Jonas looked out the window again; he didn't see her car coming up. Where was she? It was getting dark and it was getting late. Where they okay? He tried calling her but he got no answer.
He took his phone out 'Luka' he called when he answered it. He knew they went to the zoo today 'It’s getting late, why haven't you come back with my wife yet?'
'Dude I dropped her off like two-three hours ago. What's going on?'
Jonas frowned. Then where was she? 'I don't know. She's not home...' what if... no. There was no way.
'I’m coming over.' He hangs up the phone and called his parents. He got even more confused when they said she picked up the twins already.
His heart turned to stone and he started to panic. He tried her cell again but it only went to voicemail. He tried repeatedly but never got on answer. His family found him pacing in the living at lost at what to do. 'Oh Jonas what's going on?'
He shook his head 'I don't know where Emma and the girls are!' He almost shouted, frustrated. Didn't she know he will be worried? 'I’m calling the police,'
'They won't do anything; you know they won’t respond unless it’s been twenty-four hours. Did you call Marcus, Jesse, Kelly?
'I called everyone, they haven't seen her!'
'I thought she was heading home. She said you were taking them out to dinner.' his mom said, concern lighting her face.
He was but she couldn't possibly have known that. He didn't know what to do and with each minute that passed, the doom he felt consumed him, dragging him deeper and deeper into despair. His family sat in the living on their phones looking as worried as he was. Just as he took up his phone to call the police anyway, it started ringing. Everyone looked to him, the hope that it was Emma in all their faces. His heart started galloping when he saw her face on the screen 'Emma? Where are you? Are you and the girls safe?'
The line was quit 'Yes the girls are fine.'
'Where are you and when are you coming home?' He all but whispered a sinking feeling settle in the pit of his stomach.
'I just call to let you know the girls are safe…and that we aren’t coming back' there was a long pause 'G’bye Jonas…'’ the long whisper of her sweet broken voice carried out through his head before the line went dead, coordinating the conduit his heart was heading into. Did someone slam a door or was that only in his head? He saw it so clear, Emma walking away and she slated the entry that was her heart, her life and his access to her, sealed. How was he to reach her and open it again?
He suddenly felt like he was floating, like she had taken the gravity with her, leaving him to wonder aimlessly. No directions, nothing to guide him or keep him grounded and the worst part was that he felt so hallow. There was nothing his chest, no heart, its beating suddenly slackened to a lazy pace just enough to keep him alive… just enough to torture him. Why? She should have just taken everything, the breath from his body because breathing doesn’t mean anything unless he was inhaling her. She just left enough so he would suffer.
Jonas shook his head frantically, his throat working up and down as he tried to comprehend what was happening. His mind, his body, his heart was shutting down because he would not, could not believe that his wife had left him.
'Emma? Emma?' He tried calling her back but nothing. He threw the phone away and rests his hands on his head. What the hell just happened? 'What is it Jonas?' His mom called rushing to him.
'She left me! She's not coming back!' He forced out.
He stared around the room but he couldn’t see behind the rage that was building. His heart felt like it was shattered and instead of crippling to the floor like he wanted he focused on his anger. How the fuck could she so this to him? 'She took my fucking kids and left! How dare she?!' His mom jumped away from him as he slammed his fist into the wall. What was he to do now?
He looked around the room at the face of his family and saw they were all distraught. His did was hushing mom in his chest and Arlene was sniffing. His brother looked angry, especially William but it was Luka who approached him. 'What did you do?'
He didn't do anything! He wanted to shout. But that wasn't true, was it? So caught up in his thoughts he never saw it coming. Next thing he knew, his ass was on the floor and Luka was perched above him ready to attack again. He was anger and it's been a long time since he's been in a fight. He smiled at Luka and jump to his feet, tackling him and punching him in the face.
It went on for a while; Luka throwing punches and he returned them. By the time they were parted by their brothers and father, Jonas was breathing hard, his face ached and his hands were bruised. He didn't feel satisfied and he wanted to go again. He went after Luka but William and Grant held him back. 'You bastard! What did you do to her?'
'Fuck you! I didn't do anything to her!'
'Then why did she leave! She loved you!'
'Love me?! If she loved me she wouldn't have left! She took my babies...'
'You are just selfish, just a selfish asshole' Jonas shove William and Grant off him.
'I don't need your judgment right now Luka just get the fuck out of our house...'
'Our? Wake up brother, your own wife run away just to get away from you...' Jonas didn't let him finish as he tackled him again. 'Get off me!' He pushed him away 'You didn't deserve her you horse shit.' Jonas ignored his stinging face and hands as he pushed William away once again.
'Boys calm down!' he dad shouted sternly. 'Do you know why she left?' He ask then, turning to him.
Jonas scowled 'It doesn’t fucking matter now, does it? She’s gone and she’s not coming back.’
'Watch your mouth boy.' he remanded strictly. 'All this fighting is useless. Let's just cool off. We are all in shock and it best if everyone leaves. We’ll see you in the morning Jonas.'
Jonas ran his hands through his hair and waited as each of his family left 'Do you want me to stay with you?' His mom asked, pausing at the front door.
'What the fuck for? I'm not a damn baby!' He scowled. He glared at his mother and did not stop even when she shook her head in sadness and closed the door.
Finally he moved and went to the kitchen and took out a bottle of jack. He downed the liquor, the bitter taste burning the cuts on his lips. He took the bottle to living room and he lie on the sofa.
