(Y/N) could have sworn Dumbledore hated her, or was her punishing for something. Not that the old man put that much effort into making teams or cared that much about the gossip inside the Order. However, she could have sworn he did this on purpose.
James Potter, of course it was James Potter that she was paired with for this mission for the order.
Over the past year of joining the order, fresh out of Hogwarts, (Y/N) had been lucky enough to avoid James completely. Most order meetings consisted of a handful of members, not wanting risk everyone being in one place. So it was rare for her to see any of the Marauders, let alone James himself.
But now, here (Y/N) was, sitting in a shop just across from a known Death Eaters hideout location, waiting for James to arrive.
Who was late.
(Y/N) tried not to be surprised, of course James was late. It had been one of their biggest issues during their relationship. Not to mention that James didn't seem to care about how she felt or what she wanted or needed. Nothing major. (James' words not hers).
The bell on the door to shop rang lightly as too signal someone entering. However (Y/N)'s eyes were still trained on the entrance of the building across the alley, taking note of every person she saw enter in and out.
"I know I'm late." A classic line, (Y/N) said and rolled her eyes, not even bothering to look up at James as he pulled out a chair across from her. "I'm sorry."
That caught (Y/N)'s attention, she had never known James to be the kind of person to apologize for his actions, regardless of if he should have. She flickered her gaze to his with a raised eyebrow, "Okay." (Y/N) cleared her throat, "How do you want to do this? I brought some Polyjuice or we could use the cloak if you've brought it."
Not only were (Y/N) and James suppose to note who came in and out of the Death Eaters hide out, they were also suppose to get inside the building in order to do some recon. James had suggested that they tamper with or steal something while inside, completely missing that the idea was to gain information without anyone knowing they had been there.
"Oh." James said, looking down at his hands as they were sat clasped on the table between he and (Y/N). "I suppose Polyjuice could be fine, I was going to suggest just walking in." He said, leaning back, taking a quick glance over his shoulder, and looking back at her with a soft grin.
"You have got to be kidding me." (Y/N) laughed, "James they are not just going to let us walk in there, what if it's Malfoy at the door?" She told him, huffing in annoyance. "It really is a miracle you're still alive." (Y/N) meant for it to come out teasingly, the way she had used to talk to him. However instead, her response had be sharp tongued as if she had aimed to hurt him.
A surprised, and almost hurt look flashed across his face, "Alright then." It took James only a moment to regain his composure, pushing down his hurt expression and speaking again. "Who did you suppose we impersonate?"
A sly smirk rose on (Y/N)'s lips, "Well who better than Lucious and Narcissa?"
James let out a howl of laughter, "Blimy, how did you manage to get a hold of some of each of their hair? Actually don't tell me, I'm afraid." He told her, watching her as she began pulling out two large canisters.
(Y/N) crinkled her nose, "Trust me you don't want to know."
It tasted disgusting, that was for sure. Both (Y/N) and James tried to hold the potion down and not to gag in public as they chocked down the potion.
"We should get going." James muttered, standing up abruptly and dashing towards the bathroom. "Before someone sees our hair turn white." He tried to joke, holding a hand over his mouth.
(Y/N) didn't give James a verbal response, instead she nodded and jumped from her seat as well.
As (Y/N) stumbled out of the bathroom she caught slight of herself, scrubbing her eyes as in front of her was no longer her own familiar face. Rather she saw the white underlay of hair that Narcissa had, a dark line of black eyeliner on her eyes and a wicked smile in darker and puller lips.
"Godric." James practically gaped behind her. "I knew you'd look like that but -" He cleared his throat and shook his head. "I guess I wasn't prepared for it."
(Y/N) almost cringed as she turned around, taking in James - who now had stark white long hair - as Lucious. "Me too."
James took a soft step towards her, now standing closer that he had been in over a year now. "I do prefer your hair to this." He took her, taking a soft strand of her - Narcissa's - hair in his - Lucious' - rough hand.
Although James looked like Lusious Malfoy, his mannerisms made it clear that it was still him. One of James' favorite things to do had been playing with (Y/N)'s hair.
