warnings: mentions of drug abuse/addiction
"Where's Julie?"
Spencer looks at Adam, lacing his fingers together and placing them on the table in front of him. "We're trying to find her."
Adam gives a small, humorless chuckle. "She's gonna go ballistic."
"You're in a lot of trouble, Adam," Spencer says, crunching his brows together. "But I think you know that, right?"
Adam looks at Spencer, a confused look on his face. He slowly shakes his head. "The only thing that I did wrong was leave work without telling my boss." Spencer scans the younger boy's face, trying to see a lie. "I—I need to talk to Julie."
Spencer glances toward the one-way glass and he clears his throat. "Adam...why don't you tell me about the fight you had with the first victim."
"I don't remember," Adam says, his wide eyes set on Spencer's face. He scrunches his brows, averting his gaze as he stares down at the table.
"You don't remember." Spencer's voice is a whisper.
Adam looks like he's on the verge of tears. "Uh..." He shakes his head, eyes flicking back up to meet Spencer's. "No."
Spencer's tongue flicks over his bottom lip, and he leans forward. "Adam, I really wanna help you out, but you're going to have to do a lot better than that."
"Please," Adam whispers, almost sounding on the verge of hysterics. "I just need to talk to Julie!"
Spencer stares at the boy in front of him, almost shocked at his raised voice. He takes a moment, trying to let Adam calm down. Spencer stands, shoving his hands in his pockets, walking over to lean against the chain-link wall.
"Adam, let's talk about the fight you had with the first victim, William Browder."
Adam shakes his head. "There's nothing to tell. He grabbed Madison, I tried to stop him."
"That guy was pretty big," Spencer says.
"So?"
"Uh, guys like you and I aren't...um, we aren't exactly the fighting type," Spencer replies, pushing himself off the wall, walking around to the back of Adam.
"Well, Madison's a good person," Adam says. "She didn't deserve to be treated that way."
Spencer leans against the cabinet. "You see, now I'm really confused, because you just told me you don't remember the fight."
"I don't," he retorts. "I mean, I—I don't, but I—I do."
Spencer clicks his tongue. "You don't, but you do. Can you explain to me how that works?"
"I remember he grabbed at Madison, I tried to stop him. The next thing I knew, Julie was pulling me out of the pool." He turns his head, looking back at Spencer.
Spencer meets his eyes before looking away, confusion lacing his features. He exhales slowly, moving back around to the table. He sits on the chair, crossing his legs.
"What's your relationship with Julie?"
Adam gets up, shaking his head, pacing around to behind the chain-link wall. "We've been friends since I was just a kid."
"Are you lovers?" Spencer asks, tilting his head.
Adam scoffs. "No."
"Well, then why does she pay for everything you have?"
"It's not like it's a handout," Adam says, pushing his fingers through some of the holes in the chain-link. "I mean...I'm working at the hotel so I can pay her back."
"Does she pay for the drugs, also?"
Adam meets his eyes. "I—I told you, I get migraines."
"So...take a prescription."
Adam walks slowly to the end of the wall, resting his cheek on the metal. "I thought you were different."
"What does that mean?" Spencer asks.
Adam's quiet, not answering him, choosing instead to glance at the floor. Spencer's silent for another couple moments before he stands, turning around and exiting the room. He shuts the door behind him, glancing at the team.
"He's confusing," Spencer mumbles.
"We have Julie Riley in custody," Hotch says, approaching the group.
"Did she say anything?" Y/n asks, crossing her arms.
Hotch shakes his head. "No. But she's agreed to a polygraph."
•••
Spencer scrunches his brows together as he looks down at the video feed from the day Adam had pushed William Browder into the pool. He sighs, rubbing his hands over his eyes before looking at the screen again.
"Are you okay?" Y/n whispers, turning her head to look at him.
"Yeah," Spencer says, glancing at her. His lips turn up at the corners. "I just feel like there's something I'm missing."
She reaches over, rubbing her hand over his. "We'll figure it out."
He nods at her, lacing their fingers together and squeezing her hand before letting it go.
"What are you looking at?" JJ asks, walking toward him.
"I'm not sure," Spencer mumbles.
"Well, they both passed," JJ says, an exasperated sigh leaving her.
"How is that possible?" Spencer asks, glancing up at Prentiss.
