Everyone takes their seats for the next episode.
(Theme Music Plays)
(Crickets chirping)
Player: How's the big, fat Greek caper going, Red?
"So we're in Greece now." Carmen says.
"That's cool. We can see the apocalypses." Zack says.
"Acrop... You know what I'm not gonna say it. It's gonna come up later in the show I just know it." Ivy says.
Carmen: Wish I were gazing on the Parthenon in Athens instead of some airstrip in the boonies. But your Intel was spot on. VILE's on the scene intercepting a package, contents unknown. Time to intercept their intercept.
(Blade whooshes)
Dash: Carmen Sandiego, you should watch your noggin.
"Oh not him! This means it's a Countess Cleo caper." Gray says.
Carmen: Dash Haber, neat little hat trick you got there.
Dash: I call it the "buzz cut".
"And he just got ten times lamer." Player says.
(Carmen runs dodging the hat)
(The cleaners barely notice the fight as they continue loading the packages. Carmen makes a run for the helicopter and Dash slices through the lamp posts, Carmen just barely dodges them)
(On the return trip Carmen uses her grapple to grab the hat.)
Cleaner: Haber, time to fly.
Carmen: Not so fast, Hat Hair, I have a date with that crate. Catch!
Dash: You owe me a chapeau!
"Maybe he should try a French accent. He just sounds like a whiney kid." Zack says.
"We do not need to hear Haber butcher a French accent." Jean-Paul mutters making Antonio chuckle.
(Carmen shoots her grapple onto the helicopter but Dash cuts the line.)
Carmen: Player, intercept was a bust. Then again. Fabric?
Zack: Why would VILE steal only one crate of fabric?
"Maybe Cleo wanted a new jacket." Carmen says.
Carmen: Maybe Coach Brunt just needed enough material to knit Maelstrom a sweater.
A few people laugh at the image presented.
Ivy: I'd like to think it's because Carmen scared 'em off.
Zack: She's wicked awesome.
Carmen: Scare off Dash Haber? Maybe.
Shadowsan: But the Cleaners do not know fear.
"What is the deal with the cleaners anyways? Who are they and where did they come from? I'm really curious about them." Player says and turns to look at the group of former VILE operatives. They all look at each other and shrug.
"We never received any information about them, just that you do not, under any circumstances cross them." Gray says.
Tourist woman: Look, honey, a samurai.
(Shadowsan glares at the tourists making the scuttle away nervously.)
"I think your wardrobe could use a... bit of an update." Jules says trying to be delicate.
"You are most likely correct. My usual garb is not fit for traipsing around the world. I stand out far too much." Shadowsan says.
Shadowsan: Perhaps it would be best not to discuss delicate matters in public, especially since my attire seems to be attracting I unwanted attention.
Zack: We're at the apocalypse, ancient Greeks wore togas here.
Ivy: Acropolis.
"I KNEW IT!" Ivy shouts jumping up in her seat.
Zack: That's what I said, apocalypse.
Shadowsan: Clothes do not make the man, but I might still suggest retreating to the privacy of your headquarters.
Ivy: As in HQ?
Zack: Does that stand for something?
"OW!"
"Ivy if you keep hitting him he won't have an arm by the time this is over." Carmen says.
"That is a sacrifice I'm willing to make." Ivy says bluntly.
"Hey!" Zack shouts.
Shadowsan: I admire your discretion. I am not sure that I would trust me enough to reveal its location just yet either.
"I mean we can't exactly reveal the location of a place that doesn't exist." Carmen says.
Carmen: We would trust you, Shadowsan, if we actually had one. Hard to believe but true.
Shadowsan: Why would you not possess a home base?
Carmen: I vowed if I ever left VILE island, I'd see the world. And here we are.
"But wouldn't you want a place to relax and hang your hat?" Chase asks. Carmen just shrugs.
Zack: Welcome to Carmen San Diego's never ending tour.
Ivy: And the wicked sweet part, VILE's footing the bill.
"That is probably the best part to all of this." Player laughs.
