HARPER'S POV:
"Please tell me you got her a present?", I ask Irvin, pleading in my head to him say 'yes'.
"Yeah, but it is not down there, it is upstairs", he says. He better has something for her, or I will have to hear everything all over again.
"I got something for you. I hope you like it.... I really do hope that" , this present isn't like others that we can trade or send back to the store.
"You didn't have to, but I'm sure I'll love it.". He says and continue: "And, I just got to know that some people are coming for Christmas, such as my mother, that invited Peter, Jack, Zach and my sister", and here goes my plan of giving him his present tonight.
"Wait, sister?", I asked him.
"Yeah, I don't talk to her. She makes no difference in my life. She and my grandfather, which is dead"
"WOAH, he was alive, wasn't he? Like not long ago?"
"Yes, but I didn't feel the need to tell you. He wasn't that close to me. And my sister, she is around you age, she is... 23, annoying creature" wait, she was annoying due to her age? Am I annoying?
"It is Christmas, don't get any family fight in here, please? And when they get here?"
"Well, Jack lives here, so soon. Zach too, with his wife and the kid", he says and rolls his eyes, an annoyed sigh. "Mom arrives for lunch with my sister"
"You don't like kids?"
"It is not that. It is just .... they don't stop, they talk too much, run around and put their hands on everything and here, there are a lot of white things here and .... I don't even want to see the end of it"
"Yeah...", and here goes my present. No. I don't care. He will see the present and then we talk. "Come, have breakfast"
"Harp, it is almost lunch and they are almost here"
"Just come, I made your favourite"
"Then why aren't you in the bed?", he pulls me to him, with a very boyish look.
"Irvin, just sit here, and I'll go get it", he sat still and nodded. Oh my god, it is now or never. I look at him and I see he by the table, with his back facing me. "Hey, I hope like it", he straight himself up. I put the covered tray in front of him. He takes the silver top and put it to the side.
"You want me to eat a box?", he said confused.
"Open it", I say. I sit on the arm of his chair and wait for the reveal.
"What is this?", he took a little blue shoe made of wool, a baby bodysuit and a transparent pacifier. "are you pregnant?", he said not believing his own words.
"Yes", I said it low. "Did you like it?", I was afraid of his answer. He just told me kids mess things around, and yet I am here, giving him one. "Merry Christmas?"
"Merry Christmas. I love the present", when I heard that I felt like a hundred pounds were taken from my back. He pulls me down from the chairs arm and hug me. "Why are you crying?"
"Because you just said a lot of negative things about children and I panicked and now it is like a elephant got off my back", he kisses me.
"I love it.", we just stay there. "Wait, how far are you?"
"About four months", I smile.
"So, it is a boy?"
"Yeah! I thought the colour was kind of suspicious, no?"
"Yes, of course", he said, still a little out of himself. "Wait, you are not...round?", I laugh by his choice of word.
"When Sam went to see that doctor, I stayed a few minutes inside and told her the situation. She confirmed the pregnancy and the baby's health. It is developing normally, and I did gain some weight. And I do have a belly." I put my shirt up and the bottom of my belly is round, small, but round. "See, I do have one. I didn't show it to you but here he is"
"I didn't know I was pregnant, and when she confirmed that I was, I panicked because we drank in my birthday, but she told me he is fine"
"It was in your birthday?", he asks, and it makes me a while to understand.
"Nope, a week before my birthday.... He is due to April, someone in the family that doesn't have the birthday in the end of the year."
"The creampie compilation. The living example that the next day pill not always work", he jokes.
"Morning.... Good morning", We hear Sam's groggy voice. "I'm hungry", she announces. "why are you two all glowing?"
"It is Christmas morning!", I say, trying to cheer her up.
"Can we skip to the part that we open the presents?", she says. someone is moody this morning. "What is all this stuff?", she looks at Irvin's present, and I thought something would click in but nothing.
"I go something for you, Sam", I go to the kitchen and get a box of donuts.
"Where did you find Dunkin Donuts in this hell hole? Now I'm awake", she says. As she opens the box, I see that she takes one and bites on it and look forward to the box upper part. "Are you kidding me?"
"No Sam, I'm not", she hugs me tightly. 'Don't smash the baby, please', we hear Irvin's voice, and he is in fact worried, I giggle due to his preoccupation.
"I'm happy for you. I do prefer a dog though. I like being an only child, no offence"
"Sam, there are three dogs laying behind you. And you will like him"
"HIM?", she screamed. "I said I wanted a sister not a brother"
"That is on you dad. He chose the gender", I know she understands these stuffs. She isn't stupid and she isn't a little kid anymore.
"But when did you have sex? He is always working. And don't do the 'baby arrived with a pigeon' because I know it didn't", she asked as if I was in fact going to tell her.
"I guess he is not always working then", I say. I fell him moving behind me, uncomfortable with the subject. I guess for him, as a dad and as a man, is hard to talk about sex with his own kid. "And it wasn't a pigeon", I laughed.
"I guess I'll eat the donuts and forget the image of you two..."