"Not only that, they passed with flying colors," she states, handing him the transcript.
Morgan sighs, sitting across from Spencer. "The only spike I got on Adam was a control question regarding geometric equations, but...honestly, I think I just flustered him."
"Either way, we've got nothing," Y/n says, her eyes grazing over the transcript.
Spencer looks passed Morgan's shoulder, focusing on Adam and Julie signing their release papers. Adam looks at Spencer, a weird mix of sadness and betrayal flashing through his eyes. He looks down at his papers, but a couple seconds later, he looks back up at Spencer, a completely different expression on his face.
He makes direct eye contact with Spencer, his face calm. His lips are turned up at the corners into a weird smirk—almost like, ha, I fooled you. Spencer scrunches his brows, holding Adam's gaze. Adam plays with the pen in his hands, never breaking eye contact with Spencer. Spencer looks away, a million thoughts running through his head as he looks down at the zoomed in video feed.
Spencer replays the video, chewing on the nail of his thumb, eyebrows scrunched together. There's something here, there's something he's missing. It's right in front of him, but he just can't connect the dots.
"So, where are we?" Morgan asks.
"Honestly? Nowhere," Rossi says.
"We just watched our two most viable suspects walk out the door," Y/n mutters.
"If Adam isn't our unsub, he has all the makings to become one someday," Prentiss says, leaning back in her seat.
"Reid?"
"Tell me the question that he spiked under in the polygraph."
"It was a control question to set the baseline," Morgan says.
"It was a geometric equation?" Spencer asks, biting the inside of his cheek.
"Reid, I really think he was just intimidated. He tried, he got it wrong, but he wasn't supposed to know the answer anyway."
"What if he lied?" Spencer asks, glancing around at the team. "What if—what if he knew the answer to the question but intentionally got it wrong?"
"Why would he do that?" Y/n asks, turning her head to look at Spencer.
"Because he realized that he wouldn't know that answer," Spencer says, his eyes glancing down at the screen.
"You're losing me, kid," Morgan says, putting his head in his hands.
Spencer inhales slowly. "Adam said he wasn't getting any rest. He takes midday naps because he's always exhausted. He has a history of blackouts, reclusive behavior, prolonged repeated abuse suffered at the hands of a dominant male who transferred abuse from his female spouse to his prepubescent child."
"Where are you going with this?" Hotch asks, his eyes narrowed.
"What if our unsub couple isn't a couple at all?"
"Dissociative identity disorder?" Y/n asks, her brows knitting together.
"You think Adam's a multiple personality?" Rossi asks, leaning forward in his chair.
"Well, it fits," Prentiss says. "Recurrent physical abuse, knowledge he shouldn't have. We've seen this before."
"Look at this," Spencer says, motioning to the video screen. He turns it so the whole team can see. "The first intervention is timid. It's apprehensive, right? But then he gets knocked down, there's a moment of calm, and then his entire body language changes." Spencer gestures to where Adam and Julie were standing a few minutes before. "I saw this exact same transformation when Adam left the station, only it wasn't rage. It was, uh, arrogance. Like the alter ego wanted me to know."
"Why?" Hotch asks.
"I don't know. Power, control. All I know is the person that stared me down over there wasn't Adam. He's not assertive like that, he doesn't make eye contact."
"So you think the stress of the interrogation blurred the line between Adam and his alter personality?" JJ asks.
"I think the unsub surfaced for just a moment," Spencer explains. "It knew the answer to the question, realized Adam wouldn't, and lied."
"We need to get to the hotel," Hotch says, standing. "Everyone grab a vest."
Spencer nods, standing up, following the team as they grab their vests. Y/n puts hers on quickly, strapping down the Velcro, meeting Spencer's eyes. Spencer pulls his on, his fingers fiddling with the Velcro.
"So Adam and the woman in the green dress are the same person?" The Sheriff asks, walking over to the team.
"We profiled the duo accurately," Spencer explains. "Only the dominant personalities and alter are inside of Adam."
"And Adam has no idea he killed all those people," Y/n states.
Spencer shakes his head. "You could argue that Adam didn't kill those people. A separate person inside of him did."
"I don't even know what we do with this," Morgan says to the team as they approach the station doors.
"We take him into custody and let the courts decide."
•••
"Reid and Y/n, take the roof."
