•omniscient•
/f l a s h b a c k/
|a f e w m o n t h s a g o|
- CONGRATULATIONS NAMJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! YOU FINALLY GOT IT!! Yoongi cheered, waving the sheet of paper in his hand, nearly tearing it.
- Huh?! Hyung... It's 8am and we're on our last days off until we go back to packed schedules and hard work, why on Earth would you scream that loud? Jungkook moaned out, rubbing his eyes with his fists as his head peaked out from his room.
- Namjoon finally got his licence! The rapper whisper-shouted, flashing his largest gummy smile.
He was, in fact, very proud of Namjoon. He had been struggling to pass the tests as they didn't have much time and ended up postponing it until last week, their only 2 weeks off before they have to go back to work for their future album.
He had studied everything about the driving theory in only three days and had aced the test.
His brain and his memory are amazing.
But then he had to pass the practical test...
This was a whole lot different.
Namjoon is known to be the clumsy kind of person, so it wasn't a surprise when they received the results of his 1st practical test, which he had failed because of multiple serious mistakes.
He had to re-take the test, and unfortunately, he failed it again.
But he didn't give up, he had to take 12 hours driving lessons (the least he could take) to be able to try again.
And after those 12 hours, and the 3rd practical test, Namjoon finally got his licence.
That day, Bangtan decided to throw a little party to honor the leader.
/e n d o f f l a s h b a c k/
It was currently 3am and Namjoon finally decided that he could go back to the dorms after a long and tiring day of hard work. Their new album will be coming soon, in a few month to be more precise, and the leader had taken that bad habit again: staying late in his studio to finish some lyrics or compositions.
But now that he has his driving license, he was a little more independent in a way. He was now able to go back to the dorms alone, without asking for his band mates or their private driver to come and pick him up. That means he could stay at his studio later, without bothering the others.
He's been driving for about 5 months but Namjoon was pretty confident on the roads he knows well so there wasn't really any reason to worry, was there?
He sighs as he notices, by a look through his window, the rain pouring outside.
He saves his work, locks his studio before making his way to Bighit's underground car park.
Once he's in front of his beautiful class A Mercedes, he finally notices something.
His keys.
Namjoon forgot his keys.
The rapper moans loudly, his protests against himself echoing through the whole, empty car park.
He goes back in his studio, gets his keys and then finally enters his car.
He sighs, rubbing his aching eyes before starting the engine.
.
Everything was going quite okay and Namjoon, despite being overly exhausted, was extremely focused on the road.
It was quite dark outside (something pretty usual at past 3am) and the rain was making the leader kinda nervous as he couldn't see properly despite having his headlights on.
It was quiet, but the sound of the rain hitting harshly the windshield was soothing the young idol.
He was humming sofly some tune he just invented, when suddenly, a figure ran on the road.
His heart sank, and in a panic, he turned the steering wheel as much as he could, trying not to hit what he thinks was a person.
Namjoon drifted on the other side of the road but didn't realized it before a loud honk was echoing.

(here is a lil explanation bc idk if u get what I meant. Joon is on the right side of the road, cars on this side are going as indicated on the pic. And on the left side, cars are driving in the opposite direction. As indicated.)
His breath left his lungs when the truck hit his car head-on, triggering the airbags.
It crushed his chest, breaking a few ribs in the process.
It was difficult for Namjoon to breathe as he felt like he was drowning.
His vision was blurry and he knew that he wasn't okay.
Not at all.
The pain so intense that he was feeling numb.
He was there, gasping for air as the cold rain was hitting his injured temple.
The windshield was completely broken into a million pieces of glass, that had injured the young rapper's face and hands when it exploded.
Namjoon was now unconscious.
Unable to bear the pain anymore.
.
As soon as it's calm again, the truck driver, in tears, called an ambulance.
His truck was so huge that all the damage actually was done to Namjoon car.
He bit his lip, looking at the crushed car in front of him, praying that the person inside fights for his life.
He explained the situation to the ambulance and they said help is on the way.
The driver felt guilty for what happened to Namjoon but it wasn't his fault.
As soon as they arrived, along with the firefighters and the police, they all knew Namjoon's life was threatened.
- We're gonna need to cut the door or the roof to get him out of there. A firefighter said, a pained expression easily noticeable on his face.
Last time he had that kind of case, the people inside the car were all dead
without exception.
They cut the car's roof and manage to get Namjoon out, very carefully to not make anymore damage.
When you take a quick look at him, he doesn't look that bad: only a few cuts on the face from the broken windshield; a broken leg, whose bone was poking out of the skin and a ginormous hematoma on his chest from the airbag crushing it.
But actually,
Namjoon was on respiratory arrest and needed to be monitored.