"Sorry." James said, dropping her hair and stepping back.
(Y/N) shook her head. "It's okay." She cleared her throat and looked back up at him, stepping back into his space and laced her fingers with his. "We're suppose to be a couple aren't we?"
James tensed under her fingers, feeling his heart lodge in his throat. "We are."
"So let's go dear." She could had slapped herself for calling him that. An old pet name she had given him fourth year after James and the other Marauders had illegally become annamegus' to help Remus out on full moons. (Y/N) hadn't called James by that name anytime recently.
James seemed startled by her use of the pet name, but decided it best to just nod in agreement and follow her out of the shop. As the two dipped out into the Alley way James could feel as if someone's eyes were on them, but he knew better than to search around for a pair of eyes. Rather James slipped his hand on the small of (Y/N)'s back and began leading towards the Alley with the same arrogance that rolled off of Lucious.
(Y/N) leaned into his hand, a mannerism that was more her than she imitating Narcissa. No matter how little she and James were talking, even the smallest touches from him seemed to calm her.
The door to the Death Eaters layer wasn't locked, in fact (Y/N) and James simply walked right in to the building with no fuss. (Y/N) had expected someone to slide open a peep hole and demand some stupid password from them.
"Not very good protection, especially when it's this easy to look like someone else." James muttered, his head dipping so close to her head that (Y/N) could almost feel his lips crush against her ear.
(Y/N) gripped his forearm, "Hush, someone will hear you." She scolded him, rolling her eyes to fain causality.
"I'm just saying." James responded with a soft grin.
"We've got to get to the second floor, then the room we're looking for should be on the left." (Y/N) told him, minding her posture when she remembered that Narcissa always stood perfectly straight.
She wasn't sure what she expect as they made their way down the hall, but everything was completely normal. The walls we not covered in shrines to the Dark Lord, or smeared with blood, or carved with the signature snake. In all honesty, (Y/N) thought that it looked similar to many of the meeting places the Order had.
"Should be this-"
"Hush." James said harshly, perking his head up - similarly to that of his animagus - and widening his eyes. "Dammit." He hissed under his breath, one arm hooking around (Y/N)'s arm and pulling her into a room opposite from the office they needed to enter.
"What in Godrics-" (Y/N) yelped, latching on closer to James as her back was met with the wall. "What is wrong with you?" She hissed at him, feeling her hands come in contact with his chest.
James placed a finger on her lips, "Please stop talking." He begged her, his eyes wild as he leaned an ear back against the door.
After a few short moments (Y/N) understood what he meant, because two far too familiar voices caught her ears. Her eyes widened as she now looked up at James, noticing just how close he really was to her. Only someone with hearing as perfect as his would have heard both the Malfoys from opposite sides of the building, or maybe it was the irritation Lucious caused him.
As voices passed by the closest that (Y/N) and James the only sound that (Y/N) found herself focusing on was the sound of James breathing. Her eyes were trained on the rise and fall of his chest, listening to the sharp and rigid breathes he took. The only time that (Y/N) had seen James as anxious as this was on mornings after a full moon.
She also remembered one of things that calmed him down. (Y/N) reached a hand down to lace her fingers with his, rubbing her thumb across his palm - drawing soft circles on his skin. She shot him a quick glance before leaning to rest her head against his chest, feeling both of their hearts stop for a single moment when her skin touched his shirt.
(Y/N), despite the situation, found herself safe in his arms. Of course she could feel her pulse racing against her skin, but just the feeling of being close to James again made her feel better.
Silence feel between them, not that (Y/N) noticed until James spoke. "I think we're all clear, they passed by to the room down the hall." His voice was still hushed, despite claiming that they were alone. "So we should probably get going, get what we need and leave."
(Y/N) did register his words, but however she could not move. All she wanted was to move closer to James, ignoring the fact they were not together. It had been far too long since she had been in his arms, felt his breath against her skin and his hands on her skin.
"(Y/N)."
She shook her head, pulling back from him and looking up. "Right, lets go."
