The mission started out more different than others. They'd been walking down the beaten path away from the village for almost six hours now, and all throughout that time, only a few words were spoken, none of which were aimed at Sasuke. He knew Sakura and Naruto had spent collectively more time together over the years, time he'd missed for selfish reasons. He knew Sasuke was intertwined with both of them in an unpleasant way, at least currently.
He was stuck walking behind both, with Naruto leading the way. He wanted to say something, anything, to break the tension that was consuming him. But then he saw Naruto's hands move from the back of his head to his stomach, as he leaned slightly forward. As he stopped walked, both Sakura and Sasuke did the same, with Sakura raising concern.
"Naruto!" She exclaimed. He wasn't attacked, was he? Sasuke placed his hand atop his sword. And then...
His stomach grumbled and he let out a cheeky giggle. "Must be time to take a break." He smiled to his comrades as Sakura scoffed over her unnecessary concern. She looked around at the location.
"I'm sure there's a creak down east through this brush, if the map is still accurate." Sakura pointed, heading to lead the way now. "Shouldn't take us too long to get there."
Naruto nodded and followed as Sakura walked off the path and into the forest beside them. Sasuke took a second, and then followed suit.
As they reached the creak, just as Sakura predicted, they set down their traveling gear and backpacks. Naruto groaned as a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He crashed on the rocky ground, pulling his backpack around and digging through it for his food. Sasuke pulled out two rice balls for himself, from his own backpack, and Sakura pulled out a bento she'd made of fish, rice, and a dumpling to finish off. All three of them immediately started digging in.
"Ay, Sakura-chan -" Naruto spoke with his mouth full.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you should swallow your food before you open your mouth, Naruto?" Sakura jabbed him with that comment. And so, forcing the food down, Naruto gulped.
"Sheesh, Sakura-chan."
"What is it?"
"How long till we get there?" Naruto asked.
"We just started off. At least, another full day or so. Granted we don't waste time." Sakura glared at Naruto. And h groaned, taking another bite of his food. Then he got an idea.
"Ay, Sasuke -" Before he could finish, Sakura whacked the back of his head.
"Don't talk with your mouth full." Naruto's eyes widened in fear of his female comrade. He chewed his food quickly, and swallowed, rubbing his head.
"Sasuke?" Naruto looked to Sasuke, who was finishing off his first rice ball. It felt like Naruto was waiting for Sasuke to give him the attention he'd need to complete his sentence. And so, Sasuke looked up at him. He hand't looked in his eyes since the morning of the day prior. It made his heart race and he wasn't sure how long he could keep the contact up.
"Yeah." Sasuke said.
"You can teleport right? With your Rinnegan?" Sasuke closed his eyes.
Idiot.
"I can across dimensions."
"Across dimensions..." Naruto repeated, slowly.
"Which means it won't help us get there faster, Naruto. We don't need to go into a different dimension." Naruto didn't look to Sakura, but continued to stare at Sasuke, who had already looked away from the blonde to finish more of his meal. Naruto sighed.
"Ah, well..." Naruto jumped up. "We'll just have to move faster than." Neither Sasuke or Sakura could understand the hurry, but just assumed it was Naruto being... Well, Naruto.
"I'll be right back." Naruto left his space on the rocks and jumped over to the dense forest, heading deep inside and out of sight. Now, it was just Sasuke and Sakura and he was feeling a wave of nerves drown him. Even as he was looking down, counting the grains of rice on his rice ball, he felt Sakura's longing gaze towards him. He couldn't suppress her feelings, but there'd have to be some way to politely turn her away from him.
"Sasuke-kun..." She mumbled towards him. "About the other night..."
Sasuke's heart was beating so loud it'd be impossible for Sakura not to notice it. He continually looks down at his rice balls, fearful of what he'd say if he gave back her attention.
"It was wrong of me to... Be all over you like that... And I'm sorry." Sasuke gulped. He could tell that she was ashamed of her actions, but also disappointed that her actions pushed Sasuke further away. He knew she was trying anything to keep Sasuke close. He didn't want her to think low of herself because he wasn't acting how she'd desired. It wasn't her fault that he was who he was... Even if he did have those feelings for Sakura, he probably wouldn't act on them...
