𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐲𝐫 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐢 || 𝐒𝐲𝐧
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞, 𝐍𝐂
𝟏𝟎:𝟏𝟏 𝐩𝐦
Unfortunately my hating ass auntie was there. Going off I was ignoring her till she brought up my daddy. For Husson I'd go to war miss mamas needa shut her ass up.
"See that's their fucking problem, Tiani. Husson wasn't a good fucking role model. For fucks sake Saiyr found him in a pool of his own blood! AND YOU GOT THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO!" Before she could finish my momma slapped the shit out her.
"I'm so fucking tired of you Bren.. everytime you come here all you do is be fucking bitter and take the fact that your life ain't shit out on everybody! I'm sorry I truly am that your life is so fucked up but you're a grown ass woman get off yo ass and do something about it! And another thing if you talk down on MY children about their decisions again that's yo ass I was going easy on you cause I felt bad but imma be honest Bren you making it really fucking hard to feel sorry for you when all you do is talk down on people." She shook her head getting up but auntie swung on her and they was fighting fighting.
Sachie ran in and pulled Brenda off ma and took her in another room.
My mom was shaking cussing under her breath then she sighed heavily. "I'm too old to be fighting her raggedy ass."
I laughed walking over to her with an ice pack for her hand.
"It's okay if you ain't hit her I was finto. One thing she not gon do is talk about my daddy."
"Bitch out her rabbit ass mind." My momma laughed. "And tell that bitch to get her shit out my house and go the fuck home!" My momma yelled upstairs.
"Got you." Sachie yelled back.
15 minutes past and I hear Sachie yelling. So I go upstairs and Brenda tryna fight Sachie and she know Sachie don't like fighting cause she don't stop until you damn near unconscious. So I started swinging Sachie pulled me off her after a few minutes and I kicked all shit out her ass. I don't know why but I'd been angry a lot lately like I think I needa go see a therapist or sum shit.
"She okay?" I asked as Sachie looked at me shaking her head.
"I understand why momma beat her ass but I could hold my own Sai. And it looked like you weren't even-"
"Don't wanna talk about it." I shrugged grabbing a pop from the fridge.
"Ever since Adonis died you been wylin."
"I wish I wouldn't have stopped.. I wish I would've did him like Sista did Mike Epps. But I stopped so I could have closure.." I sighed feeling I don't know.. "I wish I could go back and kill him or at least beat him like he did me. See how he'd like it I don't want closure or no temporary fix I wanna take the one thing from him he took from me."
"We gon find you a therapist."
"Why? So she or he can tell me I'm this and that and dope me up on antidepressants or sum shit? When I can go get high and be numb? Yeah fuck that." I opened my drink taking a couple sips
"Sai, Sum people do the job they're paid to do. You need to get this shit out cause what if the next time somebody too late.. if I didn't stop you she wouldn't even be breathing right now."
"My nigga ain't you a RN go save her."
"Bitch, what the fuck you think I was doing having a staring contest?"
"Sach I don't know why but I haven't been there in a couple years. And everytime I think of him I just see him.." my breath caught in my throat and I felt like I was gon puke. "I keep seeing him in the pool of blood. I still feel the pain from that day like it happened yesterday. The last thing I told him.." I sniffled looking down, "I told him I hated him and wish he wasn't my dad.. what if he died thinking I didn't love him? Or appreciate him for the shit he did." I bit the inside of my cheek to fight the tears. "He was the first person I loved. The first person to teach my worth. Showed me how a man was supposed to treat me. And I told him allat shit cause he was tryna warn me about Adonis.."
"His death wasn't a suicide.." Sachie damn near whispered. "They never found his killer but if you ask me.." she sighed "never mind."
I looked up at her and she wiped my face. "No, you don't think.."
She nodded and smiled sadly.
I nodded going out to my car. Yes a bad bitch can drive Shout out to Dre stupid ass. He a real one.
I got in my car starting it up hooking my phone up and going to You and I by Keke and Avant cause my mom and Dad used to love that shit.
After hours of just riding around I found myself in the parking lot of my daddy's grave. I took a deep breath and put on my big girl panties. Getting out the car I walked over to his tombstone running my index finger across each letter of his name. Before sitting down next to it.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't see it. I'm sorry I left you angry and never told you how much you meant to me. Thank you for making me the woman I am today. Thank you for never letting me give up my dreams... I'm sorry I let that stupid ass boy make me think y'all never loved me. Why'd you leave us?" My voice cracked and I tried my hardest to hold them tears in but they came out anyways. "I miss your laugh and hugs the most. I miss crying to you about stupid shit.. you made everything feel important I promise to never let anybody come at you crazy I will defend you as long as I got breath in me. I just wish I could go back and I'd been the one they took. I know that's stupid but after you left us I didn't care about shit for years. I didn't even care about myself.. I stayed in that meaningless relationship because it was the only normal thing for me. It was exhausting but when I was alone I thought about you and I kept visualizing you laying there non-responsive cold looking at me.. I just want you to know that I love you. I loved you then.." I felt a breeze and I smiled kissing my index and middle fingers I pressed them against his tombstone getting up.. I seen my grandma walking up with Flowers and she smiled at me.
