Leah POV
Jace in the sun was both shockingly beautiful and soul bursting, filling my heart with something I could only call love. The fact that vampires sparkled in the sun had always been sort of eerie to me, unsettling. But the way she looked now, gleaming like diamonds as the sun sat in the middle of the sky, my perspective had changed to say the least.
The irony of it was that she had no idea.
We had sat on a log in our path, sitting and talking like normal people. But she sat on the side where the sun streamed in through the mountain trees, completely oblivious to how ethereally stunning she really looked.
She was telling me about a story from when she was younger, her mother had made cookies and she'd eaten all of them, unable to help herself. The image of five year old Jace crawling to stand on a chair to sneakily eat cookies made me chuckle. When her mom walked back into the kitchen to see all of the cookies gone; she hollered to Jace, automatically knowing it was her.
"My brother overheard her lecturing me and raced to the kitchen to defend me, not even realizing what was going on. He ran in and yelled, 'I did it! Jace didn't do it, I swear!' Of course, mom knew he was lying to protect me, and in turn started lecturing him about lying. It never worked though, because he spent the rest of our childhood protecting me from everything, and if he had to lie to do that he would." She had been smiling in the beginning of the story, reminiscing about her childhood. But now she looked down, almost sad.
"You miss him, don't you?" I asked. I hated to see her like this, her hair in her face, her eyes downward. She nodded and sighed.
"Enough of that, though." She forced a smile, looking back at me. "I feel like we've been talking so much about me, I want to know more about you."
"What do you want to know?"
"Earlier you were talking about before you phased, but you're hiding something. I understand if you don't want to talk about it." Her words almost slurred out too fast- she was afraid to offend me.
I internally winced. "You noticed that?"
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to." She assured me, her face all concern.
And that's what it was: concern. Curiosity. I took some solace in knowing that she wanted to know me- that meant that the effort I was putting into trying to get her to fall for me was working, even if it was little progress.
I inhaled a breath.
I wouldn't hide.
"Before phasing came into my life everything was perfect." I began. She perked up, completely facing me.
"I was in highschool, I was human and happy, and I had a wonderful boyfriend that I would marry in just a short few years."
Jace POV
"Sam Uley?" I gasped. She nodded, her lips zipped in a tight line.
I reverted back to the bonfire, when I witnessed the interactions of the couples on the beach. I hadn't talked to any of them, and I didn't know any of their names but I did know who Sam Uley was, the ex alpha of the pack. He had stopped phasing to be with his imprint, Emily, to marry her and grow old with her- they were trying to have kids. But they were still involved in pack matters, as Jacob frequently went to him for major decisions.
I hadn't paid attention to any one couple, but all of them as a whole. But I distinctly remembered having a glance at Sam and Emily- and it was hard to imagine that they had ever been apart. He moved with her- every little movement or gesture Emily made, he seemed to mirror it, like she was apart of him. Not to mention the way he looked at her- the unwavering love I could see between them had made me smile. It was hard to believe that Sam had ever been with anyone else- Emily was his and he was hers.
But then I did imagine it- Sam and Leah together, holding hands just as Leah and I did now. An irrational anger lit my chest at the thought. Jealousy nearly clouded my vision. And then one thought, a thought that I hadn't realized I had until now had been in the back of my mind-
I didn't want Leah to be with anyone else. I wanted her to be with me. It was irrational, the feelings that rose in me when she talked about her relationship with Sam.
And the most irrational part of it all- it was painful. A hurt that ached in my chest, nearly equal to what I felt when I thought of my brother- the thought of not being with her.
I'd never felt it before, so what was I supposed to do with it?
Tell her? How?
How do I say, "Oh, by the way, my chest hurts at the thought of being without you"?
What would she say to that? Did she feel even a fraction of what I was now feeling for her?
She told me about his disappearance, the hurt that came with it. She thought he'd fallen out of love with her, and then that pain grew as he confirmed it- and then Emily visited and he imprinted on her.
"Of course, at the time I had no idea that an imprint had anything to do with it." She spoke with sadness clouding her voice. "I thought I wasn't enough for him, I was worthless." Her hazel eyes, fierce and bright in the sun, were boring into mine, looking at me with something familiar, but I couldn't place it. "But I'd been wrong."