"I should've asked you if it was okay." She laughed, uncomfortably. "Probably shouldn't drink like that anymore, right, Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke didn't know how to say what he needed to say. He'd tried to be distant with her, but it did no good. He'd even been slightly aggressive towards her, and it played out the opposite of how he thought it would. He was at a loss.
"Sasuke-kun...?" His name was drawn out of her mouth with utmost delicacy. He slowly tilted his head to look at Sakura. Those deep eyes of his focused on her green emerald's, hoping the words would just come to him. Should he let her down easy here? No... They still had a mission to do together...
"Sakura..." Sakura's being shivered at the mention of her name from his mouth. He didn't want to hurt her... "It's not your fault." He watched as she sunk a bit. This wasn't the answer she was hoping for... Her love for him was so strong that, no matter what, it'd take time for her to find her footing without him there.
"Who is it then?" Sasuke's eyes trembled as they looked at Sakura. She'd put him on the spot and there was no way to escape the question. He gulped so acutely that it was actually painful. She'd looked away from him by now, disappointed in herself for asking such an intrusive and personal question, but she wasn't retracting it. She honestly wanted to know...
But Sasuke couldn't tell her.
"Nobody." Sasuke said, faking his confident tone. He'd hoped he'd convinced her enough so that she'd take a step back, but her emotional state was growing more unstable. He could tell by her white knuckles grasping the end of her shorts, the quick breaths... It all added up to her being taken over by her feelings, unable to accept his answer.
"So, you just... It is me then." A dagger shot through Sasuke's heart and time around him froze. There was a chill in the air, falling on top of him, making it more difficult to catch his breath. Not to mention, the tinnitus in his ears caused him to nearly pass out, but he tried to hold his composure, not for himself, but for Sakura. He had no response to give... It truly wasn't her fault. And he didn't want her to blame herself for his misunderstood emotional turmoil.
Sasuke glanced towards the area where Naruto ran off to, in hopes that'd he interrupt this heavy conversation. He waited for a second too long though...
"Sasuke-kun, why can't you talk to me?" Sakura pleaded for his attention. Sasuke wished he could disappear. Maybe he shouldn't have gone on the mission. Chances are it would've run more smoothly if Shikamaru was here instead of himself. He couldn't control the circumstances surrounding Sakura and him. And it was hard for him to look at her anymore... Not only because he hated seeing her in the overly emotional state, but also because he couldn't fix himself for her.
"I'm... Sorry, Sakura." Sasuke, dizzy from the interaction, folded his rice ball up and placed it inside of his backpack. He then zipped it up and threw it on his back. "But we have a mission to do."
Sakura was holding back tears, but she was strong enough to realize that this might not be the time to express emotions so vividly. The rules of a Shinobi were clear, and she'd regularly commented on how she'd memorized them with ease. She would know to compartmentalize her feelings for Sasuke during a mission of this caliber.
"Are you finished?" Sakura looked down at her half eaten bento box as she asked Sasuke the question.
"Yeah."
From the bushes, he saw Naruto heading back to their make shift site.
"We should try and make to the Land of Water before sunset." Sasuke turned away from her and headed back towards the path. He could feel, not only her eyes, but Naruto's as well, track his movement's as he walked away from them both.
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The sun was setting in the distance and they'd only just recently crossed over the border. Now, it was about finding a place to stay the night. Sasuke was walking slightly behind Naruto now, while Sakura was trailing behind them. She looked to be giving Sasuke space, perhaps hiding her embarrassment from earlier. The constant rejection from Sasuke must've been catching up to her.
Sasuke looked over at Naruto who looked comfortable, content, unbothered... Even though the last time he'd saw Naruto before the mission, he'd left him almost speechless. Sasuke couldn't piece together how the blonde was feeling towards him. He knew he felt close, and that Naruto was open to Sasuke staying close, in fact, he was asking for it... But Naruto didn't seem to be tormented by the feelings he was feeling, if there were any at all. Sasuke sighed and looked back ahead.
"I've been around here before." Sasuke broke the silence with his deep voice, causing Naruto to look over at him from the corner of his eye. "There's an outpost coming up." Naruto grinned. He began to walk a bit quicker.
"Maybe they'll have a ramen stand." Naruto was lost in his wild imagination, licking his lips in anticipation.
Did he only think about food?
Sakura dove in too. "Or a bath house." Her voice was quieter than normal, but hopeful.
