r o r y
Things are much harder than I thought they'd be. I've spent most of my time thinking of ways to confess my love for Chace. My thoughts have ranged between a romantic bubble bath surrounded by rose petals and candles. We'll cuddle and fuck under the warm suds before I confess that I'm recklessly in love with him. Or I could serenade him with sweet music, lead him to the bedroom, and reveal the sexy lingerie that I'm wearing. I'll ride him like I never rode him before and tell him how much I love him. Either way, two things are certain. I want to fuck him, and I want to tell him how much I love him.
Going a week without sex seemed daunting at first. Three days in and I'm fucking dying. I'm not relapsing. I know I'm not. Still, I find masturbation to be a temporary solution to a big problem. Sexual texts and pictures back and forth between us only go so far. I miss Chace. I need him here. To touch, kiss, love. This is about love.
I'm not relapsing.
I told Chace about my dilemma and his answer was the same as before. Hook up with Rosie. I won't mind. It wasn't the answer I needed. Giving in is not an option. I can't let this beat me. Not again.
Tyler has been a decent distraction. He's fun to hang around, but even he can't stop me from thinking about sex. I was so unsettled the other night when we accidentally danced with each other. Even if it was only for a moment, the second I saw it was him, I immediately went back to the night we first met. Despite my lack of attraction to him now, there's no denying how attracted I was to him back then. Part of that girl woke up for just a moment. She came alive with the need to have a reckless and steamy fuck.
Four more days. You can wait four more days.
After taking a cold shower, I prepare for another day with Tyler. I'm lazy with my looks since I have no honest plans. One of Chace's t-shirts, a pair of shorts and slippers are enough for me. I don't even bother with my hair, stuffing it in a lazy bun that threatens to tilt off my head. I should probably comb it, but at this point, I'm too distressed to want to look presentable.
Staying up with Tyler last night let me know that I'm not the only one who misses Chace more than anything. Who needs him more than anything. He is a force of tranquility for everyone.
I find Tyler in the kitchen, shirtless as usual, standing at the stove with a spatula in hand. I sneak over and see he's frying a pan of eggs and sausage. I give him an impressed look. "Good morning. I didn't know you were a cook."
"I'd hardly call this cooking." He knocks his head to the side. "I brewed some coffee. Go ahead and set up a place at the table or something."
Simpering, I skip over to the hot coffee pot on the other side of the counter and fix us both a mug. He's being nice. Civil. I know I've declared our friendship before. I know we've called a truce. It still surprises me to receive Tyler's kindness. Unless this is all a ploy he's pulling to yank the rug from under me later. I fully expected him to try to make my life hell. The second time we met, he declared that he couldn't wait to get me alone. He was dangling our previous intimacy over my head like a threat. The Tyler I have now seems more thrilled about the fact that we have so much in common. I don't think he has many friends.
He fixes our plates for breakfast and sits in the chair across from me. His eyes are tired with shadows beneath them, but there's a humble light flickering inside him. "Did you get any sleep after?" I ask before shoving a forkful of eggs into my mouth.
"Nope. After you fell asleep, I just kept watching TV."
"How long does your insomnia last?"
"However long it wants to. I've never had medication strong enough to help me sleep. Drugs usually knock me out better than any of them can."
"Do you think drugs could be contributing to it?"
He raises his eyes to me. "I've been an insomniac since I was twelve. Didn't start using until I was seventeen."
"Why did you start using drugs? What led you to this road."
"Don't feel like sharing right now."
"Oh. Okay." Something's wrong. Something happened. He seems...grumpy. Which isn't saying a lot, but it's a different kind of grumpy. Not like he's trying to get under my skin, but maybe I've gotten under his? "Is everything okay?"
He bites off a piece of sausage and arches a curious brow. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"You seem...different," I tread carefully.
"Different how?"
I shrug. "You're not teasing me, being invasive, or asking me to go on a crazy adventure with you."
He presses his lips together and gives me an irritated look. "The world doesn't revolve around Rory Hernandez."
I narrow my eyes at his snarky tone. "Don't be an ass. You're being moody."
"I thought you'd know by now that I'm a moody bastard."
"Fair." I take a sip of coffee and sit up straighter. "I'll just have to overpower it with positivity."
His brows create shadows over his eyes. "What?"
"If you're being a moody bastard, I have to be the extreme opposite of that. Otherwise, this house is going to be hell to live in for the next four days. I'm already having a hard enough time without my boyfriend. I don't need his brother bringing down the place." Once I finish eating, I clear my place and throw my dishes in the sink. The second Tyler finishes, I clear his area as well.