James held his gaze on her for a moment, hand resting on the handle and looking as if he wanted to say something, before he nodded and opening the door for them.
***
(Y/N) was glad to look like herself again. She had decided that James was right, her hair was definitely what she preferred. (Y/N) had also decided she had spent far too much time thinking about James in the past few days.
It had been a few days since she had heard anything from James, not that it was unusual. He had checked in on her the day after their mission, to see if she was still nauseous from the potion. Which was far more consideration she had every really gotten from him during their whole relationship.
The problems in their relationship had been a handful of things. The first being James' wanting you spend all his time with his friends or at the quidditch pitch, leaving (Y/N) feel as if there was no point in their relationship. The second being the fact that James could never remember when they made plans, showing up late or just not showing up at all. The third a final being the real reason, he did not make her a priority.
Of course (Y/N) was not dumb or naive enough to believe that just because she still loved him or that he called her once meant that their relationship would be perfect. However, she had decided that maybe it was worth working on though.
"This is ridiculous." She hissed to herself, wondering why she hadn't decided to change before leaving the house.
(Y/N) had spelled herself from her home, to the door steps of James' parents home, which he was now occupying with the other three Marauders. It had been so last minute that she hadn't even taken the time to change out of her pajamas, as it was nearing the end of the night.
"They're probably all asleep." (Y/N) spoke to herself, then huffed and half turned around on the porch. "If you don't talk to him, you never will." She reminded herself, turning back around swiftly to face the door again. (Y/N) had to admit that if anyone could see her they would laugh, she looked ridiculous spinning in circles on the porch. "Okay." She mumbled, calming herself long enough to reach her hand out. The next thing she knew, (Y/N) saw her hand press the door bell.
Panic rose in her throat as she heard a soft rustle from the room behind the door, the living room of the Potters home. Part of her thought about spelling herself away, or even just running down the street, to play some kind of Ding-Dong-Ditch. However she could practically hear Sirius or Marlene mocking her for not being a true Gryffindor by running away.
All thoughts of Sirius and Marlene immediately flew out of (Y/N)'s mind as the front door opened, flooding the porch she stood on with light from the living room.
Standing in front of her was James, illuminated by the light from behind him, creating a shadow that lined (Y/N)'s face. Both of them stood only a few feet apart gazing at the other for a few moments.
"Are you okay?" James asked, liking her up and down, not once but twice, before meeting her eyes again. Although it was late at night, James still looked wide awake. He was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, a usual look for him, but his hair was still perfectly in place and his eyes were not dropped as she remembered them in late nights in the Common Room.
(Y/N) nodded, "I'm fine." She reassured him, knowing the in the state of their world James was right to panic when she showed up at his doorstep. They hadn't really spoken in months, apart from their single mission together and one phone call. There was no reason for her to be here. "I wanted to talk to you."
James chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "The last time you said that, it didn't end too well for me." A joke about their breakup, something to wast the obvious concern and discomfort that was clear in his demeanor.
When (Y/N) let out a soft and awkward giggle, which did make James smile lightly. He then side stepped and offered her an invitation into his home. (Y/N) looked down for a moment as she passed by him, slipping off her shoes and jacket. James was quick to take her jacket from her, making (Y/N)'s cheeks flush red and she mumbled a thanks to him.
"You wanted to talk?" James asked her as they entered the living room. He was quick to fall back into his place on one side of the couch. "You can sit." He laughed, noticing that (Y/N) was still standing.
(Y/N) shook her head, "I think it might be easier to leave if I stay standing."
James drew his eyebrows together, "Leave? You've just got here." The humor that had been in his tone since her arrival was nearly gone now, sensing the seriousness of the reason for her visit.
Truthfully, (Y/N) was not a fan of the serious look that James wore, she much rather preferred him with his head thrown back mid laugh. The last time she had seen this kind of look on his face had in fact been the day they broke up. The interaction had started almost the same - greeting at the door, with a kiss instead, moving to the living room and then beginning to speak.
