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I was laying down outside near the meadow, the sun just beginning to rise, leaving my face to feel warm.
There was no better comfort than to be outside with nature.
I closed my eyes and smiled. The one thing that was for certain that I yearned for comfort of some sort, any sort.
Perhaps nature was the closest I'd ever come to a true mother, always there during my time of need, unlike my aunt or anyone else.
"Ophelia, what in god's name are you doing?" I heard Caterina call out from behind me. She ran down from the house, still in her white nightgown.
I pushed myself off the ground. My hands sticky from the grass.
"Oh, I was just admiring the sun rise," I turned back to look at the swirls of red, yellow, and pink that canvased the sky. "Is it not mighty beautiful?"
She paused.
"Why don't you come back inside there's no need for-"
"No sit down with me, please."
Caterina was the only person in the family that currently didn't entirely ignore my presence, and the only one that wasn't foolish enough to surround herself with thoughts of marriage.
I needed someone like Caterina right now.
A cloud of awkwardness hovered between the two of us for a second. Eventually, as all clouds do, it dispersed.
She stumbled closer to me, as I noticed she was wearing fur boots. Her hair was already in two neat braids, accompanied by lose curls in front of her eyes.
She looked a lot like her mother today.
Caterina sat down heavily, her lips formed a frown. Her eyes were dull though, almost more grey than green. She was suffering inside, I could tell. And instead of getting consoled she was only invisible.
I think she needed me as much as I needed her.
I admired our scenery, wondering if she thought it was beautiful as well.
How couldn't she?
We were blessed to live near a field of beautiful wildflowers that had just started their bloom. Nothing but a field of purple and yellow, it felt magical.
"You know, mother and father are quite mad at you." She said, her gaze never leaving the sky.
"As is everyone," I paused, looking into her eyes. "Are you?"
She shook her head. "There's no real reason to be. If he enjoys you, that is his choice. It may not be the most favorable among most but," she faintly smiled at me. "you must have made a great impression."
I smiled.
I wish I knew what she really wanted. If she was like me, or like Lilia, or none of the above. Ever since I've met her, she always had dreams of being a famous pianist. Traveling across the sea to America, becoming a household name. Caterina Brookings. But she stopped talking about it as soon as she was kept home from school.
"He's kind, funny. But I'm not even sure if I feel anything towards him." I began.
"How couldn't you? If he asks to marry you-"
"What, marriage? Caterina that would never happen, I for one wouldn't allow it and neither would he. We're friends." I said, shocked. I was scared my tone was too harsh and that it would cause her to leave.
"The way Lilia described you two didn't sound as if you are just friends."
"Well Lilia can be wrong sometimes, I can assure you that he will likely forget me and we will never speak again."
He barely knew me, I barely knew him. Our meeting again wasn't likely, even though that disappointed me, it was probably for the best. If one dance cause this much hostility, I can't imagine what a friendship between the two of us would do.
It would be best if I pretended it never happened.
"We should probably go, you have to get to the schoolhouse." Caterina quickly stood up, brushing off her dress.
It was getting late, but I wasn't in a rush.
"I wish I could just skip today, avoid everyone. Especially that evil Arabella." I rolled my eyes.
"I'd rather like all the attention on me," she said sheepishly.
We both started to walk towards the house, arm and arm.
"That's because you are you, I am me." I laughed lightly. "No one likes me already and they're sure to hate me even more when I return."
"I'm sorry," she stopped walking and turned to look me in the eyes. Her face softened and appeared as if she was sad. "You don't deserve any of the hatred shown against you, from me or anyone." She swallowed.
I took her hands in mine, "Don't worry about it, I am more than used to it by now. But I do appreciate you telling me that."
I paused. "It isn't as if I'm the most likable person on the planet myself, we all have our issues. My temper being one of mine."
She laughed and smiled, a single tear falling from her eye.
We linked arms and began walking to the house again. I enjoyed this moment between us and I hope that many more are to come.
***
School was quite unusual today, it was almost if I had a large, red target on my head. In every direction someone had their eyes attached to me, maybe I was being paranoid but it certainly seemed that way.
"Is it true, the rumors?" Arabella asked during lunch, the whole group which she belonged followed her all hungry for an answer.
"What rumors?" I laughed innocently.
"Oh don't be dumb now," Ada protested, crossing her arms.
To stop all the annoying questions and fuss, I decided to tell them, of course in the most dramatical fashion.
They hung onto my every last word, as if it were the most exciting thing they had ever heard in their lives.
They're mouths agape and eyes wide.
"He kissed you? How is that possible?" Ada exclaimed.
"Isn't that how babies are made? Ophelia, are you going to become a mother?" Maisie said in disbelief.
She looked genuinely concerned.
"It was only on the hand. Besides that, that's not even how- you know what, never mind."
Arabella rolled her eyes, huffing quietly.
"He had to have been drunk, no one in their right mind would have ever danced with someone so scrappy," Lilia blurted out, ruining the mood at hand.
My smile dropped, and the fun I was previously having messing with the girls faded away.
"That is a possibility." Arabella nodded.
I believe that Lilia was looking for a certain reaction from me but I would not give her the satisfaction.
"So will you marry him?" Maisie asked sweetly, with innocent eyes and a small smile.
"Most definitely not." I said, taken aback.
Is that really what everyone thought. One dance and I was already set to marry him? Even just the thought filled me with abhorrence.
I had never fit in with all the girls in school, they were far to preoccupied with the idea of becoming a wife. I passed no judgment but it was very odd to me that was their only aspiration.
To marry.
To me, marriage just seemed like a trap and I was not fond of being pinned down.
"It was just a dance. Now if you'd excuse me I have to get back to work."
I didn't want anyone thinking that I was going to marry some rich boy who I barely knew.
***
News spread rather fast of my experience with Tewksbury. Many would give glares or looks of disbelief. It was the worst when we had to travel into town to buy materials for the family,
Aunt Brookings said I was asking for the attention. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that. I kept my head down while we were walking, I didn't talk a word. I wasn't sure what the big deal was. Or why I kept getting in trouble for things that were out of my hands.
When we arrived home, Caterina grabbed my hand and swung me around, laughing. When she finally calmed down I had the chance to ask her what was the matter.
"What is happening!" I said, quite concerned.
"Here, you got a letter." She handed me a small white envelope with lovely gold trimming, it was signed 'Tewksbury'.
I let a small smile escape from my mouth and then I realized what I had told everyone about never talking to him again. "I'm not going to open it," I said, handing the letter back.
A look of disappointment and shock crept across her face. "Why not?"
I shrugged. "I need not."
"While I'll open it then," she ripped the envelope open rather harsh. She seemed more excited for its arrival than I was myself.
She started to skim the letter, her smile growing even wider which I didn't believe was humanly possible.
I have to admit I was eager to see what he said.
"He wants you to come to his estate!" She squealed, jumping up and down like a small child.
"What?" I said shocked, ripping the letter from out of her hands.
I fell into the sofa in shock, reading the letters every word.
"I can't go see him again! That's quite a ways away and-"
"You'll have someone accompany you. Don't worry about it. This is exciting!" She tried to convince me.
"What about school? And all of my chores,"
I went on.
"I'll cover for you until you return. Please go, you'll have a great time." Caterina begged.
I thought about it for a moment, pursing my lips. Maybe it wouldn't be awful, and time away from the Brookings would be quite relaxing.
"Oh I suppose, but I can't promise I'll enjoy it." I mumbled harshly, rolling my eyes.
This was very true, I couldn't make that promise. It was all a lot to travel to see Tewksbury again.
I may have gotten myself into more than I can handle.
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