"I don't need a maid," he grumbles.
"Just being a decent human being," I sing on my way to the sink.
"That's annoying."
I whirl around and smirk at him. "Well, now you know how it feels to be around someone who's unnecessarily mean."
Tyler stretches from his seat and trudges down the hall back to his bedroom. He shuts the door behind him without uttering another word. I fold my arms and frown in his direction. What's up with him? He acts like someone just ran over his puppy. Refusing to let him be a loner, I go to his room and knock before opening the door. He's lying on his bed with his arm rested over his eyes.
"What if I was jacking off in here? You're invading my privacy."
My face warms and I grimace. "If you jack off the second you get done eating breakfast, then that's a weird morning schedule."
"I don't tell you when to get yourself off." He lowers his arm and arches a brow. "Pretty sure you've done it at weirder times."
I glance away. He's right. Still, I don't want to give him the luxury of being so. "What's the plan for today? Anarchy? More graffiti art? Cop chases?"
He rolls over to his side, letting his back face me. "I'm hanging out right here."
"Aww. Don't be so boring." I sit on the edge of his bed and poke his arm. "You're the one always getting me excited for these things. What's up your sleeve this time?"
Tyler turns slightly and looks at me like my mere presence will give him a disease. "Get out of my bed."
"Ty-"
"Get out."
"What's wrong with you?"
He sits up, grabs my wrists, and tries to push me off. "Get off of my bed, Rory."
"You're pretty weak," I giggle. "Either that or I weigh too much." I resist him and push my weight forward, succeeding in overpowering him. "Come on! Let's have some fun tonight. I could use more distractions."
He narrows his eyes suddenly. "Distractions? So you don't even like hanging out with me?"
My heart drops as I realize how I just made that sound. "I-I do." I press closer. "I just don't think about how much I miss Chace when I'm with you." Or how much I hate my parents. "It's worse when I'm alone."
His expression becomes unreadable for a moment. He stares at me. Stares hard. Stormy eyes take me in for the longest moment, and he presses his reddish lips together. He tightens his fingers around my wrists and pushes harder. "Unless you want to repeat the events of the night we first met, you'd get out of my bed."
I jump up immediately and swallow the lump in my throat. My face burns and heat rakes through my body just thinking about it. Fuck. Not again. "Don't be a pervert," I say in a harsher tone than intended.
Tyler's eyes widen with amusement. "Now I've made you upset."
"I thought we were over what happened back then."
He crawls out of bed and is quick to tower over me. "I never said I was over it, Rory. I just stopped bringing it up out of respect for our newfound friendship."
My breath catches and I inch back a step. I know what he's doing. He's trying to make me angry simply because he's annoyed. He thinks making me uncomfortable will get me to leave, but he has no idea how wrong he is. I'm stubborn as fuck. I always get what I want in the end. "I don't think that's true." I stand straighter and lift my chin to meet his gaze. "If you did, you wouldn't want to be my friend. I know you like Jeffery."
He seems genuinely confused at first like he has no idea whose name I just mentioned. "Jeffery?"
I fold my arms with victory in my lungs. "You have a lot of chemistry, and you're super close. He's the only guy you continuously sleep with. Clearly, he likes you a lot too, but you're too afraid of commitment to give him a chance."
Tyler releases a near-hysterical laugh and runs his hands through his hair. "Are you that oblivious, Rory?"
"I-" My victory wanes. "What?"
"Everyone sees it. Everyone gives me shit about it." He throws his hands out as if to emphasize everyone around him. "Even Victoria noticed the day she fucking met me. Every single person I know sees it besides you."
"What are you talking about?"
"You! I'm talking about you, Rory. I don't have feelings for Jeffery. I never have. I like him, sure. But liking someone doesn't mean wanting to be in a relationship with them. I've never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone. Not when I was a kid, not a teen, not now. Until recently when someone decided to come back into my life and screw me up. I was fine being alone. Now I don't know what the hell I want."
"W-well tell them you like them," I stammer. I toss my hands up, equally frustrated and confused by his reaction. "Sheesh, I didn't know you didn't like Jeffery. No need to get pissed at me."
Tyler laughs again with far less amusement. He runs a frustrated hand through his hair as he turns in a tight circle. Frustration pierces behind his eyes like he wants me to read his mind. "I'm spelling it out for you, and you still don't get it. You say you're smart, but you're acting really fucking dumb."
My heart drops. That's enough. I don't care how upset he is, he doesn't have to be so rude to someone he claims he wants to be his friend. "Look, I know you're being all pissy because you want me to leave you alone, but you don't have to fucking insult me," I snap. "Do you want to be friends or not?"
