"Whoaaa, take it easy," Bowdie said as I opened my eyes.
I immediately noticed the sick feeling in my stomach.
"I'm going to be sick," I said whilst trying not to throw up.
"Quick, somebody pass me something," he said reaching out a hand and returning with an empty coal bucket.
"Try not to move her," I heard Uncle say as I fought against the sickness. The coal bucket was too pretty to puke in. Someone had polished it and... too late I threw up in it.
I heard Suri start to cry over the sound of my retching.
"It's ok darling Mummy it just over tired, she needs some rest. All you kids outside," Carla ordered.
"Oooo mmmmuuuummm! We want to watch her get sick," was the cries.
"Watching people get sick is not fun, get out," she said.
"NO!" one defiant child yell.
"OUT!" Bowdie growled and they all ran.
"Thank you Daddy," Carla said as I hung over the coal bucket, breathless, eyes streaming and fully aware I had puke splatter on my chin, clothes and hair.
"It's ok," Bowdie said gently patting my back.
"Sorry," I replied and started to cry with embarrassment. Plus I felt so dizzy I just wanted to lie down and sleep but was homeless with three kids who depended on me so couldn't.
"It was my fault," Rema announced. "I didn't know she was hu..."
"How about we run you a bath?" Carla said over her. "Help you get settled. I think you could do with a good 12 hrs sleep," she said.
"How many hours are you getting?" Uncle asked.
"2-3 a night and a few naps in the day," I replied.
"When one settles the other wakes?" he guessed.
I nodded, "It is worse recently as Willow has been ill and Bay has been teething," I replied as Carla passed me a baby wipe to clean up.
"I thought Bowdie had been helping," she asked.
"I was but I can sleep through any kid crying," he replied as he walked off with the puke bucket.
"Bloody men!" she said rolling her eyes. "I swear the only one of you who ever deals with their kid at night is Lee. Never asked for help or a nanny just got on with it and fit his work life around it..."
Uncle cleared his throat.
"Oh shit... erm... well used to," Carla said. "Come on lets got get you settled."
She led me upstairs to a huge bedroom with a four poster bed and windows looking out onto a balcony. I was too keen to get into the bed and sleep to think of the view. I could hear the bath running and knew there was no point in getting puke splattered clothes on the bed. I started to remove my clothes.
"Your bath is ready," a maid announced to Carla.
"Thank you," she replied on my behalf.
"You have a bath and I will watch the kids," Carla said with a reassuring smile.
"How's Willow?" I asked.
"Asleep and exhausted," she replied. "Bay has gone to the nursery too. Don't worry they are quite safe. Look how fat and happy my son is and he's having a nap too. It is two doors down from you."
I took a few slow deep breaths as I started to feel woozy again.
"Are you sure you are ok? You look a bit..."
I decided I best climb into bed in my underwear before I fell.
"UNCLE!" She yelled.
"I am fine, just little light headed and need a nap," I said breathless.
I had to close my eyes as the room was too much to visually take. My eyes wanting to take it all in but my mind thinking No!!!
I could hear Suri's crying getting louder as she came down the hallway.
"Here she is," Uncle said as I heard his voice and footsteps with Suri in tow. "There is no need to be scared silly."
I opened my eyes. Why was she scared?
"See Suri I told you, Rema's way of reading can sometimes affect the reader when they are..."
"Tired!" Carla said over uncle and glared at him.
"Come here baby," I said lifting the blanket up as Suri was kicking her shoes off. She was in and cuddling me in seconds. I actually felt better with her to cuddle but it was momentary as I soon felt her fear. It was emanating from her. She was terrified.
"Ohh that is much better. I love having my baby girl to cuddle up to. Just what the doctor ordered," I said trying to settle her down.
"Mummy," she cried.
"Yes sweetheart," I replied stroking her hair back and closing my eyes again.
"Stephanie threw my daddy in a ditch!" she said and sobbed her heart out.
"Who told her that?" Carla asked angry.
"Shhh, that is not true. Daddys car broke and went into a field. He hurt himself a bit like when you fall off your bike in the garden, but granddad is looking after him," I said quickly whilst praying he was ok and I wasn't lying to the child.
"I want my daddy!" cries started.
"When I went to fetch Willow's tanks so we could come here, I saw him at the hospital. He said to tell you he loves you, he misses you and I got a kiss to give you," I informed her. "Are you ready for it?" I asked.
