The sun’s warm and bright, warming Kiera’s exposed legs Trees sway in the cold wind, but the chill doesn’t bite into her skin. Around her the world if quiet. Peaceful.
The sun peaks over the mountain like a bright eye chasing away the darkness. Warm rays of gold wash over the valleys and mountains until they are made of gold rather than ice and stone.
The shapes of birds swoop like thin black lines over the horizon. It’s while watching one of the black figures that she spots the tiny blotch of a town in the distance. The same town that took her to the shed where she found the first of the furs, and the same she passed through to get to the mountain she now sits atop.
Her eyes stay on the town but her attention drifts to the footsteps behind her.
“You’re up early”
She lifts one shoulder in a shrug. Truth is she hasn’t gone to bed all night. The night had called and she was in no position to ignore it. Lately her minds been flooded with too many thoughts for her to do much more then eat or shower; let alone sleep.
Chase lowers himself onto the metal table beside her, also sitting on the table rather than the seats below. Carefully he pulls a robe around her shoulders. She knows he knows she doesn’t sleep, but neither bring it up. For now, the small fact is too unimportant to talk about.
Right now, there are so many more important things that need to be discussed; topics haven’t been breached yet..
For a long while they say nothing.
Kiera doesn’t mind the numbness spreading through her brain, it much easier to deal with then the cold hard facts of reality.
“You know,” Chase muses weakly, “when I thought about our future….it was never like this”
She says nothing.
“It’s been nearly a week, Kiera.”
“It’s only been two days” she murmurs.
His finger play on the hem of his shirt. “…Five actually”
Her brow creases, but she doesn’t respond. Her mind should have come up with something there, but her brains been on vacation for a while-still is apparently. There’s nothing.
“Kiera, please. I know it’s hard, but closing into yourself won’t help. You need to talk to someone; you need to talk to me.”
There’s an edge to his tone she can’t understand. Still, she remains mute.
“It’s not the end of the world you know, there’s still life out there. People are still alive, there are still people who fought and lived and loved and cherished as you did, Kiera. Yes it’s sad, yes it’s okay to mourn, and yes it’s okay to push aside all the hurt for a moment; but it won’t go away.”
“I’ve never felt more like that” She mumbles absently. Chase’s words don’t register in her head. The town is still only a dark blotch on the horizon, but for a moment it is the closest thing to her. “So connected….and yet still…vacant. Why out here? Why so far away from everything else…why in the middle of nowhere? Is it better? Do they like the quiet? The loneliness?”
“What are you talking about?”
Slightly she inclines her head toward the dark blotch. It’s only a smattering of houses, all connected by thin white roads. The only thing separating the people is a few feet of snow and thin walls, but it may as well have been thousands of miles. Contents away. Even with the welcoming sun the people stay locked within the little buildings rather than explore.
Chase leans forward, squinting at the town in confusion. When he glances at Kiera, she can’t distinguish the emotion on his face. It’s so foreign. Without a word he stands up and trots away.
Somewhere deep down something prickles in her, but the feelings gone before she can address it.
Sometime later Chase returns. “I wasn’t going to give this to you…I was thinking it might…I don’t know…break you?” There’s no angry retort, so he continues. “But right now, I think-I hope- it will actually help you.”
Without any hesitation Chase holds out the skinned pelt like someone passing over a tiny baby.
The pelts dark, almost black, but where the light catches the hairs the coat turns silver.
Without thinking she reaches out to take the skinned fur. There’s no recognition until her fingers curl into the cool, fine fur.
She bites back a strangled cry and pulls the pelt to her suddenly tight chest; Chase backs away without a word as she cradles the last thing she has left of her friend. Emotions, that had for so long been locked away tight, flood out. Regret and grief rush out, but no tears fall.
For some time she just pats the fur like it’s actually real, like the owner will wake and speak and…she doesn’t know what Romy would do. Her furs nothing special, but right now it may as well be woven in silver and gold, blessed by and gods and cursed by hell. Lightning may strike her down, or fire burn her up, but she doesn’t release it.
It’s a lifeline.
Once, Kiera had thought that a pack made people invincible, that courage and fearlessness was the way to win.
If it was though, why does she feel like the biggest loser in the history?
Were others not brave enough? Were they too scared by something? Is that why so many perished?
She swears she’d seen the fire in their eyes and the fearless acts they took. And yet, here she is, and they are not. What was so special about her? What had made the difference between her living, and the next? Why did someone say, she was the one to live and not…
Romy. Oh, I miss you so much.
