Tala. 214 days before May 4, 1999.
Draco was different now, it was like he was taking steps backwards.
He's been so distant and prefers going off with his friends, I don't even know what's going through his mind anymore. It was so much easier back then, even if we wouldn't see each other for weeks I'd know how he was doing from his journal.
But I don't have that advantage anymore.
The last few weeks, I've been trying to get used to having so many classes and try to catch up with everyone else. On top of that, I've been trying to figure out how to prevent myself from literally ceasing to exist once May comes. And it doesn't help how stubborn Draco's been during our lessons — and how I've had to stop him and his friends from picking on younger kids everyday for the last three weeks. He was doing so well and he used to be so sweet to me when we're alone, what's changing?
I felt overwhelmed, admittedly.
There was no one to talk to but Harry, everyone else was busy with their boyfriends and girlfriends that Harry and I were left to fend for ourselves again. But I didn't blame them, I knew exactly what being in the honeymoon stage had felt like. And besides, they deserve acting like actual teenagers rather than fighting off a Dark Lord for once.
But because of everything, Harry and I would keep each other company during classes, when we'd do research in the library, and I even started eating most of my meals with him. And at night, we'd sneak out sometimes and cry out to the stars, laugh together and release our frustrations beside each other.
Yeah, I started crying more — Harry being there helped a lot, I don't feel that impatient anymore.
It felt nice.
Today was the first day of Quidditch practice, the first game was coming up next month and it would fall two days before my birthday. Surprisingly, even Neville tried out for the team and now he, Ron, and Harry were all playing for Gryffindor. So while Hermione and Luna watched and supported their boyfriends, I stayed and cheered for Harry.
He was my bestfriend at the moment.
I never realized how good at Quidditch he actually was, especially after finally understanding how the game worked now — doink, I still feel like an idiot for cheering when Slytherin lost. Harry has even taken me out for flying lessons sometimes at the pitch, the only other time I used one was when Draco taught me at the beginning of Year 6 — that was such a long time ago.
So as we watched practice, I would notice little things that Harry did as he played. He was quick as the seeker, but he was also cunning and clever by switching directions quickly to mess with his opponents, whenever he'd practice as a different position — like a true Slytherin. And when sweat would trickle down from his black hair and onto his scar, he'd always use his left arm to wipe off his forehead.
He was too far and the sun would shine glares onto his glasses, but when his head was towards our direction he would flash us a smile. And I would always smile back, knowing that his bright blue eyes met my dark ones even though I couldn't see them.
After practice, Hermione and I went ahead and left first for another S.P.E.W. meeting while Luna stayed behind to greet Neville. And as we walked through the first floor corridors, we found Draco and his friends picking on a Gryffindor quidditch player, making me sigh.
I was getting tired of seeing this scenario as the way I'd see him for the first time everyday.
Everyday for the last three weeks, it's ridiculous.
"What happened now?" I sighed as I reached Draco, Hermione barking at his friends behind us.
"These pesky Gryffindors stole the first day of quidditch practice," Draco spat as he kept his wand raised at the trembling boy, not even turning my way. "Slytherin always has the first day."
Draco's playing this year?
He does look so cute in his Quidditch uniform.
Cuter when he has it off.
Hah, kidding! — Not really.
I tilted my head curiously, "You're playing this year?" I asked, ignoring what he said.
Draco turned to me with a smirk on his face, still raising his wand up at the boy. "Of course I am, it'll be nice to play and have someone support me for once."
Ah! That was cute.
How can I stay mad when he's so cute!
Ugh, he's better than this — I should be the responsible one, again.
And again, and again, and again.
It's just exhausting how I have to do this everyday!
I mean, he's 18 now! I shouldn't have to be telling him what's right from wrong.
He's freaking old enough to get a tattoo!
Well, another one — if our dark mark counts!
"Still Draco, you should let him go," I reasoned nicely, losing my patience as he stayed stubborn and protested. "Our house will get it's turn."
"Come on Tala," Pansy pleaded as she held my hand — ignoring Hermione as she lectured her, Blaise, Goyle, and two other Slytherin boys. "Don't be such a prude, Madam Pomfrey can fix any damage."
Any damage?
Yeah, okay Pansy.
I turned to her sharply, narrowing my eyes as I looked into her hazel ones. Pansy was alright sometimes, but this girl needs some serious evaluation — it's like looking at an old version of me when I used to be a bully, I hate it. And she was a big influence on why Draco had been acting the way he was, I hated that too.
"You want to bully someone?" I asked her rhetorically as I stepped closer to her, ignoring Draco now. "Diffindo," I said nonchalantly with my wand as a cut formed on my finger, red dripping down as she watched me carefully. "Wounds heal," I said as I healed my own cut. "You wanna hurt someone? You do it where it counts," I said bluntly as I poked her chest with my now healed finger. "Or else you're just wasting your time."
