Chapter Twenty-Five
"The water's fairly warm here," Aziel noted, dipping a hand in the pond.
We'd walked a fair distance to get where we were: a small outcropping in the middle of the woods with a stone island in the middle. It was small...cute...private...
"Perfect..." I breathed out, eyes widening as I took in the view. I could hear birds singing-truly singing. Free, undiluted songs of beauty and love, high and low. The wind rustled through my hair, blowing it back with the breeze.
"Dip your toes in," Aziel urged me lightly, motioning for me to come by his side at the pond. I felt hesitant. It was muddy out, and my shoes would get dirty. "Romina." He sent me a stern look.
I shook off my thoughts and stepped forward, daintily sliding the slipper from my foot. I dipped a bare toe in the water. It was warm...not as warm as the baths I was normally used to. To me, it actually seemed quite cold.
I quickly retracted my foot. "This was a bad idea."
Before I could turn and run away, Aziel caught my arm in a firm grip. I stopped, looking back at him pleadingly.
"Aziel."
"Either you take off your dress now, or you'll be walking back wet."
"Aziel-"
"You need to stop caring so much, Romina. It's always about what your parents want. But what about what you want?" His stare was intense...burning, really. Even my toe, wet from the pond water, seemed to heat under his stare.
"It's cold." I whined.
"So?" He tugged his blazer off his head, leaving him in a white shirt and his pants. "I'll keep you warm."
I'm afraid you've already made me warm, Aziel.
Next came his shirt.
I was trying really hard not to stare at him. Really hard. I knew he could see the furious blush on my cheeks, and I knew he could see how badly my eyes were imprinting themselves on his smooth chest.
"Would your father like this?" Aziel asked, tossing his clothes onto a patch of clean grass to the side.
"What? No-"
"Exactly." His pants dropped.
"Aziel, I'm not sure-"
"You want to learn how to treat a man, right, Romina?" He kicked his pants aside, leaving his shoes along with them.
"Yes?"
"Well, you can start by listening to them." He was scowling when I looked back at him. "I said undress, Romina. So you will undress."
"It's not proper."
"We were never proper." He stepped closer, fingers brushing across my neckline. My chest rose as I sucked in a breath. Bumps popped up all along my skin.
No, I guess we never were.
"I don't want my husband to turn me away because I'm impure," I admitted quietly.
"Purity doesn't even exist, Romina." Aziel said. "You've done nothing wrong."
Yet.
"I just...I don't understand." I bit my lip. "Why do you want me?"
"Does that really matter?"
Yes, oh lord, it matters too much. If you want me for my body, what's that to say about my personality? And if you want me for my personality, what's that to say about my body?
"Romina, look at me."
I didn't. I couldn't. It was too much. This was too much.
"Look at me."
It wasn't worth it. He was risking everything. He was risking himself, he was risking me.
"Fucking look at me."
"Stop!" I exclaimed, eyes closed. He did. I liked that about him. He respected when I told him to stop, at least. The only problem is that I didn't know when to stop myself. And then we indulged. And then we ruined. And then we collapsed. "You...you tell me these things, Aziel! Things I never wanted to do before. I'm scared, you know?" I felt a tear slip from my eye. "I can't trust myself with you, no matter how much I want to. You're bad for me and I don't know why!"
"It's new, it's unknown. It's alright to be scared, Romina." He replied gently, voice lowered. It was such a sweet tune, such a well aimed blow at my heart. He was playing with me. I was a game to him, wasn't I? Once he had what he wanted, he'd leave. And I'd be alone again. Alone with less than I started with.
"You said you're not human, and sometimes you really act like it, dammit!" I opened my eyes. The beautiful landscape around me was blurred into muted blobs of blue and green. I hit his bare chest with my fists, ignoring the sharp pain in my hand.
"Romina-your hand-"
"Stop caring! You don't care!" I yelled, rearing back for another hit. Before I made contact, his hand caught my blow, stopping me. This only made me cry harder. "I don't want this! I don't want what Father wants, I don't want what Mother wants. All I know is that I want something I shouldn't!"
I was raging. I'd never done this before-to rant, to exhaust, to express. It was as freeing as it was terrifying. I felt like I was burning in shame, but my ashes rose with the smoke, and I flew along the skies with the clouds. It was this undisputed anger, this thing I'd never really done before, that shocked me. My feet trampled across themselves as I tried to remove myself from Aziel's hold. I fought and fought, crying, yelling, sobbing, until my foot slipped on the thin mud and I went tumbling into the pond.
Murky water enveloped me and soaked into my thick clothes. I lifted myself up, sputtering, momentarily broken from my frenzy, and stared, mouth agape, at Aziel.
And he was...he was smiling.
"You've broken free, Romina."
"Wh-"
I didn't get another word out before he dove in after me.
(a/n: penis)