« Let's get you somewhere warmer first. » continued Liam, leading them out of the campus.
He hadn't let go of Dean's hand. And the said man didn't fight his grip, scampering by his side under the rain. Neither of them had an umbrella and were taking shelter under the shops' sunshade veil as they ran in the street. Liam seemed to have a specific place he wanted to go as he didn't stop to enter any of the bars or coffee shops they passed over.
The strong hand that was holding his, released him, when they entered through an old three stories high building's door. Not even ten minutes away from the campus. Dean was surprised but didn't utter any protest at the empty feeling Liam's hand had left him with. Clenching his hand by his side, he looked at the entrance hallway where they currently were. Right before them was a long corridor covered by mirrors on one side and rows of letter boxes on the other. Judging from the narrow space the building seemed from the 70's or before.
« Come on. » let out Liam.
He was ruffling his wet brown hair back on his head, showing off his slender eyes, high nose and sharp jawline. Droplets from the rain scattered all around him as Liam tried to get most of it to fall away from his clothes. Dean gulped while looking at the dreamy vision, his heart running a marathon in his ribcage. Too many thoughts were crossing paths in his mind and he couldn't begin to understand where he was led to. Rubbing his face and whipping the rain drops away from his eyes, he calmly followed the tall man to the, again very narrow, stairs framing a tiny elevator. He passedly wondered if they would have fit together in the cabine if they had boarded it.
He didn't have to climb too far as Liam stopped in front of one of the three doors on the second floor. He took a set of tinklings keys out of his coat pocket and Dean finally registered that they weren't going to any shop but instead to the older man's personal flat. Nervousness crept up his spine, settling in the back of his head.
As they entered, Liam bent down to crouch on the floor, calling out softly a name that Dean couldn't make out. Intrigued, he closed the door behind him and didn't move, waiting to see what was going to happen. Not long after he heard the sound of little paws running on the wooden floor accompanied by joyful meows.
The softest smile appeared on Liam's lips, his hands reaching to grab the bouncing kitten who didn't stop and rubbed himself all over the tall man's lanky legs. Said man chuckled lovingly and stood up, his hand slimming on the tree-colored soft fur.
The unexpected tenderness of this meeting made Dean's heart melt down. He couldn't take his eyes off of the duo. Even though the French man was muscular and toned, all his body was screaming that not one ounce of it would hurt the little being in his hands. It was something that no one could have resisted, just like Dean was utterly moved by the sight.
« Take off your shoes by the entrance and come in. »
The stern voice caught Dean off guard as he had relaxed to Liam and the kitten's lovely reunion. In contrast, his voice had lost a few octaves and wasn't as welcoming. Dean couldn't miss the change of tone nor avoid the hurt it caused, even though he should have known better.
Obeying, he entered further into the flat. The place consisted of a big lounge where, the younger man could guess, some of the furniture were made by the chocolate haired man. Beams were visible on the ceiling as well as around the windows. On his left and right were two closed doors, a hallway was visible at the back of the lounge.
The owner of the place came out from the hallway, holding onto two towels, the kitten balancing calmly on one of his shoulders. Throwing him one towel, Liam used the other one to wipe his face, and hair. He had taken off his coat and disappeared behind the door, on Dean's left.
« Do you want to take off your jeans ? » Dean heard through the door.
The question made his heart skip a beat in confusion. Not lingering on his ackward confusion, Dean saw that Liam had come back, changed into comfortable jogger pants and a tight fitting white tee-shirt, which didn't leave much space for imagination. Dean had to tear his eyes away from the nicely shaped chest and pectoral.
Coosing wisely not to voice out his response, he nodded his ascent, taking off his own coat and hanging it on the back of a chair to dry. Armed with his towel and the pants lent by the older French man, he took off to the hallway where he guessed the bathroom should be. He took his time in the disorganized room, making the most of it to calm his heart and pep talking himself for the upcoming talk they would have.
« What's its name ? » the black haired man asked upon coming back in the lounge, finding Liam seated cuddling the meowing kitten.
« Su-ya. » answered the owner, his eyes stuck on the cute creature rolling around on his lap.
Inexplicably, Dean's heart jumped in his chest. Frowning to his own reaction he didn't say more and just looked around not knowing where to stand or sit.
« Take a seat. Do you want to have something to drink before we begin ? » asked Liam.
« Do you have anything warm ? »
The older man nodded, put the cat on his side on the sofa and directed himself to the last door. He came back soon after, holding onto an electric kettle, two mugs and a box. Liam put everything on his coffee table, inviting Dean to serve himself freely while he himself took out a tea bag from the box.
« So ... » he began, sipping his tea « What did you want to talk about ? »
Dean sighed. The man was not going to make it easy for him. Taking a deep breath in, he began the hardest conversation he had ever done in his entire life. Coming out to his grandfather hasn't been as nerve wracking as this moment.
« How do I start ? Don't you have any questions ? » he started off.
« I'm not the one who wanted to talk. » reminded him the brown haired man, his head directed to his purring kitten.
« True, but you are the one who distanced yourself from me. » factually said Dean, earning a dark stare « Alright, alright, I will do the talk and you can ask anything, if you feel like it. »
Liam scoffed, but didn't stop him and just seated back on his sofa, taking the cat back on his lap.
« I had just turned six years old when my parents both died from an accident. » Liam jerked his head up, frowning at Dean's introduction « I'm not saying that to try to earn your pity, don't worry. Just listen. »
« As I said, we were in a tourist bus, when the driver dozed off, causing the bus to crash down on the highway. My parents both died and I survived, alone. I was traumatised at the time and if not for my grandfather and Win, I'm not sure I would have made it out sane. Even more so because from then on, every night was a succession of nightmares and vivid dreams. As you can probably imagine, the nightmares were haunting me and I woke up crying more than once. » he was talking fast as memories were flooding his mind from recalling those difficult years.