Wow me, I really do have a flair for the dramatic.
I must get it from Dad, always was so theatrical.
Pansy furrowed her eyebrows at me, but she nodded as if she were a soldier following orders from their General. She gave me a longing look, like she was admiring me. I turned back to Draco's direction, telling him one more time to let the boy go. He protested, making me grab his wand forcefully and let the Gryffindor boy run off. And as I handed him back his wand, he started muttering angrily to himself while giving me a dirty glare.
"You're lucky you're my girlfriend!" Draco spat at me as he glared me down.
Excuse me!
I can take your scrawny ass right now!
"No," I argued darkly as I glared up at him, sizing him up and not feeling intimidated. "You're lucky that I'm yours!"
"I'm not your mom Draco," I sighed frustratingly as I put my fingers up to my temples. "You're 18 now, an adult! I shouldn't have to be doing this everyday! And I shouldn't have to be telling you the same thing everyday," I scolded as I pushed his chest. "You need to work on your temper."
"You're one to talk," Draco scoffed, earning another dark glare from me.
Ugh! He's definitely grounded!
No kisses for a week!
Even though the stone floors were gradually earning footsteps from passing students as Hermione continued to lecture the others, the tension between Draco and I was enough to drown out the sound.
"I'll have to take 50 points from Slytherin," Hermione said firmly, breaking our stare down. "And I'll have to take Malfoy to McGonagall to be sentenced."
Draco then snapped his head towards Hermione, breaking his glare at me and instead narrowing his eyes at her before he barked.
"Shut up, Mudblood."
"Draco!" I warned dangerously, so loud that it echoed through the corridors' halls.
My eyebrows stayed furrowed but my pout parted in disbelief, I couldn't believe he just said that after months of me trying to teach him why it was wrong. I understood what that word meant to Hermione, I knew it had caused her so much pain. Especially that day at the manor when Bellatrix carved it into her skin. Maybe Hagrid was right, that whole family is full of bullies.
"Apologize!" I ordered sternly.
"No!" Draco argued as he folded his arms across his chest, refusing to apologize in front of his friends.
Ugh! No kisses for a month! No, a year!
I'll be dead by then!
"Ugh! You're so frustrating!" I barked at him loudly, turning on my heel and grabbing Hermione's arm as I dragged her away to the library.
I didn't want her to be around someone that didn't give her the respect she deserved. Hermione was a muggle born and that's a fact, she was so much more than that.
Hermione is the brightest witch of our age.
————————————————————
Tala. 212 days before May 4, 1999.
"God! He's so annoying!" I shouted as I kept throwing curses at the Black Lake's waters, Harry chuckling beside me. "He's such a huge dick! At least he has one too to make up for it!"
I turned to Harry as he shook his head, smiling to himself as I asked what's so funny.
"I think it's quite funny when you're angry," Harry chuckled. "Since you're so little I can't take you seriously."
"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes at him as the stars sparkled brightly. "You looked like you were gonna piss yourself back at the cottage. When I first showed you my mark?"
"Yeah but you're not like that anymore," Harry defended himself. "When I first met you, you were fun and bubbly. Then while the war was coming, you've turned quite dark. But now, you're all bubbly again but a lot stronger than you already were."
God, Harry's so nice to me.
Why cant he let me be angry for a second, he always makes me feel better right away!
It's irritating, really.
No, it's not.
I pushed him softly on the arm. "Stop doing that."
"Doing what?" Harry asked as he pushed me back playfully.
"Complimenting me all the time," I said as I looked back up at the milky black sky before teasing him. "I'm gonna run out of things to compliment you back with."
"I get why he is the way he is," I started ranting again. "But he keeps sabotaging himself even when we both know he could do better," I sighed. "I've seen it, he used to be so sweet to me and now I just feel like some accessory to him, you know? As if after everything we've been through, he's so quick to throw it all away just to be that bully that everyone used to tell me about." I sighed again. "Even after everyone kept telling me no, I still fought for him because I knew he was so much more than all of this," I paused. "But it's like he wants to prove me wrong!"
"That Malfoy doesn't deserve you, you know," Harry said bluntly beside me. "Remember when Luna fixed my nose?" He asked as I nodded my head in response. "I knew then that Malfoy hadn't changed one bit."
Are you kidding me right now? Ugh.
Of course, Draco did that.
Who else? Flitwick?
Ha.
"He did that to you?" I sighed and whined, even though I knew deep down that it wasn't surprising at all. "Are you serious?"
"No that's my Godfather," Harry joked, trying to liven up the mood. "I'm Harry."
I snorted, "That's my joke."
"Yes," Harry laughed lightly. "It's quite funny."
"At least someone thinks so," I said bitterly as I thought of Draco, sitting down on the wet grass as Harry followed my lead and sat beside me.
