Zayn waited until everyone had gone to bed and went down to the gym. The fluorescent overhead lights already soothing an ounce of tension from him. Not a single hotel guest was around as he made a straight line for the punching bag, and began taping up his hands in the corner of the room.
Working out always soothed him. And he never needed it more than he did at that moment.
He wrapped the tape carefully around his bare hands for the perfect fit. Flexing his taped hands to make sure the binding was not too tight or loose. He started slowly, with a one-two rhythm his muscles warmed in his arms, legs and stomach as he landed rapid blows to the bag.
There was no way around what he learned. It wasn't just the photos or Colin's story that proved Hope's identity. Her blood type matched Lily's.
Hope was a married woman. Her true name, Lily.
His right hook caught the bag and sent it soaring high into the air before swinging back down.
His beautiful Hope.
She was a drug to him. Once he'd gotten a taste, he craved her with every fiber of his being. The way she looked at him with innocence and desire.
But he could not have her if it was all true.
His gut clenched.
Hitting the bag harder in rapid succession, each pounding with has fists were deeply satisfying, easing the thoughts on his mind.
Zayn shoved all his anger and energy into his punches, the slick of sweat beating down his face. Each thud pounded, echoed in his ears until all thoughts of Hope and Colin were pushed from his mind and all he saw the red blur of the bag swinging with each of his hits.
It was a good part of an hour before he began pulling the tape off. Grabbing a towel to wipe up the sweat from his face, his shirt and shorts were plastered to his body. Snatching a water from the mini-fridge, he drowned the entire thing. Crumpling the plastic bottle in the palm of his hand, he sat heavily on a nearby bench and sighed loudly, peering over at the punching bag.
He could probably work the bag for at least another couple of hours.
He had enough rage in him to last him the entire night.
An image flashed through his mind of Colin and Hope, together under one roof, sharing a bed, touching her soft body. . .
His mind blackened with rage. His jaw flexed hard and he glared burning daggers of hate at the picture in his mind.
His control was slipping faster than he could catch it.
Feeling a shaking in his arm, Zayn looked down, his hand turned into a tight, white-knuckled fist.
All his life he'd gotten everything his heart desired. Never had he come across any obstacle's. Never had any problems. His life was always structured.
For the first time in his life he had no idea what the hell to do.
It truly was a year of many firsts.
However, this was not the ending he was expecting. There was an important first in his life he did not want to end.
*****
The next morning Sammy sat on the sofa, hands twisted nervously in his lap. When she walked in, he immediately stood, a look of pity in his eyes.
"Girl, I'm gonna miss our shopping extravaganzas." He said in a high pitched lisp.
Hope smiled. "Is that all you'll miss Sammy?"
"Someone got to stop cutting onions up in this joint."
He sniffles.
Hope's heart swelled in her chest. She loved Sammy as if he were a brother. She would miss him so much.
"I don't want you to go." He admitted, his eyes sad.
"I don't want to go either." She whispered, coming to sit beside him and clasping his hands. "Thank you for everything. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without your guidance."
Hope's eyes were hot with unshed tears.
"You were the highlight of my stay, honey. My real life pretty woman. I'm so proud of you."
A lone tear runs down Sammy's cheek and he sniffles again.
"Oh Sammy." She bit her lip until it hurt, once the tears started running down her face they wouldn't stop.
He heard the ragged breath of the sob she fought to steady. Slowly he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she hid her face in the hollow of his neck.
She cried harder at his sweetness, closing her eyes.
"Damn them onions." He muttered. "You'll be fine. Just know your worth, baby." Patting her shoulder. "Never give people discounts no matter who they are."
"I won't." She assured him.
"I packed all your things for you in the Louis Vuitton luggage." He announced, changing the subject quickly.
"Those are mine?" She asked in bewilderment, lifting her head. Hope assumed they were Sammy's new luggage stacked like boxes against the wall in their shared room.
"I contacted the boutique last night. I'm one of their VIP customers." He shrugs. "They had them ready and delivered this morning. I went to work on making sure every item you pull out is wrinkle free. Designer needs to be packed in designer."
"Thank you, Sammy." She said with all the sincerity in her heart. "What would I have done without you?"
