Nikolai
Solus was downing her third bottle of whiskey that she had me fetch for her, as I almost refused to let her walk. Her short hair hanging in front of her face, the sweat making the tendrils stock to her forehead and neck.
Sweet caramel skin covered in sweat as it started soaking in clothes. The heat from the whiskey was getting to her, and I only wanted her to stop.
I could smell the poison taking hold in her body, she was getting sick and didn't even know it. I was carefully formulating a plan for that, to get Solus to stop without hurting her pride or making her feel unheard.
But that's a difficult task, and Solus is a difficult person. She had started playing some adventure video game, and made a call for food earlier which we were patiently waiting for.
"Solus?"
"Hmm." It was barely a response.
"Do you like drinking?"
"I like what drinking does to me." She answers truthfully.
"Do you like smoking?" I asked slowly baiting her. If I could get her to stop drinking for more than two weeks, that would mean some progress for her health.
The way I tried to do it before only pushed her away from me.
"I love what smoking does to me." She answers again.
Very blunt and broad answers, but alright.
"So if you could drink or smoke only for the rest of two weeks, which one would you choose?"
"Smoking." She said as the sound of gun shots came from the TV, pressing buttons on the controller with a determined but sleepy look on her face. "Drinking take a lot more effort, and I don't like using the bathroom so much."
"So do that." I say.
"Do what?" She asks.
"Only smoke for the rest of two weeks." I repeat to her. She gives me a sarcastic laugh, shaking her head as she leaned back in her seat. Her bad leg stretched out in front of her, the wound wasn't healing as fast as it should be.
"I can't." I says.
"Why not?"
A brief moment of silence falls between us as VICTORY flashes across her screen in all neon green letters. She looks to me and shrugs her shoulders.
"I just...can't."
"I think you can."
Use encouragement, don't talk down to her.
"I don't think you have to drink everyday."
"But I have to." She argues. "I do it all the time, I mean I have to."
"But you said you like smoking more than you like drinking. You said you love smoking more. So do the one that feels better." I say as nonchalantly as possible. If I argue back with her it'll turn into an actual argument and that would be entirely counter productive.
"Why?" She asks tilting her head to the side as she looks at me.
"Because you don't need it." I shake my head.
"But I do."
"But you don't." I say again.
"But I do!"
"You don't." I say calmly moving to her side. Removing the controller out of her hand. Taking both her hands in mine, my beast feels much more at peace now that we're holding her. The gentle waves of our touch reverberate between us and I see Sol's face soften.
Her eyes glowing gold, her wolf is much more present now.
"If you can go an entire two weeks without drinking then I'll grant you one wish. Anything you could possibly want."
"Can I smack you for all the times you've made me angry?" Her eyes connect with mine, but I don't sense any malice behind her words.
"Yeah, sure." I say smiling.
Her gaze falls from mine as she stars at our connected hands. Silence as she contemplates our deal, finally she pulls away.
"I can't." She leans back against the couch.
"Why not?"
"I need it." Hearing her voice, I can already tell this is a reality for her. She's already accepted this and this is the only truth. Ready to argue back, to tell her that she doesn't, but she speaks again.
"I already know, that I'm an alcoholic and drug addict. I'm not going to pretend or lie to myself, or tell myself that I'm a healthy person. I know I'm not." Her voice is filled with an undeniable sadness, I can feel it with my own beast. "You can see into my memories right?"
Her head swivels to me, her droopy eyes locked onto mine.
"Can you tell me how old I was when I had my first drink? I honestly can't remember anymore."
I take free liberty as I comb through her memories. It shocked me. The darkness and coldest parts of her mind, a mind of someone that was still too young.
Looking back through her mind, I saw life before she met me. She was unhinged, and in pain. Still is. She's tried every drug she's ever come across. Every alcohol she's ever been able to get her hands on, she's devoured. I even see the memories of the masquerade where she took a bottle from my bar.
Going back, and back, and back.
To when she was ten years old, her father sitting on the couch in the living room, asleep in his black recliner, with a bottle of Jack Daniels resting half empty at his feet.
Solus tip toeing over, her mother and siblings had all gone to sleep, the bottle was still open and that made the young Solus curious.
She picked up the bottle, there was still half of it left. The gallon felt heavy and the glass felt cool in her hands. Without thinking she put the mouth of the bottle to her lips, the alcohol entering and washing over her tongue.
She gagged and grimaced at the taste of the liquid.
Reminded me somewhat of my first time drinking.
But she tried again, for some odd reason. To her it must have been the curiosity of wanting to know why her father drank this stuff. Or maybe why her mother hides a bottle of the purple drink under her bed.
But in the end, when she finished the whole bottle, it's because it felt warm.
It made her feel warm. Like she was partaking in something with her parents, something that made her closer to them in someway.
My Solus. That shouldn't have happened.
Just as I was going to tell her, the memory kept playing. Solus has fallen to her butt in front of her father, her head was dizzy and her body felt weak, as it would.
"Solus." The deep voice of her father made her raise her eyes off the ground and he looked to her with drowsy eyes.
The empty bottle still in her hands, she was unsure of how she would be able to defend herself. Suddenly he chuckled. Leaning down to her he shuffled up her hair.
"Only strong people can drink whiskey."
The next few moments between them made me boil enraged. Worse than what I'd done when I heard about Amber. I wrecked almost the entire west wing of the palace when I had heard about what Amber had done to Solus.
This was worse than that.
The father pulled himself from his recliner, treading over to the kitchen and opening a cabinet above the fridge, high enough for not even her mother to get to.
He pulled out another bottle, going to a separate cabinet and grabbing two whiskey glasses.
"You're a tough wolf, just like your old man, come here." He said. Opening the bottle with his teeth, he poured them both glasses. Young Solus pulled herself to her feet, before falling down again.
Opting to crawl towards her father as her legs felt too weak.
The longer this memory played, the angrier I got.
He's the reason why all of this happened!
He is why she is the way she is! He started it all! He made her this way! He poisoned her first!
He picked her up and put her in the chair next to his, where usually his wife would sit. He gave her another glass and she took it.
I had a sick feeling building in my stomach.
"Only strong big girls drink." He said as he shot back the glass and looked to Solus expectantly. She weakly put the glass to her lips. He watched with beady eyes as she slowly sipped away at the brown liquid, smiling as she emptied the cup. "You're a big girl, right Solus?"
Her father placed her hand on her hips and picked her up making her sit on his lap. His hands rubbing over her arms and legs slowly. Her eyes could barely stay open as he stroked her hair out of her face.
"That's right honey, you're a big girl." He whispered in her ear and I pulled away from the memory before I could see anymore.
My beast with clawing at me from the inside out. Her father did more than give her a drink. The sick fuck. I was thinking of a thousand ways to torture and kill him, but Sol brought me back as she tapped the back of my hand.
"How old was I?" She asked.
With barely contained rage, I say "Ten. You were ten years old when it happened."
She let out a weak laugh as her eyes drifted back to the Tv. "I don't doubt that for a minute."
Does she even remember what happened after?
Looking at her face, all emotion wiped off as she stares at the Tv screen. Their is a sudden dullness in her mind, like I didn't just tell her she's been drinking since she was ten.
She doesn't remember anything.
Suddenly her phone goes off and she picks it up handing it to me.
"I guess that's the food."