Spencer nods, drawing his gun as he runs toward the stairs. Y/n follows, unholstering her own gun, following him. Hotch's voice stops them, and Spencer stops in his tracks, Y/n almost running into him.
"Guys, come here, the side of the building!"
Spencer and Y/n put their guns away, running after the team. A crowd has gathered at the side of the building, and the team pushes the bystanders away. Spencer gasps as he takes in the sight of Julie, bloody and wheezing, lying in the grass.
"We've got a woman down at the back of the hotel. Send medics as soon as possible," Hotch speaks into his earpiece.
"Julie? Julie, can you hear me?" Prentiss asks, bending down.
"Adam..." She sputters out.
"Okay..." Prentiss murmurs, trying to soothe the girl. "Look, help is on the way, I need you not to move."
"It wasn't. . .him," Julie says, coughing. "Strange..."
"Julie, did he say where he was going?" Hotch asks.
She gasps, trying to catch her breath. "He called himself Amanda."
"The alter personality," Spencer says, his voice slightly frantic. Y/n grabs his forearm, rubbing her thumb along the skin, trying to calm him down.
"Reid, you were right. Where would he go?" Morgan asks.
Spencer looks up at the roof. "Not he. She. Amanda, she panicked. She knew we would connect this to her."
"Okay, okay, so she's feeling the pressure," Y/n says calmly. "She obviously knows she's running out of time. Where would she go?"
Spencer looks up at the roof, his mind flashing back to one of the worst moments of his life—when he got kidnapped. His mind is filled with thoughts of Tobias, and probably one of the worst moments of all: when Spencer actually died.
"She's gonna go after the man these victims represent," he says, turning toward the team.
Morgan takes his phone out of his pocket, pushing it up to his ear. "Garcia, please tell me you know the whereabouts of Mark Harrison." He nods after a moment, shutting his phone.
"Go," Prentiss says to Morgan, Y/n, JJ, Rossi, and Spencer.
The team quickly gets into an SUV, the police following them as they speed of to Corpus Christi. Spencer sits in the back with Y/n, and she takes in his frantic face, trying to calm him down. She reaches over, placing her hand on his thigh. He takes a deep breath, putting his hand on top of hers. Her touch is comforting.
The SUV stops outside of Mark Harrison's house, and Spencer unbuckles his seatbelt, getting out of the SUV. Spencer, Y/n, and Morgan take the back of the house, and Spencer holds his gun in front of him as they enter through the back, meeting Rossi and JJ in the middle. Spencer opens the door in front of him, revealing Adam—or Amanda, really—with a plastic bag around an older man. The dad, Spencer assumes. She's holding a knife to his throat.
"Amanda," Spencer says, walking into the room.
"Stay back!" She says, her voice frantic.
"Put the knife down," Morgan says, holding his gun in front of him.
"Stand back or I'll kill him!" She says, her wide eyes settling on the team.
Spencer holsters his gun, looking at Amanda. "You do not want to do that."
"You don't know what he did!"
Spencer pauses, inhaling deeply. "When Adam's mother died, his stepfather needed a new outlet for his aggression, didn't he?"
Amanda looked like she was on the verge of tears. "He put Adam in dresses. He beat him. He touched him."
Spencer nods. "Adam was too weak to go through all of that alone. He was just a little boy. He needed you to protect him."
"I could take it," Amanda whispered. "I was stronger than he was." She looks down at Mark Harrison. "He deserves to die."
"Amanda, Amanda. That's not for you to decide. I swear to God, if you put him down and you come with me, I will get you and Adam the help that you guys need."
Amanda's silent, her eyes flicking down to the man she's killing. Spencer holds his hands up, silently pleading with her to listen to him. The only sounds are the man's ragged breaths, and Amanda's eyes flick back up to Spencer.
She shakes her head. "Adam will be sentenced for what I've done. No...I can't let that happen." She removes the knife from Mark's throat, holding it instead to her own.
"Amanda. If you kill yourself, you kill Adam. I don't see how that's protecting him. And you know what I know? I know that all you want to do in this world is protect Adam."
"That's all I've ever done!"
"Then why don't' you and I help him together," Spencer pleads.
"You can't help him. I'm the only one." She's silent, and Spencer looks at her, his eyebrows scrunched together. "I know what I have to do. I will keep him safe forever."