Carmen: I guess if I knew more about my past, I might have a better idea where I'd wanna hang my hat. I mean, home base should feel like home, shouldn't it?
Player: Heads up, gang, those samples VILE stole, turns out its smart fabric. Used for totally cutting-edge wearable technology, designed to make the clothes on your back as smart as the phone in your pocket. Imagine, pants that alert you when you're packing on the pounds, golf shirts that track your swings, underwear that can monitor your...
(Zack bursts into laughter)
Ivy: Ew!
"Children." Shadowsan mutters under his breath.
Player: ... heart rate.
Ivy: Oh, that's not gross.
Zack: Or hilarious.
Payer: I scoured the data on VILE's hard drive for a potential connection to anything involving fabric. The only thread I could pull was a passing mention of something happening in Milan. Italy, this week.
"Dash Haber, smart fabric, Milan.... Must be something fashion related." Antonio says.
"It's Countess Cleo so you're probably right." Gray says.
Shadowsan: Fashion fest. Where clothing designers display their latest styles. Countess Cleo always took an interest.
Carmen: We know she was a failed runway model before turning to a career of crime.
"Make a note of that Zari." Tamara says.
Player: Though wearable tech does scream more of Dr. Bellum, am I right?
"Maybe a coordinated effort?" Jean-Paul says.
Shadowsan: It could be a team effort or the brainchild of someone new entirely. It is inevitable that VILE will begin the process of seeking my replacement, if they have not done so already.
"Oh please, who could possibly replace Shadowsan?" Zack asks.
"The only person I believe would be suitable to take my place would be Carmen." Shadowsan says.
"Yeah like that would happen." Carmen scoffs.
Cookie: The financial health of VILE is not looking pretty. Our profits are down and we continue to suffer losses, Rio being quite the fiasco. Carmen Sandiego's been putting way too big a dent in our resources, which is why it would behoove you to fill the vacancy left by Shadowsan with someone that knows how to get VILE out of the red.
"I know she's talking about herself, but the only time we've seen her she was totally incompetent." Player says.
"Who exactly is that woman?" Hideo asks.
"Cookie Booker. VILE's book keeper." Shadowsan tells him.
"And the main victim of Carmen's childhood water balloon pranks." Chase chuckles.
Cleo: Not only is Cookie stylish, she's smart with money.
Cookie: Grazie, mi Contessa.
Bellum: And a team player, our very own bookkeeper, a numbers girl, hatched a plan melding my technology with Cleo's fashion connections.
"Makes sense really, Cleo is too self absorbed and Bellum is so focused on her experiments that they really wouldn't consider ways to combine their expertise." Gray says.
Brunt: I for one champion comfort over frilly frills.
Maelstrom: You will need to pull out all the stops, Miss. Booker. After all, Black Sheep's escape from this island, her very look, can be traced back to your failings on that fateful night.
"Best night of my life." Carmen says.
Cookie: Let me assure you, Gunnar, no one steals from me, locks me in a closet and impersonates me without paying a price. And I didn't even mention the water balloon attacks. If Carmen Sandiego shows her face in Milan, she will become my first fashion victim.
"Of all the people in that room she's the least intimidating." Player says bluntly.
Jules: There has to be some explanation for why they were seen together in Rio. Carmen Sandiego may have been information gathering or... or trying to keep an enemy close.
Chief: Possible but unlikely. I'm afraid our girl was recently seen in Japan and in Greece. Care to guess who her traveling companion was?
"Wow it's really fun listening to how wrong you are. Should you really be so sure about things when you only have a quarter of the information?" Gray asks. Tamara scowls knowing they're wrong in the show, but she's even more annoyed by the fact she hasn't been able to get Carmen alone to talk to.
Zari: They do seem like more then casual acquaintances. One agents opinion.
"Dad-o-san." Player says through a cough making several people laugh.
Carmen glances back at Shadowsan who is firmly scowling at the screen. She smiles and turns back to the screen.
