It's been a while...
Bianca's POV
I grudgingly rolled out of bed till my feet met the carpeted floor. The atmosphere was surprisingly cold and I rubbed my exposed arms, feeling my goosebumps rise.
I looked around the dark room till my eyes stopped on the open window.
I thought I closed that.
I walked towards the window quickly and closed it shut. Right now we're in the end of November, the temperature has fallen pretty low and winter is here.
Seconds after closing the window, I turn on the lights and make my way into the bathroom to prepare for the day.
Today is the burial.
I have been in my room alot, but I can still notice how silent the house is. It doesn't feel like a day of smiles at all and there certainly will be a lot of tears.
I want to be optimistic and say we should be happy because he's going to a better place but is anyone actually ever happy when a loved one passes away. They chose to accept it because there's nothing they can do, for now acceptance is a very long journey, but I know it's not impossible.
After having my bath, applying my make up and styling my hair, I put on my black, sleeveless, turtle neck sundress. It's the only black dress I have. I also put on knee high boots to match.
For a few seconds I stood in front of the full length mirror, just gazing at my reflection as my mind wandered. It took a lot of will not to cry, I had to swallow my tears and take in a deep breath multiple times, preparing myself mentally for the day.
I slowly put on my gloves, wiggling my nine fingers slightly and feeling the expensive leather on my skin. My wound hasn't healed, my finger is still gone and it still kind of hurts but only when I apply pressure on it.
I look down at my jewelry which was only a small gold chain with tiny star pendants on it. I gingerly put on the neckless just as someone knocks on my door.
Though my main focus today was supposed to be on Caleb, I can't help but think about last night. How can I not?
The thought never fails to bring a small smile to my face. A disgusting and sickening smile that makes me feel bittersweet.
I don't feel sorry for what I did one bit, I'm buoyant about it even. Zoe deserved that fate, and so do Hades, Melody, Antonio and Rhea.
Yes, I want to kill my own blood sister. Call me a murderer, I don't mind. That's what I used to call myself until last night anyway.
Last night I felt what it was like to kill for vengeance, not with a gun, or a knife but with you bare hands. I watched the life drain from Zoe's eyes and it made me feel something I haven't felt in a while; content.
Everyone else can go ahead and think I'm crazy but I know what I did, I know the consequences. Hades will not be happy.
I say let him roar with rage, having a solid aliby taken away from him just like that. He better watch out because that's how they'll all go. I'll take them away like they took Caleb.
Fuck being a saint, I want revenge. I'm tired of being so forgiving, I'm tired of being so ignorant and passive.
I'm so predictable and I hate it. Father would be so disappointed in me.
Michael did say I have mafia blood or whatever that means, I guess I'll start to live up to it since no one takes me seriously.
I'm not a joke or a toy you can play with for your own amusement, I don't want to be seen as an oblivious idiot that is easy.
No more.
I know only one traitor now, but I want to know more. I want to know more of my camouflafed enemies and I feel like the only way I can know is by contacting someone who worked with Zoe, Antonio.
If Asher could use me, the one that claimed to love me, then I don't see how anyone else in this house couldn't.
"Bianca?" Asher's voice calls calmly. I felt a hand softly touch my lower back and I hated how good that felt. "Are you okay love?"
I swallowed, blinking myself back to reality. I realized I was just staring at my reflection with my fingers playing with the pendants of my chain.
Asher stod behind me, a worried expression filled his handsome features. I stared at his face for a few seconds, he was silent as he noticed my evaluation.
Why do I still love him after what Zoe told me? I thought as I turned around till I faced him.
I moved my arms around his neck and pulled him to me for a passionate kiss. He seemed surprised by my actions but gave in quickly. The kiss was rough and long, our tongues fought in need and desire.
I won't hide the fact that I'm still very much attracted to him even after knowing the truth. I'll still teach him his own lesson but I'm going to enjoy him first.
