I stormed out of there. Every depressing, saddening, horrific emotion flowed through my body without me thinking about it. Why should I care? Why would I think he would change for anyone, especially me, his dreaded fiancé?
I got into the elevator and Nathaniel nonchalently followed me into the elevator.
"Can you just get away?" I asked, completly rudely like I hoped it would sound like.
"Why are you so mad? Here's your ring" He handed it to me and I harshly ripped it out of my hands.
"Were supposed to be getting married" I dramatically motioned the two of us.
"Oh come on"
"Don't come on me. Your upstairs with some girl of the street and your yelling at me that I'm partying to much" I said, almost screaming.
"Ok first of all, I've been with her more than once-"
"Like that makes it any better" I cut him off.
He frustrated me so much.
"I told you I wouldn't stay monogamous"
"I was hoping that you would do it secretly, on 'business trips' not in your apartment which we haven't decided if were moving in together or not"
"I said tomorrow. Hop off would you? I'm not a full time daycare ok"
"Never mind, just let me handle things and just stay away" I said as the elevator ringed meaning we were on the lobby floor. I walked away, as fast as possible so I would have the last word. Some people saw us but I didn't mind it. Out relationship was now an open book which everyone was going to read.
My apartment felt cold and lonely when I walked inside. I don't know why I felt these things for him, jealous and envy at the girl who is slumbering in his bed at this very moment. I closed my eyes and decided to check my text messages and voicemail. One messaged from clara but it just said Hey. Adriannas manager left me a voicemail that said that she was all resdy for the testshots tomarrow. And lastly, more saddening words. My mother.
She had been left out of the agreement, not knowing what was happening and believing I had actually fallen in love with that Jerkwad. Not only did she think that, but also my family( excluding my dad and sister) and all of my friends.
I decided to plan the wedding because indeed I did only have a month, or less. I called up a famous cake maker in New York, but he was up in Albany, so Nathaniel and I would have to drive up there as a couple. I reserved a spot for the day after Tomorrow and then called up Nathaniel, hoping he was busy and I could go up there by myself. He didn't answer(ugh) so I left a message.
"Nathaniel, I have an appointment for cake testing on Monday but its in Albany. Its fine if you cant make it, trust me" I said emotionless except for the last 2 words, which I put extensive impact on.
Next I picked my top favorite venues. I had always wanted an out of the country wedding but I wasn't sure if we could do it. I'd have to call up Nathaniel and ask him if he's alright with that.
I didnt want a wedding planner because, why waste more money on this pointless day? I chose a cathedral in France, that I absolutely fell in love with the last time I was there, a villa on the cliffs of Mykonos or the Island of Capri. It was a difficult choice so I'd have to consult Nathaniel.
I sent the three choices to Nathaniel but I got no response back which was weird but whatever.
I decided to call it a night, since I had done a lot of work.
Falling asleep by myself felt awkard tonight. Over the last week I had spent so much time with Nathaniel that laying in bed felt lonely. I tried to forget about that and fall asleep.
In the morning, I literally jumped up with excitement. I chose casual jeans with a silk top. I fixed my hair and my makeup as fast as possiblr because it was 10:30 and it would take an hour to get to the managers office in West Hampton.
I got a text from Nathaniel:
"Hey sorry um whatever you want idrc"
Ugh that put so much pressure on me. I would rather marry my parent's dog then marrying him.
"Yes or no."
I wrote back. I quickly got a text back.
"Sure"
Ugh my heart got excited but my brain got a headache. What is happening to me? I drove over to the agents office and slowly got more and more nervous. What if they thought I was not good enough? Maybe even ugly? I distracted myself by counting the amount of range rovers I passed.
When I finally made it there, I let out a sigh of relief and then once I had done that, a shot of adrenaline flowed through me once I realized what I was about to do.
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Sorry it toke so long! Midterms and school😩