excuse all mistakes
not proofread
Devotion
It's been a few weeks since D'Nyah's been in the hospital. At first, she was making progress and looking towards getting out soon. But now, things aren't that good. Her heart rate went back down and she's been very tired lately. They asked Xay would he give more blood but he said no.
Everyone thinks that it's because he's being bitter but it's not. Every since that day that D'Nyah basically kicked him out with her emotions, he's been messed up.
When he went down Asia's house, he quickly changed his mind realizing that doing what he was going to do wouldn't make anything better. So he left. He started drinking lean and popping Percocets with liquor, and lacing his weed because he felt like he had no purpose and that since everybody's mad at him now he has no purpose to be here.
That's the reason why he doesn't want to give her any of his blood because he thinks it might affect her. He really wants to do better but he feel like he can't. He doesn't have the motivation anymore. The little motivation he had doesn't care for him anymore.
He sat in his car going to the only place where he genuinely felt safe and secured.
Xa'vvyon Kortez Franklin
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I pulled up to the graveyard adjudicating on whether or not this was the right decision. I haven't been here in some months and i'm starting to regret it.
As I got out the car, memories of the last time I saw my sister started to cloud my memories.
*Flashback*
"Xay quittt." his big sister Xa'Riel whined as 17 year old Xay tried to pull her hoodie off of her.
"Let the fucking hoodie go Xa i'm not playing." He straight faced her.
"Mmcht." she let the hoodie go and removed it showing all the bruises on her neck, arms, and stomach. "Xa'Riel what the fuck ?!?." He yelled examining all the bruises.
"They- they're just hickies. Owww !!" She yelled as he touched one.
"That's not a damn hickey man stop playing wimme." He said calmly as she stood there with tears in her eyes.
"I- I can't Xay I can't." His sister broke down in his arms. "It's aight. I gotchu." He rubbed her back as they walked to the sofa.
"I can't go through this much longer Xay. It- it hurts." She sobbed.
"You not finna give up on me. You not finna give up on Xai. She just one. She needs you." He said thinking about his niece Xailey.
"She doesn't deserve me. I- i'm a mess. Every time i look at her it reminds me of when he raped me. I can't take care of her Xay I can't." She choked out thinking about what her dad did to her.
"She can stay wimme until you get back on your feet. But you not finna give up. We already lost our mama. I can't loose you too." His eyes watered.
"I can't Xay. I'm sorry." She sobbed and pulled a gun out of her pants.
"Xa. Put the gun down man. I swear we gon get that bitch ass nigga Markese just put the gun down." Tears streamed down his face.
"I love you Xay. I love you and Xai. Please ma-make sure she doesn't forget about me." His sister sobbed as her and Xay fought for the gun.
She was only one year older than him but had already been through alot. They both had, but she had it worse. Xay always tried to help her. He signed her up for therapy, moved her out of the state, but she always came back.
"Xa let it go-" He was cut off by a gunshot.
Everything started moving in slow motion as he watched his sister's body fall on top of him.
"No !!" He cried. The second to the last thing that kept him from doing things that he would regret was gone. "Why would you do that !!" He cried shaking her body hoping to get some kind of response.
He knew he wouldn't be the same after this.
*Flashback Over*
I quickly wiped my tears and walked over to the tombstone that read "Xa'Riel Kortai Franklin. Always In Our Hearts." and put a blanket right there figuring that I was going to be here for hours.
"Hey bitch." I chuckled propping a pillow up on the side of the tombstone laying on the blanket looking up at the sky.
"I miss you so much man. It's really been hard without you forreal." I took a deep breath to stop me from crying.
"Xai talks about you alot." I smiled a little. "She said she wants to meet you but she doesn't understand what's going on yet."
"She finna be three next month so that's good. And she's real smart. She got that from me." I popped my invisible collar.
I took another deep breath before I started talking again. "I fucked up man. I fucked up. Ain got nobody to lean on no more." Tears clouded my vision. "I fucked up my one chance at possibly having true love. Ma kicked me out when she found I was on the stuff that i'm on. The gang don't fuck wimme no more. I'm just alone in this situation." I tried to stop tears from streaming down my face but they wouldn't and my chest got tight.
"I just wanna come up there with you. I don't care if it's just to visit. I just wanna close my eyes then open them and have everything that I've ever wanted."
"I wonder if I just put an end to everyone's stress and ended it all right now would they care." I mumbled then dirt and rocks started flying everywhere and they wind got stronger.
"I wish you could come back but I know you can't." I sat up. "I know I promised you that I would do better but I just can't."
"I'm sorry I failed you. I could've tried harder to get that gun out your hand." I sat there and cried knowing that I would regret it.
I heard my phone constantly vibrating so I powered it off. Once I got myself together I stood up and said "I love you sis."
I got back in my car, grabbed 2 mollies and took it with my lean since I din have no Hennessy around. I grabbed a blunt and started smoking and drinking my lean.
I downed the last lil bit of it and just sat there.
"Mmcht man fuck that bitch. Her dumbass shouldn't have ran away in the first fucking place." My inner thoughts said.
"Kill yourself. Just drink a lil bit more and you'll be out." Another voice in my head said.
"Your sister is dead because of you. D'Nyah is damn near dead because of you. Your niece is motherless and fatherless because of you." The last thought said before I just closed my eyes.
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*Knock....Knock....Knock*
I slowly opened my eyes hearing someone knocking slowly and loudly on my window.
Everything was blurry and fuzzy so I really couldn't see. It's like the world was going in slow motion. I groaned and held my head as I rolled down the window.
Once it was rolled down all the way I saw a mad looking Tai. He was about to punch me or slap me u until he noticed how out of it that I looked.
"Yo what the fuck is you on my nigga ?! It's been 3 and a half weeks and you still ain't gave D'Nyah no blood let alone came to see her- what the fuck is you on my nigga ?!?" He yelled making me groan. "Can you stop yelling ?"
"Yo breath smell like lean. Xay don't tell me you back on-"
"You don't care anyways so back the fuck up." I slurred cutting him off trying to roll my window back up.
"Get out the car bro." He blankly stared at me. "Mmcht gone boutcho business Tai i'm not tryna do this right now." I mugged him.
"Ain gon say it again my nigga. Get the fuck out the car." He opened my door.
I slowly got out feeling dizzy and almost falling but I kept my balance. I closed the door and slowly walked over to the graveyard sign and waited for him to come over there.
"Imma ask you one time. What the fuck is yo problem folks." He closed his eyes
"Fuck you. Ain got no fuckimg problem." I said as I kept myself from falling. "Aight." He nodded his head, jacked up his pants, walked over to me and punched me.
Since I was still out of it so I saw three of him at once and I just punched one. "Nah you wanna be billybadass and shit. Hit me nigga !!" He yelled tackling me to the ground making me fall on someone's grave and I groaned in pain.
"Get the fuck up and hit me nigga." He punched me as I laid there. Once I got myself together I stood up holding my back and I actually punched him this time.
(a/n y'all he can fight he just not his self right now 😭.)
He still wasn't letting up though. He kept punching me and slapping me until I couldn't take more and I fell. I felt like I was finna die right then a there.
"Where ya car key at folks ?" He asked making me get them out my pocket and attempt to throw them.
I feel weak as fuck.
"You can come back and getcho car tomorrow. Get in and don't say shit to me." He locked my car doors and rolled up my window as I got in his car.
"Sucks to be the father of the group." He mumbled turning the music up as I closed my eyes.
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fuck y'all. run me my votes.