"What is your profession?"
"Again, we can skip the small talk," Emma said it with a smirk as Regina put down a tea pot. The woman playfully rolled her eyes as she retrieved two cups and set one down in front of Emma.
It was the second time they were meeting, and it hadn't been more than six days that had passed. This time, they'd decided to meet up in Regina's mansion.
Emma only knew the way to the bedroom and she was curious to see what else there was in the house. Regina hadn't shown her around, though, and she'd simply led her to the kitchen.
Regina sat down opposite Emma. "Okay, then. Whatever you want," she said and smiled. "I think we'll just continue where we left off, right?"
Emma nodded slowly, knowing what Regina was implying. For some strange reason, it felt easier to talk to Regina about things that made her feel vulnerable, instead of talking about casual every day things.
Although, she didn't really know how to respond to Regina's question, about the way she was in bed, because she knew the answer was silly.
"I just feel like.. Killian never got to realize how much I loved him. I- the last thought he had before he died, was probably his wife letting him down because he thought we were going out, but I cancelled. And, if I'd stuck to our original plan, I would've picked him up from the station and all of this would've been avoided."
Emma sighed softly and rubbed her temples. It was quite a rough topic for a Saturday morning. "It just feels like it's all my fault. He even called me, saying he'd wait, but apparently he'd started to drive home already. Maybe I'd said something that had pushed him into driving home sooner? I don't even remember, but it's all weighing on my shoulders and it hasn't gotten any less over the past months."
Regina didn't know what to say. She felt absolutely clueless as to how to respond to this situation. She knew there was very little she could say to make Emma realize that this all wasn't her fault.
"Eventually, my thoughts only got worse and I started sleeping with people to take my mind off things. But then I got angry with myself for pleasuring myself, when I should be punishing myself. When I started telling hook-ups that, they immediately got into the bdsm mode. Except you, and I really appreciated that."
Regina nodded slowly, with her eyebrows raised. "I've had my fair share of bdsm, so I know when someone's intrigued or not. But Emma.. I know this may not change anything for you, but you can't live your life on the "if only"."
Emma looked confused, so Regina continued. "If you keep thinking "if only I'd picked him up from the station", or "if only I'd told him to wait in the car", you're going to tear yourself apart. Because no matter how painful and horrible this is, it's not going to change what happened. You're only hurting yourself for no reason, because you couldn't have seen this coming."
Regina hoped her words would get through to Emma, and given the expression on Emma's face, it seemed as though the woman did contemplate what she'd said.
"He knew you love him, Emma. You were married for a long time and I'm certain he knew that you love him."
Emma hummed as she processed everything Regina was telling her. Somehow, everything Regina was saying did make sense. Many people had tried to convince her that it wasn't her fault, but no one had put it like this. She still felt horrible and she still hadn't forgiven herself, but she could try to be less strict to herself.
And she felt like Regina could help her with that.
~~~~
Emma loved her job. She loved that imagination was the number one priority when she was working, and she loved painting. She'd just sold several paintings and finished one, and now she was on her way home.
It was quite chilly outside and a layer of fog covered the streets, but the sun was shining and Emma felt genuinely happy.
Yesterday, she'd talked to Regina and it had been even more helpful than the first talk they'd had. She now truly believed talking helped, because she hadn't felt this good in quite some time.
She'd walked to the gallery today, so now she was walking back home. Hope was spending the entire day at Nicholas's and although Emma was curious to know how that relationship was going, she didn't want to push Hope into telling her things that she wasn't ready to tell yet.
Emma abruptly stopped walking when she noticed the blue lights flickering across the street. The foggy air made it harder for her to see, but she recognized ambulances and the sheriff's car.
Someone had had an accident.
Emma felt herself becoming sweaty and her hands started to tremble. Suddenly, the moment of Killian covered in blood played vividly in front of her eyes. She tried to calm herself by inhaling and exhaling loudly, but nothing seemed to work.
She started running. The cool air felt as though it was suffocating her, but she continued running. Her hair stuck to her head due to all the sweat, but she still kept running.
Within a few minutes, she'd arrived at the big, white mansion. She didn't know what she was doing here, but she did know she needed to have some company.
Her mood had changed drastically in the past ten minutes and she rang the doorbell long. Regina opened the door rather fast and looked worried when she saw the disheveled Emma.
"Emma, what are you..."
"Are you busy?" Emma interrupted and stepped forward.
"No, why? I thought.."
Emma interrupted her again, but this time because she slammed her lips against Regina's. Regina took a moment to comprehend what was happening, but quickly kissed back.
She closed the door and her tongue dived between Emma's lips, to battle the blonde's strong muscle. She pinned Emma against the closed door and her hands roamed over the woman's body.
Regina pulled away for a moment to look at Emma. She hadn't expected this kiss at all, and even though she didn't mind, she did worry about Emma. When Emma had left, the previous day, she seemed alright, but now she looked as though she'd just seen ghosts.
"What is.."
Again, Regina wasn't able to finish her sentence, because Emma pulled her into a fierce kiss. Regina moved her away from the door and led her upstairs.
She took off Emma's clothes and threw them somewhere in the room, not caring where they'd end up. Meanwhile, Emma was stripping her as well, and it wasn't long before Regina was grinding her hips roughly against Emma's.
Emma had her eyes closed. She felt all her haunting thoughts washing away as Regina moved on top of her. She didn't care what the consequences of this encounter would be, no matter how guilty and bad she'd feel afterwards, it was worth it in this moment.