"Honesty, I didn't expect a husband so soon in the equation. I should have been packing for your honeymoon with Zayn, not this guy, a husband we never knew existed."
Hope blushes.
"All I wanted was my life back but I never envisioned it this way." She admitted.
The guilt growing inside her consumed her. She was still figuring out if it was because of Zayn or Colin.
"Yeah, I know what ya mean. I wanted my Chanel bag and I found a lover instead. But hey, I ain't complaining."
Hope smiles. "I wish you a lifetime of happiness, Sammy. You deserve it."
"Amen Babydoll. . .Look I'm gonna give you one last bit of advice since you're a married woman. Camelia and Jasmine apply this motto in their everyday lives. It works like a charm. . .Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty. Its the antidote to a happy long marriage."
Hope gasped.
"Sammy! I'm not going to jump into bed with the man! I hardly know him!"
"Well the question marks in my head about you proves one thing I'd been dying to figure out."
"What's that?" Eying him cautiously.
"You're no virgin, honey. Not down there or up here." Pointing to her eras. "You gotta stop reacting like a virgin whenever you hear something naughty. You're an experienced woman! Embrace it! Be confident!"
"Sammy, I cannot remember my past." She explained. "I do not know what happened between us behind closed doors nor what Colin and I meant to each other. There's a lot for me to learn. My experienced self back then may be a different person today. I'm learning and evolving. Some things cannot be rushed." She shrugged.
"Well whatever it is, he better rock your world or he ain't worthy of you."
Hope could not imagine laying beside Colin or have him touch her intimately for that matter. He was practically a stranger.
"Zayn never uncovered anything incriminating or questionable about Colin or his story. So far the odds and facts are in Colin's favor. What kind of person would I be to turn my back on a husband, if in all intents and purposes he is and everything he said was true? I believe I'm a loyal person. I cannot live with myself knowing there's a past I ignored. I must give him a chance."
"Yeah but I was shooting for you and Zayn. . . I hate it when I'm wrong and let me tell you girlfriend, it's a rare thing too." He said, giving her a pointed look.
*****
With crumbling poise, Hope decided to retreat to her bedroom, with the work laptop in hand to complete the remainder of the notes, meetings and files before she had to leave. It took her well over three hours to submit and email everything to Zayn and Daniel.
There was one final thing she had to do.
Dread settled in her gut. This was the moment she dreaded above all others. Hope took a deep breath and released it before she finished up and logging out of the system.
Closing the laptop, she sighed miserably and glanced at her watch. All alone now she was left with her thoughts. Saying her goodbyes to Sammy was excruciating. Saying goodbye to Zayn was going to kill her and she was not in the least prepared for that time to come. It was nearing.
Tears rose to her eyes, and she wiped them away fiercely.
She didn't want to leave him. And yet she didn't belong with him either. However, that didn't mean she wouldn't cherish every moment they shared. Every memory would be engraved in her brain for as long as she lived.
Her eyes were still red-rimmed from crying. The sun streaming through the window seemed like an offense as she looked around the room.
The penthouse was a place of home for her. The bed she slept in. The en-suite bathroom she used. All the things she was accustomed to will cease to exist.
She had never felt safer.
Hope picked up a book she bought from a book store that had been laying by the nightstand on her side of the bed and waited for Zayn's arrival.
It was a romance novel. The title had caught her attention when she passed a window of a bookstore during Sammy's shopping sprees.
It was titled, His.
In addition to the blurb and the title, the cover was attractive. However, she could never concentrate on the love story and barely made it past the prologue because all her thoughts were overwhelmed by Zayn. She would find herself reading the same paragraph over and over.
Hope heard a his footsteps as he approached her room.
She looked up from her book, her heart fluttering, as it always did at the masculine beauty of his face. She saw the shadows beneath his eyes, the tightness of his shoulders. His fierce blue eyes looked tired. Sad even.
Hope's heart broke. Her chest felt so tight she could hardly breathe.
Zayn gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. No words were needed for her to understand him.
He hadn't found anything incriminating.
Hope nodded unhappily. She had prayed desperately he would find a valid clue, a reason, anything. But she feared the worst. He hadn't.
A huge lump rose in her throat.
Without a word, she came up to him and wrapped her arms around his body, pressing her cheek against his chest until she felt his tension slowly relax into her embrace.
