9| angel
jeongguk was sitting inside his office, hands frustratedly in his hair as he closes his eyes and tried to steady his heartbeat.
why is his heart beating so fast though?
he blames it on the memory taehyung woke up in his head, but deep down there is something else.
"nghh!" he threw the pen he had on his table against the wall, making it splitter in every direction of the room, leaving a blue mark against the with white paint covered bricks, but he doesn't care.
he hates when he feels like this— is so confused. he doesn't understand himself and that scares him.
he's scared because he looses control and the last time he did...
a knock on the door made him look up again, his head was hurting and what he was going through got mirrored in his face, that looked paler than ever.
namjoon entered the room. he may or may not had overheard jeongguk's and taehyung's encounter from before and noticed jeongguk's change in acting the moment taehyung mentioned killing innocent people.
and he also knows why he changed.
"gguk, are you alright?" namjoon asked quietly and jeongguk looked up, face emotionless. "i'm fine, why are you here?"
"because you aren't fine at all. i heard you and taehyung and—"
"stop it!" jeongguk shouted, making namjoon flinch. he went with seokjin and jeongguk together through everything, since the ravenette was eighteen years old.
he had seen jeongguk growing up, changing to the person he is today. he had seen him in his happiest moments, in his saddest moments and in his biggest outbursts.
if this one thing didn't happen six years ago, would jeongguk still be the same?
"gguk you're hurting again, you can't always crawl into your own cave whenever you remember that day."
"hyung, go out!" jeongguk said, holding his head again, furiously looking down, lips pressed together.
"i won't go—
"you will or i..." but his words became quieter till no more words could leave his lips.
"what? or you make it end up ugly for me? you always say that, you never do. jeongguk you need to move forward, you can't always crawl back like this. forget what happened."
"how could i ever forget her, hyung? i loved her, jin loved her, you loved her too!" namjoon stiffened, because of course he loved her, she was like his own sister and he is more than sad that she isn't there anymore. but jeongguk isn't the one to blame.
"we all loved her gguk, we all lost her and suffered because of it, but this lies in the past, gguk. you couldn't know this would happen." namjoon said quietly and walks around the table, to put his hand on jeongguk's shoulder.
jeongguk wanted to cry, everyone says that crying helps to let things out, right?
but he can't cry. he just can't, because as much as he wants to, the facade he had build up and that only namjoon and seokjin can slightly see through keeps him from doing that. crying. he doesn't even remember how it feels.
so all he does is forming his emotion into anger— because anger is another emotion that you can let out with certain activities. and jeongguk is angry of himself, for his past actions, for not knowing she was in love with that person, for never trying to understand her.
he blames it on himself, that he lost the person who was the most precious to him.
"please just leave hyung— i don't want to talk about her."
five minutes later, jeongguk could be found in the how he calls it— good basement side of the mansion. there's the basement, where criminals are and the good basement. a fitness studio.
and he was in front of the punching bag, boxing against it with every fiber of anger that is in him. oh and boxing gloves? nah, they aren't for jeongguk in this state.
with his bare fists, he keeps hitting against the leather material of the bag, his knuckles turning white by the pressure, then red by the blood oozing out of the wounds.
jeongguk doesn't feel any pain, just keeps hitting, letting the frustrations inside of him out.
and when his anger seems to reduce— it gets replaced with another feeling, a feeling he can't describe, but the thoughts that cross his mind tell him who causes this feeling inside of him.
kim taehyung
jeongguk's moves slowed down, his breathing evened, in front of him, he sees only the blonde boy, hears his voice, feels his skin under his palms and remembers his lips on his.
well their lips touched when taehyung tried to kill himself and jeongguk saved him— that's not the point though.
the point is, that taehyung, even though not present, calms him down.
jeongguk's eyes widened when realization hit him and he fell on his knees.
why is he thinking about taehyung?
with a deep sigh, he gets up and walks upstairs again, deep in the chaos called thoughts.
he was off to go to his room and take a shower, since he's sweaty and his knuckles are bleeding, but he stops in his tracks, when a beautiful sound invades his ears. the melody so feathery, so soft, just mesmerizing.
jeongguk could feel the emotion of the music slowly seep through his body and spread throughout his veins.
the sound was magical, catching jeongguk's full attention, so he advanced the door where the sound came from. but his steps were so slow, so soft, because he was afraid that it was all just a dream and one wrong step would waver the music.
reaching the door, he quietly opened it, the click sound got unnoticed by both persons. the person inside and the one holding the door knob.