When Kiera glances up again she’s not surprised her eyes return to the town. The sight of it makes her chest constrict, but it’s a nice painful. Down in the recess of the streets, a lone figure wonders alone. Kiera clutches the fur tighter; making sure Romy won’t leave her again. She can almost hear her annoyed snort and the attitude leaking into her voice as she says: “Suck it up, Kiera.”
It takes a moment for Kiera to spot the next person. They appear out of nowhere, from around a hidden corner. A moment later another one appears, and another, until sit seems there are more people then houses.
Kiera blinks in confusion. Slowly, very slowly, the sadness ebbs away, replaced by something warm and yet heartbreaking. Before she witness anything more she spins around on the table.
Chase watches her warily, hands stuffed into his pockets and his hair wild and messy. For the first time she notices the bags under his eyes.
Behind him, Carter and Hunter are sitting in the snow with Corinth standing behind them shivering. Creven and Raymond are at the window, staring solemnly out-well, leaning more towards agitatedly for Raymond. Behind them more outlines of people can be seen.
“How fitting” She blurts out weakly. Slowly, prowling rather than walking, she gets of the table and crosses over to the man watching her. Her feelings seem to choke her, but they’re not bad feels. They’re…something, but certainly not bad.
“What?”
In reply she flings herself at Chase. A few weeks ago, this same stunt had accrued, only very different. At that time, Romy and Cody where by her side, and Chase has fled. This time, both her friends were gone, and Chases opens his arms to catch her.
How bitter sweet.
The tears suddenly burst free and she clings to her Chase like he’s the only living person left in the world. For the first time since the battle, she cries. Not from here lose. Not because Romy’s death, Not because of Cody’s sacrifice, Not because her mother refused to stay or Jess sought and lost. Nor for Alex’s courage and deep heartbreak that refused to leave, or because so many has fallen for the pack’s freedom.
Too many tears had already been shed over those who died. Right now, she cries, but it’s not for them. It’s for everyone else. Those who lived. For Kadar putting aside his hate to her to help, for Raymond’s grouchy remarks and comments, for Corniths eagerness and acceptance, for Carter and Hunters innocents, Creven and Eli’s rock like steadiness and support, and everyone else who had charged in to help free her and everyone else in the pack.
For a while, she doesn’t mind so much about everyone’s deaths. She’s grateful, not swamped in pity.
If she could swap her life for Romy’s, or Cody’s, her mothers, her sisters, Alex’s, Jack’s or any other person she knew, or didn’t know, she would. If her life could have saved them all, she’s personally help herself onto Deaths bed-hell, she’s even use the knife to hurry it up because Death seems so slow.
But her death won’t bring them back.
She knows that.
She squeezes Chase tight. “They wouldn’t want this, would they?”
“No” he mumbles into her hair. Briefly, his brushes his lips over her head in a kiss. His thumb rubs circles on her back.
Kiera stays for a moment longer, still holding Chase tightly, and running her hands through Romy’s pelt. When she pulls away she stares at the grey fur until she finally convinces herself it won’t disappear. Cautiously she hands the fur over to Chase who takes it without question.
For a second she doesn’t move. Eventually she drags her feet away. First she hugs the two kids, kissing each of their heads. Something must have possessed her, but she doesn’t fight it. Next she embraces Corinth, thanking her. The Revoker girl doesn’t get to reply before Kiera moves onto her next victim.
Everyone seems startled with her sudden affection, but Kiera doesn’t care. In the back of her mind, something growls this will be that last time she does anything like this, but she squishes it so it can’t ruin her suddenly good mood.
Raymond pushes her away with a grumble and glare. Creven seems astounded-she doesn’t hug back. She finds and hugs everyone that’s ever helped her- from Sadie to Travish and even Eli. When she finds Kadar he’s messy haired and playing with a bowl of something pale, sloppy and completely unappatizing.
“Kadar” She says bluntly. God, why did her voice have to sound so raw? When he glances to her she leads down to hug him despite him hardly being awake. Awkwardly he pats her back; really awkwardly.
“Ah…Why the sudden affection?”
“Thank you” She pulls away, watching him closely. It was the same look Chase had earlier. Now she realizes its concern. “I know it doesn’t mean much, but to me it does. I don’t think…”she swallows her pride reluctantly since this is too important not to say, “but I don’t think I could have done it without you….cheesy huh?”
Kadar’s grins almost bitter. “I don’t know about that. You seem to be a fighter…”
Not knowing what else to say, and feeling rather embarrassed, she backs away.