Two of his ribs had pierced trough the left lung so he had a massive internal bleeding.
His vertebrae were out of place.
The paramedics didn't know if he was going to make it trough.
They put him on a stretcher after securing his neck and placed a tube down his throat that will breathe for him.
But once at the hospital, as he was carried to the ER to get surgery to fix the bleeding in his lungs, Namjoon went into cardiac arrest for the first time.
Doctors and nurses were rushing in and out of the ER, doing everything they could to keep him alive.
After 2 rounds of defibrillation, his heart was back to its usual rate.
Everyone in the room sighed in relief before finally proceeding to the surgery.
. . .
- He's going to be okay. The surgeon announced as she took off her gloves, washing her hands.
- Did you call his family? She then asked, drying her hands with a clean towel.
- I did, they're on their way back to Korea, they'll be there as soon as possible but it may takes some time as they were on holiday in Turkey. I also called close friends of his that were on the list. They'll be here in a few minutes. The nurse explained, as he was reading the list of contacts to make sure he didn't forget anyone.
+boyz side+
~Taehyung~
*bzzzzzz bzzzzzz bzzz bzzzz*
What the hell! It's the 8th time my phone rung during the past 10 minutes. What's happening?
The phone number on my screen is unknown to me, it could be a sasaeng so I don't bother to reply.
But then again, my phone lit up, showing that same phone number again.
I worriedly bit my lower lip as I stare at my screen, not knowing what to do.
The dorm is silent, filled with the soft sound the rain is making as it gently lands on the window but then, that silence got cut by a loud rigngtone.
Hoseok hyung forgot to put his phone on silent mode again...
I sigh as I finally got up from my warm bed, no more able to fall back asleep.
I was making myself some tea, scrolling through Twitter before another ringtone echoes in the dorm.
What is actually happening?
This time, it's Jin hyung's phone that's ringing, Mario's soundtrack blasting trough the whole street (I'm not exaggerating).
A bunch of groans and heavy steps could be heard from the kitchen, where I currently was.
We we're all up and grumpy, and, as I look at the others, I notice something.
- Joonie hyung isn't there. I said calmly, not even disturbed by his absence.
The others look at me weirdly, before, as I just did, looking at each other and noticing that I wasn't lying.
- Well, it's past 4am, I am calling him so he gets back to rest. Yoongi hyung announced.
But as he was composing his phone number, his phone starts ringing, interrupting his actions.
- Who's that? I asked.
- I don't know, someone has been calling me for about 15 minutes now. I thought it was some sasaeng so I didn't reply. He simply said, hanging up on the person that was calling to be able to call our leader.
[The person you're trying to call isn't available at the moment, your call has been forwarded to the vocal message system. Please try again later or leave a message after the beep sound. When you are finished recording your message, you may hang up or press 1 for more options. *beep*]
- Uhm... Joon? It's me, you should come back home, it's past 4 am. Call me if you got my message, bye.
- He didn't reply ? Jimin asked, rubbing his eyes.
- No, that's not like him to-
- Oh my god, what is it with our phones right now? Can't they just stop harassing us? Jungkook snapped, violently placing his phone in front of him, ready to attack the person on the other side.
- WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING ME? IT'S FRICKING 4 AM! I'M CALLING THE POLICE IF YOU KEEP CALLIN-
- Jeon Jungkook? Are you Jeon Jungkook, related to Kim Namjoon. The person said trough the loud speaker.
Jungkook immediately calms down, his eyes now glued on his phone.
- Y-yes... He started a bit disoriented. Why asking? You probably already know it! He snapped.
- I'm Hwang Moonbin, nurse at Seoul National Hospital. Your friend, Kim Namjoon was urgently integrated into the hospital, just 30 minutes ago. He had an accident. He announced blankly.
Jungkook lets his phone fall on the floor, completely and utterly shocked.
His breathing fastened and he lowers himself down as to avoid falling harshly on the floor.
He's going to collapse.
I sit next to him, staring into nothing, hugging him tightly.
- Sir? Jungkook-ssi, are you still here?
The others just watch us hugging on the floor.
What we heard can't be the truth.
No.
Hoseok slowly walks to the phone and takes it carefully.
- H-hello? He whispered, his voice cracking already.
- Jungkook-ssi, are you okay?
- I'm Jung Hoseok, Jungkook and Namjoon's friend. We're calming down our nerves and we'll come, we'll be quick.
- Take your time, your friend is going to be okay.
. . .
~Omniscient~
- Could you please tell me where Kim Namjoon's room is?
- He's in recovery room, please wait in that waiting room, someone will come and update you soon.
Not even 20 minutes later, a nurse came to them, asking them to follow him to Namjoon's room.
