So, Peppy was like, "Blah blah blah- There's different kinds of Trolls- We're Pop Trolls."
And you were like, "Oh shit, not more of them." Because you can only deal with so many optimistic skittles at once... and apparently that consists of a whole village-
And all the other trolls were like, freaking the fuck out.
.... and that's how you ended up squatting in a hidden area by a waterfall with Poppy, Branch, big blue boi, Giraffe dude, Man-child-girl, Glitter bitch, and your favorite senile old dude, who was talking...
Oh wait, he's talking, you should probably pay attention-
"-Each tribe would take a string... and go their separate ways..."
Oh shit, you dumbass, you missed the whole thing-
"We've lived in isolation ever since..."
Honestly though, kinda sounds like you before you ended up here... good times-
"So Barb wants to reunite the strings so the Trolls world can be one big party again!" Poppy exclaimed, sounding like she knew exactly what was going on-
You nodded along, because in all honesty, you weren't paying attention either-
"Wait-" Branch shook his head, "was that all you heard?"
Oop- you could see the forming 'Branch is disappointed' look- so you quickly began to shake your head at what Poppy said like you knew what the fuck was going on-
Holy shit, you really need to stop spacing out, because there's a strand of pink tooth-floss behind that waterfall... cool.
"Behold! The Pop music string..." Old dude said as he plucked the string-
.....
....... did... did it just moan?!
You slapped a hand over your mouth as you snorted, coughing a bit as a weird floaty glittery pink heart came out of the string.
It seemed that everyone was too busy staring in awe at the moaning tooth-floss to see you dying right next to them.
"We need a plan..."
You cleared your throat and tried to focus back in on the conversation when Branch said that...
The old king shook his head, a smile forming on his face. "Don't worry, I've been preparing for this day for years..."
"We run!" He suddenly started panicking. "And hide!"
"On it!" You look over to Branch, only to find him covered in camouflage- like how the fuck did he do that so fast?!
"(Y/n)! Get down here so I can put camouflage on your face!" Branch frantically made a 'get the fuck down here' movement, camouflage paint-dirt-stuff on his hands.
You leaned down, finding his 'Survival mode' pretty damn funny to witness. "Cool... draw a dick while you're at it."
... Branch paused, hands stopping in their attempts to smear camouflage all over your cheeks. "A dick?"
......... There was a moment of silence as you leaned back up, eyebrows furrowed slightly in concerned confusion. "I-.... you guys really worry me sometimes... alright, hold on..."
You then proceed to draw a dick in the dirt, hoping there would be some kind of recognition for them...
... "I don't know what that is." Branch said, looking down at the doodle you made, and everyone nodded along with him.
What?! How-?! Goddamnit, hOW THE FUCK DO TROLLS FUCK THEN?! YET ANOTHER UNANSWERED QUESTION!
You shrugged, ignoring the internal screaming going on in your mind. "Eh, if I had a pencil and some paper, I could draw you a more detailed one."
"Eeeeeh, I don't think I want to..." Branch slowly started, shaking his head... before looking up at you... then back to the Peppy... then back to you...... Then gasped! "Barb doesn't know about (Y/n), and her and her shelter are too big to not be spotted!"
"Rude-"
"Come on (Y/n)! We gotta dig a big enough hole for you to hide in!" He shouted, already running off and pulling a shovel out of his hair.
Damnit-
"Ughhh, fine." You groaned as you slowly began to crawl out of the weird, hidden, area-
"Wait!"
Everyone came to a halt as Poppy's yell.
She started going off about how her father is running away from someone they've never even met- and honestly, you used to do that all the time back in your world, so you can't even say shit-
Once the argument was over, and Peppy and Branch started running off again, and you turned to follow them-
"(Y/n), wait!"
Ah shit- you slowly turned around to look at the queen.
"You believe me, right? You don't think Trolls are different from each other, right? That we can all get along?!" She ran up to you, placing her hands on your knee and grabbing onto the fabric of your sweats, which was in the dirt from how you were squatting.
"Uhh, sure. No pre-discrimination here." You shrugged, watching as Poppy deflated in relief.
"Oh thank God!..." She glanced around at the other Trolls and then behind you, and seeing that Branch still hasn't noticed you weren't behind him, she motioned for you to come closer.
Nearly broke your back, you bent down so she could whisper in your ear.
"Will you come with me to find Barb and the other Trolls? I'm leaving tonight." She pulled back, looking slightly nervous that you'd decline.
... an adventure? After you've spent a year sitting on your ass, bored as fuck...
"Hell yeah." You grinned, causing Poppy to grin as well and do a little happy dance-
"(Y/n)? (Y/n)! Come on!" Branch called to you from outside the secret area, and you gave a short wave goodbye to Poppy, an evil grin on your face as you crawled out, seeing an inpatient Branch with his arms crossed... and shovel still in hand.
"Sooo, were we digging?"