I could see it clear as day now, the pain she had been hiding. She was revealing a part of herself.
"I'm sorry Leah. You deserve so much better than that." I held her hand in both of mine now, cradling it with all of the feelings I had swarming inside me. Unexpectedly, she smiled.
"It's okay, I understand now. It doesn't hurt anymore. It's not something he could control, and while I was bitter for a while, I understood he had no intention of making me feel that way. He was remorseful even, and apologized profusely." The familiar gleam appeared in her eyes again as she looked at me, nearly knocking out any oxygen I had in my lungs. "Any pain I felt was my own fault, I realize that now. If I had just let go, it would have made things easier for everyone."
I shook my head. "No, I don't blame you for being bitter. That's not an easy thing to go through. And that wasn't all of it, was it?"
Her eyebrows scrunched together. "How would you know that?"
I smiled. I was right.
"It was a combination of it all, right? Your father's death, Sam, phasing? It was overwhelming, it was too much. That's what made it so painful."
An awed expression painted her features. "You're seeing right through me." She leaned away slightly, looking down. She was hiding again. I took the hand I held between my palms and pressed it against my chest.
"Leah, you don't have to hide anything from me." This caught her attention, she tensed.
"Can you read minds too?" I laughed.
"No, definitely not." I inhaled a breath, trying to build the courage to show her what I was getting at.
"I went through the same thing. Or, I'm going through the same thing. Maybe not to the extent of your experience, but I relate to the feelings brought with it."
Her face softened, her eyes somehow even fiercer.
"I'm sorry." Her free hand reached for my face, holding my jaw in the palm of her hand. I turned to mush, leaning my face into it.
"Sucks, doesn't it?" I said, only half-joking. She smiled half-heartedly.
We sat for a moment, with my hugging her hand to my chest and her free hand holding my face gently. A deep sense of understanding, a deep sense of connection passed between us in that moment.
"What is it that overwhelms you?" She asked suddenly.
I thought about it for a second.
"Like I said, the combination of it all. The vampire crap, losing my brother, all of this new information being thrown at me. But this makes it easier." I closed my eyes, memorizing the warmth of her hand against my cheek.
"It does, doesn't it? I don't feel alone anymore. I feel.." She was searching for the right word.
"Seen." I finished, opening my eyes to see her expression. A heart breaking grin appeared on her face.
"Exactly." She paused. "I feel silly now."
"Why?"
"I was scared of what you would think of me, if you knew about Sam. About my dad. But you're being so kind."
"You don't give yourself enough credit, Leah. There's nothing to be ashamed of."
"But if I hadn't reacted the way I did, I wouldn't have phased. He wouldn't have died." Pain ached her voice. It created something in me, I wanted to take all of the hurt she felt. I reached out to her with a hand, clutching her arm.
"Leah, it's not your fault." I ran my hand up and down her arm, the one that was reached out to hold my face. "It was never your fault."
She took her hand away from my chest and placed it on the other side of my face, gripping me with a new conviction. Her eyes held the fierce expression I had seen over and over when she looked at me, and it was becoming frustrating that I didn't know what it meant.
"Would it be inappropriate to say that I really want to kiss you right now?" A beaming smile took over my face, hurting my cheeks. I must've been smiling from ear to ear.
"Definitely not." With that, she pulled my face to hers and our lips touched with a new feeling that lit my chest, and butterflies, different ones that I'd barely felt before swarmed and mixed with everything else I felt as I kissed her back.
And as I kissed her, as our lips moved together with a comfortable harmony; a realization smacked me in the chest.
Leah felt the same way I felt about her. She wouldn't have shared what she shared with me, she wouldn't have taken me here, she wouldn't be kissing me right now if her feelings didn't mirror mine.
With this realization, joy possessed my body, and I could no longer think. I kissed her fiercely now, clutching her arms in my hands and pulling her impossibly close to me, our chests melding together.
I wanted her to be mine and I wanted to be hers, I wanted to be with her. And it seemed she wished for the same thing.