She nodded.
"Pucker up," I said.
She pouted and I place a 'Mwah' on her lips.
She licked her lips as though tasting and swallowing it. "That was a good one," she said making me smile. "I want my daddy to kiss me all the time," she said as I wiped her tears away.
"He sent Mr Hugs and Kisses to keep so you won't miss any of them," I replied trying to appease her.
"Where?" she said looking around at our bags which had been brought up.
"Here," Carla said pulling it out of a hastily packed bag.
"Mr Hugs and Kisses!" she squealed and hugged and kissed him to pieces before breaking her heart crying and Uncle picked her up to sooth her. "He kept all the kisses," she said hugging the teddy.
"Yes, he is a very clever teddy bear," Uncle said stroking the teddy affectionately.
"That has been her bear since she was born," Carla whispered. "Lee got it for her and she was so small that whilst he fixed her feed he would lie the bear down and put her on its chest to cuddle. She would lie there and wait patiently whilst he got everything ready. That teddy has been her nanny for years."
I smiled and watched her with Uncle who was using the same sway with her as Lee did to sooth her.
"Teddy doesn't think I'm bad," Suri said to uncle.
"You are not bad, who said you were bad?" he asked, concern filling his voice.
She didn't say, she just hugged her teddy.
"There is not one bad thing about you Suri Grayson. You are under my protection now and if anyone dare so much as think you are bad I will... well I will be very displeased," he said reigning in his outburst. "How about I speak to your grandfather and see how Daddy is doing?" Uncle offered.
She nodded shyly and there was the sleepy look... yes she would sleep after all.
"You have a bath with your wonderful new mummy who needs rest and cuddles. Leave Daddy to me," Uncle said leaving the room.
"Don't let Stephanie catch you or she'll do something bad to you, won't she mummy?" Suri informed him and looked at me for confirmation.
I nodded.
"Don't you worry about Stephanie, she only wishes she has that kind of power over me," Uncle called back. "She touches you again I will bring you her head."
Something told me that was not a joke.
"Yeah and I will kick her head in a ditch!" Suri yelled and gave a naughty giggle.
Sleepy head now replaced by giggles... time for a bath.
Carla helped me into the bath before going to check on the babies as I heard Willow cry. Suri decided to climb in and wash my hair.
"Mummy, I am the best at hair washing. I get behind your ears and back of your neck," she said scratching there with her soapy hands and making me giggle. She loved bath time chats but I mainly tried to bath when one of her programmes were on as her toe nails drove me mad, digging in my back or sides, pinching and for a little girl who only just turned five but was going on thirty she is still a bloody fidget.
"Ok hold your breath mummy," she said before pouring a jug of water over me. I was not sure if the bowl and jug were for decorative purposes only but having already puked in the coal bucket I figured what the hell and let her use it. The bath was more bubbles than water and by the time we got out I was like a walking snow man and she was dancing around with a foam cone on her head singing grease, 'beauty school drop out'. She must have had some fun times with her father as these were not things I had taught her. She did however tell me seriously one day that she wasn't allowed to bath with daddy like we did as he had boy bits. No boy is allowed to see a girls 'downstairs bits' when they don't wear nappies anymore. Her and daddy just went to swim in the pool where he would let her jump off his shoulders into the water and land with a big splash. Again, I pitied the loss of that relationship. I remembered similar things with my own father, he would chase us, grabbing April and me, throwing us into the lake. Our childhoods were similar in that way, so care free until one day everything changes and you don't have a daddy anymore and don't understand why. As a child it is easy, if you want to stay, you stay but to an adult it is far too complex and in Lee's case I don't think even he knows what he signed up for.
I felt much better after the bath and head massage from Suri. She made me feel like a chimp being pampered when she spoilt me like that. I think she wanted to make sure I was ok and loved looking after me. Carla brought in a cup of tea and orange juice, along with an iced bun. Delicious and not puked up afterwards.
Our hair dried, PJ's, bed and a cuddle with the babies meant the night settled into bliss... except for my constant worrying about Lee and his operation. Hiding it from my Suri was a strain and as I closed my eyes to sleep I prayed to my sister and Glen to watch over him and find him a get out of jail free card... otherwise I was going to have to stage a jail break.