Seokjin
To say I am nervous is an understatement, I was actually a nerve wreck now and am mostly upset, angry at the reporters, their so-called fans, media and society in general for making a mountain out of a molehill.
They had taken a kind gesture from a young kid and made it into something sinister for their personal gain.
How can people be so cruel, some sites where calling me few words have never even heard, and this is all from educated people! Wow! I just couldn't believe it.
I should have just fucking proceeded with my decision and never should have bothered going to that concert. At least he would have been happy. I tried to press my hands firmly on my shaking legs to control it but that didn't help.
His gentle eyes and that nervous smile, shy face flashed before my eyes. I caused him only pain. I took a deep breath.
I will give a statement like what their manager advised and then leave this place for good. Having made the decision, I tried to calm myself by humming a song.
Just have to hold it together just for few more hours... I continued singing, only till I make a statement, as I closed and imagined myself at home.
"I am so sorry" I heard a loud voice and footsteps rushing towards me, and I was engulfed in a warm hug when I opened my eyes "and thank you, thank you for not doing anything stupid. I was so worried" I heard Jungkook say.
Worried? I wrapped my hands around him, his force had knocked me out and we were both in a very uncomfortable position, with me leaning on the sofa and him on top of me.
"Kookie" called the other singer, dressed in black tshirt and ripped jeans "you are hurting him", he pulled back Jungkook allowing me to catch my breath.
"Sorry, he forgot his manners hyung" he smiled, a cute dimple forming on his cheeks, his eyes were guarded "we really thought you must be a high school student yesterday, sorry if we had been disrespectful"
"Er.. n..No" I stuttered, it was a common mistake that I have learned to live with, people always assumed I am younger than them.
"I am Kim Namjoon, BTS leader" he smiled and bowed
"I am Kim seokjin" I responded back, but kept returning to Jungkook. His life had been turned upside down and he was worried for me? I forced a smile "How are you?"
His face bloomed, bright smile colored his face in response to mine "am okay now", there was flash of worry which he quickly covered with shy smile "I honestly thought you must be my age, sorry Hyung"
I shrugged, "You can be casual with me, I don't mind" I voiced out my thoughts and he responded with a smile scrunching his nose.
We sat in silence for few minutes, not exactly knowing what to say to each other. But something about Jungkook, made me calm. How can someone badmouth this sweet kid? I really wanted to hit someone.
The door opened and Sejin with two other men entered. Both Namjoon and Jungkook stood quickly and bowed in respect. Maybe it is their boss. I got up and bowed as well.
"Ah.." the short man dressed in casual white button-down shirt smiled "my favorite troublemaker", his voice carried a hint of pride and worry, not to mention a underlying authority.
"PD nim" Jungkook stuttered, and slowly moved closer to Namjoon, his action trigger something in me but I ignored it. Maybe he is closer to his leader, but his boss kept his eyes only on me making me squirm a bit.
"You can call me Bang PD" he extended his hands to shake mine, and I took his. He had a firm grip, as he sighed "I am really sorry, you had to go through all that trouble"
There was no response that I could think off, so I just continued to look at him
"You are really good looking" he smiled "I gather that you quit your job and was planning on ending your life last tonight?"
There was a gasp, I was not sure it was from me or someone else. I have never seen such a straight shooter. I felt ashamed, like in some ways he was scolding me.
"So, how about this?" he paused, looking at Sejin with a mischievous smile "how would you like to be part of BTS?"
Silence engulfed us.
Now, I was sure he was joking. I was told that I will meet with the group, their boss, make a statement to the press and will be on my way out. This was ridiculous.
"I don't appreciate being mocked, Sir" I said in a soft voice, there is a limit to what I can take, and I felt like am on edge already.
I have been getting so many calls and messages from my colleagues, so called family and friends. No one was worried but they were curious on one of two things, If I was homosexual or was I really in a relationship with BTS member.
Namjoon frowned, and Jungkook looked like a stunned bunny. His expression was really cute I had to hold back a smile.
