We didn't see much of the game.
No.
Not because of that, you dirty mind! Because we ended up talking all night about everything and nothing. Just like we did in Denver a few weeks back, during our 'non-date'.
The night that everything started to change for me.
Something I couldn't admit to myself back then, for obvious reasons.
It was the first night I started seeing him for the guy he is and not just as the guy he wants the world to see. 'Just Hunter' turned out to be the better version of 'Hunter Rivers', in my humble opinion.
I was good at pretending it all didn't mean too much.
The chemistry, the kissing, the sex.
They were all casual, one time things. Or at least, that's what I had told myself.
But maybe I'm finally ready to admit that it's more than that.
"Whatcha smiling about, Mills?" he asks, when he sees the stupid grin on my face.
"Do you want the truth or the easy answer?"
"We've had this conversation before. The truth. Always the truth." He answers while looking at me expectantly.
"I was thinking about everything that has happened between us, these last couple of weeks," I say, while nervously biting my nails.
This is it. I'm going to tell him how I feel about him.
Shit.
Before I can gather enough courage to continue, he sighs and stands up from the couch. Making his way towards one of the huge glass windows overlooking the court. I can see him rubbing his neck before he starts talking. "Let me guess... You're going to tell me that it was fun while it lasted but that it isn't a good idea for us to take this any further, aren't you? You're going to tell me that you're a professional and that you don't want to risk your career for this. For me." The harshness in his tone tells me exactly how he feels - hurt.
He carries on with his speech before I get the chance to say anything. "What is it with you and that professionalism thing anyway. I know a lot of professionals and they are all very good at what they do but none of them are as freaky about it as you are."
Ouch.
He has a point though. I know I can be a little bit too tense about the whole thing.
It's just stupid he immediately jumped to conclusions. If he would have let me finish what I was about to say, this conversation would have been going a whole different direction.
"I'm sorry, Millie. I didn't mean it like that." He turns to face me, leaning against the glass behind him. "I just... I... look...I really like you and I hate how insecure it makes me. I'm not used to feeling like that." He says while rolling his eyes at me for the umpteenth time since we met all these months ago.
"You're lucky I like you too, even after the stupid things you just said," I say and take a Polaroid photo out of my bag, before walking over to him.
"It wasn't part of the plan to show you this tonight, but I guess now is as good a time as ever. " I shrug. Going on a date with him wasn't part of the plan either. I wonder if there even is a plan left to stick to at this point.
"This is me with my sister, Allison," I say while I hand him the picture I took out of my bag seconds ago.
"Whoa... There's two of you?" He says while tapping his finger against the picture.
"Yeah. She's my twin sister," I smile.
It's my favorite picture of us. We're holding each other, Alli's arms wrapped around my neck. I'm smiling at the camera, while she is sticking out her tongue. She's always been the rebellious one.
"She's the blonde, right?"
I nod. "She dyed her hair a week before this picture was taken. She hated it when people mistook her for me or the other way around. She originally wanted to dye it pink, but mom convinced her to try blonde first."
"You look so young. How old were you when this was taken?" He asks, and brings the picture closer to his eyes, examining it very thoroughly.
"Sixteen."
"It's cute, you both look so happy. I look forward to meeting her one day. Will she be coming to the show in New York?"
"No. She's won't be there." I hesitate for a second, asking myself if I should actually tell him the whole story.
"Look, I'm showing you this because she's the reason why I am the way I am. You know...kind-of uptight when it comes to work-related stuff."
"Kind-of?" He raises a brow and I roll my eyes in return.
"Shut up," I say while playfully smacking his arm. He nods his head at me, urging me to finish my story.
"The night this picture was taken, is the night my whole life changed. Alli and I were going to a concert of our favorite band. We stood front row and had the time of our lives. Our mom took the picture seconds before we left for the concert."
I still remember every detail of that night. I remember how hot it was that evening. I remember the air outside of the arena smelling like a mix of sweat and burgers. I remember Alli freaking out when the bass player winked at her and how we both started crying out of pure excitement.
We were exactly like the many girls that stand front row in Hunter's concerts. We didn't have a care in the world and couldn't be happier to finally see our idols. At that point in our lives, those five guys on stage were the most important people on the planet for us.
"After the concert, we were heading towards the spot where we had agreed to meet our parents to take us home. Alli tripped over a small pothole in the pavement, and hit her head against a mailbox."
As I said, I still remember every detail of that night. I remember holding her lifeless body sprawled on the sidewalk. I remember feeling helpless the entire time and screaming for help. I remember begging her to please stay with me, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I remember the loud sirens of the ambulances. I remember the paramedics telling me there was no hope left for her. I remember the devastating look on my parents' faces when they arrived at the scene. I remember how my brother Adam didn't speak for weeks after my parents told him what had happened.
I remember nothing ever being the same again after that night.
"It was an accident, but they needed to start a whole investigation to see how it could have happened. The detective on the case, detective Bloom, told us that a guy was supposed to fix that very same hole earlier that day. He never did. Do you want to know why?"
Hunter doesn't answer, so I continue. "Because he ran into one of his buddies and decided it would be fun to go have a drink with him instead of doing his job. If he would have done what was expected of him, my sister would still be alive." A sudden wave of anger washes over me. It still makes me so mad, even after all these years.
"It's been ten years, and I still miss her so much. I'm so scared I'm going to forget the little things, like her voice. There are times I'm not sure anymore if it's her actual voice I hear in my head when I replay memories of her or if it's how I've imagined the the sound of her voice through the years."
I can feel the tears swell in my eyes, and I turn away. I don't want him to see me like this. Hunter apparently doesn't agree with that because he grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug.
"She would have liked you," I say, my voice muffled against his chest.
She would have adored him even, I just know it. Alli didn't seem to own a clock either, she was always late for everything. I could already imagine them bonding over it.
He puts his hand under my chin, lifting it. "You won't forget."
When he places a soft kiss on my lips, I know I did the right thing telling him the whole story. It feels like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders.
"Well, this was a fun, lighthearted date." I joke in an attempt to change the subject.
"I don't care. I want to know everything there is to know about you. The good, the happy, the sad, and the bad things. I want all of you, Millie, and I need to know if you want all of me. Because I'm falling for you. Hard. And if you don't feel the same way, I need to know now because I don't..."
I kiss him before he gets to finish his sentence, answering his question without words.
We're going to do this.
For Alli, because she never got the chance to.
But mostly, for us.
I have no idea where it is going to take us, but I guess we'll find out soon.
Oh, and in case you were wondering...the Chicago Bulls finally won a game again that night.