Suddenly he stands. “Wait…Kiera…I don’t think I would have helped you but…” His eyes are tortured, dark with stormy emotions. “When Dermot killed her…killed…Cody…I was so angry and…shattered. That’s the only word that seems right. You want to know the last thing she every said to me?”
She doesn’t want to know but he continues anyway.
“She looked at me head on, not even scared that she was going to die, even though she was-…she told me to help you. I don’t think anything has ever hurt me so much.” The room is quiet around them, and Kadar’s shoulders shake and tremble as if he’s going to shift. He doesn’t. “And then…when I got to you…I was so intent on killing you then. Why had you stolen her last words? Why were you the last thing she thought of?” He stalks forward.
“Why was I losing to someone like you. And when I got there…I suddenly didn’t care anymore, if she chose her last words to be of you…rather than me, then you must have done something worth them… I don’t think we’ll ever be friends…but right then, I knew I wasn’t going to kill you. Just after Cody asked me to help you? That seems wrong.”
In the end he got another hug; this one considerably less awkward. Kiera couldn’t believe he’d confessed so openly, she hadn’t expected it. “She would be proud. And from what I’ve heard, she died saving you…”she steps back to watch him carefully. “I may have gotten words, Kadar, but she didn’t lay down her life for me, even accidently. She loved you.”
When she’s finally satisfied with her thanks and pointless hugging, she returns to Chase who’s still waiting outside. No one had beaten Kadar in nearly making her cry. For someone so strong-physically and emotionally, Cody’s death really had ‘shattered’ him. He seems to slowly be putting himself together again though.
The sun’s risen even more now. More birds flitter across the cloudless sky and the air is crisp with the fresh morning.
Chase hands her back Romilda’s pelt silently.
She cuddles into his side without a word, nuzzling his chest and breathing in his scent as she relishes in the fact that they’re both alive. Around them, everyone seems so ruined and broken. Cody had died, leaving Kadar broken. Alex and Romy both fell, and if you believe in heaven, are together again. She lost both her mother and her sister and nearly lost Chase too.
It was a miracle he’d survived, and more so that he’d dragged him from the stairs, through an indoor battlefield, down a hidden staircase and still managed to kill a deranged witch all before passing out of blood lose. For two whole days- or was it thee?- he’d been wrapped up in bandages. Half of his ribs were broken-although none punctured his lungs thankfully-, left shoulder dislocated-again-and his jaw cracked. He couldn’t even talk at first.
To tell the truth, he’s not supposed to be out of bed now, but fought tooth and nail with Travish to the point he threatened to throw the Revoker out a window. So much desperation to get out had made him drastic.
“So what do we do now?” He finally murmurs against her hair.
Kiera shrugs her shoulder slightly. “Live, I guess.”
“Aren’t we already?”
“To the fullest, Chase. Live because everyone else didn’t. We’ll live for them”
Chase is quiet for a while. “You’re sounding kind of cheesy, you know.”
“I get it from my boyfriend”
“You’re boyfriend? Tell me more of this ‘cheesy’ boyfriend. He sounds romantic”
Some of the misery evaporates, just enough for her to smile. “Well…He is a little. He has his sweet moments…and he can be awfully charming, but he’s a bit like a child, but I don’t mind, it’s fun. And even though he hasn’t brought me flowers or chocolates, he does other little things that show his love for me”
“Sounds like a keeper” He grins.
“I sure think so” she murmurs. Part of her wants to throw in a snappy remark, but she holds back.
“Although,” Chase grins charmingly, “I bet he can’t beat my girlfriend”
“You sound so sure of yourself,” Kiera huffs back in fake annoyance. For a moment, her grief melts away completely.
“Oh, yes, I am. Even though she has this attitude about her, she’s simply amazing. So cunning, with sharp words, and although she’s mostly a serious person, she knows how to have fun. She’s also a realfighter; both physically and mentally. You know, she alone freed a whole werewolf pack.”
“Really? I disagree.” Kiera states modestly and buries her head into his chest harder. Alone? No, she had so much help.
“I don’t. She’s perfect” He says just as modestly.
Kiera watches him a while, suddenly getting a flood of emotions. She reaches out to pull his head down, but doesn’t touch kiss him.. “I love you, you know that?”
“I do. I’m a very lucky man.”
Before Kiera can say she’s really the lucky one, his lips find hers.
There it is; that spark and a fire that flickers to life. She’d forgotten how good it was to be alive, but Chase’s lips seem to awaken her.
From now, she’ll just have to see where life takes her.