I felt his hands that rested on my waist lower, pass my butt and stop right below it. Our lips separated for a split second as he hoisted me off the ground till I straddled him.
Our breathing was loud and hard as our lips interlocked once again. His fingers carresed my butt while mine played with his hair.
He grinded me into him, receiving a short moan from me, increasing my lustful need.
Suddenly I feel the soft matress of my bed bellow me as he pulls away from the kiss.
Asher had both hands beside my head to rest on and confusion was obvious in his expression as he stared down at me.
I still straddled him with my legs and decided to rub myself against him in an attempt to ask for more attention.
He takes in a sharp breaths and looks down at my exposed legs with a lustful look. It satisfied me, giving me the courage the rub against him again.
Asher starts placing soft kisses on my skin before reaching the fabric of my dress on my neck. Suddenly clothes didn't seem appealing to me at all.
"Undress me," I tell Asher, my voice was soft and it made him lock eyes with me. He didn't move at first and just stared at me like he was trying to figure something out. I removed a hand from his hair and brushed his jawline softly in an attempt to bring him back into reality. "Undress me Asher," I repeat with the same lustful tone in my voice, just as I rub against him temptingly.
He closes his eyes for a brief second and this time he rubbed against me. My dress was pulled up leaving my underwear out in the open. He rubbed against me slowly and I could feel his little man buldge through his jeans.
I let out a soft moan at the nice sensation though I still wanted more.
My hands reach out for his belt buckle, but right when I touched them he pulled away from me abruptly and sat at the edge of the bed.
"We are not having sex Bianca. Not today," he says with a flustered look on his face.
I pout. He's probably right, today is not the day.
"I guess," I say with a sigh. I rub my thighs together. I noticed Asher stare between my legs hungrily and I realized my dress was still up and my underwear was in the open.
"We should leave, everyone should be getting into their cars by now," Asher explains.
I nod understandingly and walk to the mirror to try and fix my appearance. A minute later Asher is leading me out of the house and into his car.
Caleb is having a private burial, he doesn't have much relatives that we know of, we all are his family so we'll be there. Emilia said her sister and parents would be coming since they knew Caleb as well.
As Asher drove us to the venue I tried not to think too much about what just happened between us inside my room, or the fact I've noticed Asher has been dying to ask me why I killed Zoe since last night.
-
A week later.
It's been a long week, I haven't said much to anyone, not even Asher or Jasmine. This is mostly because I have nothing to say.
All week they've been treating me like some psychopath.
I understand what I did and that my state of mind wasn't exactly...normal at that moment, but they should all relax. It's not like I'm going to go bizerk and do something insane.
The whole Hades drama seems to have died down a little this week because it's been very quiet.
The gang has been trying to track the enemies down and hopefully give them what they deserve for all the lives we lost, but at least they lost a strong aliby - all thanks to me.
My blood goes hot everytime I think about Caleb. I hate that he's gone and I can do nothing about it - at least not until we find Hades' location. I'm hungry for revenge, it's a kind of thirst that feels so foreign to me but I still very much want to feed it.
Emilia is on a similar page but she's not that type of person so she's not as serious about revenge. She did say she's planning on going on a trip to clear her mind. I 100% support her because she definitely needs the healing and time for herself, especially after loosing the love of her life.
I've never been a fan of revenge. I never tried it when my mother was killed, or even my father. I don't know why it's so different now, it's like something's triggered in me and I almost like it.
Seeing all these terrible occurrences happen just brings anger to me. For a moment I loose myself and I hate it but love how powerful I feel it at the same time.
A knock sounded from my room door, pulling me out of my thoughts.
With a sigh I walked towards the door and opened it.
Clara smiled softly at me. "Hey," she says. "Can I come in?"
I leaned on the door frame while keeping my hand on the handle with a bored expression on my face.
"No," I say flatly, ignoring the shocked look on her face. I just don't want to talk to her.