She drops Mark, and he falls to the ground. JJ holsters her gun, helping him get the plastic bag off of his head. After a split second, Amanda drops the knife, and Morgan holsters his gun, immediately moving forward to arrest Amanda. Spencer stares up at her, his brows still scrunched together.
"Adam. Adam," he murmurs, reaching forward to try to comfort the boy.
"Reid...he's gone."
"Adam!"
There's no response, just Amanda's unsettling gaze looking back at him from the mirror.
•••
Spencer shoves his hands in his pockets, looking out at the water, the sun touching the horizon. The roof is quiet. He understands why Adam used to come up here. He bites the inside of his cheek, a million thoughts running through his head.
"Spencer? It's time to go." Spencer doesn't answer Y/n, instead focusing on the water in front of him. "Spencer? What's wrong?"
"We've taken the victim into custody and let the abuser go free. I don't really—I don't see that as much of a win."
"Do you know how many people are going to be safe now that Amanda's off the street?" Y/n asks, her voice quiet.
"I just...I wish I could've noticed the signs in time to save Adam."
"Don't do that to yourself," she whispers, placing her hand on his forearm. She turns him around, and Spencer's eyes settle on his face. "None of us could've noticed. Our profile was right, we just never considered that the team dynamic could be locked inside one person's mind."
"I should've."
Y/n's brows push together. "Why?"
"Tobias Hankel."
Confusion runs through her face. "Who's that?"
Spencer realizes he's never told her the story. She knew he had been addicted to Dilaudid, but Spencer had never told her how he got addicted. He meets her eyes, feeling her hand travel from his forearm to his hand, lacing her fingers with his.
"When I was twenty-four, I was kidnapped and tortured for two days," Spencer tells her, his voice quiet. "The unsub's name was Tobias Hankel. He had dissociative identify disorder."
She nods, her brows scrunching together. "Oh."
"Tobias had two other personalities—Raphael and Charles. Raphael was like...an archangel. Charles was his father." Spencer averts his gaze. "Tobias was...nice. He tried to help me. That's how I got addicted to Dilaudid. Tobias gave it to me to help me forget the torture his other personalities were putting me through."
Y/n's other hand reaches up, her fingers settling under his chin. She lifts it a little so he's looking at her again. "I'm sorry."
Spencer shakes his head. "I survived. It was the worst moment of my life though. I literally...died. I died and Tobias saved me. But I...I had to kill him, or he would've killed me. Not Tobias, but Charles. Raphael. I was literally digging my own grave." She runs her thumb along Spencer's hand. "But that's how I got addicted. And I kept using afterward because I couldn't...the memories were too much."
She moves her hand to the side of his face, brushing her thumb over his. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Spencer shakes his head, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "That's why I should've...I should've seen the signs. I should've known what was happening."
"Spencer, that's not your fault," she whispers to him. "It's not your fault. Even if you had realized it in time, I don't think...I don't think it would've mattered. He was in too deep."
Spencer leans into her hand, feeling tears prick in his eyes. "I just wish I could've saved him." His voice breaks and he closes his eyes.
She releases his hand, choosing instead to wrap her arms around him, pulling him against her. He wraps his arms around her neck, burying his face into the crook of it. Spencer squeezes her tight, letting her comfort him for once instead of the other way around.
"We can't save everyone," she whispers. "We can try, but we can't."
"I know," Spencer whispers back. "I know."
They stay like that for a few more moments, and she pulls away, cupping Spencer's face in her hands. She leans in, pressing her lips against his. Spencer kisses her back, moving his hands to wrap around her back. The kiss is sweet and comforting, and Spencer can feel himself relax into her touch.
She breaks the kiss, looking into his eyes. "Don't blame yourself, okay? It's not your fault. You did what you could."
"I know," he whispers, pressing his forehead against his.
She smiles, planting a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. "Come on. The team is waiting."
Spencer laces his fingers with hers as they walk across the roof, reveling in her warm touch as they walk across the room.
—————————————
Author's Note
Hiya everyone :)
Finally, a new chapter is out! It's a good time. Four more chapters! That's crazy.
Anyway, I had to do the Adam-Amanda case because they're my favorite unsub. Period. I love this case. Plus, it's a good time for Spencer to finally tell Y/n how he got addicted to Dilaudid.
I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter :) <3