***
"Harper this is Viola, my sister"
"Hey, nice to meet you. He finally settled down.", she chuckled. I feel a little uncomfortable, maybe because her personality makes presence. She laughs and people genuinely look at her. She is perfect, but weirdly have a dark blond hair, different from Irvin and Peter, whose hair are black.
"You have an accent", Sam says. "I didn't like her accent, Harp, I prefer yours", I want to kill Sam right now. She is tall, bigger than me and with long nails, if she wants to kill me, the only thing she has to do is bump on me. I squeeze her arm and she get she is not supposed to be saying things like that. Sam doesn't do well with strangers. She is my little ginger chihuahua, angrier than a Pitbull.
"You didn't change kid", Lily says. "But you became domestically at least", Lily mocked Sam and gave her a hug. "Loved the hair, by the way. It fits you, better than that washed blond, like you aunt Vi's hair. Horrible". Hearing them talk like that give me stomach butterflies, or was I about to get sick? The doctor said it would get better, but it is not. She said some women stop getting sick some don't. But really, she said that about her own daughter, what does she says about me? "Excuse me, I'll be right back", I say. I cover my mouth and when I see that I was far from them I rush into the bathroom. I didn't eat one molecule of anything, but I keep getting sick and Jack said I have to keep hydrating. Well he doesn't know I'm pregnant, but he told me to keep drinking water.
"It wasn't the chocolate, huh?", Irvin bends on his knees and helps me. He holds my hair back.
"You have no idea how good is to not hold it back. I wanted to surprise you with the pregnancy. But I planned to say in your birthday, but I couldn't hide this anymore. And I'm tired of getting sick every time I breath. I'm tired, I don't feel well"
"I understand you. My mom went through that with my sister. She had depression but he kept going and it all worked in the end. Just tell me everything, don't hide, and don't think I'm too busy, because you are my priority now, got it?"
"Yes.... Thanks"
"Don't thank me, it is my duty right now and forever"
"Let's get back.... until Sam says something she shouldn't"
***
"Look here, you little prick, I'm not a giraffe", Oh my god, what is Sam doing right now. "Brother control your pincher, please", excuse me? She is a chihuahua, my ginger chihuahua, and nobody picks a fight with her.
"Come here Sam, what happened?", I asked her.
"She looked me weirdly. Judging me. I didn't like it, so I called her a giraffe, you know, the big neck and the big feet. Did you see her feet? They are huge. She is pretty but, her feet aren't. And I discovered, she is his half-sister, that is why she isn't that pretty like dad and uncle Peter", she does some faces. She got this in a matter of ten minutes I was out, and I guess she met and liked Peter. "Your feet are tiny, beautiful and delicate, she isn't delicate, her feet are enormous. I bet if we let her loose in the woods, the next day there will thousands of news and reportages about 'The Big Foot'". God, she didn't like the woman, not one bit. "And her hair, is totally dry. Her eyes are boring, yours are colourful and hypnotizing. Her boobs are fake, in fact she is all fake. Her nose is fake too..."
"Sam, I got it", I wanted to laugh. I noticed somethings here and there when she arrived, but she is beautiful and whose feet are perfect? "Sam, don't call her fake...."
"But she isn't originally like that", she cut my words.
"Sam do not talk when I'm talking", I say firmly. She stays quiet. "If, on the future, I want to change my body, I'll. Not matter if it is my boobs, belly, legs, or nose, I don't care. Medias say shit about plastic surgery, stereotypes or be in the trend of the moment, but if you don't feel good when you look at the mirror, you can change it. She did it the easiest way. Some can choose other way, but that doesn't matter she did something bad. Plastic surgery is not something bad, ok? Do never call her fake again or judge her because of her choices."
"But she was judging me...", she says with a high-pitched voice.
"Don't talk when I am talking!", I clench my jaw. "It is Christmas, so I'll let you have it but tomorrow morning I want your phone, in my hands, without me asking for it, got it? I want it in my hand", she nodded.
"So unfair", she murmurs.
"I don't care what she did. You are going to treat her well. I'm not asking for you to be her best friend, just greet her and let her be.", she nods. "good now, we are going back to the living room and you are apologizing"
We get to them and they are all sat down on the couch. Peter is with Zach, talking about something. Zach's wife is holding the little boy in her lap, playing with him. "All good?", Irvin whispers to me, I just give him a short nod with a small smile. 'sorry', I hear Sam saying to Viola. I see Sam coming back and she doesn't sit next to me, she chooses her father this time.
***
"Dinner is ready everyone", Lily says.
"AH! Underbart, jag svälter", Viola says in Swedish. If she thinks she is saying something me and Sam won't understand she is very mistaken. It took me a while to get the language, I'm still learning but I can speak, and Sam is learning it too.
(Wonderful, I'm starving)
"Perfekt, låt oss äta då", I say. One thing the boarding school thought me was to be very meticulous with everything I do. I trained my accent; it is not perfect but is good enough. Irvin looks at me, surprised. He put his napkin on his thigh. I sit beside him, and I see, from the corner of my eye, his smirk.