jeongguk's heart beat faster, a boy sat on a stool, bend over the huge machine in comparison to his small frame, his blonde hair so soft and shiny, his smile beaming brighter than the moon at night, while his slender fingers glided over the keys of a piano.
no this wasn't a normal boy, it was an angel.
the angel kept swaying with the sounds, the melody, he forgot everything around him, doing what he enjoys the most and thought could never do again.
every emotion was getting poured into the music, it made him cry in happiness. his smile never left his lips, his closed eyes held the tears back longer, but soon they also found their way out.
it was pure euphoria that the angel was feeling.
and it was a just too beautiful view.
the angel took a deep breath, before playing the last tones, the last part of his happiness gone with the last long note he played.
a sigh emitted his lips, he smiled further, now wiping his tears. a small laughter even escaped his lips, looking at the instrument he always was so familiar with.
he didn't want to leave the stool or retreat his fingers from the keys, but some day, every happiness finds its end.
the angel sat up, but the moment he turned around, he stiffened in place, looking at jeongguk, who was looking back at him, already missing the music.
his breath hitched from one of the other moment, his heart beating wildly against his chest. he didn't expect jeongguk to be here. and if when, he thought jeongguk would yell at him, but instead of that the older walks towards him.
taehyung was shaking at this point, he didn't know what that gaze jeongguk was holding meant, but he had never seen someone looking at him like that.
taehyung let a breath out, that he didn't know he was holding, when jeongguk didn't stop in front of him, but passed him and sat down on the stool in front of the piano.
taehyung turned around when he could listen to the first accord that jeongguk played.
and he played good, so good, taehyung was surprised. even more was he surprised that jeongguk played such a soft and melancholic melody.
almost automatically, taehyung closes his eyes and sways to the music. jeongguk looked up to the smaller and his lips curled slightly up by the adorable view. taehyung noticed the melody getting sloppier, some notes getting played wrong and he opens his eyes, finding jeongguk looking at him, his hands just moving on their own.
until they completely stop moving and silence filled the room.
in this moment, both didn't know what they were feeling, what is going on inside of them. it was just them playing the piano— why are their hearts having a heart attack themselves?
"what are you doing here?" jeongguk after sometime managed to ask, taehyung stirred.
"i accidentally found this room and wanted to stay here." taehyung mumbles, looking down. he didn't know why he looked down, when he promised himself to not appear weak in front of jeongguk.
jeongguk sighed. "you shouldn't have come to this room." he says, doesn't get up though.
taehyung scoffed. "my condition— freedom. if i'm being held as a captive here, than i can go to every room i want." the blonde crosses his arms and normally, jeongguk would fumble in anger.
but he was only amused and even a chuckle left his lips, making taehyung look at him bewildered. "you are a good pianist." jeongguk suddenly said and taehyung tried to not seemed faced by the compliment, but his cheeks heated up.
"thanks, you too. never expected this from you." taehyung said back and gazed over the keys of the piano.
"i didn't know i could play either." he whispered and taehyung raised a confused eyebrow.
"c'mon stop lying, you must have taken lessons or something like that, you played amazing." taehyung scoffed.
jeongguk chuckled again. "i never played the piano myself, but i always loved to listen to piano plays. i had a person in my life that always used to play the piano and i always listened to her melodies. the one i played was my favorite." he sighed.
taehyung loosened his arms. "you learned the piano by watching?"
"mhh, guess so."
"that's amazing."
it felt good, having a normal conversation with the mafia boss was kind of making taehyung all giddy inside. he thought he would hate him forever, but even though he wants too, after seeing jeongguk like that, he doesn't know if he can.
"where is she now?" he asked softly and jeongguk bit his lip, hands turning to fists. "don't wanna talk about it." he simply says, because who is taehyung to get to know his past and secrets?
"i'm sorry." taehyung mumbled.
"it's okay." jeongguk said and taehyung looked at him with wide eyes. the jeongguk he knows, the one that threatened him with a gun, has accepted an apology, without trying to kill him?
"i will go to my room, don't disturb or annoy me."
oh, he's back.
however, when jeongguk wanted to pass taehyung, the smaller grabbed his wrist and jeongguk halted by the touch. both males could feel a strong change of emotion inside of them.
their eyes locked and taehyung was the first to look down. he looks at jeongguk's hand, caressing it with his thumb. "let me take care of your wounds jeon."
author
HAPPY BIRTHDAY clicheismybae ❤️❤️
WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.