"𝙱𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜."
𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚘 𝙺𝚊𝚝𝚑
C A T A L I N A
"Jino, you've got about as much emotion as a rock." I stand beside him and try to mimic his stance. If I had to stand all day doing nothing, i'd go crazy.
I'd have to be put in a mental institution because i'd completely lose it. Coo-coo style.
"You've got any plans today?"
He gives me the side eye, making me snap my head away. Sheesh, that's one nasty glare.
"Can I go outside? I promise I won't run away." Lie. I'm a liar, a great one at that. Jino doesn't deserve to be lied to his face but I don't think he cared enough anyway. The fact slightly settled my consuming guilt.
"Are you in love with me? Is that why you're ignoring me?" I've read books where the love interest usually ignores and runs away from their crush because of their fear of love or something. Maybe that's what Jino was feeling.
"I'm just kidding, sorry." I give him a soft smile before walking away. I know he doesn't want me around him since he's working, but I wish I had somebody to talk to. I sound like a crazy lady with the way that constantly I talk to myself.
I just wish somebody would listen.
Or if somebody made me feel like my words were important.
I always feel like i'm living in the background of everyone's lives, just an extra character to fill up some space.
It hurts to watch your life fly by you, like everything is passing by and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't hit pause and you can't rewind and you can't fast forward, the only thing to do is just let it happen.
I would say i've lost everything, but i've got nothing to lose anymore.
Not even myself.
"Popo! Hi!" I immediately run down the clear set of stairs when he comes into view, ignoring the fact I slipped, and run up to him.
"Sweets, so good to see you," he warmly smiles. My heart does a million and one backflips in my chest at the nickname he used for me. "Pack a bag, we're going somewhere."
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As we cruise into the driveway of a castle-like mansion, I notice how far out from the city we are.
My heart begins to pick up in my chest at the feeling of being somewhere new. I was scared of what was going to happen to me. I can feel the fear in my chest fighting to take control of my body. I understand that my body wants to protect me, though, there weren't any threats present. At least not yet.
Although Paolo and Marco were kind, I had to be cautious of their kindness. Nobody just gives that to me. The moment I allow myself to get comfortable with their sweet gentleness, they'll take it away from me. I know better.
Once the black gates opened, behind it sat a marvelous house; it was built completely from stone. There were bushes trimmed to perfection with pastel colored flowers surrounding the area. I can't wait to smell those. In the center of the driveway, there was a fountain gushing with water, taking my attention away from the house and onto the perfectly falling streams.
My eyes widened at the sight of such an
elegant home.
"Where are we?" I questioned as I got out of the car.
Quickly, I opened Paolo's door and tried to hide my shaking hands.
"The family home, welcome."
Once we checked in with more than a few guards, we finally made our way inside the grandiose mansion.
A sudden voice startled me, "Paolo, welcome back home sir." A middle aged man wearing a three piece suit stood in front of us.
"Elijah, show Catalina her room, she'll be staying here. Lorenzo's orders."
Paolo must have noticed my fear stricken face since he shared one of his signature warm smiles and moved himself closer to me, letting me know he wasn't leaving.
After what felt like an entire marathon, we finally made our way to a tall, dark door. "Your room, miss, i'll be in the main hall downstairs if you need anything."
"Thank you so much!" I smiled.
Immediately, I turned around to face Paolo, a multitude of questions ready to escape my mouth.
"I'm sure you have lots of questions but how about you get settled first and then we talk, okay?"
"Can you come inside the room with me, please?"
Paolo didn't hesitate before opening the door, his hand gesturing the guards at the steps to bring my bags in.
When we walked inside, I felt my eyes water at the sight of such a pretty room. It's so cute.
The room screamed old money. It's four post canopy bed had sheer white curtains draping on the sides, acting like a dress. Just like Lorenzo's pent house, there were gold accents everywhere, along with a touch of antique looking decor.
At the sight of paintings of nature decorating the off-white cream walls, my lips parted in awe.
I was so grateful to be able to stay somewhere so nice but the fact that I didn't want to stay here only made my guilt sink deep into my stomach.
I'm given food, clothes, a roof over my head and yet I can't seem to brush away the fact of how badly I wanted to go back home.
How ungrateful.
"You like it, sweet?" Paolo moved my bags to the edge of the room, next to another dark door that I presumed to be the bathroom.
Gulping, I nodded and tried my best to plaster the biggest smile on my face. "I love it so much, it's so pretty."
"Why am I staying here?" I quickly added.
A look of guilt flashed his eyes, his entire expression softening. "Lorenzo thinks it would be better if you stayed here, surrounded by more people, y'know?"
I bit my lip, wanting to tell him that being with more people that I didn't know only made my nerves jump. However, I remained silent. He didn't need the extra pressure of having to deal with me.
Anyway, I was going to be okay. I had to be, I didn't have a choice.
"Oh! that's thoughtful of him. Is he coming here today?"
"He might. Enzo does what he wants so I can't give you an accurate answer."
After Paolo assured me that he would visit me everyday, he left me to unpack. I didn't know how long I was going to stay here and I didn't want to make the room mine, so I left everything in my bags.
Hours had went by and I still hadn't met anyone, I was left alone.
It was like I wasn't even here.
I was trapped behind these walls— confused and lost.
It was easy to accept, though, I could do what i've always done: hide.
No one ever hears me.
My silent screams went unheard, as if my voice had been taken away from me. And in a way, it was.
This wasn't my choice and I was trapped by my fear.
God, I'm just so pathetic.
A knock on my door made me freeze and quickly wipe under my eyes, patting my face to hide any signs that I had been crying.
