LIZZYS POV
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Day 22
"Come here," He whispered as he opened the door a little wider for me to come in, "hurry." He says. I take one last look through the hallway to really make sure no one sees myself entering Johnny's room before I do so.
Johnny closes the door and honestly tries to do it as quiet as possible. He turns around and watches me sit down on the bed until I look back into his eyes. "Hi." He breathes.
"Hi." I answer and smile briefly. He comes to sit down beside me and his hand finds their way around my waist and down on my upper thigh. I turn to look him in the face and get nothing but his oh so beautiful smile as a respond.
I try to not show any emotion to that but fail and smile back. Damn it.
"Are you alright?" Johnny asks in his low raspy voice. His eyes almost sparkle as he's watching me with the cutest doe eyed look I've seen in my life. I could cry. There's so much to be amazed by when looking at him. "Why wouldn't I be?" I ask back as if it was obvious (after I felt like speaking again).
"I don't know.. I only had such feeling." He shrugs and softly pushes a couple strands of my blonde hair out of my face. "Whatever," I sigh in an octave that's like a hundred under my usual, which surprised even me, and look the other way.
"Now I definitely know something's wrong! What is it?". There's concern in his eyes which I find really cute because I've barely done anything and still he reacts like it's huge stuff.
"Nothing." I exhale and mentally beat myself for acting this way. I'm sorry I feel like having to get attention but at the same time I hate myself for believing that.
"Then why did your voice go like this?" Johnny asks once more with his voice going just as low as I did, trying to mimic me.
"You like it that way, don't you. Just like you're all for tough girls." I say and look down to my lap as I'm pulling on the strand of my red skirt. He's gonna be so pissed.
It's silent for a moment and I'm sure he's taking all he got to try understand what the hell I'm talking about. Even I don't know. I'm not even sure what I want from the conversation we just have. But just as I was about to open my mouth to think of a probably super stupid explanation and excuse for my behavior Johnny sighed deeply, asking if I was talking about yesterday's movie.
"Please just forget about it, it was stupid of me bringing that up!" I cry and shake my head wildly. Now Johnny takes both my small hands in his bigger one's and waits for me to- to what? Say something? Do something?
I eventually lift my sight which turned out to be exactly what he was waiting for, "did I offend you in any kind of way with what I said yesterday?".
"No. No of course you didn't!" I assure him. "It just got me into thoughts. If I fit into your preferences.. of girls.". I wanna bury myself. Literally. Now that I spoke and actually formed the words that swapped through my mind I felt so stupid.
"Don't say that. I don't have any preferences of girls that I'd like to date. I've been together with different types of women and there's no such thing as a bias for me." Johnny calmly explains and rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. "You're good just the way you are. Amazing, sweet and breathtakingly beautiful in all kind of ways!" He smiles.
By the end of the (CuTeST) speech (eVeR) I was all overwhelmed. I smiled like a mess and I didn't feel sorry for it. It's unbelievably (almost scary) how special he makes me feel. If I was standing I would fall literally fall because of him making my knees all weak. Why would anyone ever give up that feeling? Voluntarily..
I shouldn't drool as much as I do. I honestly am not a big fan of guys making me feel that way. I feel weak. But for some reason it is alright with me when he does it. It's not wrong when he tells me I'm smart or beautiful. I only feel happy when he tells me that. Only happy.
"Thank you." I peep and let some strands of hair fall in my face again through which I smile widely. Johnny gently takes my chin between his thumb and pointing finger and tilts my head a little to press a kiss to my lips.
My eyes fall shut at the pleasuring feeling running through my whole body. I'm happy no one of us pulls away. We keep that kiss as a sweet and slow one, tasting each other. I'm not gonna go like 'he tasted like sweet honey' because what the fuck that's too much. He tasted like nothing, it's just a kiss.
It doesn't need him long until his hand leaves my chin again, now both grabbing onto my waist. Which is the place I like his hands the best. Johnny's soft lips hug mine just perfectly (now I'm going cheesy because dude! our lips are literally made for each other) as my fingers find their way to the back of his head. I move my hands through his thick, blonde hair and softly tug at it.
The room is quiet. There's a slight breeze running over my bare shoulders concluding that there must be an open window. Maybe that's why there's a faintly sound of the ocean. But besides that it's silent. I love it that way.
And I love how Johnny takes hold of my skirt to pull me onto his lap, now fully hugging and gently pressing me to his chest. Quickly pulling my hair behind my ears so it won't bother our actions I'm having my legs on each side of his lap.