When she felt herself reaching her climax, she pulled Regina's head down and kissed her aggressively, before she gestured Regina to stop moving. She still wouldn't allow herself to enjoy the feeling of an orgasm run through her. Not yet, at least.
Emma opened her eyes and looked at Regina. She gazed at the brunette for a moment before her eyes caught something else. Emma's eyes widened when she saw the painting that she recognized all too well.
She'd painted that painting. It was the one she'd sold to that man, Robin, who had bought it for his wife.
She squirmed underneath Regina's body and swallowed thickly. "You're married?" she questioned and Regina looked confused.
"What gave you that idea?"
"That painting," Emma replied and gestured at the painting behind Regina. The woman rolled off Emma and looked at the wall to see what Emma meant. "Where'd you get that?"
"I.. why do you want to know that?" Regina really didn't want to lie to Emma, but she also didn't want to confirm Emma's thoughts. Her marriage was none of Emma's concerns, but she really didn't want to be judged by the woman.
"I painted that," Emma said and looked aside at the brunette woman. "I painted that the day after we first slept together."
"You're a painter?" Regina's tone was confused and Emma hated that she was continuing this subject, while she ignored Emma's question.
It wasn't weird of her to ask if Regina was married, given the fact they were sleeping together. She didn't want to be someone's mistress and part of her hoped Robin had bought that for a friend.
"It says Swan, I thought your name was Jones. I love this painting, though." Regina's tone was blank and Emma didn't know whether the brunette was angry, happy, scared or sad.
"Killian's name was Jones. Are you married?" Emma started to get slightly more frustrated and her tone was stern.
"Yes, I am," Regina replied and finally made eye contact with Emma.
"Oh, my God," Emma whispered softly and closed her eyes as she gritted her teeth. "I can't believe you're cheating on your husband, with me."
"Don't worry, hon, it's not just you," Regina replied and sat up straight in bed. The comforter covered but her legs and Emma felt her eyes drifting off to Regina's chest, although she tried to hard to keep her eyes fixated on Regina's. "Do you want to continue or has this knowledge changed everything?"
Emma was surprised by Regina's lack of worry. The woman couldn't care less about her cheating on her husband. At least, so it seemed to Emma.
Now, she was lying if she said she didn't want to kiss Regina anymore. After just having tasted the sweet flavor of Regina's lips and tongue, it was hard to resist that. Especially now that she was sitting up in bed, showing her bare chest.
Emma loved those boobs.
"Like I said, Emma, my life is far from perfect. It's not your job to be concerned about my marriage. I understand if you feel uncomfortable being around me now, but if that's the case, just say it."
It was up to her, Emma knew that. She could either fuck Regina right here and now, and she'd always have someone to go to when she needed to talk or when she wanted sex. Or, she'd walk away from Regina, knowing that she did a good thing, because she wouldn't be someone's mistress. She wouldn't be the reason someone would cheat.
~~~~
Emma heard the door open and looked up from the stove. She was preparing dinner, and the kitchen was placed opposite the front door, which gave her a perfect view of the front door.
Hope carefully stepped inside and looked cautiously around. Emma rolled her eyes as she looked at her daughter. Hope had been entering the house like this, ever since she saw Regina sitting in her living room.
"She's not here, don't worry," Emma said and continued cooking the pasta.
"Well, you keep meeting with her, so I have to be careful what I say about her," Hope replied and dropped her bag on the floor before she tossed her jacket in a corner.
"Sweetie, I don't share anything about you with her, and she doesn't either," Emma tried to calm her daughter, but Hope just shrugged and walked to the kitchen counter.
She watched as her mother prepared dinner and eventually started cutting up some vegetables herself, to make a salad. Emma glanced at her daughter and kissed her temple.
"How was it at Nicholas's?" Emma asked.
"Great," Hope replied.
Emma smiled and they finished preparing dinner in silence. Although Emma didn't want to worry about her decision, she still couldn't take her mind off Regina. Maybe she'd made the wrong decision, but there was no changing it now and she knew deep down that she'd done what was best for her.
"Mom?" Emma looked up from her plate and smiled at her daughter. "Do you ever think of loving someone else? After dad?"
"I..." Emma looked somewhat dumbfounded at her daughter. Hope never talked like that and they'd often avoided the topic of Killian - no matter how unhealthy that was. "Uhm.. so far, no. I.. I mean I'm definitely not looking for love, but if sometime far in the future I meet someone that piques my interest, I don't think I wouldn't go for it. Why are you asking this?"
Hope shrugged and played with her fork. "I don't know. I guess I was just curious how you think about that, because I am far from ready to see you with someone else than dad. And.. and I don't mean that bad, because I do want you to be happy and I will support any relationship you have."
"That's sweet, honey. But for now, you don't have to worry about anything."
Hope smiled at her mother and nodded. "Okay, thank you. By the way, I got a B+ on that history paper. Given the fact I started the day before and it had to be fifteen pages, I think that's pretty good."
Emma chuckled softly and nodded. "Yes, it is. Congratulations, honey."
"Oh, and I wanted to invite Nicholas over for dinner tomorrow."
"Really?" Emma looked in surprise and ecstasy at her daughter, because she knew Hope liked to keep her relationship as private as possible. She'd love to properly meet him.
"Yes. Really," Hope said. Emma knew it was silly, but this felt like a step in their mother daughter relationship. The fact that Hope wanted to share something meant a lot to her and she valued this moment more than she let out.