bakugous pov
"todoroki you're a dumbass" i say with a sad smile
i leave the locker room and head to my dorm. classes are over with for today and i want to get started on my homework. i lied. i don't want to get started on my homework i just want a distraction. there's so much shit going on in my head right now that if i just let my mind go wild it wouldn't be pretty. homework keeps me distracted enough and usually once i've finished it it's time for bed.
i unlock my dorm door and enter it. i slam it shut for no reason in particular other than because i can and throw my bookbag on my bed. i have a perfectly good desk i could do my homework at but i always start off by doing my homework in my bed. at some point i end up moving to my desk. i've always done this. i start in the bed, move to the desk, and then go to sleep.
i go to change out of my uniform. i swap out my button up shirt, pants, and binder for a bra, giant hoodie and some spandex shorts. this is usually my go to out fit for when i can't bind anymore. i don't leave my room when i can't bind for obvious reasons. no one finds it unusual for me to not leave my room for long periods of time because of the way i act around them. this usually works out for me but i guess not this time.
in the middle of doing the homework rocklock gave us for ap calc i hear yelling. it's pretty usual to hear yelling in the dorms since we do live with spark plug and shitty hair but this time it didn't sound like them. i cant recognize the voices. it doesn't sound like they're just yelling. fuck i think they're actually fighting out there.
i don't know what to do. someone else will stop whoever's fighting right? i don't need to go out there. it doesn't involve me so i don't need to go out there. i decide to just drown out the fighting the way i used to when i was at home. i grab my air pods and play my edm playlist at 75% volume. i then go to my laptop and play my metal playlist at the same volume. this always worked to drown out any type of yelling or people being loud.
i go back to trying to figure out the problem i was working on. i struggle with it for a while until i finally figure it out. i feel pretty dumb after figuring it out because the answer was actually really obvious and i was looking way too deep into the problem. i move onto the next problem. as i'm writting the problem number i feel a hand touch my shoulder. instinctively i flinch away from the hand and turn around to see who it is. it's spark plug.
"what the fuck dude"
"sorry but uh you need to come to the commons"
i just stare at him. did i forget to lock my door? did he pick the lock? why the fuck do i need to go to the commons? the last time he said some shit like that it was because kirishima and sero had been playing mario kart for 17 hours and sparky was upset that they wouldn't let him play. they claimed they needed to figure out who was the better of the two so that sparky could play the winner but i really didn't give a shit.
"bro it really is an emergency this time i'm not kidding. it's todoroki and midori-wait the fuck is that?"
"the fuck is what?"
he points across the room at my binder and then looks back at me. except he wasn't looking at me. he was looking further down than my face.
fuck. was i going to have to come out to him like this? i didn't even want to come out to anyone ever. i just wanted to pretend that nothing was ever wrong with my body to begin with and that i was born a cis male. that's what i want everyone who meets me to think and i've been pretty good at hiding it and i can't believe my dumbass let myself get found out. he's gonna tell everyone. he always tells people everything. the pros are gonna find out. i'm gonna have to drop out of ua. no way will they let me continue training here. i'm gonna lose everything i've worked for all because i didn't fucking lock my door.
i tear up after realizing that my life is pretty much over at this point.
"never mind that's not really important you just need to come with me , like now" sparky says as he grabs my wrists and pulls me up from my bed. i try to get his hand off of my wrist but his grip is too strong. why the fuck is he so strong? he needs to stop training with tape face so much.
he drags me into the commons and finally let's go of my wrist once we arrive. the scene in front of me is fucking...just...what the fuck?
todoroki is on the ground and looks like he's about to fucking die. he might actually because midoriya is on top of him choking the life out of him. i'd be jealous if roki wasn't literally about to die. with midoriyas quirk todoroki won't last long like this. why the fuck are they fighting?
i rush over to the pair and grab midoriyas wrists and try to pull them from off of todorokis throat.
