Chapter 16
"Let's go," King glanced at me while he's fixing his bag. Nandito siya ngayon sa harap ng classroom namin at kanina pa siya naghihintay. Kaninang alas tres pa ang huling subject niya pero matiyaga niya akong hinintay na hanggang alas singko pa ang klase.
I glared at him.
"What?"
"Wala." then I looked away. Hindi pa rin talaga ako sanay! I wonder when will it sink in that King is courting me. I never imagine myself being in a situation like this... or in a relationship. Not at all!
"Ang tahimik mo," puna ni King. Buong biyahe akong nakatingin sa labas at hindi nagsasalita.
"Tahimik naman talaga ako."
"Weh?"
"Anong weh?!" I glared at him harshly.
"We're here kako," agap niya. "...nasa bahay niyo na tayo." Palusot niya.
"Huwag ka na sumunod kung ganoon," I hissed.
He chuckled, "Alright. I won't. Good bye, Casper."
I nodded without glancing at him.
"Casper!" he called before I could close his car's door.
I looked at him, waiting for him to speak again.
"Wala bang 'ingat ka diyan' para sa akin?" he tilted his head and then he grinned widely.
"Saka na kapag sinagot na kita," sabi ko saka dali-daling sinara ang pintuan ng sasakyan niya para hindi na makadaldal pa ang lalaking 'to. Mabilis ko ring binuksan ang gate namin at pumasok na sa bahay.
After I closed the door, I leaned on it. I held my chest and that's the time I realized I was holding back in breathing.
My phone suddenly vibrated and then I saw King's message.
King:
Damn, I am really.....................................
Ha? Ano daw? Bakit hindi niya tinuloy? I shook my head before I type my reply.
Me:
Yeah, you're really crazy.
"Next week will be our prelims for this subject," our instructor announced. I was frowning while jotting down on my notes all the things we needed to do right after this week ends and then the next week. Ang daming gagawin!
Hindi ako pala reklamo pero... parang... ang dami naman yata neto?
Kanina nag-quiz din kami sa isa naming subject and this is my first time being not confident with my own answers.
"You're frowning again," King said while chewing his food. As usual, sabay ulit kaming kumain ngayong lunch... at unti-unti na ring nasasanay... pero sa mga tingin ng mga estudyante ako naiilang pa.
"Ang daming gagawin next week eh. Daming requirements."
"Oh? 'Di bale kaya mo naman."
Kumunot ang noo ko.
"Sabay na lang tayong mag-aral sa library kapag parehong vacant time natin," he suggested.
"Oh talaga, King? Nag-li-library ka pala?" I smirked.
"Excuse me? Library boys kami nila Cody at Yuno."
"Natutulog ka lang naman doon," I teased.
"Well, they're with their girls so... yeah I have no choice but to sleep. I'd rather sleep than watching them."
"Flirting?" tiningnan ko siya nang masama.
"Not flirting like what you're thinking but it's too boring to just watch them so I sleep," he shrugged.
"Ang sabihin mo, inggit ka lang."
"Bakit ako maiinggit? May nililigawan na nga ako eh." Now, it's his turn to smirk. I blinked twice before I looked away. I swear, I think I had a goosebumps after I heard that.
"None of you pass the quiz," our instructor declared. I was just looking at my paper and on my score. This is my first time I failed in a quiz. Sa major ko pa!
I want to cry... but not here. I am really, really frustrated at myself. I am frustrated at myself because I know it's just a quiz but... I feel like... I really failed!
"Hindi ka lang sanay," King commented.
"Saan ba tayo pupunta? Iuwi mo na ako!" I am irritated because we are going to different direction.
"Mag-mi-milk tea tayo."
"Sira ka ba? Kung gusto mo magmilk tea mamaya na pag uuwi ka na," I hissed. "Bababa na ako," sabi ko kahit na umaandar pa ang sasakyan niya.
"Ang dami ko pang gagawin King! Ano ba?!" I shouted. Pulang-pula na rin ako ngayon dahil sa inis kay King.
"Sa tingin mo may gana pa akong magmilk tea, eh, bagsak na nga ako?"
"King ano—"
"Casper, calm down!" he looked at me. "It's just a quiz. Bawi ka na lang sa susunod."
I laughed sarcastically, "It's just a quiz huh? Major namin iyon!"
"Bawi ka na lang sa ibang quiz or midterm—"
"Nag-aral naman ako ah. Bakit bumagsak pa rin ako? Nakakainis!" nakakairita! Gusto ko na umiyak.
The car stopped.
"Casper..." King called but my eyes were just somewhere straight, nangingilid na ang mga luha dahil sa frustration. Nakakainis, ang OA ko... pero kasi...
"Hey, Casper..." he called again, this time he reached my elbow.
"Hey..." there, I looked at him.
His eyes were gentle... and very comforting...
"Ang hard mo naman sa sarili mo..." Napaka-malumanay ng boses niya. "You did great. You put all your efforts even if just only a quiz... but hey, let's just accept the fact that not all the time we can perfect it."
Closed my eyes... ayaw i-process ng utak ko ang mga sinasabi ni King...
"We failed... so what?"
I took a deep breath and nodded slowly though I still don't accept the fact that I didn't pass.
Nakapasok na kami sa loob ng Macao Imperial at hinyaan ko na lang si King na umorder ng amin. My head is still spacing out when King called me.
"Ha? Ano iyon?" I blinked twice.