I'm making out with thee Johnny Depp.
Oh how I wish I could tell everyone to make them bitches jealous!
We maybe kept making out for good five minutes but eventually laid down on the bed. Johnny hugged me to his waist as we talked about usual and unnecessary stuff. But I would talk about any topic just to hear his voice.
The vibration I can feel when laying my head on his chest is soothing as hell.
I've been thinking about something lately. I know I shouldn't 'cause there's more than one week until we go back home but I can't stop wondering what's going to happen once we separate. Me going back to France and him flying back to the US.
Will we exchange numbers? Visit each other and have phone calls every night?
Or does this turn out as a sort of vacation affair which actually doesn't mean a thing to him once he's gone? I really don't know. I can't imagine him going for option number too because Johnny is simply the nicest and most caring guy to exist on the whole planet. But on the other hand I doubt I mean as much to him as other women in his life.
Later that night it was me and Lily sharing a cigarette on the balcony just next to the room we shared. Because in the first place I'm on this vacation because of her, even though it might not have looked like that lately.
But who would've thought that I'd be falling for my best friend's dad?
It's a little colder now that it's almost 11 pm. With colder I mean comfortably warm. The sky has finally changed it's color to a dark blue, almost black, making all the millions of stars very visible. I already tried taking pictures of the night skies here but phones actually aren't capable to capture everything. Sad but I guess I'll have to trust ny memory.
I can't mention it enough but I could fall asleep at the sound of waves splashing to the beach every few seconds.
I'd just taken another drag from the lighting cigarette between my middle and pointing finger when Lily breaks the silence. "Can I ask you something?" She asks.
I blow out the smoke of my lungs through my nostrils when exhaling and nod my head while passing the cigarette back to her "sure.".
Though I said it was fine she waited another moment. It looked like she was throwing random words around in her mind to try put them into an understandable sentence. I only know that feeling too good.
"Are you-.. my dad... You're spending a lot of time with him lately." She says in an almost monotonous tone.
I swallow hard as my eyes widen. Oh God. How did she find out? Was it that obvious? Did she see me walking ti his room here and there? I exhale shakily and look down into my lap. I knew this moment would come but I didn't think it would come just now. We still have ten days to go. Damn it, I ruined everything. The vacation, the family, my friendships. Why did I agree to listen to my feelings? Why? Why was I such stupid kid?
"Lizzy?".
"L-listen, Lily, I am so sorry I-" my tongue failed me. I was panicking inside my mind. Like literally panicking. My breath got shorter and more hectic and my heart was beating so fast I could feel it in my throat. I knew I had to explain myself to Lily to simply have any chance of her understanding what I did to maybe even forgive me? I'm sure that'll never happen though. Oh God. This is going to kill me.
I try once more. "It.. it happened. I-I know it's wrong but," I take a deep Deep DEEP breath and exhale carefully, "it just happened. I can't even say how.. how sorry I am." I breathe.
It is then that she turns her head to look at me with a puzzled expression on her face. "What are you talking about?" She asks.
My face goes blank at her words and the more I blink the more the tears that already welled up in my eyes disappear. "W-What are you talking about?". I'm even more confused now.
"I was just saying you spent a lot of time with him.. I was wondering why." My best friend explains and switches her position to directly look at me.
I'm relieved but stressed at the same time. She doesn't know a thing. But I'll have to explain why I was talking bullshit.
"Oh, um" I stutter and quickly stretch out my hand to that cigarette in Lily's hand. She passes it to me without any protest. I move the cigarette to my lips and take a deep drag to get me calm. "I, uh, I just wanted to make it up to you. I case you felt offended." I say.
My lips form an o shape when releasing the smoke from my inside. "We're kind of just getting along really well. Besides me being a huuuge fan." I giggle.
Lily cracks a smile too. Then it's silent for a moment. We both seem to have disappeared into our own thoughts. But even though she's never said she felt weird or put as a disadvantage I assure her to spend more time with her.
Which is what I honestly should be doing.
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I'm totally gonna regret this once I'm sober again but damn guys I love y'all! Like when I first felt like writing a book I only did it to have some of my crazy ass ideas written out but now that people actually read and even like it it's getting so much more fun.
What's up with y'all? How are you? And what's your country doing against the virus right now? Germany will have another lock down on Wednesday I believe.
So not ready for it.
Whatever, have a good day/night!!
Byeyeyeyeeeeeee