"But we really need to talk-"
"Goodbye," I say, ignoring her words and closing the door.
She stops the door from closing with her leg, receiving a raised eyebrow from me.
Clara had a grimance on her face tho, "ow that actually hurt my leg," she winced but she keeps her leg there.
"What do you want?"
"To talk."
"About?"
"You."
"About?"
"Oh God Bianca just let me in!" She exclaims in frustration.
I stared her down and narrowed my eyes before sucking my teeth sassily. "Why?"
She groans in annoyance and pushed her way in regardless. I hold back a laugh at her flustered face and close the door behind me.
"So," she starts, seeming aggravted. "I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go shopping with Jasmine and I. You know, a little fun to forget everything," she suggests while sitting on my bed.
I shake my head, "no thanks."
Clara frowns, "why not?"
"I'm tired," I reply. I could notice her eye twitched and that amused me even more.
Clara stays silent for a while and let's put a loud sigh, pinching her nose with her fingers. Her eyes closed briefly.
"Fine," she snaps, standing from my bed. "Do whatever the fuck you want," she starts to storm out of my room but I grab her arm before she leaves.
"Calm down. Gosh," I tell her. She glared at me. "What's got you so angry?"
She pulls her arm away and folds both her arms. "You."
"Me?"
"Yes, you," she says. "You think that the whole world evolves around you. You think you're the only one who's hurt, don't you! Well guess what, I've know Caleb longer than you ever did! You think I'm not hurt? You think Emilia's not hurt?! We are all grieving, that doesn't mean you get to treat everyone rudely just because!"
My eyes widened at her words. Something is definitely bothering her.
This isn't like Clara and I have a feeling it has nothing to do with Caleb. "What's wrong Clara?" I ask her softly. She seemed shocked by my words and I noticed her eyes water slowly. "You can tell me."
"No I can't," she says. Her voice wavered slightly and I could tell she was about to break down.
"Yes, you can," I reply.
"I- I..." She trailed off quietly. "I'm not okay Bianca," she says with a sob. "I'm so confused a-and scared with everything. I'm so alone. I'm not o-okay," she tells me between sobs.
Her blonde locks fell onto her face, damping with her tears. I could feel my own eyes watering up with sympathy as I pulled her into a hug.
"It's okay. You're okay," I assure her with soft strokes on her back.
She continues to cry for about a minute, soaking my shirt in the process. I don't stop comforting her, eventually she pulls away and attempts to dry her tears with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.
"I'll go get some tissues," I tell her, and go to the bathroom. When I come out she's seated on my bed with her head in her hands. The sight broke my heart because at that moment she didn't look like the put together perfect girl I always saw. She looked broken, just like I used to.
I sat beside her and quietly handed her the tissue. She accepted it with a croaky 'thank you'.
For the next few seconds I just watched her wipe her tears and get herself together, thankfully she didn't have any make up on to ruin or she'll cry even more.
"How do you feel?" I ask her.
Clara swallows and turns to me with her red and puffy eyes. "Like shit," she snorts. I smile at her.
"I feel like that alot too," I say and she shakes her head with a small laugh, but it didn't meet her eyes.
"I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like this. Not anymore," she tells me.
"Like what?" I ask softly, grabbing her hand comfortingly.
I know how she feels, I was once in her shoes. So lost and alone, tired of life but fearing death.
Depression, it's exhausting.
"Knowing that my days are being numbered," she sniffs. "I just found out I have pneumonia," she says.
My mouth nearly falls to the floor but I manage to keep my self together quickly. That's terrible...
My mouth opened and closed because of my loss for words. "Oh," I say pathetically, feeling my heart shatter at the thought. "That... That's really not good," I say and refrain from slapping myself in the face.
Really Bianca?
Surprisingly Clara laughed at my response. "You sounded so uncomfortable," she snorts, pushing her straight, long hair back. "I don't blame you though. And I'm so happy you didn't tell me sorry, I wouldn't know what to say to that."