"I don't have time for jokes young man" Bang PD continued "I can handle all these rumors, and to be honest this has been the most publicity my boys have gotten for free"
There still was no response from Namjoon and Jungkook. Sejin looked at me with a fond smile, while the other guys stood still with no expression on his face.
"Think about it, I have no plan to expose your personal troubles to media. I will only say that this is false rumor and fans to ignore it for now" Bang PD continued "you don't have to make any statement"
I nodded
"think about it, and for next three days if you are okay you can stay with the team" he said, and then turned to look at Sejin "he is your responsibility until am sure he won't make any rash decisions"
Sejin only nodded.
"but, why?" I asked in a small voice.
"you have talent and looks, like a rough diamond" Bang PD said as he started walking towards the door, but he stood and turned to look at me in the eye.
I was not able to break away from his soul piercing look, his eyes were small, but the intensity was too much for me to handle "mostly because it might be mutually beneficial"
Sejin ruffled my hair, a small yet touching gesture before he followed his boss. "boys, stay here, I will be back in sometime" he said to Namjoon as he closed the door behind him.
Both Jungkook and Namjoon stared at me, one guarded while the other was pure admiration. Both their expression made me uncomfortable.
"Will you stay with us Hyung?" Jungkook asked, and my heart fluttered instantly. What's with this boy and my crazy heart.
"err" I didn't know, I just wanted all this to be over
"You can stay with us" Namjoon said slowly, "If Bang PDnim chose you there must be a reason"
"Can he, hyung" Jungkook's smile widened "thank you" he hugged him tight, and Namjoon only sighed "if he wants to"
They both looked at me expectantly, but I silently shook my head
"Then can I stay with you?" he asked looking at me with the same expression
"NO" both Namjoon and I said at the same time, for very different reasons making the boy visibly shrunk. I felt instant regret.
"You can't stay with him, are you nuts?" Namjoon said in a disapproving tone
"but am worried he will do something" Jungkook retorted
"He will not" Namjoon continued "I don't think he is that stupid, it would cause bigger trouble for you"
"What if he did and we didn't do anything to stop him" Jungkook folded his arms against his chest
"It is not on us" Namjoon said, looking at me in the corner of his eyes. They were both talking as if I was not there, and I was also a bit ashamed for I was thinking of doing exactly what they are talking about.
But it felt nice, to think there were people who still cared.
"Well, it will be on me" Jungkook said, "I can never live that"
I sighed, this was getting way out of hands
"You can't watch over him forever" Namjoon tried to convince the younger "he is an adult; in fact, he is older than us and you can't force him to do as per your whim"
"I am not asking him to say yes, that is his choice" Jungkook argued "all I am saying is I don't want him to be alone for few days"
"I won't do anything" I tried to explain, a small lie can't hurt "I am going out of town today, to my native"
"but..." Jungkook looked like he wanted to argue more but held himself back.
"Why did he ask you to be part of BTS?" Namjoon asked suddenly, he couldn't hide the glint of jealousy in his voice. They trained for years, struggled through a lot to debut. "Have you auditioned before?"
I shook my head, honestly, I was surprised myself.
"it's not fair" Namjoon said in a low voice, more to himself. I can't help but agree with him. I have heard people who train to be idol spend close to 20 hrs a day training and going through a lot of hardships, then again success is not guaranteed.
"I am sorry", I whispered back feeling guilty.
He sighed, "not your fault", clearly torn. "I won't lie and say am happy, but Hyung" his eyes turned serious "there must be something if he is asking you to join BTS, maybe it will be for good. Think carefully before you say no"
This was not expected, he looked more matured now, more grounded than I have ever been even though he was younger. This might be the reason why he was their leader.
"Whatever, You and I" Jungkook looked fiercely into my eyes "we are staying together, until I know for sure that you won't do something stupid"
It was illogical, ridiculous but at that moment my heart started pounding, a feeling of warmth washed over and I only wanted to hold the younger in my arms and reassure him, that it will be okay, I will be okay