Hello, sorry it's been a bit since I last updated! This chapter is long, and is an angst chapter, and the ending might be slightly confusing. It's more up to your imagination of what the end would be like!
I have the Halloween chapter pretty much done! It'll come out on the day of, so get excited for that! I finally earned my black belt in karate, maybe I should write a Kuro one-shot....
This was requested by: kiuwua
I promise you I will write that Kohaku one-shot as soon as I get to learn more about him! Question: Favorite Valkyrie song?
~~~~~
Enough to be acknowledged but not enough to actually be seen. In the shadows, a nameless nobody, trying to achieve a dream. I so badly wanted to reach out, but I was too far. Even if I did make it there, I was afraid I'd get burned, by that blinding light he was engulfed in.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by a harsh voice, "(Y/N) your hair is going to be ruined, you have any idea how long I worked on it for?"
"Sorry Itsuki-senpai." I whispered.
I didn't get a response, I could feel his fingers gently combing through my hair to see if he could get the multiple hair accessories to work. Of course those weren't for me, they were meant for someone with actual talent, for those who could go on stage and captivate the audience. It was for idols and for the people who represented the entertainment industry, not their producer. I worked in the shadows, while they worked in the light, spreading joy with every heart they touched.
I was assigned to work with all units in Yumenosaki, being the only producer, but I still didn't understand why Valkyrie needed me. I greatly admired the two who made up the unit, Shu and Mika, but they were amazing without me. Sure, I may have helped out with music a few times but it was nothing compared to what Shu and Leo could do.
I would stay a quiet and reserved marionette, Shu pulled the strings and instructed me how to move. Afterall a puppet without a puppeteer is nothing. I was content being a marionette or a mannequin, or rather that's what I thought....
"Huh?!" I gasped, as Shu tugged on the corsets string tightening it, after moving on from my hair. "Can't breathe...."
"Oshi-san, that's not good fer anyone. Yer goin' to break her bones like that! She's already skinny, ya might kill her if you try to make that corset tighter, no one is goin' to wear it like that." Mika looked at me alarmed.
It was getting harder to breathe, I might pass out if he doesn't let go. "Mika... inhaler... bag... please?"
Mika got the message and quickly tossed the inhaler towards me before explaining everything to Shu. "She has been havin' a bit of an issue with breathin' lately, no one knows what it is though..."
"Well, someone should have notified me earlier, if she ends up hurt then it'll be my fault." Shu's concerned expression set my heart aflutter, but I knew that it wasn't really a concern for me... it was for his art, everything must be perfect.
"Well I think that this is enough for today." Shu said as he gently undid my hair and helped me take off the dress.
Unfortunately the coughing did not cease, but it did go down. I quickly excused myself and ran to the bathroom. I began to cough, a lot. In the midst I began to cry, I was coughing up blood, it had been happening for a few days now. It wasn't too much, I wouldn't faint from the amount of blood I lost but it was excruciatingly painful. But today was something new? There wasn't blood, not much anyway, replacing the majority of the blood lay scarlet colored rose petals. I coughed up a few more, I stared at them confused before breaking down.
Why? Why on earth was I coughing up the petals of a flower, more specifically the petals of a rose? It was terrifying.
No one I knew in my family had the same problem as me, this was something new, I didn't know what was happening to me.
Once I managed to calm down and fix my appearance to be presentable I walked back to the arts and crafts room.
I walked in to find Shu at his desk, working on something as usual and Mika sitting on one of the many chairs in the room. I went over and sat next to him, he gently rubbed my back and asked if I was alright, I lied that I was. He looked like he wanted to say more but he refrained, maybe he could tell....
Being close to Shu, that's all I ever wanted...right? At some point I craved more, I wanted him to really see me, not just as his mannequin but as a human. I wanted to be loved, for I loved him but I doubted he felt the same way. He stole my heart while I wasn't looking.
It wasn't easy to get along with him at first, the occasional spools of thread being thrown, some accidentally hitting me. His sharp words, like knives cut through me, but soon I realized he was still scarred from what happened last year. Nii-chan told me what had gone down the previous year, I could tell The War still hurt anyone who was involved. He was trying his best to fully recover, but I wanted to be there for him. Unfortunately I wasn't seen as truly human by him, so was it even possible for me to dream of such things?
The three of us worked into the evening. I wrote song and costume ideas for various units, while Mika and Shu focused on sewing only they knew what. I looked down in my sketchbook, I wanted to present the ideas to him, but I wasn't ever sure if they were good enough. Mika had seen them, he assured me that they were alright but I still couldn't find it in myself to show them.
Soon enough we all began to pack up and get ready to retire for the night. I was about to leave after Shu, since the three of us tended to go home together but Mika grabbed my arm, holding me back.
"(Y/N)... I don't want to pry but I know yer are hidin' somethin' from me... don't tell me if yer not comfortable, afterall I'm not the best with emotions...." His colorful eyes looked at me with concern.