"Ito iyong sa'yo." sabay abot niya ng inorder.
"Thanks," I mumbled.
The air is refreshing. Nakakalamig din ng ulo itong iniinom namin pero tuwing naalala ko ang mga requirements at reviewers ko parang gusto ko takbuhin ang bahay at magbasa na lang nang magbasa.
But King is right... I am being too hard on myself again. Why don't I give myself a chance to fail even if just once? Para alam ko naman ang feeling... pero kasi... ayaw ko at natatakot ako.
"What do you do when you failed an exam or a quiz?" out-of-nowhere I asked.
"Wala," mabilis niyang sabi. "Tuloy pa rin ang buhay."
"Umiinom ng alak," he added and laughed.
I sighed. Si King nga pala itong kausap ko...
"It's not that I don't care about my grades but more likely... I just already accepted it from the beginning that failing is just part of life,"
He's full of wisdom.
"... and it's okay to fail. Just come back better."
He's a very...positive person.
"For once in your life, do you feel like you're pressured on something?" I asked.
He stopped for a moment. He's now staring at me. I wonder if he feels any pressure right now... parang hindi at parang hindi pa siya na-p-pressure sa kahit ano.
"Of course, Casper." I admit, I was shocked. Oh? Si King? Na-p-pressured din? Gusto kong tawanan siya at pabulaanan ang mga sinabi pero hindi naman ako si King para i-judge siya. Besides, what we see for a person is not always accurate. Some people are just good at masking his/her true emotions.
"I see."
My eyes are now darted on my drink.
"Then you're really good at hiding whatever burden you have." My eyes went back on him. His eyes widened, it looks like I am correct.
He didn't say any words.
"Don't worry I understand you, King. I am really pressured as of now too... uhh... well buong buhay ko pala," pahina nang pahina ang boses ko.
"But you know what?" I chuckled. "While seeing you smiling I then realized... magkaibang-magkaiba pala tayo. Parang lahat para sa iyo nadadala sa ngiti kahit na... nahihirapan o nasasaktan ka na. Samantalang ako, madalang mo lang makitang ngumiti. Madalang na makitang masaya."
"Feeling ko kasi parang nagkakautang ako sa mundo kapag masaya ako," sabi ko.
"Libre lang naman ngumiti kaya hanggat may pagkakataon, ngumiti ka," aniya.
"Kahit na nahihirapan na?"
"Kahit nahihirapan na."
"Kahit nasasaktan na?"
"Kahit nasasaktan na," tumango siya.
"Paano kapag hindi ko na kaya... at gusto na lang umiyak?"
"Edi umiyak ka... tapos ngiti ka ulit." He smirked.
I narrowed my eyes, "Are you kidding me? Hey, I'm serious here."
"What? I'm serious too," he chuckled again.
"What I am trying to say is, it's okay to cry if you want to cry. It's okay not feeling okay because of too much burden but then, you forgot Casper that there's still tomorrow. It's not yet end of the world and even if let's just say tomorrow will be the end of the world I'd rather die smiling than frowning," he said... then he is laughing again
"You worry a lot. Don't be... and don't be scared..." he paused. He's now looking at me with an unexplainable look, parang may binabalak na naman na kalokohan.
"Of the things that could go wrong along the way..." he continued. My brows furrowed because he's acting strange again. Nababaliw na naman ata.
"You'll get by with a smile..." nagsalita siya ulit nang nakitang nakakunot ang noo ko.
"You can't win at everything but you can try..."
"Oh, o-okay. I get it King, okay?" Milk tea naman iniinom namin ah, hindi naman alak bakit parang ang lakas ng tama nito.
"Baby, you don't have to worry, 'cause there ain't no need to hurry. No one ever said that there's an easy way..." he added again.
Ha?
"When they're closing all their doors and they don't want you anymore..."
"King," I called him.
"This sounds funny but I'll say it anyway..."
"Hey..." I tried to stop him but he's still on it!
"Girl, I'll stay through the bad times, even if I have to fetch you everyday," pagseseryoso niya.
Nagtaas ako ng kilay at saka ngumuso.
"We'll get by with a smile?" I continued the song. There, he is now laughing so loudly... not minding other people inside.
"But don't let it bring you down and turn your face into a frown..."
"Ha?! Hindi pa naman iyan ang dugtong eh," reklamo ko kasi hindi pa naman iyan ang katuloy ng lyrics ng kanta.
"Eh, bakit ba?"
I glared at him.
"You'll get along with a little prayer and a song..." I continued.
"Lift your head, baby don't be scared of the things that could go wrong along the way..." he started it again.
"You'll get by with a smile..." I said.
"Yeah, Casper. We'll get it by with a smile." then he smiled... very genuinely.
Hindi ko na rin nakayanan ang sarili at ngumiti na rin sa kanya. I am smiling at him with full of sincerity and I hope and I wish he can feel it.
Suddenly, his smiles disappeared. It changed and he is looking at me unbelievably. I smiled more while watching his reaction. His reaction was priceless! His lips were even parted and his eyes widened.
He closed his eyes when he heard me laughing at him softly.
Natigil lang ako nang mahimasmasan ako konti at tumingin muli sa kanya. Nakadilat na ang mga mata niya at nakapukol ito sa akin.
"Ngumiti ka," aniya.
Hindi ako nagsalita, sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko.
"Sobrang ganda mo."
~~
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