Those words seemed to get him back into 'survival mode', because he suddenly started doing that weird sneaky walk thing he does sometimes when he thinks there's something dangerous nearby. "I don't know yet. It can't be too close to the village or the shelter, because it might make it easier to find you- so I'm thinking we should do it deeper in the forest- but there are more Troll-eating creatures out there, so it'd be harder for me to dig with you- but that also means it'd be harder for Barb to find you..."
This went on for awhile, with him walking towards the deeper part of the forest, doing the weird sneaky ninja moves and keeping an eye out for any hostile wildlife, and you following behind him, hands shoved in your pockets as you watched all this happen.
It eventually got to the point where the sun was no longer visible, being covered by a dense layer of trees, and everything was glowing like someone cracked open some glow-sticks and smeared it everywhere... it was definitely interesting to look at, and the wildlife glowed as well... and they were all humming some random song... weird.
You almost didn't realized Branch stopped, saying this was a good enough spot, being so damn distracted by all the glowing shit around you, until he called your name, causing you to snap out of it...
And a shit eating grin crawled onto your face. One that Branch knew meant trouble for him.
"Damn, my dude, if you wanted to get me alone like this, you could've just asked~"
He really shouldn't respond... "W-what?" But it was too late.
"I mean, usually when a dude brings a girl to some cool place like this, it always leads to, you know..."
You made that damn clapping noise again with your hands.
And you know that shit only happens in the movies and books and not in real life, but you're a lying bitch and the look on Branch's face only made it better... and the fact that you didn't want to dig, so this is the quickest and most entertaining way to get out of it-
"I! I- I- no!" Branch was completely red in the face again, ears drooped, hands waving frantically in front of him, and a look of complete mortifications on his face. "No no no no! T-that's not- I didn't- I'm not-" He took a step back and kept stuttering as he tried to defend himself.
Why is it so fun to mess with him?
If you were any eviler, you'd keep going...
.......... maybe later-
_____________
So, you ended up not digging that hole, so good for you, because you managed to embarrass Branch so bad that he couldn't stay in the forest any longer after what you said, and you both returned to your separate homes.
Branch might like you, but he's not ready for that kind of commitment! He didn't know spending time alone in areas like that was seen as a cuddling advancement for humans! He would have made it very clear that it wasn't like that beforehand! But now he's too flustered to even get a proper sentence out!
After awhile of hiding in his bunker, Branch realized he still needed to find Poppy to make sure she wasn't going to go do something stupid... and lo and behold, when he found her, she was packing things into a hot-air-balloon for travel... and she sent that weird little flying creature away with a letter and covered in glitter...
After a childish argument, he resolved that; if Poppy wanted to go find out that not everyone is nice and want world peace, then he'll let her.
He watched as she packed away the last of her baskets full of sweets, arms crossed and scowl on his face.
... At least she didn't manage to rope (Y/n) into this-
"Damn- there you are, Poppy! You could've told me where we were meeting, would've kept me from bitch slapping some weird ass spiders and-"
...... he made eye contact with the very person he was hoping still had some common sense...
........
...
.......
".... Sup..." You awkwardly broke the silence, hands shoved in your pockets again. ".... You coming too?"
"No."
Oh shit, he's doing that face again.... the 'You have disappointed Branch' look, with his arms crossed....
"That's cool too....."
.........
..............
...... "Well shit.... ain't that awkward..."
There was silence... You were watching Poppy pack up the last basket that you're pretty sure just teleported outside the hot-air-balloon just to prolong your suffering, and Poppy was awkwardly keeping her eyes anywhere but Branch, an 'Oh shit' look on her face like she's been caught doing something she shouldn't have... which is pretty accurate-
"Heh, Ok (Y/n)! Let's go!" Poppy suddenly exclaimed, looking just as relieved as you felt by the prospect of getting away from Branch's disapproving mom look. She cut the rope and started floating up, and you let out an exhale of air, running a hand through your hair as you Poppy became level with your shoulder, and you both shared a relieved look.
"What?!" Branch was ignored as you and Poppy both tried to get the fuck away from the awkward silence.
"Oh thank god- that was so fucking awkward." You groaned, already beginning to walk away. "Bye Branch! See ya' later-"
"Wait!" He called out in exasperation, sighing dramatically as he used his hair to catapult (did some sick acrobatic moves) himself into the floating basket with Poppy. "I guess I'm coming with you two..." He sighed, sounding like it was a burden on his very soul to put up with the two of you.
"Oh thank god!" Poppy suddenly cried, taking in a deep breath as she continued. "The more people the better!"
..... and with that, the three of you made your way out of the forest and towards.... wait... where the fuck are you going?...
... that's how we begin the true adventure, with you not knowing where the fuck you're going...
'Oh dear baby Jesus help me, I know I've done some shit that made you cry, but why did you let me think it was a good idea to follow Poppy of all people-'
Eh, at least Branch is here to help keep Poppy in check... hopefully-