"Take care of yourself." He said in a low voice.
Her eyes glistened with tears. "I don't want to go." She said in a small voice.
For the first time she'd entered his world, his life, it was the first time she was truly honest with him. She did not want to go.
Leaving him was like a stab to the heart.
Hope could hardly breathe through the pain. It wasn't supposed to end this way. This was not how she wanted her story to end.
"You're going to be alright." He said, his voice rough with emotion.
Zayn had changed her completely. Had shown her what it was like to live and trust again. He forced her to creep out of the protective shell she created and grow into her true potential.
Despite the wrapped in his arms and the warmth of him, she felt chilled to the bone. They stood, bodies molded together, but there was a deep, wide ocean between them.
The tears spilled over her lashes coating the front of his shirt. As hard as she tried to keep them at bay they kept flowing, an ache filling her throat.
For the first time in her short life she had been happy. Felt joy and freedom. Comfort. All of it was snatched away cruelly. The future looked different than what she envisioned.
It was now time to face reality.
"Do I really have to go?" She asked pulling back to look into his face. His tortured expression swam in and out of her vision.
She held her breath, as if waiting for a verdict of her life or death.
Still holding on to hope that somehow he'd find something, anything questionable in Colin's story. She had been waiting desperately, praying for it.
Zayn went still, feeling something hard and tight in his chest, something he could not, would not, put a name to.
He looked down at her face, his heart starting to pound painfully. Slowly, Zayn lifted his hand to stroke the softness of her hair. Her eyes seemed haunted, tortured.
God, he thought. He cared for this woman. She was pure at heart with a bright soul. Never in his life had he felt the need to protect and shelter anyone to the extent he'd done for her. When he looked at her his heart twisted.
He wanted to show her the world. Wanted to spend his days and nights with only her.
But she was someone else's. Not his.
He cupped her face in his hands and examined her tear-streaked cheeks. Gently he used the pads of his thumbs to wipe away the moisture from her cheeks.
"You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, Hope. But I need to tell you I had a thorough investigation done on him and you, and it checked out. All the information he provided was accurate. You are his wife. A wife he believed was deceased."
"God, I had prayed it wasn't true."
"I prayed too." Zayn admitted. "As much as it pains me to say this, you must give him a chance. It's the right thing to do. Had I found a single detail out of place I would not be encouraging this. It would be unfair of me to stand in the way. . . ." He could no longer continue, shaking his head.
The shimmer of tears resuming in her eyes at his sad words.
"Don't cry."
Her cheeks were petal soft beneath his fingers as he stroked the last of the moisture.
"However, it does not mean I will stop digging deeper. The second I find any information that threatens your happiness with him, I will personally notify you."
She looked at him, her eyes shimmering blue and full of questions.
And full of need.
Zayn did not know how to answer the questions but he understood the need. The hunger. It was the same hunger that had been gnawing at him for weeks. Or maybe it was all his life. It was a hunger he couldn't define. There was only one person who would satisfy it.
"Hope." He whispered achingly and his thumb leisurely caressed the full curve of her mouth.
Hope leaped alive in her heart, and unbearable, immediate desire. She knew that note of longing in his voice when he called her name.
Her soft lips trembled. He closed his eyes.
Slowly, deliberately, Zayn lowered his head as his mouth sought hers. Her eyelids drifted closed and her arms reached up and clung to him. The kiss was of hunger and demand as his mouth feasted on hers. Her lips parted as he deepened the kiss.
She returned his embrace, hungrily and it was the best kiss of her life.
He ran his hands down her back, over her loose shirt, he felt the press of her breasts against his muscled chest. Her hair now tumbled down her back in waves, tangling in his fingers. Holding her body tightly against his own, he flicked her mouth lightly with his tongue, guiding her lips.
With a sigh of pleasure, she leaned towards him, her arms tightening around his shoulders.
The feel of him, the touch, the taste of his lips filled her senses. He brought her to him so tightly she could no longer breathe. Not that she cared.
She needed this. Needed him.
His kiss became more urgent, feeling the lust, the desperation radiating from him. Her head spun as his hands moved over her in a caress that caused her to tremble everywhere.
Gradually the kiss mellowed and the intensity eased until he buried his face in the gentle slope of her neck. His lips were on her neck, his tension almost palpable. He kissed her rapid beating pulse.