Chief: Our mystery man is one of two suspects your ex-partner ID'd as his abductors that night in Poitiers, yet, ACME still can't put a name to the face. He's a ghost, a shadow. In short, he fits VILE's profile perfectly. Our Crime Net analysts indicate our super thief may be bound for Milan. It's fashion fest there, Agent Argent, so you had better look sharp. As well as sharpen your resolve to catch Carmen Sandiego.
"You really need to get better at this." Jean-Paul says.
Carmen: Anything more on potential VILE targets in Milan?
Player: Working on it , Red. But I did learn a thing or two about fashion fest. All the top designers show off their seasonal collections at certain times of the year in different cities of the world, Milan's a big one. Every year the shows get more elaborate and more competitive. Big buzz translates to big profits.
"Big profit translates to big target for VILE." Ivy says.
Carmen: What really fascinates me is Italy has a long history with fashion, dating back to the renaissance, a period of great artistic and cultural achievement that began in the 14th century. Wealthy families like the Medici's, didn't just sponsor artists like Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci, they cultivated their own sense of high style.
Player: No kidding, check out their threads. Guess the Medici's did good while looking good, just like you, Red.
Ivy: At least Shadowsan's getup doesn't look so out of place here.
"I'm gonna disagree with you. Even there a samurai looks out of place." Jules says.
Zack: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pizza and ice cream. My four basic food groups right there. Dairy, toppings, crust and cone.
"I can not even begin to explain everything wrong with what you just said." Carmen says laughing. Zack just grins.
Ivy: It's gelato Zack, Italian ice cream, and you can feed your face after we stop VILE.
Zack: Aw! Shadowsan will let me, right?
(Shadowsan growls.)
Zack: That's not a no.
"Amigo, you should stop annoying the ninja." Antonio says chuckling.
Carmen: Fashion events are taking place in every major venue.
Shadowsan: We should separate to cover more ground.
Carmen: I'll need to blend in. Shouldn't be too hard to find something chic to wear in my color around here.
"If it's anything like the dress from the charity gala you'll steal the show." Gray whispers in Carmen's ear.
Jules: Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest... Sandiego, you just got beached.
Jules blushes as people laugh at her practicing how she plans to arrest Carmen.
Zari: ETA to Milan, 36 minutes, 22 seconds. Are you ready to bag a super thief?
Jules: Yes, Agent Zari. In fact, I am.
Man: Ladies, you are representing La Dolce Rita, so please class it up. Number two, more mascara, I want to see your lashes from space. And where are your Fascinators? The hats, the hats!
Model: The lining's being restitched.
Man: On all of them?
Model: A haberdasher showed up, said Rita herself sent him.
"A haberdasher... or Dash Haber?" Jean-Paul asks.
Model #2: Some hottie with a hat.
Man: Someone please make sure they're ready by show time. We're modeling with authentic Medici gowns tonight. Not one seam in our presentation can be out of place.
Carmen: Hottie with a hat, sounds like someone we know. You catch the part about the Medici's?
"Wow, you look stunning in that outfit, remind me to get it for you when we get out of here." Gray tells Carmen.
"We'll have to get you a suit and matching tie." Carmen laughs.
Player: Yep. It wasn't publicized but it looks like the costume gallery of Pitti Palace in Florence recently loaned their 16th century finds. Four vintage Medici gowns. They're gonna be displayed during designer label La Dolce Rita's presentation.
Carmen: Not exactly what I'd call off the rack.
Player: More like dressed to the nines, as in nine million euros because that's about their combined worth.
"Nine million euro's? That's approximately ten million USD." Player says.
Carmen: Stage Crew, be on alert. We may have just learned VILE's this seasons must haves.
Zack: You got it Carm.
Ivy: Guess that would make us the fashion police.
"Maybe we can get some new threads." Zack says.
Jules: The Medici gowns are almost certain to be Carmen Sandiego's target, though they'll likely be under lock and key until showtime.
Zari: Search the hall, I'll have a look backstage.
Player: So you think VILE's hats are lined with smart tech?