"They've got both." Sasuke confirmed.
Naruto nearly leapt for joy as the outpost became clearer in the distance. The journey so far had been fairly boring and ordinary. There were no run in's with rogue ninja's, or thieves, or lost travelers. It was probably equivalent to a vacation for the other two.
Naruto sped away, with Sakura running after him, Sasuke watched as his comrades faded into younger versions of themselves. He could hear Sakura berating Naruto for his impatience and obnoxious behavior, while Naruto fought back, dismissively, yet hurt because Sakura wouldn't join in on his fun. Memories flooded his subconscious. And as the two reached the bath house, they paused, waiting for Sasuke to catch up. He couldn't help but smile, even though the mission up until then had only put him on edge, he was ready to take control of his emotions. However, he didn't know how difficult that could prove.
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The three of them placed their belongings down in opposite corners of the room.
"So, what's first, y'know? I was thinking - " And just like that he was cut off by Sakura, who'd already headed to the door again, robe in hand.
"I'll be in the bath." She said, completely blowing off Naruto's hope of spending the time with his teammates. Naruto's voice cut out quickly and his grin disappeared. He didn't sulk often, but if Sasuke paid attention he could spot the brief seconds in which Naruto's disappointment replaced his optimism. But, he always found a way to pull the positivity back out, no matter the situation.
Even after that conversation between him and Sakura, something Naruto didn't know about, he felt Sakura was doing everything in her power to not let it get her down. Even if she didn't spend the evening with Naruto and himself, he knew she'd be fine. She was stronger than she let on. And so...
"It's just us then." Sasuke said to remind Naruto that Sakura wasn't the only comrade of his. Naruto smiled and sat down beside Sasuke on the ground. "Ah, Sasuke." He sighed.
Naruto tried again. "So, ramen or bath? I was thinking -"
"Let me guess, ramen?" Naruto's eyes squinted at Sasuke after being cut off again. He huffed as he leaned back, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. "It's rude to cut people off, y'know." Sasuke chuckled as he finished folding his sheets for the night beside his sleeping area. He looked over at Naruto's area, which was already a mess. He seemed to treat every place as his own, with no respect for others in that same space. Sasuke was slightly envious. Naruto didn't really care what other people thought about him. His whole life was set out to prove people wrong. However, his carelessness could be taken as a strength as well as a weakness. Right now, his things strewn about would definitely be a weakness.
Sasuke knew what he said next would tick Naruto off so... "I'm not really hungry." Naruto's eyes widened and his entire being folded over into itself. The rejection hit him like a ton of bricks. Watching Naruto's face come to terms with the fact that someone wasn't hungry was beyond entertaining for the raven.
"I think I'll go to the bath, too." Sasuke decided.
"What about ramen after the bath?" Naruto desperately pleaded to Sasuke. He really did only think about food.
"We'll see." Sasuke stood up and grabbed the robe he would use for the bath. Naruto's buttons were pressed and he mumbled, inaudibly to himself as he followed Sasuke's lead. Sasuke couldn't help but enjoy the idea that Naruto was gonna join him in the bath. They'd only bathed together once? Maybe twice? He could count the times on one hand, so it obviously wasn't much. His heart started racing as Naruto walked closely behind him to the bath area. He wasn't sure what would happen.
Probably nothing.
But still, he left a small ounce of hope in his heart.
The bath area's were separated by a giant bamboo wall. As Sasuke slid open the door, he noticed there was only two other people in the steaming spring. He gulped. Naruto, not waiting, slipped past Sasuke, robe already off, and headed to the bath. Sasuke looked behind him at Naruto's clothes and robe overflowing the basket they were in. Then, he looked forward again, watching Naruto dip his toe into the water.
"Eeeeeh!" Naruto shrieked. The other two individuals in the spring looked at Naruto. "Hot! Hot, hot!" Sasuke rolled his eyes, playfully and walked over to the empty basket besides Naruto's, stripping himself of his clothes and folding them neatly, then laying the robe on top. He felt the steam from the bath surround his bare body and he looked past the door, outside. Naruto was heading towards the opposite end of the bath. Sasuke's heart started racing. The bath house was such a normal experience and he wasn't unfamiliar with it by any means. He'd often bathed on his travels as it was a great stress reliever. However, as he headed into the bath, he could feel the heat take him over. The steam made everything beyond a foot away practically hidden. The water passed his waist line and he began to walk towards wherever Naruto was...