"I still remember the way you taste." (Y/N) blurted out, almost slamming her hand over mouth as her admition came out. She then sighed, running her hands over her face before speaking again. "I didn't think I did, but I do. I remember the way you taste and you move and you speak but-" (Y/N) her words got caught in her throat, finally looking up at James for a second. "But I couldn't remember the way you smelled, until the other day."
James blinked are her for a moment, pure surprise written across his face. His hands had now stilled in his lap, leaving his body rigid against the count.
(Y/N), for the first time, couldn't read James. He had always been an open book to her, whenever he was lost in class or angry about something; (Y/N) knew immediately. However, now, standing across from him, (Y/N) could not pick up on anything. She tried to study him, to hear his thoughts from the table, but (Y/N) couldn't even see the wheels turning in his head.
"Spiced Cinnamon and Vanilla." James spoke, his eyes still boring into hers with far too much steady ness. "Sometimes it's like a fruity kind of thing, but generally it's cinnamon and vanilla." He smirked at her, shrugged once and spoke again. "That's what you smell like."
She stared at him with a half lax jaw, feeling her heart clench in her chest at his words. (Y/N) never would have guessed that James could have answered that question during their relationship, let alone almost a year after their break up.
"I know I was an ass." James continued, registering that his last statement had already shaken (Y/N). "I could go on and on about all the things I did wrong, but it would be a waste of time."
(Y/N) smiled, "We can do that some other time."
The humor in her tone made James break a soft smile. "Since we're still being overtly honest, I miss you." James admitted, not even a trace of shame in his tone.
(Y/N) once again was shocked by James' words, "Wow, I came here thinking it would be like pulling teeth with you."
"You weren't wrong to think that." He shook his head, rising to his feet and brushing his sweatpants. "Especially based on how I use to act."
"So you're saying you've changed completely?" She didn't believe him, it was always the same. (Y/N) had learned that James often times promised lots of things that he couldn't keep, but he had also refused to accept when he did things wrong.
James shook his head, "Absolutely not." He told her, moving so now James was almost as close too her as he had been in the closet. "But I am saying that I'm trying."
(Y/N) almost felt relieved, for once James was owning up to his mistakes and accepting some kind of responsibility. Mimicking the actions of their mission, she took hold of his hand. There was a small twitch in his hand as (Y/N) took hold, his nerves displayed on his face and in stance.
"I miss you too." Small circles was the shape she chose to draw on his skin. "I mean obviously or else I wouldn't have come over at this hour - or Godric what day of the month is it?" She asked him, glancing behind them towards the staircase.
"We're still a couple weeks out from a full moon if that's what you're worried about, Moony probably sitting at the top of the stairs trying to peel Pads from listening in." James told her, tasing his head towards the stairs and raising his voice as if the recons half of his sentence was meant for his friends rather than her.
(Y/N) laughed, hearing Sirius and Remus hiss at each other at the top of the stair case. She leaned forward and set her head against his chest, feeling his heart skip for a second before returning to a elevated rhythm.
"So what now?"
James squeezed her hand, almost shivering as her fingers danced over his exposed palm. "I suppose we go on a date, are you free tomorrow for breakfast?"
(Y/N) nodded, "Of course I am, but do you really want to get up that early?" She told him, doubt clear on her face as she looked up at him.
"You know I'm a sucker for a good omelette." James joked, "But if you're worried I'll be late, you're more than welcome to stay the night."
"James!" She exclaimed, raising her head from his chest and looking at him with shock. "You cannot invite me to spend the night when we haven't gone on our first date yet."
He rolled his eyes, "Our first date was in fifth year, and we've spent the night together probably a hundred times or more." James explained to her, "No pressure, but don't make it sound like we don't know each other." He chuckled.
(Y/N) laughed with him, "I suppose you're right, and I am rather tired."
"See, I told you so."
"Don't say that." (Y/N) she shoved his shoulder, "I'm stealing clothes from you though."
James took hold of her hand again, pressed his lips to her temple and began towards the stairs, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
~~~~~~~~
a/n
word count: 3650
this is so long and took wayyyyy too much time to write