It wasn't easy to retell this to someone other than Win and his grandfather but he had to do it for Liam to understand him, even just a tiny bit. Dean's hands were either fumbling and grazing each other or rubbing against his sweat pants wearing tight. He needed the comfort it gave him.
« As for the dreams, it was an entire different story. At first I didn't understand what they meant, but the warmth I got from it helped me find back some confidence. Hope even. Those dreams were what encouraged me to go to bed each night. I still couldn't sleep alone, but at least I didn't stay awake for hours, fearing to close my eyes. »
He looked up, to see if his uninterrupted vomit of words didn't bore the man in front of him. Liam had changed his stance and was now listening to him gravely. His elbows were on his knees, his dark green eyes locked on Dean, his thin mouth closed as if saying that he will give all his attention to listen to the black haired man's story. The kitten had jumped away from his owner and was now playing by himself on the floor. Comforted by Liam's earnest look, Dean kept talking.
« I didn't know what to make of those dreams about people I didn't recognize. I just enjoyed each time I would dream instead of running away from scary memories. It's only after a few years, when the nightmares started to fade away, that I began to envision what the story behind the dreams was. » He took a deep breath, this was the important part « The dreams were not just a fiction, an imagination from my mind. It was recollections... Recollections of beautiful times I had shared with someone I loved. I actually discovered the meaning of it all when my grandfather brought me to a temple. A monk explained to me that those kinds of colorful and vivid dreams were messages from my past life. »
He looked up at Liam to see his reaction. But his face was void of emotions, only telling him to keep going with his fixed gaze.
« You see, in Thai Bouddhisme it's common knowledge that our life is a never ending circle where one is reborn into another life. Most of the time the new life does not remember one's past life but it can happen when the past life has something unfinished or that they want to pass onto something. I don't know what the point for us thought... »
« Us ? You are saying it as if you are sure I'm part of your dreams. » interrupted for the first time Liam.
« Of course you are. » confirmed the younger man, a small smile showing up on his face.
« I don't think so, but that's beside the point. Keep going. » Liam ignored Dean's protest as he asked for the story to go on.
« Ah ... A-Alright, I will come back to that later. » the younger one mumbled, frowning « Anyway, for as long as I can remember I could only feel things and retell details but I couldn't really understand the story behind it. It's only after I came to France and met you that the dreams became clearer. It was like I was living through them and I can now remember Ji Su and Hyeon Jae Hyung's names. I still don't know the complete story and it might not even be a happy one ... » he trailed off « ... but that's enough for me to know who we were. » he finished off forcing himself to show a convinced smile.
« Let's say, this is true. » let out the older man, his face testifying how much he doubted that it really was the case « Then what ? You just accept the person who was your past life's lover as yours ? Without any personal feeling ? »
« What do you mean ? » asked Dean, his head tilted to the side in a questioning look.
« Don't you think it's complete bullshit, it basically means that you can't even love whoever you want ? You just go with the flow and couple up with someone who you don't even like. You have no free will whatsoever. But you are okay with that ? »
« I ... I don't ... » stuttered the black haired man, his eyes as round as they could be, dumbfounded by Liam's questions.
« That's what I'm telling you about. It's crazy how you could even think of approaching someone just because YOU believe he is your past life lover. And a guy at that. » anger was rising up in Liam's voice.
« Wait a minute, I need to understand something. Are you angry because I approached you ? Because I am a man just as you are ? Or is it because you refuse the link between us ? » defensively interjected Dean.
« What link are you talking about now ? » irritatedly asked the older man.
« You don't feel it ? »
« What ? » Liam snapped, he was letting out his frustration.
Dean couldn't believe it, how could he explain something that he was instinctively feeling to that closed off man. He was fisting his own dark hair in his hands, head low, elbows leaning on his tights.
« How should I word it ? » the young man rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand « Do you remember the first time we met ? » he asked expectantly.
The question was interesting, as he wondered if Liam would remember him at the campsite. The older man however shrugged, not bothering to answer.
« I do remember. Cause as soon as I saw you at the camping site I felt like an electric courant had gone through my whole body. I kind of recognized you right away but you just disappeared when I was distracted. Much like the two next times truthfully. » as Liam didn't say anything, he continued « Even though I did know it was you, you seemed to not be affected much by me so I decided to be the one to make the first move and to get to know you. » Dean took a deep breath and resumed « In anycase, each time I see you, there is this feeling, this sensation in the back of my head, to my heart. It feels like I am full, complete or something like that. Don't you feel it ? Really ? »
Wordlessly, Liam was fixing Dean's face for a while.
Without answering, the older man took the kettle back to the kitchen, his face scrunched. After a while, hearing the ding from the electric device but not seeing the man coming back, the Thai man followed his trail.
He found himself in a big, well lightened space with a squared red table in the center and diverse kitchenware on the side shelves. Liam was at the opposite side of the room, his back to the entering younger man. His shoulders were down, his head turned to the window, his eyes lost in the rain still falling outside. Dean must have made a noise because Liam suddenly squared up his toned upper body and shifted back to lock his tensed green eyes on the younger man's.
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How is it going in your part of the world ?
As for me... Lock down has just made it's way back to our life... It's sad, for so many reasons.
Keep safe and stay strong !
As a gift, here is a picture of Su-ya's inspiration 😍