He looked around, but couldn't spot him amongst the opaque steam. So, he sunk down, covering the majority of his body under the heated water. The silence was haunting, not to mention the lack of visibility. He contemplated calling out for Naruto, but he was sure he'd see him soon enough, but as he reached the end of the spring, with no Naruto in sight, his brow furrowed. Slowly, he turned around to see some bubbles bursting on the surface of the water, and in a split second...
"Sasuke!" Naruto jumped out from underneath the water in the most childish attempt at scaring his comrade. Sasuke gasped, but his surprise didn't last long. Naruto couldn't help but laugh and point at Sasuke. "Be honest, I got you, y'know!"
"Shut up." Sasuke commented, turning away to lean against the rocky side of the bath.
"You're no fun, Sasuke. Relax." Naruto joined Sasuke, leaning against the same rocks as him. The two were close to each other again, nearly touching, but not yet. He chucked this closeness to Naruto having no boundaries. But it was still enjoyable to have Naruto near him. As if the spring wasn't hot enough, a naked Naruto sitting a little too close had the potential of sending Sasuke into a frenzy.
Keep it cool.
Sasuke looked forward and reminded himself that this was still a mission and feelings were to be kept separate.
"This feels good, right?" Naruto said, calming down.
"Huh?"
"The bath." Oh, the bath.
"Yeah." Sasuke responded, indifferent.
The two allowed the silence to come between them. Even though this bath was supposed to relax him, he couldn't help but think about Naruto beside him. All he had wanted to do on this mission was distract himself, thinking he could handle it, but it didn't seem to be the case. Every time he had an opportunity to be alone with Naruto, all he wanted to do was touch him. It could be as simple as brushing shoulders, even that caused a rise in his blood pressure. His eyes wander from the water to his friend beside him. His head was leaning back and sweat, or water, or a mixture of both, was dripping down his temple into his hair line. His breathing was slowed and the steam dispersed around his mouth on each exhale. Sasuke's eyes continues to wander down Naruto's neck, where his adam's apple was protruding. The sharp features of Naruto's profile could send him to another planet...
Keep it cool.
His internal monologue reminded him that if he lost himself in Naruto, he'd regret it. But the more he looked at Naruto, his thoughts went wild and he didn't care about regret anymore. He'd spent so much time regretting his past actions, but needed to remind himself that without those actions he wouldn't be where he was at that moment. Everything led him to right here, right now. Even if regret was attached.
As Naruto's eyes opened to looked at Sasuke, Sasuke snapped out of his trance. He sharply inhaled, staying connected with those blue eyes.
"What is it?" Naruto asked, innocently.
Sasuke was powerless. He was just watching Naruto. There was no rhyme or reason to why... He looked away.
He could hear Naruto sigh and lean forward. "It's about Sakura-chan, right?" Sasuke, still looking away, tensed up, gripping his leg in frustration.
"I might've heard a bit when we stopped earlier."
He heard?!
"What did you hear?" Sasuke questioned, firmly.
Naruto took a second. "Ay, Sasuke. I tried not to listen, but -"
"Then why did you?" Sasuke's response was quick, catching Naruto by surprise. Naruto's eyes fell. Sasuke didn't want to talk about Sakura. And he also didn't want to lash out at Naruto for his own failures. But the entire situation with Sakura was a mess and he didn't want Naruto involved. He couldn't let Naruto think that his "home" was Sakura and not him.
"Why'd you listen, Naruto?" He barked.
"I didn't mean to, y'know. But something was obviously wrong." Naruto defended his actions.
"It's not your place to insert yourself into relationships that don't involve you." That ticked Naruto off and the air around them shifted.
"Huh? I'm here also! This mission involves all of us and if you're going to go and upset Sakura-chan, you could sabotage the whole thing, y'know!" Naruto's point was definite. Even though he'd found his "home" with Hinata, he'd still fight till the ends of the Earth for Sakura, which is more than what Sasuke could say for himself. He had no chance to prove himself in that regard.
"Sakura is fine. So drop it." Naruto snarled at Sasuke's dismissive words. Sasuke couldn't help but push Naruto away, no matter how much it hurt him to do it. It was his only defensive mechanism.