- Your friend is very lucky, the accident has made many damages on him. He was in respiratory arrest because of internal bleeding caused by two of his ribs that had pierces through his left lung. Then, later, he went into cardiac arrest. Very few of us really believed he was going to make it trough. But your friend fought for his life. He has a few minor injuries on his face and hand, along with a broken leg and 2 broken ribs. We managed to get it all back in place, as well as his vertebrae, that were totally out of place. When he'll wake up, he may have to learn how to walk again, it may be the same with his speech as his brain was deprived of oxygen for a few minutes. We don't know the extend of brain damage yet, we'll just wait for him to wake up. I have to tell you that he won't wake up right now, it may take a few days or weeks but he'll definitely wake up, you don't have to worry about it. Here, you can go in. He said as he motioned them to the hospital room.
They all silently entered the room, accompanied by their manager who had joined them after being called by the hospital too.
They look at the pained, fragile looking bedridden boy.
Jungkook let's out a loud sob, hiding his face in his hands.
He wish he could have been there to prevent that accident from happening.
A doctor suddenly enters without knocking.
- Oh ... Sorry, I didn't know visitors were already there... She apologized, bowing a few times.
- It's okay... Yoongi started.
- I'm Dr Park, I'm the surgeon that took care of that lucky boy. She smiled.
- Please, don't look so sad, he'll be okay... It'll take a long time to heal and recover from this, but once he'll wake up, just a few months of re-education will suffice for him to get back on his feet.
- Thank you very, very much for saving his life Dr Park. Seokjin said, in the name of all of them.
/t i m e s k i p/
It's been 2 weeks that Namjoon has been admitted to the hospital.
He has lost a few pounds because he had been using a probe to give his body the nutrients it needs.
Bangtans were feeling really down and the fact that their friend hasn't woken up yet is starting to affect their mental health.
They've spent countless sleepless nights, crying until there was no tears left.
And even the support the fans are giving them isn't enough.
Everyday they were waiting for a call from the hospital or just for their friend to wake up and tell them everything is okay.
But it's imp-
*bzzzz bzzzz*
- Hello?! Seokjin hurried to reply.
- Hello, am I talking to Kim Seokjin?
- Yes, himself. I-
- Kim Namjoon woke up a few minutes ago, one of your friend is already here but he fainted a few minutes ago due to lack of sleep. Would you come and visit them?
- Of course, we're on our way! He said excitedly, smiling widely.
- GUYS, NAMJOON WOKE UP! AND YOONGI FAINTED... WE HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW! He screamed to wake the others from their restless sleep.
They all look at each other, pretty annoyed and irritated but once they processed the information, they all jumped in action, getting ready as fast as possible.
In 5 minutes, they were all sat in Jungkook's car, Seokjin driving them to the hospital as Jungkook was already asleep in the backseat.
. . .
- JOONIE! Hoseok screamed in joy.
- h-hi. He replied stuttering a bit.
- Oh my god Joonie hyung, I was so afraid! Please be more careful, never do that again! Jungkook said as he let out a few tears.
He has been deeply hurt from his hyung state. The most hurt out of them. Namjoon was his idol, his model, his brother.
He said nothing. He just grabbed Jungkook's hand and pulled him in a tight hug, caressing the maknae's hair.
- w-where is Yoongi hyung? Namjoon asked after a few minutes of silence as he looked around him.
- Oh my! I totally forgot about him... The nurse said he fainted earlier, but I was so happy you woke up that I didn't think of him anymore. Let me just ask where his room is. The eldest said.
But as he wanted to open the door, it flew open, revealing a panting Yoongi and two nurses that have been running after him.
- Yoongi-ssi! Please don't run like that, you just woke up! One of the nurses said.
- What's happening? Seokjin asked as Yoongi passed by him without looking at him.
- I don't know, he woke up a few minutes ago and suddenly started to run to here... Sorry for bothering, I'm calling for help right now! She said, looking down and bowing deeply.
- That won't be necessary, it's my brother, thank you for taking care of him. Jimin said as he came near Seokjin to know what was happening.
- Umhh.. Of course... But your friend should eat something and have a lot of rest before he collapses again. Please take care of him! The other nurse said, bowing again before leaving them alone.
.
- Joonie I missed you so much! Yoongi said as he hugged the leader tightly, litterally shaking.
- Heyy. Hyung I'm fine now. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm talking for everyone... I'm deeply sorry you had made youselves sick and exhausted because of me.
- Joonie hyung, this is not your fault, the truck driver told us everything. You were just avoiding hitting someone with your car, we know. Jungkook started.
- But please, be more careful next time hyungie... Taehyung whispered.
- I promise. He said.
But he didn't know that accident left a wound that none of the surgeon o or nurses could heal.