Tenderly he reached up and wiped the moistures from her face. "I shouldn't have let this happen. You're a married woman."
His eyes seemed haunted, tortured, dark as the midnight sea. He cared for her deeply. She could feel it. She could see it.
She cupped his cheek. He put his hand over hers, then pressed his lips to her palm in a lingering kiss so passionate, her soul thrilled inside her body.
Hope shook her head. "It's alright Zayn. No matter if a piece of paper legally binds him and I. In my heart and soul he is nothing. And that's what matters. No harm done." She said trying to make him feel no guilt for what transpired between them.
No harm done at all unless she counted the fact that she was desperately falling more and more in love with him.
Perhaps under normal circumstances, they might have made something special out of their connection. But their circumstances were far from normal. Their time spent together had simply grown the desire they felt for one another. It was their very own expression of whatever they shared before they parted.
It may very well be the only chance they had. They had this moment to cherish before the harsh reality they faced came crashing back.
Reluctantly they broke apart, but his hands rested on either side of her neck as though he couldn't bear to let her go completely.
Zayn's eyes zeroed on her lips, his thumb brushing back and forth over her lower lip.
"I have always wondered about the tattoo inside the bottom of your lip. It must have been painful."
Hope's eyes went wide in surprise as she touched her lips. Of course he noticed the two initials tattooed inside her lip when they kissed. They were there when she woke up for the first time at the hospital. She had no clue why or how they got there.
"I do not remember getting them." She replied in embarrassment.
"I think it's sexy." He murmured. "It's hard to make out the initials but every time I kiss you I see them and wonder."
It would forever be a mystery just like the rest of her.
"Thank you for everything you have done for me." She said in a raw voice. "I will forever be grateful for you and in your debt for eternity."
"You don't owe me a thing. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat."
His hands were unconsciously squeezing her shoulders and Hope could feel that protective need rolling off of him in waves, like all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and never let her go.
And he did.
His hand wrapped around the back of her head as he cradled her against his chest. Hope committed this moment to memory, relishing in the feel of him.
"I'm so proud of you, Hope. You've come a long way. You've overcome so many obstacles life has thrown at you. I know you are strong. I want you to continue being the brave young woman you are. You can do anything." Zayn tells her against her hair.
He made it so easy to forget everything as he caressed her face and hair. Tears burned her eyes again. This was it. This is all she could have of him.
"Hope?"
She lifted her eyes to him and forced a smile. "I'm fine Zayn." Running her hands over his face, trying to memorize every detail of him before they separated. Savoring the joy of the moment and never wanting it to end.
"You've captivated me." He murmured, his eyes roaming all over her face, as if memorizing every single feature. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And will ever know."
Hope's smile wasn't so forced at the endearing compliment. She felt beautiful when he looked at her the way he was doing right now. As if she were the only woman in the world to him. Someone beyond special.
She never wanted this moment to end. She wished she could freeze time.
No matter what happened, where she went, she would engrave this moment in her brain for the rest of her life.
I will never forget you, her heart cried.
She bit her lip until it hurt, rather than tell him she loved him. Instead a ragged breath of the sob she fought to steady erupted into silent weeping once more. Slowly he lowered his face to hers and kissed her tears. He cupped her head and kissed her cheeks, her brow.
She cried harder at his sweetness.
When he kissed her throat, she closed her eyes and wanted to die.
"Zayn, I must share something with you before I go."
She needed to say it before she lost the courage.
He stroked her hair, his eyes, on hers, were warm.
She stared at him, agony and heartbreak in her red-rimmed eyes.
His eyes, she thought, always managed to take her breath away. What she was about to tell him may very well be the deal breaker.
"You can tell me anything."
Hope felt sick. Beyond sick.
Her heart hammered as uncertainty and fear of the unknown claimed her. She didn't know what was going to happen, or what he would say but she just knew. . .
Even if she never saw him again, Hope knew she would never love anyone. . . The way she loved Zayn St. James.
_________________________________________________________________
Thanks for reading! Next week, Colin and Hope pick up where they left off before the accident.
Loved reading all your comments on the last chapter!
Please vote, comment and share with other.
Until next Friday.
-Shaz