I was suddenly so grateful I didn't need to breathe, I could kiss her for as long as I wanted without stopping. Unfortunately, it wasn't the same in her case and when I could feel her gasping for oxygen I reluctantly pulled my lips away from hers, but only that. We sat foreheads touching, holding each other and I listened to her heart as she caught her air. It was beating fast, unhealthily fast, and I would have been concerned if she wasn't a shape-shifting werewolf.
"Jace," She gasped, still trying to breathe. I tucked the hairs that fell in front of her eyes behind her ears- and the itch that had been bugging me since I first saw her this morning relieved itself.
"I've been waiting all day to do that." I giggled. Her eyes were closed and she opened them, looking into mine.
"Do you feel my heart?" She asked. I smiled at her.
"I do." I exhaled a breath.
"You did that." She breathed, smiling back at me.
"I did?"
"You did."
I had a confession.
"Leah?"
"Yeah?"
"I like you." I giggled. "I might even more than like you, I don't know. I've never done this before, but you're all I think about anymore."
She beamed, her face lit up with joy. She didn't say anything, but just kissed me again, and then kissed my cheeks and my forehead and my hands and my eyelids and then came back to my mouth, all within a flutter of her lips. She laughed freely as I curled up against her, giggling.
And when she pulled away, and looked at me with that same gleam that had been itching at my brain, I realized what it was.
She loved me.
And it was set in stone, and I wasn't afraid of my feelings anymore. Just as she loved me, I was most definitely, unconditionally and shamelessly in love with her.
-----
I stood at the top of the mountain, awed and breathless, hands joined with Leah.
"It's beautiful." I sighed.
Where we stood looked over a river, colors of the autumn painting the trees orange and red and yellow, and while the sun was out it had gotten chilly as we stood so high in the air. It smelled like lavender and pine, a fresh and welcoming scent to my nose.
"No." Leah gasped, and I was surprised to see her looking at me with an awed expression.
"What?"
"Jace, you're so oblivious it kills me." She laughed.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you have any clue at how beautiful you are? This," She referred to the view. "This has nothing on you."
I laughed at her claim.
"Right." Heavy sarcasm.
"No." She hummed, displeased. "Come with me." She tugged at my hand, leading me.
"Where are we going?" I was sad to leave the mountain top.
"You need to see yourself." I had no idea what she meant, but I followed her anyway.
We reached a stream in the rocks, a creek. It was shockingly clear, but I supposed it was the purity of the water in the mountain.
"Look." She gestured to the water. "Look at yourself."
I looked at my reflection, and was surprised to see how different I looked from this morning.
My hair had been neatly brushed, falling in waves around my face- but it was now a little wild. It didn't look bad, but it made my hair look thicker than it was. My expression was bright- like someone had painted sunshine on my features and I realized it wasn't that- I was happy. I was so happy my face looked different.
"Can you see it?" Leah asked me. I looked up at her, a smile dominating my face.
"Silly." I rolled my eyes, teasing her. Without hesitation now, I stepped towards her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her to me.
"I'm happy, you dummy. That's the difference." She grinned, and I saw the difference in her face too now. Her expression didn't look heavy anymore, but bright and fresh with joy. She looked like a kid, free and filled with a sense of carelessness. We seemed to have that effect on each other.
She sighed with content, running her hand down my hair.
"God, Jace." Her grin didn't falter. I smiled back at her with just as much joy.
"What is it?"
"I haven't felt like this in so long, like I can do anything. I feel like I'm going to burst." She laughed.
"Well get used to it, because you're not getting rid of me. It's too late." I clutched her tighter to emphasize my statement.
"I don't mind at all."
"You make me feel so human, Leah. It's like even when I was human, I didn't feel this way. I was this empty shell of a human, but not complete. Is this normal?" I was ranting, my words coming out of my mouth like bullets.
"No, it's not normal at all." She teased me. "But then again, is any of this normal? You're a vampire."
She leaned in to kiss me, but was interrupted by the sound of her stomach growling.
I burst out laughing. "Time to feed the werewolf."
She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I was too excited to eat breakfast earlier."
I tugged at her hand. "Come on, let's go to your house. I'll cook you something."