-Jared-
I had wanted to ask Electra who she had gotten a ride from. I just knew that it probably wouldn't be a good time, especially when I still had Tasha at my house.
I knew she would probably swing it back around at me, and I trusted her. I just hoped that it wasn't another hunter that was going to become a problem for us down the road.
That was another thing I'd wanted to talk to her about hunting.
I'd wanted to bring it up many times, but it never seemed like the right time. I didn't like the idea of her hunting; it was just as hard for me to accept that she went around killing people as it was for her to accept that I was more than just a human.
I knew she hadn't been on a hunt in a while, unless she'd done it while at the headquarters of the people she worked for. I appreciated that. If it were up to me, I'd ask her to completely stop, but it wasn't up to me. I knew that she couldn't stop hunting anymore than I could stop being a werewolf. Neither of us was born this way, but we were how we were and we needed to live with that.
Electra, Alex and I had watched a movie together. I was glad that Alex and Electra were getting along so well, despite the humiliation my sister caused. I wasn't particularly thrilled about Electra teaching my sister how to fight though.
I knew Alex needed to know how to protect herself. She should have learned long ago. I should have told her what I was from the beginning. I should have helped her understand and prepare. I knew what types of things were out there and I'd just thought keeping her in the dark would keep her safe.
It had been a foolish hope, and I should have been glad that someone was helping her. A human someone. I felt like the transition for Alex may be easier with another human to help her. I was just worried that Alex would want to take it past self-defense. I didn't want her getting any deeper into this world than she already was.
Not long after Electra left, Tasha came back.
"So do you, like, just turn into a wolf and go run around or what?" Alex asked as Tasha took a seat near us.
She looked between my sister and me. I could tell she wasn't sure what to say, should she say the truth, should she lie? I just shrugged.
"Sometimes," she said slowly.
"So that's what you two are then? You're a human or a wolf? You just change between the two?"
"Not exactly," I said this time. "There are different types of shifts."
Alex had been asking non-stop questions since she'd come clean with me. And in turn, I'd tried answering her questions as honestly as I could.
"Like what?"
"Well a full wolf for one. Sometimes we only need our claws or fangs though."
"Why?"
"Because each type has its advantages and drawbacks," Tasha said. "If I want to fight, I'm going to do it as a were human. If I want to run through the woods, go long distances, chase something; I'm going to do it as a wolf."
That basically summed it up. The wolf was good for senses, speed, everything was heightened more so than it normally was, and we were incredibly fast. A partial shift was one where we drew on our natural weapons for strength. Not that I'd ever been one to fight, I'd avoided those if I could.
"Alex we're going to head outside for a while," I said.
"Where are you going?"
"Tasha just needs to help me with something."
We both went out and into the woods. There was an area further into the trees where one had fallen down during a storm. I sat on the fallen trunk and Tasha sat next to me.
"You've seemed better these past couple days. Not that I've seen you much to say anything or to really compare. But from what I've seen-"
"Electra accepted me. Well, not in that way, but she said she was giving this a real go."
"Oh. That's great." Tasha smiled.
"I just. I really needed to fix whatever it is in me that keeps losing control. I can't risk screwing this up, not when we're so close."
"If she's your mate then she shouldn't be scared off by you."
"You remember the part about her being a hunter right?"
"And you remember the mate part right?"
"Yes, but I think the hunter part is slightly more ingrained in her. Just because she can't or won't kill me doesn't mean that she won't walk away because of what I am."
"She'd be a fool to walk away," Tasha mumbled as she looked away. I wasn't sure if I had actually heard her correctly.
"Look. I asked for your help. Are you going to do that for me or not?"
"Of course I'll help you. I just still understand why you're having this problem."
"I don't know. I don't really know how all of this works yet. I wasn't born like this like you were."
"When does the problem seem to happen again?"
I looked out at the trees not really able to meet her gaze.
"When Electra and I are..."
"When you get lost in the moment?"
I nod.
"What are you thinking about when it happens?"
I tossed her a 'what do you think' look. Was she really asking that? What I thought about when I felt Electra against me? What the heck did she think?
"Yes it's a serious question, and I don't just mean your mate infected male brain," she said with an eye roll.
"I...well...I mean I think about the feel of her, I think about us, I think about a possible future. I worry what would happen if my wolf took over."
"And that's normally when it happens?"
I thought about it. All the thoughts jumbled together, but it seemed like that was when I usually slipped
"Seriously Jare? You are your problem!"
"What do you mean?"
Tasha rolled her eyes. "Everything is heightened as a werewolf, you know this. It's part of what creates that feeling when you're with your mate. It's the advanced hearing, the sense of smell you have. Even your emotions are heightened. You spend your time worrying and that's what happens. You overload yourself and the human part of you loses control."
"I overload myself?"
"Yeah. You go into systems overload. Your body and mind are focused on your mate, on everything that she entails, but you also worry about what could happen. I mean I don't blame you, I'd be nervous making out with someone who has weapons stashed down her pants and could kill me. But that's what your problem is. Somehow you need to figure out how to calm yourself down."
Could the answer really be something so simple? I remembered that other Alpha that said marking Electra would help calm my wolf within. Who should I trust? Some Alpha from a different world, or Tasha? They'd both been born into the lifestyle. Tasha was from here though, from this world.
I supposed I could try listening to what she said. If that didn't work, well, there was still what that Alpha had said.
I was hoping that Tasha was right. How could I possibly ask Electra if I could mark her? How could I explain to her that it could help me control myself? That her giving herself to me would help me gain my own control, that she was the only thing that could help stabilize me.
"Are you sure it's really that simple?"
Tasha nodded.
"So what? I just give in to what I'm feeling with her and don't think about it at all?"
"Don't focus on the future or what might happen. Just focus on what you have. We don't get a guaranteed future. This could be over at any moment; even the most immortal of creatures can die. We're all fragile in our own ways. Just focus on what you have now. Give in to that and you should be fine."
I didn't know how to give in. I was too paranoid about slipping up that I was never relaxed. What Electra invoked in me made me nervous. I was afraid of those feelings, but I was fairly certain most of my nervousness had come from not knowing how she felt about me.
She liked me, at least enough to want to give us a shot, and enough to come to me without any weapons. She trusted me even after my previous slip-ups. The woman that was always ready for anything came to me unprepared, willing to jump into the deep end with me. I could at least try to let everything go for her.
I just hoped that it worked.
*************
So he apparently has a few different options. Who do you think he should trust? Rafe or Tasha? What are your thoughts on the chapter or the story so far? Leave your comments below and remember to leave a vote if you enjoyed the chapter :)
Thanks all!
~Red