Carmen: I'd bet my hat on it. We know Bellum loves her mind control experiments.
"Not just controlling them." Gray mutters.
Player: Instant remote controlled thieves. Okay, but why the models?
Carmen: The Medici gowns will be vulnerable for a brief window of time while the models are on stage. They'll be the only ones with clearance to be within reach of them.
Player: All part of the show. In plain view. Totally VILE's M.O.
"By the time anyone realized anything is wrong it'll be too late." Jules says.
Cleo: My Hench Model, Dash Haber, is on site transposing La Dolce Rita's headgear with our own.
Cookie: Bellissimo, Countess. Those mindless waifs will be dressed to steal.
Bellum: And now, some headgear of my own.
"Having to control all four at once will make adapting hard." Gray says.
"Good for us." Carmen says.
Dash: Showtime, ladies.
Zari: Hold it right there.
Carmen: Funny, you actually have something right there.
(Carmen kicks the weapon into the air spraying Zari with the gas.)
"Do ACME agents have combat training? Because from all these interactions I highly doubt it." Jean-Paul laughs as Zari faints on screen.
Carmen: Take five.
(The Medici gowns rise up on stage)
M.C: In the beginning were the Medici's.
Cleo: They're stunning.
M.C: Today, La Dolce Rita brings a new fashion renaissance to Milan.
Bellum: It's showtime. Walk the walk, then secure the gowns.
Carmen: Showtime.
Jules: Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest.
"Nailed it Jules." Player laughs.
Carmen: Jules, right?
Jules: Hands in the air. Now.
(Jules gasps as Carmen snatched the weapon from her hand.)
Carmen: You're not really dressed for the occasion, but we'll make it work.
Jules: What?
"She has been deputized." Ivy says.
Carmen: Come on, I need your help.
Jules: To do what?
Carmen: The reason you're here, save those Medici's. Keep it natural. Just imagine an invisible string pulling your head straight up from your spine. Walk with long strides and smile.
"Maybe when everything with VILE is over you should take up modeling." Gray suggests.
"We should make a list of everything Carmen could do when this is over." Player says grinning.
"Like a geography teacher?" Chase says making the room chuckle.
(Carmen and Jules strut down the runway behind the models.)
Carmen: Ready and turn. Follow my lead and be ready to grab a gown.
Jules: You want me to steal?
"First time?" Antonio asks.
"My first time committing a theft? Yes, yes it is." Jules says.
"Usually that's a good thing, but not in our line of work." Carmen says.
Carmen: If we don't, the models will.
Jules: But there are four gowns.
Carmen: Got it covered.
(Zack and Ivy climb on stage.)
"This just keeps getting better." Player says laughing.
Ivy: Work it, work it.
Zack: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Cookie: Who are they?
Cleo: One of them may or may not be a duke. Mr. Haber report.
"Is she just now figuring out the Duke isn't real?" Chase asks practically cackling.
Dash: Uh, the gowns are ready for carry out, Countess.
Cleo: Do not be so certain.
Zack: They like us!
Ivy: Nouveau Zack and Ivy is gonna be all the rage, bro.
Zack: Mind if we cut in?
Ivy: Bye-bye.
"You got the gowns, but it's not over yet." Shadowsan says.
Cookie: It's her. Carmen Sandiego.
Cleo: Sera we need a redirect.
Bellum: Ladies, I'm trying to focus here. Supermodels, stop that super thief. Retrieve those gowns.
(The platforms close before the models reach them.)
Zack: What's the plan Carm?
Carmen: Get the gowns to safety. Oh, and Jules is in charge.
"Wow Carm must really trust you to put you in charge." Zack says.
Jules: What about you?
Carmen: Busy.
(They back up as the models break through the platform door.)
"Uh... did the mind control also give them super strength?" Gray asks.
Jules: Get the gowns to safety.
Shadowsan: That is far enough.
Dash: Sorry teach, no dealio.
"Aww he thinks he can take Shadowsan. That's adorably naïve." Carmen says.