He didn't know it yet.
.
A few weeks later, Namjoon was able to go back home after 5 weeks at hospital.
His ribs were healed and even though he sometimes has trouble breathing, the doctor said it'll pass as his lung heal and that there was nothing to worry about.
Also, he had started re-education as soon as he woke up and his body seemed to cope with it pretty well as it took him about a month to walk on his own, without any help.
Everyone was proud of him, as well as himself.
His band mates were leading him to the van, cracking some jokes.
They were all happy to have their leader back.
But the more they got near to the van, the more something grew in the pit of the young rapper's stomach.
That feeling was leaving him uncomfortable, his palms sweating and his heart rate a bit higher than it should.
Everyone enters the van, leaving only one choice to Namjoon...
The passenger seat.
At the front.
He looks at the windshield as a shiver ran down his spine and slowly opened the door.
But seeing the steering wheel, the dashboard and the gear lever triggered something inside of him.
Memories of his accident flashed in him mind as he jumped back from fear.
He hit his head on the car's roof before falling on the ground, panting and whimpering from the pain.
Everyone looked at him with astonished eyes.
What was happening to their leader?
- I-I can't... No.. I don't want to! He said, still gasping for air.
Yoongi was the quickest to act, jumping in action as he recognized the symptoms of something he had to deal with for years.
2020, November the 7th, 9:39am.
Namjoon had his first panic attack.
/t i m e s k i p/
After a few weeks, they found out that panic attack wasn't the last one the leader would go through.
Namjoon didn't want to be in anything that ressembles a car, whether it's as the driver or as the passenger.
He didn't want to admit he was hurt, traumatized.
He didn't want to admit he didn't trust himself anymore, he didn't want to admit that he wasn't only afraid for himself, but also for the others.
He tried to force himself to get back to his normal life but his body simply didn't want.
It was painful.
Namjoon felt ashamed.
|f l a s h b a c k|
~Namjoon~
I woke up from a nightmare again.
I sigh.
Why does it have to ruin my life like this?!
Why is my body reacting like this?
Why can't I just be normal?
I look at the digits on my phone.
4:51am.
Still early.
But impossible for me to fall back asleep.
I silently get up and put on a sweater as it's cold outside.
I take Hoseok hyyung's keys and sneak out of the dorm without making any noise.
I unlock the car but I don't enter yet.
I just take some deep breaths, trying to calm my already pounding heart.
I bit my lip, trying hard to convince myself that nothing going to happen, I won't start the engine, I'll just sit still and try to get my body used to it again.
But as soon as I sat, my hand gripped the steering wheel harshly and my whole body is shaking.
I close my eyes trying to breathe deeply like Yoongi hyung taught me.
But I just feel like a needle is stabbing my heart with each deep breath.
I amke them shorter to ease the pain.
My hands still clutching the wheel as my breathing slowly begins to get messy.
The door is still open but my body can't move, I'm paralyzed.
Flashback of that tragic day invade my head again.
.
- JOON!
I was.. sobbing?
- Joonie hyung, take deep breaths, you're okay now.. Someone whispered to my ear.
- J-Jimin? I asked, not sure.
- It's Jungkook, hyung... I was about to go for a lil jogging and and saw you in hobi hyung's car... Are you okay? He asked, his voice all soft as though he was afraid to break me.
- What time is it. I asked as to avoid answering his question.
- 5:12am. Another voice said.
- Joon, you got us all worried... Why would you do that? Jin hyung asked.
- I thought I'd get better if I made my body used to the car again.
- Traumas doesn't work like that, Namjoon. You need to have therapy, you can't keep hurting yourself that way, it'll just make it harder for you to heal. Hobi said in a stern voice.
- I'm sorry... Are you mad at me because I took your car without permission?
- No, I'm mad because you're hurting yourself. I'm mad because you're pushing us away when we try to help you. I'm mad because I don't know what to do for you to get better and it f*****g hurts to see you like this! He snapped, tears falling down his cheeks.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt y'all. I'll get some help. I'll get better, I promise.
|e n d o f f l a s h b a c k|
2020, December the 3rd, 3:37pm.
Namjoon was diagnosed with PTSD that involved a panic attack disorder.
He still got a long way to go but with a few therapies and with the help and support from his brothers and ARMY, he will be fine.
______________________________
hi! As I promised, here is the os! It was a request from ikilli, I thank him/her very much for her patience. Thank you for requesting! I hope this will satisfy you, I tried to make it quite long (about 4k words) to make it up for the waiting... I really hope you enjoyed this, do not hesitate to request lol.
(btw I'm sorry if there are mistakes, I didn't proofread it (well actually, I did it once but I usually do it abt 5 times to make sure there aren't too many but I'm lazy srry :) )