Excitedly, I went towards the door and opened it, my lips parting in awe at the sight of Lorenzo standing behind the door.
This is his home and yet he still knocked. How kind of him.
I'm swooning.
A black button up was hugging his ripped, lean figure. The first two buttons were undone, revealing his intricate tattoos.
The fact that I was gnawing on my bottom lip stopped me from commenting on his perfectly messy, tousled hair. Gosh. No words would ever do this man justice.
"Enzo, hi!" Please let me come back to your house with you.
His brows noticeably furrowed—only slightly— followed by the clench of his jaw. "You're crying," he stated.
"I'm not."
He shook his head, stepping inside as his dark eyes scanned my unpacked bags. "What were you doing all this time?"
"Daydreaming about you," I blurted.
"Spent your time wisely, I see."
A laugh went past my lips from not having expected him to joke around. This was completely unlike him, I liked it.
"I came here to introduce you to everyone," his voice went back to cold.
"Enzo, can I- can I go back home?"
He came closer towards me, his face bent down so he could look down at me.
He's so tall I want to climb him.
"You don't have a home."
A lump attached itself to my throat, lodged there completely. His response hit me straight in the gut, making me take a deep breath to calm myself down.
I closed my eyes shut, an attempt to rid them of the burning, and then spoke, "I do, and it most certainly isn't here."
His thick finger picked a piece of my hair up and he continued to twirl the strand around. My face scrunched up at his action as I stepped back.
"Catalina, you're a burden. Need I remind you that the only reason you're here is because you are of use to me?" His thumb pulled my bottom lip out of the grasp I had it in, "A pawn in a game of chess."
Lorenzo's harsh words were a slap to the face. I forcefully squeezed my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms so that I indented bloody crescents.
I always did say I loved the moon.
His face was stone cold, not a hint of emotion flowing in the field of emerald green.
I wanted to cry.
However, I wouldn't show him how he made me feel, how weak I truly was.
"You're horrible. You're so mean, so evil. Don't you have better things to do with your time than speak to me so condescendingly?" I made a mental note to fist bump myself later for keeping my voice strong.
The sudden rush of guilt came burning at my heart, making me want to grab my words from the air and put them in my pockets.
My empty pockets. I'm a broke gal. Only because Mr Gangster is holding me captive.
Breathing in deeply, Lorenzo tauntingly moved closer towards me. My heart sank down to my stomach, creating a pit that made a wave of nausea wash over.
Much to my surprise, he gently grabbed my jaw in his hand and pushed me backwards; an incoherent sound came out of me, causing my face cheeks to burn scarlet.
"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" Lorenzo's voice was laced with so much authority, so much anger that it made bad butterflies float around in my stomach.
"You, duh," I spat back.
His grip on my jaw began to tighten, making my nostrils flare.
Raggedly breathing, I pushed myself away. Just as I was about to bring my hand up to slap him across the face for touching me so rudely, his hand caught mine mid air.
He tsked.
Fear coursed through my body. I bet this is where he hits me now. Maybe he's going to punt me across the room like a football.
My eyes watched his every move as his hand moved towards the waistband of his pants, pulling out a nine millimeter.
Firmly, he pressed the end between the space of my eyebrows, his head cocking to the side in the process.
I wonder if my unibrow has grown back.
"You're pathetic," he seethed.
My body was quickly pushed into a wall, making my breath hitch. I was itching everywhere and I knew that a panic attack would soon rise if I didn't take control of my breathing.
Teasingly dragging his gun into the dip of my neck and the hallow of my collar bones, I watched his eyes, completely transfixed. By what? I didn't know.
Lorenzo's eyes held nothing but darkness, the softness that I once saw in him days ago now long gone and replaced by something new. Something evil.
As if he had caught himself, he brought the gun back to my forehead, this time pressing my head farther into the wall. A migraine took over. I winced.
Tears clouded my vision, threatening to spill over my red rimmed waterline. "Do it," I dared, "You'll be doing me a favor."
I don't want to be here anymore. Please.
Pressing his body closer, I watched Lorenzo's finger make circular motions over the trigger; he was playing, acting like my life was a game.
It's a shame we weren't able to become friends, I was hoping to crack his rough exterior. This man is nothing but plain rude, however. He doesn't deserve my kindness.
Click.
I flinched, letting out a loud squeak.
It took me a moment to realize that he hadn't shot me, or anything for the matter.
The raccoon was playing me.
Bravely, I slowly opened my eyes, watching a mischievous grin widen on Lorenzo's face. "Now that would have been too easy, wouldn't it, darling?"
I hadn't realized that silent tears were streaming down my face, the overwhelming feeling of fear haunting my body. Pins and needles numbed my entire being, making me feel numb.
"Aw, is princess crying? Are you scared?" He mocked as his lips came into a pout. My eyes watched his hands come up to my face as he brushed my tears away with his thumbs.
"Chin up, wouldn't want your crown to fall, now would you?"
Though he sounded like he cared, like he was soft, I knew he didn't. His hot and cold actions, mocking tone, and words were degrading. Humiliating.
Roughly, I shoved his hands away from my face and did the worst thing i've ever done in my eighteen years of living: I spat on him.
∴.·:*¨ ¨*:·. ☙.·:*¨ ¨*:·.♡ .·:*¨ ¨*:·. ❧.·:*¨ ¨*:·.∴
A U T H O R P O V
Catalina: vote if you want me to bodyslam Lorenzo.
↳ ♡₊˚. I sincerely apologize for not updating at all last week, I recently had surgery (today) and life fucked me in the patootie.
Love you dearly,
Red </3