"M-Mika-kun...." I felt warm tears well up, I put my arms around Mika hugging him. He tentatively put his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. I pulled away a bit so I could speak clearly, "I- I've been coughing up flowers...."
"Ya what?!" He exclaimed in alarm. "I have a bad feeling about this...."
On cue I coughed, a few rose petals fluttered out of my mouth, I caught one and held it up for Mika to see. "It's a real rose petal. I used to cough up blood before, but now a lot of it is replaced by these. It seems like it started today after the dress situation."
Before Mika could reply, our phones buzzed, I turned it on to find a message from Shu in the group chat between Valkyrie and I.
Shu
Honestly how long are you going
to make me wait out here?!
Mika
I have some work to finish
so go on without me Oshi-san!
(Y/N)
I have to finish some research for
a project so I'll be staying
behind as well.
Sorry for not letting you know
earlier Itsuki-senpai.
Mika
'Night Oshi-san.
(Y/N)
Sweet dreams Itsuki-senpai
Shu
Yes, good night.
I looked up at Mika, my eyes sparkling. He knew, "ya like him?" I gave him a silent nod as an answer. "(Y/N) I think I know what it may be, we're goin' to have to do a bit of research before we leave."
Mika took my cold trembling hand in his warm one and led me out of the room. "Let's head to the computer lab."
*~*~*
I scanned the computer screen, answers, that's all I need.
"(Y-Y/N), I was right, this is what it is...."
I leaned over to read Mika's screen. After finishing I was speechless, I have the Hanahaki disease.
Everything matched up, I was in a one-sided love with someone and I have begun to cough up flowers and I could die if I didn't get this cured within a certain time frame.
"Ya can get surgery to get them removed...." Mika trailed off.
I shook my head, "no, I mean it's not that bad right now.... Plus the chance of losing all my memories about him and with him on top of losing the feeling I have towards him is too much."
"Well, I'll try to support ya as much as I can! Maybe I can help him see ya and he might fall for ya too. As your friend this is the least I can do."
"Thank you Mika."
*~*~*
I lay awake in my bed, running through the day's events through my mind. What sin did I commit to be cursed with such a cruel fate? I had coughed up even more petals when I got home and ended up having a mini-breakdown. How was I going to hide the petals?
"I'm scared...." I whispered to the darkness of my room, before shutting my eyes and drifting off to sleep.
*~*~*
Hiding the fact proved to be incredibly difficult, especially while at school. I would try by best to suppress the coughs or I would have to excuse myself so I could flush the petals down. I couldn't leave a single trace of a petal behind, I didn't want anyone else to be unnecessarily dragged into my mess.
Once again Shu was using me as a mannequin to test out clothes on. Which meant, the dreaded corsets were coming back. Why did he need corsets? I understand the theater club and their dresses, I didn't know they went this far. Poor Tomoya.
"Just a little more...." Shu muttered, as he gave the corset strings one last tug. I wildly gasped for air, while trying not to cough at the same time. Once he finished with the back, he moved on to testing out a few hair bows and hats.
When he moved in front of me, I shut my eyes. I could feel the color blooming on my cheeks, if I made eye contact with him so close I'd probably be a blushing mess.
"Keep your eyes closed." He whispered. I felt his hands on my shoulders as he guided me around the room. Well this is something new....
"Open."
I slowly opened my eyes and gasped. The dress was beautiful, I hadn't really seen the dress in its full glory since I was wearing it most of the time, and also the fact that I was too busy trying not to die since I was having the life being squeezed out of me because of the corset.
The dress was in a deep red color, accented with gold, just like Valkyrie's stage clothes. The dress didn't go past my knees, so it was somewhat easy to move in. It could be worn during both a casual walk outside or a formal event. My bangs were pushed back by a red hair bow, revealing my eyes.
"Wow, Itsuki-senpai, you really outdid yourself. Whoever gets this is going to be ecstatic!" I said with a wistful smile.
"It's for you...." He mumbled.
"E- excuse me?" I was clearly shocked.
"Well, you see, this is just something I was working on off to the side. No one seems to be in need of a dress so you can have it. Don't overthink it." Shu hastily turned his gaze away from me.
"Thank you...." Though this wasn't supposed to mean anything, I still loved it. It was still from him.
He helped me remove the corset and dress and I once again ran out of the room to proceed to cough my lungs out. It felt like it was growing worse everyday. The blood and petals were now a familiar sight to me. The vines and the flower buds slowly growing everyday, determined to suffocate me.
I'll be fine. I'll be fine...
I continued repeating those words in my head over and over again like a mantra.
*~*~*
"Oshi-san! I was wonderin' if ya and (Y/N)-chan would like to come with Naru-chan and I this weekend. We're goin' shoppin' at that big mall, the one that's five minutes away from the park."
"I have no interest."
"I'll come Mika-kun!" I replied with a smile.
"Thanks! Come on Oshi-san, don't be like that. There are some fabric stores and the like there. It'll be nice if you and (Y/N) both came." Mika said, trying to convince the pink haired male.
"Fine, stop making such a ruckus. I suppose I could use some new fabric and other supplies, we've been saving up quite a bit...."