Naruto looked at Sasuke, obviously upset. "You don't know that. She'd rather be alone than be with you right now, and that's saying something. She's always crying about you. I thought it'd be different when you came back home, but nothings changed." Naruto's words stung and Sasuke couldn't bring himself to challenge them. Again, he messed up. He was still an outsider and couldn't break through the walls to the other side. He wanted to drop the act and confess everything... Maybe that would help Naruto see why nothing had changed for him and Sakura...
"I can't fix this, y'know." Naruto spoke in a lower tone.
"Nobody asked you to." Sasuke remarked.
Naruto's face turned into one of disgust. "Huh? Sasuke? What's up with you?" Naruto's hands formed fists, rearing to attack.
Sasuke sighed. He didn't know what to do or where to go. Now, not only was Sakura distant with him, the one he'd been hoping to be closer to, was as well. Even being in a hot spring, Sasuke felt ice cold. His mind raced with thoughts and flashbacks of being alone again, of losing everyone close to him, of not being enough...
"I'll fix it." Sasuke whispered.
Naruto stared at Sasuke, tensed up, watching his body language. After a moment, Naruto relaxed his fists, even though his brow was still furrowed at Sasuke. And with a long exhale... "I believe you..."
Naruto then turned away from Sasuke and walked back towards the door in slow motion. Sasuke watched him shift through the bath and he could feel the corners of his mouth tremble. He didn't know how to change what had already happened. He was plagued with the misfortune of messing everything up, all the time, and not even having the strength to fix it. Who was he? Compared to Naruto, he was scum... He didn't want to be scum though... He wanted to walk alongside Naruto and support him. Watching Naruto walk away brought back a darkness that blurred his vision and he was actually afraid.
Naruto!
"Naruto!" Sasuke stood up and yelled. It was loud enough that anyone nearby would hear it, even Sakura. Confused, Naruto turned around. Sasuke rarely showed his feelings, but there was so much desperate and raw emotion packed into that one yell for Naruto, that it stopped the blonde in his tracks.
Sasuke didn't know where to go from here, but he knew he didn't want the dark to take over him again and the only way for that not to happen was to be near Naruto.
"Why are you walking away?" Sasuke struggled to speak.
And he could tell Naruto didn't know how to answer it. He left the silence sit on top of the water the two were soaking in. The question felt oddly pointed at Naruto, and it applied a pressure to him. Sasuke didn't mean to throw Naruto off, but he couldn't just let him walk away. However, in the silence, Sasuke found it harder to control his emotions. He couldn't stop.
"You said I'd never be alone again." A weight lifted off of Sasuke as he said those words. And he meant them, even if it felt like a vulnerable admission of his own insecurities. He was telling Naruto that his promise was what was holding Sasuke up, keeping him afloat.
Naruto could only look at Sasuke. And feeling his heart beat race again from the long stare of his comrade's, Sasuke shrunk back down into the water, hoping to shield himself from the possible rejection.
Naruto, however, took a different approach. It seemed he didn't consider that rejection was an option. Or maybe it was that he would never reject Sasuke. Naruto approached Sasuke with purpose and his presence was so overwhelming that Sasuke had trouble keeping his strength. As Naruto reached Sasuke, he grabbed his forearm, pulling him out of the water so the two of them landed face to face. They were so close that it was impossible for Sasuke to see all of Naruto's face without shifting his eyes. So, he kept his focus still, on the blue's in front of him.
He could barely breathe. Naruto's grip was so tight as if he wanted to dominate Sasuke's entire body.
"I'll never go back on my word." He paused. "Sasuke." Sasuke shuddered. He felt a cool breeze hit the side of his body and all he wanted to do was fall into Naruto's grasp. But he knew he couldn't. Not yet...
Naruto lowered their arms, but kept his grasp firm. Their eyes were still locked into each other and Sasuke tried to figure out what move Naruto was going to make, if any. He seemed serious, but he was known to switch his attitude in the blink of an eye. It was an art. Sasuke didn't mind this though. He'd gotten confirmation from Naruto that he'd never be alone again, and he was now proving that fact. He knew he needed to discuss things with Sakura, but that's not what he wanted to think about right now.
"You better not." Sasuke whispered.
Naruto...
He couldn't stop staring at him. And it seemed Naruto couldn't stop staring at Sasuke either.
Is this the sign I needed?