(The models rip their dresses and yell at Carmen.)
"That guy from before will not be happy about that." Ivy says.
Carmen: Not too ladylike, but I'm game.
(The models attack Carmen, and catch her hand beforehand she can pull one of their hats off.)
Carmen: Clothes line. I don't want to hurt you ladies, but you're gonna need to lose those hats.
(She narrowly dodges a few attacks and manages to snatched one of the hats.)
(Dash Haber throws his hat at Shadowsan who effortlessly catches it in one hand. After a tense standoff lasting barely a moment Dash runs for it.)
"That was awesome!" Player shouts.
"It's even cooler when he does it to someone that isn't a total coward." Gray says.
(Carmen continues to fight the models, Shadowsan joins her throwing Dash's hat, Carmen redirects it to slice off the remaining models hats.)
Carmen: Whew! Thanks, my hats off to you.
"Love a good pun." Zack laughs.
Man: Oh, scusi, scusi. You were magnifico. Which modeling agency are you with?
"Told ya." Gray chuckles. Carmen roles her eyes but smiles.
Bellum: I have quite a headache. Goodnight.
(Cleo glares at Cookie who chuckles nervously.)
Cookie: That's the way the cookie crumbles?
"Someone's not getting a spot on the faculty." Antonio says.
Carmen: Molto bello. And the best part, VILE's footing the bill.
Shadowsan: Good, because the price is steep.
"Nice clothes can be pricey, Shadowsan in normal clothes... priceless." Carmen says.
Carmen: You won't invite stares on the street dressed this way.
Shadowsan: I still wish to revisit the idea of a proper headquarters.
"He's got a point Red, having our own base of operations could be a good thing." Player says.
Player: Funny Shadowsan should mention it, Red. When I was trawling around for fabric and fashion info, you wouldn't believe what I stumbled on.
Carmen: Hackers really can wear white hats after labor day?
Player: Noted, but no. Remember Carmen brand outerwear?
Carmen: like I could forget.
"They gave me my name and my style." Carmen laughs.
Player: Well, guess what. After proudly serving San Diego county for 80 years, they've gone out of business.
Carmen: So you interrupted shopping day to tell me VILE's bookkeeper needs to find somewhere new to buy her rain gear?
"Tragic, someone give a eulogy." Zack says.
"You know what a Eulogy is?" Ivy asks making Zack pout.
Player: No. The warehouse is up for sale. The original location. In San Diego.
Carmen: And?
Player: Well, wouldn't it be freaky if the building made for a cool HQ?
"Think about it Red, that company is a huge part of your origin story." Player says.
"It's not a bad idea." Carmen says.
Shadowsan: Can I... get these? Zack got to have gelato and pizza.
A beat of silence followed the question before Team Red, Gray, Antonio and Jean-Paul all burst into laughter.
Chief: I can't argue with the results, Agent Argent, though, your choice of partner was a bit outside the box. It has been a challenge to reconcile all of Carmen Sandiego's contradictions.
"Probably because we are missing some very large and very important pieces to the puzzle." Jules says.
Jules: Perhaps, but I feel I now know enough to propose that we stop trying to capture Carmen Sandiego. What if we tried to recruit her?
"I'm not so sure about that." Carmen says.
Brunt: Next! Pity shame the number cruncher didn't make the cut.
"Oh yeah, real shame there." Chase says rolling his eyes.
Maelstrom: A shame indeed, Coach Brunt. After the failure of Shadowsan, we cannot accept anyone less than completely loyal to VILE. Or thoroughly evil to the bone. We must find Shadowsan's ideal replacement.
(End Credits.)
"Lets hope they never find that person, as long as the faculty is split it makes our job easier." Carmen says. The timer for the break appears and Zack jumps up.
"Gotta go!" He shouts bolting for the bathroom. Ivy just shakes her head and goes to grab a drink.
A/N I was re-watching the Duke of Vermeer Caper while writing this and did anyone else notice that Lady Dokuso was at Cleo's dinner party? I just did and freaked out scaring my cats.