"midoriya what the fuck let go" i yell while now trying to push midoriya off of todoroki
"kacchan go back to your room" midoriya says while standing up
i'm glad he stopped choking him but he doesn't look like he's gonna stop fighting him. he has this look in his eye. he was out for blood.
"what the fuck are you doing izuku? do you even realize what you've done? you're literally fighting one of your classmates in the middle of the fucking commons and it's probably over some dumb shit that isn't worth either of you getting in trouble or getting hurt over" i yell at him
"it's not about something stupid kacchan"
"midoriya i don't care what it's about just stop it"
"katsuki you might care to know what it's about actually" todoroki says
he's sitting up now trying to get his breathing back to normal after being deprived of air.
"todoroki i couldn't give two shits-"
"it's about what happened in the locker room today suki"
"oh" i say. it comes out quieter than i mean for it to
"wait, midoriya...why the fuck were you mad at todoroki for what happened when he didn't do anything wrong and was actually helpful? you weren't even there how did you find out?"
"i was the one who told him bakugou, my apologies" glasses says.
i hadn't noticed that by now almost all of the class was in the commons watching the past scene unfold. i was suddenly aware of the fact that they could all see me. not the me that i usually let them see but the raw me.
i didn't want to come out like this. maybe if i don't say anything about it then no one else will.
"it's cool or whatever glasses" i say with a sigh
i look at todorki who's gotten up to his feet now.
"kacchan i didn't know that it wasn't his fault. everything lately has been his fault so i just assumed."
"stop assuming shit then. you literally are so fucking smart so how come you're acting like fucking spark plug right now?"
out of the corner of my eye i could see spark plug's expression turn into a confused one. he was probably trying to figure out if he should be offended or not. shitty hair puts a comforting hand on his shoulder while raccoon eyes is trying to hold in her laughter. tape face didn't even try to hold in his laughter.dumbasses
"kacchan i-"
"midoriya listen, if you're gonna try to kill anyone then it should be literally any other boy in our class besides me. you know i wouldn't do anything to deliberately hurt katsuki."
"are you fucking sure about that todoroki?"
todoroki looked confused by midoriyas words. did he not know he hurt me? did he not know how he hurt me?
"midoriya what are you talking about? when did i hurt bakugou?"
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HE BROKE UP WITH YOU?" midoriya screams at todoroki
everyone was stunned by his sudden outburst. kirishima looked like he was about to say something but ojiro beat him to it.
"is it even possible to hurt bakugou?"
everyone turned to look at ojiro, surprised by his words.
"i mean it's bakugou we're talking about here. meanass bakugou who makes fun of everyone all the time and doesn't give a shit about anyone besides himself. he's almost worse than shinsou to be honest so why are y'all fighting about who hurt bakugou when that's literally impossible."
midoriya cocks his head to the side
"the fuck did you just say?"
he walks past me and todoroki over to ojiro. he stops infront of ojiro, centimeters away from his face.
"i think i said it clear enough midoriya"
"hey bros calm down" kirishima says stepping in between the two of them
"what are y'all all yelling abou- woahh bakugou when'd you get those tits" mineta says as he walks into the room. he was one of the few people who hadn't came to see what was going down in the commons.
all of a sudden all eyes we're on me. i could feel everyone looking at me. looking through me. why the fuck did i put on a bra? it just makes me look even more like a girl and it's now obvious to the rest of the class thanks to minetas words.
my chest felt tight and i couldn't breathe. no matter how hard i tried i couldn't get my breathe to come out right. i tried to think about how to retort back to mineta but i couldn't. i couldn't fucking think. i couldn't feel my body anymore.
my legs gave out from under me and i fell to the ground. i could see todoroki infront of me but i couldn't hear him. there was a pounding in my head that wouldn't let me hear anything other than the harsh thoughts going through my head at the moment. they all kept coming and they came fast. it was like a rapid attack of so many negative thoughts.
why did i think i could keep this a secret from everyone? why did i think i could be a hero like this? why do i do this to myself? why couldn't i just have been okay with the gender i was given at birth? why did i have to feel like this?