"You're welcome," I reply with a grin. Silence engulfs us for a while before I speak. "When did you find out?"
"Two days ago. Realized something was wrong, was taken to the hospital for a blood test and boom! Next thing you know, I'm sick," she explains with a pained voice. "I looked it up on the internet Bianca. It's terrible - you should've seen the pictures-"
"That's why you never Google health related stuff," I scold. "You're gonna be fine, I know you are. Have you started treatment?"
"I rejected treatment."
"What? Why?"
"I'm gonna die soon anyway," she says with a monotous voice.
"Don't speak like that. It's always worth the try."
"Well I deserve it, after what I did," she says quietly. I noticed her hand go to her stomach and I remember the abortion Zoe told me about.
"I heard about your abortion," I say. Clara froze, I could see the pained look she had on her face. At that moment I realized just how much the abortion must have damaged her.
"Who told you?" She snaps.
I didn't want to tell her Zoe told me, "it doesn't matter now."
She swallows and slowly stands on her feet, heading towards the door. I stop her before she leaves.
"Where are you going?"
"Out," she says with a cracked voice.
"Clara relax, I'm not gonna judge you, I'm not God," I tell her, staring into her sad, baby blue eyes.
She bites her lip as she tried to hold back a sob. "I didn't want to. She made me," Clara says, tears falling down her cheeks. "I loved my baby, I didn't care who the father fucking was! She made me! I swear!" She cries.
"Who?"
"Linda," she answers with a venomous tone.
The scenario seemed to make sense to me now. This is probably why they hated eachother so much, it's because Linda made Clara abort her own baby.
What a bitch move.
"It's not your fault," I tell her and she shakes her head.
"It is. I shouldn't have been such a stupid teenager. I was a slut and was just so confused about who I was and about my sexuality," Clara says.
"What about it?"
"Linda told me she'd help me. She told me she'd help me figure it out and even had- had-"
"Had what?" I ask but it all hit. "You two..." I trail off and she nodded.
Linda was probably jealous Clara slept with Chris. Maybe she felt cheated on by Clara not Chris...
So Linda was lesbian? Wasn't Clara under aged at that time? So she was also a pedophile?
"I knew it was wrong Bianca... I just... I don't even know why I did it with Chris," she says with sniffs, her cries had died down slightly.
I pull her to me for a hug. This must have been really messy for Clara. "I didn't consent with Linda tho, she made me. It wasn't rape, she was just so controlling and manipulative. Asher told me I wasn't the first girl she's gotten to," Clara says.
"She was a pedophile. That's why Asher hated her isn't it?" I voice out my thoughts.
Clara nodded. "The day I killed her, she kept bringing up the abortion and started calling me awful names like I wanted it to happen. I couldn't take it anymore and I shot her."
I let out a breath, trying my best to take it all in. "You'll be alright Clara. I'm always here if you want to talk. Okay?" I tell her.
She smiles slightly and nods, but then again the smile didn't reach her eyes and I had a big feeling she isn't going to even try to reach out to me to talk.
"Thanks," she says.
"Of course," I reply. "You should start getting ready for shopping," I tell her in an attempt to brighten the mood.
Clara rolled her eyes. "I'm tired. Maybe some other day," she smiles and walks out the door. "Goodbye Bianca. Thanks for listening to me, I needed that," she says.
"I'm always here to listen Clara," I tell her right before she closes the door. I wanted her to stay longer so we could maybe talk about it more or watch a movie to help her feel better, but she seemed so eager to leave. I can't force her.
I let out a sigh and fell into my bed.
"What the fuck is wrong with people," I mumble to myself.
-
AN
This was a weird chapter lol. I'm also sorry if there was alot of spelling errors and cringy writing.
Hope you liked it! I'm sorry it took so long to update.
Leave a vote and comment your thoughts!
Have a great day and stay safe 💛
Elizi ❤️