"No! I don't want to be your friend."
That's not what I expected his answer to be. I definitely don't expect it to create such an aching pain in my chest. "Fine!" I try to turn around, but he's got me cornered between him and a wall. I shove his shoulder. "Move, asshole."
"I don't want to." His voice is suddenly weak and vulnerable.
I dare look at him again to find his head low with shame. Dark hair shields his eyes, keeping me from seeing the look on his face. "What the fuck is your problem?" My heart beats so much faster than I can handle.
He presses his hand on the wall next to my head and leans down. "I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying my best, okay? I'm trying to stop feeling like this." He claws at his chest as if something is festering inside it. "I wish I didn't feel this way because it's fucking cruel. Chace doesn't deserve this. You don't deserve this."
"Tyler, what's wrong?" Clearly, he's trying to open up about something, and it's impossible to decipher when he's dancing around it like this.
"You." Emotion swirls around the clouds in his eyes. "You're what's fucking wrong with me."
I frown and my heart beats too hard. His face is too close. He's too close. Discomfort writhes beneath my skin, and I want to beg him to move away. He's not making any sense to me.
He laughs in defeat. "You still don't get it. I can see it in your eyes. You're confused as ever. Even when I'm trying to spell it out for you, you don't understand. Is it that impossible for you to imagine?"
"Imagine what, Tyler? You're not making any sense." I raise my voice, but I'm so weak and vulnerable on the inside. "And stop backing me up against the wall. It's making me uncomfortable."
"You know what makes me uncomfortable? Sleeping one room away from my brother when I know he's holding you and touching you all night."
Heat consumes my face and I look away in embarrassment. "D-don't think about that."
"How could I not? It's all that's on my mind when I can't sleep. Do you know how hard it is for me to be one room away from you? Knowing how lonely you are? Knowing what you do to fill that loneliness?"
That's what this is about? "Well, fine. I'll go back to my apartment when I'm feeling...vulnerable. I didn't think it'd bother you."
"No. That's not what I'm saying." He presses his forehead to mine and places his other hand on the other side of my head.
I hold my breath. My heart beats a mile a minute, so hard that I can feel it in my eardrums. The essence of pinecone invades my senses. A familiar scent. Warmth takes over my body against my will. Familiar feelings awaken inside me. My eyes widen and I blink back tears. Nonono! This isn't right. "M-move," I whisper. "Please, move."
"I'm so weak," he rasps. "Fucking pathetic. I keep going back and forth between fighting it and wanting to give in to it."
"Tyler," I gasp his name as my body continues to react to him in ways it shouldn't. I have to get away. I shouldn't be feeling like this. Yet fire caresses my core in ways I don't want it. I squeeze my eyes shut. Don't go back to being that girl. You're stronger than this.
"Chace deserves a better brother than me. I've done nothing but hurt him his entire life."
"I can't breathe with you so close. I-"
"You think you can't breathe?" Tyler's head drops to my shoulder. His skin touches mine and my body ignites. "Every time I see you, you take my fucking breath away for reasons I can't even explain."
"What are you saying?" I cry and shove him away. He stumbles back in shock like he didn't realize how close he was. "Are you really fucking with me right now?" I demand. I wipe my tears furiously only to see his confused expression. "I'm trying my best to stay under control while Chace is gone. Now you're coming at me with some fake confession just to mess with me? If you don't want me around that bad, just tell me. Don't try to fucking trigger me."
He reaches out for me. "Rory-"
"Stop!" I smack his hand away. "Don't touch me. Just leave me alone." I shove past him and out of the room to run into Chace's. I slam the door shut behind me and lock it for good measure. Agony wrenches through my heaving chest and I grab at it desperately. Desire continues to course through my veins like a sick curse. I slide to the floor, back to the door, and let tears fall from my unblinking eyes. What was that?
I can't leave this room. Not for the rest of the day. Not for the rest of the week. There's too much at risk. Too many dangers around me. I need to call Victoria. I need to call Chace. Someone who understands and can help me. I can't go back. Please, help me.
The floorboards creak under the door and I hold my breath. Tyler curses and is silent for a moment. I shut my eyes. Just go away.
"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I...I would never try to trigger you. That's just cruel. I wasn't trying to...I didn't mean to..." He sighs. "I'm sorry, Rory. I really am."
I wait for his footsteps to leave before I allow myself to relax again. I'm not sure what he was trying to gain from that, but I know I will never allow myself to be that close to him again. Ever.
How are we feeling about Tyler's near confession?
Please don't forget that voting is the easiest way to support this story 🥰
rae <3