripped his shoulder as he pressed his lips against his slowly and kissed him. How his jacket smelled like honey and lemon. And how he rested his head against his shoulder for a second before pulling away completely. Arius could feel the purity of innocent feelings and nervousness penetrating his very being and invading his senses completely for those few seconds.
Or maybe, because he hadn't been romantically or sexually involved with anyone in eight moths his mind was making up this stuff and exagerrating his reactions.
Yeah that was it.
"God that was so fucking embarrassing. Please don't kill me." Elijah said.
Arius turned to look at him to find his cheeks flushed. Elijah was biting his lip furiously, and furrowing his brows.
"I can't say I'm not surprised, I am! But I'm not that unreasonable. I understand, it's cool." Arius shrugged, attempting to calm down so he could tell Elijah that it was alright. One kiss meant nothing, it didn't have to change their entire dynamic.
Elijah spun his head so fast Arius was sure it would've broken or at least cracked a little. He looked at Arius in amazement and wonder.
"You sure?"
"Positive." Arius smiled gently, letting Elijah know that it was alright.
Elijah let out a huge sigh before his stance relaxed and he fell backward, his head hanging over the edge.
"So, my eyes are pretty huh?" Arius smirked.
"Stop, this is the part where you return the compliment." Elijah laughed.
"I'm not fucking doing that, never."
"Don't, don't even remind me again about whatever I said before I kissed you." Elijah cringed.
"Is that why you find Megan annoying?" Arius asked in a teasing tone.
"Shut the fuck up man, I'm still trying to process whatever happened." Elijah mumbled, laughing breathily.
Arius was surprised at the fact that Elijah came clean so early, and he had actually kissed him. That was taking "brave" to another level, it was crazy and brash and impulsive.
The reason Arius wasn't as shocked as he should've been was because somewhere in the back of his conscience, he'd caught how Elijah looked at him sometimes, when he thought he wasn't looking. The constant blushing and stuttering when they got too close or the half assed answers when Arius would unknowingly say something flirty.
It was kind of cute, so fucking cute.
But this was all it would be, he wasn't ready for a relationship or even committing to someone. He was still in his healing process and he wouldn't let anything interrupt it. It was just absurd.
"How long?" Arius asked.
Elijah sat up straight immediately, looking alarmed.
"No fucking way, I'm not telling you that." He said.
Arius smirked at him and let out a laugh as Elijah's expression just became more frantic with every passing second.
"Do you want to go back? It's getting colder and I really want to sleep." He said, deciding that it was time to change the topic of conversation.
"Yes, please." Elijah muttered, standing up and dusting off his pants.
Elijah shut the door after Arius and they made their way down stairs and toward the door of the tower, exiting it and walking to their own dorm. They walked back in silence, neither of them saying a word.
Arius was lost in thought, about the kiss. He tended to overthink a lot and this was something that his brain was doing mental gymnastics over.
Should he back off from Elijah so he could get over him? Should he continue staying friends? How long had Elijah wanted to do this? What the fuck was happening? Where was Viggo?
"Hey uh, do you want to watch a movie? No thrillers, I promise. A Christmas movie, Edward Scissorhands?" Elijah asked almost shyly, not meeting his gaze as he swung his door open and flicked on the lamp.
"Sure, I love that movie."
He shut the door behind him and looked on as Elijah turned on Ryder's tv and scrolled through Netflix.
"Shit I think I left the key in the socket." Elijah slapped his forehead and brushed past Arius, and pushed the door open, taking the key out and putting it into his pocket.
Arius didn't know why he did it or what caused him to do it. As Elijah made an attempt to walk past him, he grabbed his elbow and stopped him.
"Hey Elijah."
Elijah looked at him with a questioning look on his face.
"Can I kiss you?" he blurted out, instantly regretting it. He could swear he saw Elijah's eyes light up with happiness before confusion clouded his gaze.
"Are you trol-"
"No you fucking idiot, I want to." Arius said, feeling suddenly impatient.
"I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't want you to kiss me back now, would I?" Elijah replied snarkily, drawing closer to him.
Arius took a step closer to Elijah and noticed how Elijah's breath quickened, becoming slightly laboured. He noticed how they were both the exact same height.
He gripped Elijah's jacket and leaned in, pressing his lips to Elijah's pretty, pink lips and kissing him softly. Elijah took a moment to respond as his shaking hands found Arius's jaw, reminding of the one night he had a panic attack in the corridor.
His hands were warm, unlike Arius's and his right hand cupped his cheek while the left wound it's way to the back of his neck.
Arius bit Elijah's bottom lip and tugged slightly, making the other boy gasp and shiver, gripping Arius's neck harder. Arius's own hands pulled the other boy impossibly close as he licked Elijah's bottom lip and kissed him again.
He didn't know how long they kissed but they had to break eventually for air. Arius broke apart and moved his head slightly backward, Elijah following his lips before he realised what he was doing. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Arius rested his forehead against Elijah's, as his his hands travelled around Elijah's waist, holding him secure and firm, flush against his body.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Elijah whispered, stroking Arius's arm as he melted into the embrace.
"Merry Christmas, you fucking sap." Arius chuckled as his hand moved up to Elijah's face and separated their faces, as he ran his thumb against Elijah's cheekbone.
This was so weirdly intimate, he hadn't done this with any of the boys he'd hooked up with. Only Tamara, who was his first serious relationship.
Yet, it felt so right.
He kissed Elijah because he had to know, he had to know whether what he felt was real or not. And surely enough, it was real, so fucking real.
Elijah was so nervous even when it was Arius who had initiated the kiss. So tender and gentle, but his grip hard, strong and sure of what he wanted at the same time. It was so fucking scary, but worth it.
Elijah was one hell of a kisser if he had to say anything about it.
Arius wanted to keep kissing him, and to hold him, to be held by him but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Although he was breaking his very own rules right now, standing in the middle of the room, and wanting to kiss him senseless again.
Not only did he think Elijah was super-model-level hot, now he was attracted to him. Just what he needed, on top of all the bullshit and trauma he was facing.
"This is so fucking weird, what are we doing?" Elijah mumbled, as they broke apart from their embrace and looked at each other.
"I really don't know, can we watch the movie?" Arius said, feeling the need for some normalcy in between them.
"Fantastic idea." Elijah breathed in relief as he sat on the beanbag and Arius took his place under Elijah's covers.
They watched the movie and talked for a while, before it was 3 am when they finally went to bed, Elijah turning off the lamp and sleeping in Ryder's bed and that's when the intensity of what Arius had gotten himself into hit him like a train wreck.
What the fuck had he done?
_________________________________________
A/N
They kissed! *excited noises and frantic waving around of the arms*
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Much Love XD. Thank You for reading!