"Hey my baby. Haven't seen you here in a while. How you been Sai?" She hugged me wiping my tears the kissed the top of my head.
"I've been okay, you?"
She squinted at me shaking her head. "You forgetting I know you Saiyr. You holding onto hella hurt. Let it go baby." She smiled again. "Sum boy was watching you so just let me know if you want me to walk back with you."
"How are you okay with-"
"Baby, it's life people come and go. Losing him hurt so much.. but baby, he watching over me or he's at peace something he wanted more than anything else. He did stupid shit and that costed em his life. I wish I could've gotten thru to him but it is what it is. All I can do I look back on all the times we laughed together. And pray that y'all okay."
"But how are you holding up this well it's been... like 9 years and it's still fresh and hurts like hell."
"Because you don't know how to let go.. you gotta let go baby, it don't mean you forget him. It just means you've forgiven yourself for the shit you couldn't control." She squeezed my hand as someone came up and she pulled me behind her.
"I might be old but I'll beat yo ass young man back tf up." She said calmly.
"It's not like that I just came to see how Saiyr was." Remy said softly.
"You know him baby?"
"Yes ma'am." I smiled softly and she let me go.
"Take care of my baby okay?" She smiled at him as we walked off.
He nodded "yes ma'am."
When we got in the car he just looked at me.
"You good young?"
I just nodded and started the car trying my hardest not to look at him.
"Use your words Saiyr."
"I don't know honestly but imma be aight." I shrugged looking at the road.
He turned my face toward his when we got at a red light and looked at me but it was like this muhfucka seen through me. "Youn gotta do that wimme Syn. Keep it a band wimme. I got you through whatever, remember that."
I smiled and looked away because I felt like I was about to cry and he started playing sum music. He skipped until I heard "Pretty... Brown.." and we looked at each other and started singing.
You keep holding on
To your thoughts of rejection
If you're with me you're secured
You keep telling me
That your time is always taken
But I keep seeing you out alone
Listen to love
Your heart is pounding with desire
Waiting to be unleashed
One thing bout me I love that song😌.
➸
We pulled up to his house and looked me dead in my face and said "be honest if I was making music and it was ass would you tell me or let me think that shit was fya?"
"I- Boy imma lie my ass off can't have you out here thinking you not special."
"Get out, gon have me thinking I can get us out the hood sounding like Ice JJ. A damn shame."
"How you gon put me out my shit? And don't do him his non singing ass rich now." I laughed getting my phone and keys.
"See you got out tho."
"Boy I'm tired and ion feel like driving to Garner. Shut up bitch." I rolled my eyes walking to his front door.
He nodded his head unlocking the door and we went in I went straight in the room getting ready to go to sleep. I walk my lul ass out the bathroom and this muhfucka grabbed the fuck out my neck and looked me dead in my eyes. His eyes were low and red, he started kissing me. After a couple minutes he slid his tongue in my mouth lifting me up carrying me to the bed.
➸
𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞 || 𝐏𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐢
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩
𝟏𝟐:𝟐𝟓 𝐀𝐦
*it's the next day.*
Me, Ace and Murda just got back from hitting a lul lick. And I'm chilling. And Elease walk in, she almost stumbled over her own feet so she bout to start sum bullshit. Ion even care for it.
Before she could say anything you hear somebody moaning.
Everybody looking dumb but ima assume it's Sway and Ghoulz and tend to my business.
"Poudii.."
I just got my on phone.
"Marcellus!"
"..."
"I'm not doing this with you no mo Mar.. I just came to tell you I'm done. I won't keep going through this with you."
I just looked at cause what she want me to do beg her to stay? Fuck that this shit mad annoying. Every other day she on my dick heavy talking bout she in love then all of a sudden she tired of playing games and want somebody that's gon love her for her. Fuck Ever, cause she be the one scared to commit ion got time for this shit.
"So you don't care."
"Not at all." I shrugged nonchalantly.
Me, Remy, Ace, Ghoulz and Sway was in Walmart getting sumn to munch on and sum girl walked up to Remy and he ignored her.
She got all in his face and he mushed her ass back.
She called him rude and. His drunk ass said "I gotta GIRL! A GIRL! Ion gotta be nice to nobody but her!"
"I Hope Y'all don't think this a twerk song this one for the banging bitches right here baby!" Ghoulz yelled throwing up sum made up shit.
"And what you just claim?"
"Bitch if you must know I spelled my name." She laughed "aye I bet I can make it in Thea." She picked up the ball and dribbling it a lul.
"How much?" Ace smirked.
"For you? 250." She smiled back.
"Aight, let's do it."
Me and Remy put our money on Ghoulz and Sway said she ass.
She broke ace ankles and made it.
"Thank you very kindly." She smiled snatching her money.
"You forgetting her ass was onna whole basketball team." Remy laughed helping Ace up.
Sum white lady came up to us asking us to be quiet and Heavyn being Heavyn looked her dead in the face and bent her wrist hitting against her chest repeatedly and tried biting her ear.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry.. bless her heart." The woman smiled softly walking off.
"Yeah bitch mind ya business." Ghoulz laughed walking away.
➸
𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲𝐧 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐬𝐬😭. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭🥰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐡𝐡𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥💀