POV: Lark
Even though this bed was much comfier than the one back at my studio, I couldn't manage to fall asleep. We had all called it a night a couple of hours ago, each of us retreating to our bedrooms to get some rest
.
I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and saw that it was almost one in the morning. Luckily tomorrow was Saturday and I could sleep in if I wanted to. Normally I hated doing that. I've always been an early riser. There's just something about waking up with the sun and getting to experience that brief calm and quiet as the world starts to rise again for a new day.
Staring at the ceiling I realized what the problem was. It was too quiet.
My studio wasn't as high up as the penthouse and the noise of the city helped lull me to sleep every night. This quiet was too quiet. It was loud almost. It reminded me of the basement that I was forced to sleep in when I was in Italy. There were many times when that quiet would wrap around me like a vise. Sealing me into my misery.
Standing up out of bed, I pulled on a pair of light blue cotton shorts, to accompany my white cropped sleep shirt. Even though the guys had all reassured me that I could think of this place as my home too, I still didn't feel that way quite yet. Walking around in your underwear wasn't something I was about to do just yet.
I cracked my door slowly, hoping that it wouldn't creak. Luckily it stayed silent and I slipped out of my room and softly padded down the hallway and to the stairs. The light pollution of the city spilled in through the giant windows in the living room and gave the room a beautiful gold and blue hue.
I realized that I hadn't gone outside onto their balcony yet and wanted to see what the city looked like from this high up. Heading over to the doors, I unlocked them and went outside. The wind quickly wrapped around me and made goosebumps rise on my body. A sweatshirt probably would have been smart to grab, but then again, this balcony excursion wasn't a part of my original plan.
The balcony was huge. I could see myself drinking tea and playing cards with Aidan out here. I approached the edge slowly and was amazed at the view. I had always wanted to live in this city. There were many times that I had talked with Colt about it all those years ago.
As if my thoughts had summoned him, I heard the door open and Colt stepped through.
F*ck.
He was shirtless and I was lucky that I could use the chilly night air to excuse my hardened nipples. Colt had always been handsome. Now he was devastating. The tattoos mixed with his large frame made him look dangerous in an inviting way.
I really needed to sort out these new feelings I was having for the guys.
Colt walked up next to me and gave me a long look before speaking. "I would ask what you are doing out here, but I have a feeling you couldn't sleep".
"You nailed it. I just wanted to grab a glass of water but then I realized I had never been out here. I wanted to see the view... I hope that's okay". I looked back down at the city as I spoke to him but I felt his fingers gently grab my jaw, bringing my gaze back to him.
"How many times do I have to tell you that this place is your home too and you can do what you like here", he murmured. "The only reason I came to check is that I have an alarm system that alerts my phone whenever one of the doors is opened past a certain time. I noticed your door was open too so I assumed you came out to get some air or something".
I leaned my head into his hold and shut my eyes. Breathing deeply, I smelled his fresh but dark and citrusy scent mixed with the cold air. "I know I know. I think it's just going to take a second for it to sink in for me", I told him gently. "I'm so used to doing things on my own and not having a place that I feel comfortable in".
I opened my eyes and immediately found his. He shifted his hand to my shoulder and brought me into his body in a tight embrace. Feeling his skin on my hands was equally relaxing and invigorating. I felt his lips move against the top of my head as he spoke. "I'm so proud of you. What you went through... f*ck Lark. It makes me see red. It makes me want to tear the world apart on your behalf. I wish I could have protected you from what happened. But I didn't. You protected yourself and I'm so grateful that you never lost that strength I always knew was inside you".
His words brought tears to my eyes. I squeezed my arms tighter around him. Trying to communicate with my body what I couldn't say with words. He held me tighter in return.
I didn't feel the cold as we stood like this. I only felt him.
"Why can't you sleep?", he asked me. I debated not telling him. I didn't want him to feel bad that the quiet of his home, made me feel anxious and suffocated. He and the rest of the guys asked me to trust them from now on, so that's what I did.
"The basement they kept me in was always so f*cking quiet," I began. "I think they did that on purpose so that I had nothing to distract me from reality. This place is really quiet at night. That mixed with the darkness of my bedroom reminds me of that stupid basement. Every time I start to fall asleep, I see that dirty mattress on that dirty floor and I feel so alone".
He didn't say anything for a while. Releasing me slightly so that he could look at me, he asked, "Would it help if you....weren't alone? I can play some ambient street noise on my phone if you want and my bed is more than big enough for two people. If you wanted you could stay with me tonight so you'd know you weren't alone".
The last time I slept in a bed with someone was months ago. It wasn't a good experience and many of my flashbacks bring me to that night. Thinking about Colt's offer I wondered if sleeping in the same bed as someone would turn those memories into nightmares.
But I also didn't normally like touch. Wrapped in Colt's arms I felt content and safe. Sleeping in his room was worth a shot if I wanted any sleep.
"Okay. I would really appreciate that", I smiled at him.
"Let's go inside then. I'm freezing but didn't want to say anything since you seemed to be okay out here," he laughed.
Hand in hand, we went back inside and up the stairs. Colt's room was huge and I wondered if all the rest of their rooms were this big. His room was all slate grey and night black and there were clear touches of minimalism in the way it was designed and decorated. It didn't feel like a bachelor pad though. It felt like a space only for Colt and he didn't want that cluttered with anything he didn't see as important.
Climbing into bed, Colt waited until I was under the covers before he turned the light off and made his way over. True to his word he turned on some ambient noise that helped to instantly soothe me. As he put his phone back on the small table, he was clearly doing his best to give me space. I loved that about him.
Closing the gap between us, I pulled on his arm until he met me in the middle of the bed. "You weren't kidding when you said this bed was big enough for two people. Honestly, I think you could fit five or six people comfortably", I teased him quietly.
"What can I say I like to sprawl. You aren't going to be mocking the size of this bed when you realize you can just scooch away if I throw my leg over you in the middle of the night". Turning over, I became the little spoon to his big spoon. I knew I wasn't going to have nightmares tonight. There wasn't any part of me that was scared right now.
"Goodnight Lark", Colt breathed quietly.
"Goodnight", I responded sleepily.
As I was falling asleep I felt a soft kiss on the back of my neck.