We continued to watch the crowded night sky, admiring the full moon that greeted us softly with it's light. The lake's waves died down, not angry at Harry and I anymore after we threw curses at it.
"Hey look," Harry nudged his arm onto mine softly as he pointed to the sky. "It's Scorpius, you're a Scorpio right?"
Awe, Harry knows me so well.
And awe, that's the same joke I always tell Draco.
Wait, stop it me! I'm supposed to be mad!
"I thought you didn't know how to read constellations?" I asked him curiously, tilting my head in wonder.
"Yeah," Harry started as he looked back up again, his jawline defined by the night sky's shadows. "But I started to study them whenever we keep each other company in the library, just as a fun little thing to do."
That's so freaking sweet!
Ginny is so stupid — even though I like her!
I scooted closer and hugged Harry at that, "You're so nice."
Harry blew air from his nose as he laughed lightly at my reaction, wrapping his strong arms around me in a friendly manner.
"You're so warm Harry," I told him quietly as I snuggled my face into his chest. "I love it, it's so nice."
At that, I heard Harry's heartbeats go at a quicker pace as I rest my head against his chest, feeling his warmth wrap around me like a blanket.
"Why's your heart beating so fast?" I asked quietly as I kept my eyes closed.
He didn't answer and instead started running his fingers through my long black hair, his heart still beating at a rapid speed. And so we spent the rest of the night competing for who got the most constellations right, but we were so competitive that we both started lying on who got it first just to try and win.
We were both cheaters who wouldn't give each other petty points, unlike Draco would do for me.
He always gave me the points even though it was his to take.
Sigh, I guess I'm not mad anymore.
But I'm so over fighting all the time and then making up after I give in to the same stupid words that he always apologizes with.
"I'm trying Tiny, isn't that enough?"
I don't know Draco, are you?
Once I entered the common room, I found a slender blonde boy that I recognized too well. A boy that I hadn't talked to and avoided the whole weekend. He sat by himself on the leather couches as he warmed himself by the fireplace, turning his fair face towards my direction as he heard my footsteps.
"Hi Tiny," Draco said innocently.
"Hm," I greeted pettily as I walked towards the girls' dormitories.
Draco stood up and sprinted towards me, blocking my way as he kept one arm behind his back, hiding something. He looked down at me apologetically, taking out a single black rose from behind him as he handed it to me.
It was the same rose he always gave me on special occasions, but today wasn't my birthday, Christmas, or Valentine's Day. The rose was as jet black as it always was, even the stems and the leaves — tiny white specks ran across the dark petals, imitating the crowded night sky that I just came back from watching with Harry.
Sigh, well this is a new accessory to his apologies.
What a lame gimmick, he knew I'd give in once I saw the rose.
"What is this?" I asked obliviously, looking down at the flower he was holding to me as my ears turned warm.
"Dumb girl," Draco scoffed as he shoved it into my hand. "A rose, obviously."
"Are you trying to make me angrier?" I looked up and tested him, holding onto the flower firmly.
Draco sighed stubbornly, his expression softening. "I apologize for my behavior."
"Hm," I said pettily again as I spun the rose between my fingers. "I thought you only gave me these on special days?"
"Today is special," Draco smiled at me. "I just apologized."
God, I don't know if he's stupid or innocent!
Maybe both — at least he's cute.
"Yeah but you can apologize to me easily, it doesn't count," I groaned and pushed him softly on the chest, messing up his suit. "You need to say sorry to Hermione."
"I did!" Draco whined as I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing that he was lying. "Okay, I didn't — I don't want to be seen talking to Granger," He said her name bitterly. "But I forbid myself from ever calling her that again, I know how much she means to you."
"Not just her Draco," I groaned before sternly scolding him. "You need to stop saying that word altogether, but you especially can't say it to Hermione — ever."
"I'll try," Draco sighed as he grabbed my shoulders firmly, batting his pale grey eyes at me.
"Isn't that enough, Tiny?" He pleaded.
Sigh, right on cue.
Draco would always say that after we'd fight, and he knew that it would work and we'd make up everytime. It always worked because I knew that he was trying, even if it was just a little bit. And that tiny bit of effort was enough to keep me going.
I don't know if that makes me a doting girlfriend or just pathetic.
Maybe both — but hey, I love him.
I'm just, getting tired.
I sighed at his words and his face, giving in as I nodded my head slightly. He smiled at that and pulled me in tightly, giving me a sweet kiss on the forehead as he rest his chin on top of my head, wrapping his arms around me. I didn't feel warm whenever Draco held me, his skin was always cold to the touch.
"I've missed you," He said softly as he held me.
Draco's touch was cold but I liked it because it was his.
Though, I did find myself wishing that I felt a little warm instead.
But I can't say that or even think it, ever.