There, he drank himself into oblivion.
He wasn't an alcoholic, not by any means. He knew what he was doing every time he took up a bottle. It was the only way he could cope. Closed off from the world and drunk within the confines of his home. This was how he managed to exist for God knows how long. He hadn't seen his family since the night Emma left. And he couldn't blame them. He had lash out at anybody who visited. Well not everybody, just his mother. She was the only one who came and visited, everyone else was pissed at him. From William straight down to Arlene and his dad. What the hell do they got to be mad about?
Scratching his week old beard he reached for the bottle again. He was about to take a swig when he heard the front door open. His heart started racing. Was it Emma? The call of his mother was like cold water. He growled and dropped back on the couch.
She was on her regular visits, carrying him food and she cleaned everything he had broken something. From the broken glass right down to Emma clothes where he scattered it all. 'Hey,' his mom called cautiously. Jonas did not look at her. Not even when she came and put a basket on the coffee table 'I have mash potatoes with beef stew and a dish of lasagna.'
At his normal non response she moved away and started cleaning. He didn't pay her any mind, the broken glass being swept the only sound in the living room and before he knew it, he was being shaken awake. 'I'm leaving honey. Please just stop drinking and try to leave the house. Go for a walk...'
'Don't tell me what to do mother. Just go already...' he sighed and rubbed his face. Images of Emma and his girls started popping up in his mind. That meant he was getting sober. He couldn't deal with it; he didn't want to think about her. What he lost.
Fuck! His heart ached so badly or what was left of it. Was it possible for the organ to be torn to bits, was it really? Why was he still breathing when it pained him so much? His chest burned from the wound Emma slowly pierced there. 'I know you miss her, we all do but...'
'Miss her? I fucking hate the bitch. She took my children from me!' He yelled, and he flinched even at his own words.
'You don't mean that. I know you love her honey...'
Jonas laughed harshly 'Love? I suppose she loved me too right? No mother you are wrong. She never loved me; you don't leave the ones you love behind. No fuck love and all that shit. After all we never married for it. It was my twins that I secured with my marriage proposal, she was just lucky.'
His mom glared at him but it soon dissolved into pity. 'I hope you realize soon what a bastard you have been.' Then she turned around and left.
Jonas shook his head and instead of facing the truth he reach for his buddy Jack and took a swig. One turn into two and soon he was passed out in a drunken mess on the living room floor.
Jonas scowled at his reflection. Fuck he had really driven himself into the dirt. It has been three weeks since she left and now he had decided that the time for grieving was over. He was going to clean himself up and start doing something about the mess he made. He had already called the best investigators to find his wife and daughters. He had called in a favor from the same guy who had helped with Fin and he promised to keep a look out.
He was going to find her, he wanted his life back and then he was going to find out why she left him. Again his heart clench at the thought of her. Looking from the mirror he looked around his bedroom. The bed was still rumpled from where… he shook his head and quickly looked away. Making a note to get rid of it, he walked on ignoring the guilt that burned like fire from the inside out.
It was the first since she left that he came in here and he could barely stand up straight. He walked around and looked at her clothes, her shoes, and her underwear. Everything. He smelled her in her wardrobe but that could just be his mind. He took up her favorite night wear, a huge t shirt she had grown to love. He caressed it like it was her, his fingertips memorizing it like it would the soft contours of her beautiful skin. The shirt was so soft, like his wife's body. Her delectable curves pop up in his mind and he groaned. Still holding the shirt and walked into the nursery.
It was pure despair… torment plain and simple. He caressed the crib, the lining inside and the teddy bears his daughters sometimes cuddle with. He looked around the room, everything was in place. And the only evidence that it was used was the faint baby powdery smell. Again maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.
Walking around the room he then came and settled in the rocker. Emma had sit here, and most nights he would find her in here rocking and feeding the girls. He remembered so clearly. He would wake up and miss her beside him. Then he would find her in here half asleep with the sleeping girls still at her breast. He would take them up and out them to bed before he carried his wife to theirs.
A choking sound escape him and he buried his face into her shirt. God, what had he done?
'Jonas?' He jumped at his mom’s voice at the entry of the nursery. He composed his face before removing the oh-so-sweet shirt. 'Are you okay?'
What? It was fucking normal to be sniffing the shirt of his wife. It was normal. He told himself. 'Yes mother I'm fine.' she didn't look convinced and he tried to smile but couldn't 'don’t worry I'm not crazy yet. Give me about two months in then you have my permission to hospitalize me.'
'Oh honey,' he was surprised when she ran and hug him 'I'm so happy you've stop drinking and seem to be doing better. Your father and I have been so worried.'
Jonas shook his head and another form of guilt bud in his chest 'I'm sorry for everything I have said and done mom. And thank you for coming each day.' He stood and kissed her cheek, hugging her as she cried in his chest.
He had really been a bastard.
'Everything will be fine.' she cooed, and for the first time he smiled. 'Are you going to work?' She asked when she released him from her motherly clutches.
Jonas nodded, 'Going to get ready now actually.'
'Okay, I brought lunch so eat before you go?' Jonas nodded. His mom left then and he proceed to shower and get ready.
He was going to find her, if it was the last thing he does. He will, and when he does he will never ever let her go. Because this, his life now was nothing but hell and the only way his soul can find peace was if he was nestled in the sweet arms of his woman. In the beautiful presence of his wife and daughters.