(Perfect, let's eat then)
I look at the table and this got to be a joke. It is a whole pig. "I hope you all like, it took me a whole week to just find this thing and it stayed more three days cooking in the fire", Lily says, serving everybody a piece of the meet. I look at that and all I could remember was the pig Irvin found and he is eating normally, enjoying even. "Thank you, Lily", I thank her, but I don't this. What a difficult Christmas.
***
"The best time, finally", she walks to the living room.
I get inside the kitchen before going back to everyone. I need some time. I manage to eat a few pieces of meat but that is not why I'm sick. I lean against the kitchen counter and take a breath. I keep taking deep breaths until I feel that I had enough of extra oxygen. "OH, here you are", Viola says. "I'm so tired from the flight", she says, while getting some water. "kids are difficult. What Sam did was unexpectable and intolerable. You did right"
"I did, yes. But also, did she. Don't you ever, look at her, judging her. You don't know me, and you don't know her. I thought her how to be polite, not stupid. She won't keep her mouth shut if something bothers her."
"Then, you know very well, she will get herself killed", she says, all full of herself.
"If you really think that you don't know Irvin, do you? He is capable of everything to keep us, her, save. That I have no doubt. So, don't give him reason. And never speak with her the way you did. She might not be my daughter, biologically speaking, but she is mine, by heart. And one thing I won't do is let people get to her, in a bad way."
"I believe we had a misunderstanding, Harp", she friendly says.
"Harper.", I correct her. She excuses herself. Such an up-nose bitch.
"I know you are hearing, Sam?"
"Hey, sorry"
"That is ok", I say.
"Why can you tell her off and I don't?"
"Sam, sometimes you got be aggressive but others, we just sit and listens, until it is time to talk back. Remember, we have two ears and one mouth", she nodded. "Know the time to sit, listen and lower you head, but never, turn off your hearing, never be stupid. Not being stupid doesn't mean talking back all the time, but to know when to talk and know what to say, is vital.", another thing I brought with me form boarding school.
"I love you and you are my mother by heart too", she hugs me.
"Let's get back", we exit the kitchen and I find Irvin looking at me, with a smile. I retribute it. 'Behave, yes?", she whispers a yes back to me.
"I don't know what you did, but she came back with her tail between her legs.", he says, kissing my lips.
"Here", Jack hands me a flute with champagne. He kept insisting.
"She can't, Jack", Irvin places his hands on my bottom belly.
"No way! You baking? shawty, you do naughty things?", Peter says in his playfully tone. "Congrats, bro and you too Harp"
"Hey, make your own nickname", Irvin says, not once letting me get away from him. He is jealous because of the nickname? I'm the one with the hormones and he is acting stranger.
Lily comes and talks to me for a while, then Zach's wife comes too. Viola too and Jack. In the end I saw Zach coming in my direction. "Hey, look, wow, I remember you in diapers and now you the one buying them. Congratulations.", he says. funny thing, I remember you leaving., I thought but I would have done the same. I would have left too.
"Congrats to you too. I didn't know you were married and had a boy", I look over to the little boy, Oliver, sleeping on the couch. "I'm sorry for the last time we saw each other. It was not your fault"
"That is ok."
***
"Which are mine?", Sam asked. Everyone gave her a present, but not Irvin, not yet. "You forgot again?", she is shocked. "Harp, this is so unfair", I gave her something, just in case he really forgot about it, which I hardly thing that would happen.
"No, I just forgot to put down here, one minute", he says and rush upstairs. He comes back after a few minutes with a big box with a bow on top. It is pink and white. Now even I'm curious to see it. She is anxious to open it, but he uses the stair slowly, careful not to let it fall.
"Can I open now?", he hands her the box. She asks me and I nod. When she removed the cover, and I don't know if I kill him or .... Him. "a puppy?", she screams.
"Now she has a brother and a dog.", he whispers to me.
"And you know who is going to have to look after it when she is out? ME!", I whispered back. "Couldn't you have bought a fish. We could put it in the lake, and I wouldn't need to have one more job", I look at the puppy and it is just a ball of fur, cute. "What breed is it?"
"Alaskan Malamute"
"Are you crazy? It is going to get bigger than boss. Imagine how much it eats. What about its mess?"
"tell her to do it or, we have staff Harp, relax. Isn't it cute?", he asks me.
"Sure, but couldn't you have given her a cooker spaniel or whatever smaller than a malamute?"
"I don't like small dogs, and before she asked for one, I gave her a big and fluffy one.", he says as if he did the best thing in the world. Where was his head? Max is big and clumsy, Boss is big and he doesn't make an effort to get out of the way if he lays in the middle of the hallway, and Dust is grumpy and now a malamute: big, furry, heavy and it has pray instinct and we live in the middle of the fucking forest and Irvin did really think it was going to be a good idea? Plus, a baby.
"I don't care, when the baby is born, I want all four of them outside, if possible, in the channels, at least until the baby learns not o pull the tail, ears and their fur. What were you thinking, Irvin?"
"Relax, she is happy, and the baby will do just fine with the dogs. They have the same mental age", he said, thinking he was saying the smartest thing
"No Irvin, you have the same mental age".
I love the dogs, but they are not little and they even try to be gentle but it is in vein. The baby is going to be nothing compared with their size.
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