Turns out Mika was doing this for my sake. He asked me if I was okay with Arashi knowing my condition, so we went to explain everything to her. She already knew about my crush, but this of course, came as a shock to her.
"Oh my! (Y/N)-chan! A maiden should never have to go through such a thing!" Arashi exclaimed. "Don't worry, your Onee-chan is here for you. I'll do whatever I can for you (Y/N), I can't watch something like this happen to my friend." Arashi pulled me into a hug.
"Thank you so much Arashi-chan."
*~*~*
"So we're goin' to shop, like normal and then we'll ditch you two, so Oshi-san will have to spend time with ya and talk to ya!" Mika grinned. "Plus while you guys are alone, it'll be a good time to show him your sketches, ya have to believe in yourself, those designs are really something ya'know."
"O-ok!" I vigorously nodded my head. I began to cough a bit alarmed. I covered my mouth with my hands, I was still at school in an empty classroom, but someone could still walk in.
Mika gently rubbed my back, obviously concerned. Once the coughing died down I withdrew my hands from my mouth and gasped at the sight. There were so many petals and among them small roses. It's been a month and half since I had begun to cough up the flower petals. Each day it's been getting harder to get by without anyone noticing my state.
Flower petals were scattered all around my room and bathroom. I tried my best to clean up the petals, but constantly cleaning was beginning to get exhausting. Especially with me coughing more frequently, along with the larger amount of petals and small roses, everytime I'd clean more would appear by at least the end of the day.
Even Shu noticed my odd behavior, he'd ask and I'd brush him off by lying through my teeth. At times he almost seemed hurt? It pained me but I couldn't let him know.
"(Y/N)-chan, don't push yerself it's-"
I put up a hand, cutting Mika off, "it's fine. I want to go, I'll be fine."
How long was I going to last?
*~*~*
Ten minutes, I had ten minutes before I had to leave, and I hadn't even gotten ready. I groaned, what was I supposed to wear? I was busy tearing through my closet when my eyes landed on a familiar red dress. I could wear it casually and without the corset....
I put it on and observed myself in the mirror. It looked fine... I shrugged, it won't hurt anyone.
*~*~*
"Itsuki-senpai, Mika and Arashi-chan!" I waved happily while walking towards them.
"Hello (Y/N)-chan! Are you ready?" Asked Arashi.
I replied with a nod as we walked into the mall. We passed by clothing stores, occasionally getting distracted by something on display. We were actually going on our way to some of the arts and crafts stores located on the other end of the mall.
Shu and Mika had a field day looking at all the fabric, coming up with stage costumes on the spot. I smiled seeing the two so happy. I walked around seeing fabric that would look perfect for my ideas, but I didn't buy any, I doubted that I'll ever make them. I sighed, if only things could continue to be bright and happy.
*~*~*
"Naru-chan and I are going to go get some drinks. In the meantime you two stay here and find us a nice spot okay?" Mika beamed while dragging Arashi away with him.
Shu and I stared at the pair as they walked away. I turned towards Shu, "so um, how are you Itsuki-senpai?"
"I'm doing quite alright, thank you. I noticed you wore the dress, it doesn't look half bad on you." He replied.
I clutched the strap of my purse, which held my phone, wallet and most important of all, my sketches.
"Ah, thank you... oh! Why don't we sit by that tree there, it'll provide us with some shade." I ran to the tree, maybe it's finally time I get the courage to show them to him. I doubted I had much time left anyways.
I leaned against the trunk for support. The distance wasn't even far, so why was I panting so much?
I slumped to the floor trying to even out my breathing. Shu came over looking slightly concerned, seeing the state I was in.
My throat went dry, I began to cough. The scarlet petals and the small rose flowers fell from my mouth. I had no time to even try and cover up the petals until it was too late. I doubled over in pain, letting loose a few tears.
Shu quickly grabbed me and set my head on his lap allowing me to lie down. "(Y/N)! What happened?! I'm going to get those two."
"H- hanahaki...." I looked at him.
"What?! N- no matter, you'll be fine. I won't even let gods take you away!" He spoke in a voice that I never heard before. He gently stroked my hair.
"I- I want you to look at this...." I pulled out my sketches and handed them to him. I weakly smiled, "I didn't have the courage to show them to you, yet while I'm on the brink of death I somehow gained the strength to."
"Don't say such things! Also these designs are quite detailed, some minor changes and they'll be perfect. Just hang on, and stay with me...."
"Itsuki, no Shu-senpai...." I could tell the vines wrapped even tighter around my lungs while the rose buds bloomed, desperate to suffocate me. "You always meant so much to me... I love you Shu-senpai...." I weakly smiled.
"I love you too (Y/N), more than you could ever know...." A tear quietly slipped down his cheek.
*~*~*
"(Y/N)!" Arashi and Mika ran over to the pair. Blood red petals lay scattered around them. Shu looked down at the girl in his lap as she tried smiling for him.
She then coughed once more and that was the last time a petal would ever escape her lips.