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Levi’s Only Hope
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Cold. That’s how Levi woke up. The floor was a bitter place to be. The floor was hard and dirty. He no longer had his coat to keep him warm. His feet were bare… As Levi’s eyes slowly opened he froze. He couldn’t see… anything. It was either very dark wherever he was or… Levi would rather not fathom the other option. He tried to move. Damn… Levi felt sore. He suddenly stopped moving. What was that? Levi breathed slowly as he moved his hands slowly. Levi could have sworn his heart stopped then and there. Chains. Shackles. Much to Levi’s horror he did in fact had shackles and chains… His stomach twisted itself into a big knot. No… No… this can’t be… But no matter how hard Levi tried… This must be a dream… The shackles were still there… Where is… Where’s Eren? Levi could barely sit up. He was dizzy and his head hurt. He almost wanted to cry, almost, when his hand bumped into a cold metal bar.
Levi was in a cage. Again. It was like a nightmare… That made Levi want to scream.
Again.
The feeling was that of nothing. Numbness. Just knowing that he was in a cage again made him want to vomit. He had so many questions running through his head. He was devastated to be in a cage-
Again.
There was a sudden alarm that went off which caused lights to flash. Thankfully Levi wasn’t blind but the sudden brightness from the lights made Levi wonder how he wasn’t blind. The alarm beeped two times in total but it was enough to make Levi’s nerves go haywire. He pulled his legs closer to him. The feeling felt way too familiar. And then he heard it. The footsteps. He felt his heart race. It was just like those times before. Where… Levi hid his face in his hands… No. Levi didn’t want that to happen anymore. Levi completely froze when he heard the footsteps stop near the bars of the cage.
“I see you’re finally awake.” Was all Erwin needed to say to make Levi flinch slightly. He stayed still. His heart raced for what seemed like no reason at all. There was a sigh that came from Erwin. It sounded slightly impatient. “Levi…” He called out and Levi didn’t move. “Levi.” Erwin snapped. “Don’t make me call your name again because I will come in there.” Immediately Levi’s head shot up. He could sense the hidden threat in Erwin’s sentence. He still didn’t move from his spot as he looked at the man who imprisoned him here. “There that wasn’t so bad, now was it?” Erwin’s face had turned from that of disgust to that of a smug grin in a matter of seconds. “Answer me.” Erwin hissed through the bars.
“No.” Levi muttered.
“No, what?” Erwin grabbed the bars of the cage. The light behind him created a silhouette over his face. His eyes gleamed with intent…
“What do you want from me?” Levi’s glared. Just because he may be nervous… he may be scared, it didn’t mean he’d show it. He’d be brave… Like the countless times before. He was honestly tired of dealing with this shit… Why did this have to happen..? Just when I was about to learn something new… Just when I was getting my new life together… Levi found himself irritated and angry. “Just cut the chase. No crap. Why did you kidnap me?”
Erwin scoffed. “I can’t kidnap something that is rightfully mine…” He paused as he pulled out a clip of several keys. “Look here… These keys belong to your shackles, the cage door and the basement door. I’ll make this simple. Behave and I’ll let you out of your cage. I may even let you out of the basement. All I want from you is your obedience, behave, do what you are told, loyalty and that’s it for now. Oh… and escaping will only result in being put back in your cage. You start from square one. So… If you want to make this easy on you, I suggest you start now by showing me your wings…”
There was something unnerving about the request. Levi was uncomfortable with the idea of Erwin seeing his wings. But… He could have a chance… “Why..? Why do you want to see them? What if I don’t want to show them to you..? I mean… You can’t force me.”
The face Erwin made in response to what Levi had said sent shivers down his spine. He didn’t like the feeling that came with it… “On the contrary Levi…” He said as he pulled out his keys and unlocked the cage. Levi knew he should have moved away but he didn’t. He sat there watching… Frozen in his place. There was a sudden yank on his chains and Levi was forced to his feet. He let out a gasp as he felt pain on his wrists. Then as he was slammed into the stone wall he felt his arms raised above his head, held up by the chains. His feet could barely touch the ground. Just his toes. And then he felt…
“Wh-what are you doing!?” Levi said in shock. He felt Erwin’s hand trailing up his back, under his shirt, right where his scars were… When Eren did it, it was a comforting jester… But when Erwin did it, Levi felt violated.
“I’m sure you’ll remember that…” Erwin said as his hand brushed over Levi’s scars. “There is a certain bundle of nerves in your back… and when you push-”
“No.” Levi’s mind raced. He had finally knew why this was so familiar. This happened once before… And only one person would know about the nerves in his back… His… rapist. That if they’re pressed just right, it will cause… “Don’t.” Upon this new realization Levi began to frantically move his body. He desperately wanted to get out of this, out of Erwin’s grip, out of these shackles that bound him here.
“I told you that you could have taken the easy way out. You could have just listened… You should have just showed me your wings like I told you to and-”
“Please.” Levi squeezed his eyes shut. This was it, his last resort… Begging. He felt so ashamed. But he didn’t want that pain. He could feel Erwin’s hand hovering right over the spot. Levi was sure that Erwin knew. “Please don’t.”
There was a long sigh that came from Erwin. “This is a lesson which you must learn, Levi. I told you to listen. So I’m not the bad guy here. It was you, just remember that.” He said as he pressed his fingers hard onto the small part of Levi’s back, where the scars were, over the bundle of very sensitive nerves. The pain was immediate. Levi threw his head back letting out a cry in discomfort as his wings, almost literally, came pouring out of his body. At the same time he heard his shirt being torn from his wings expanding and unfurling, he felt like his back was torn open and split into two. It was a terrible pain. Feathers fell to the floor from the violent outburst. His wings were numb and twitched as they sagged to the ground in a convulsing manner. Levi couldn’t move them. He suddenly felt something cold on his cheek. He realized that he was on the ground trembling. It was weird how familiar this pain was. It was only the second time it had happened. It still hurt like a bitch. “Tell me when you feel like listening…”
The cage door was slammed shut. It made a loud echo throughout the basement, but the sound barely registered in Levis mind. He laid on the ground limply, staring at the wall. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that Erwin had left the basement. Erwin had left the lights on this time… and Levi was thankful for that because now he could look and make sure his wings were not deformed or bent awkwardly. Forcing them out like that made it so that it was not only painful, but it made them numb for quite a while. Levi knew he needed to stretch them and flex them otherwise his wings would be very sore and stiff once he got his feeling back in them.
The coldness of the ground caused Levi to shudder. The numbness was already starting to go away. Slowly, he sat up. His back ached as he did so. Levi grunted as he carefully moved his wings gently around him. He wrapped them around his body and shivered slightly. He shifted so he wasn’t facing the wall. This was his chance to look around and that’s what he did. The basement was pretty plain. There was a door on the other end of the basement. Levi was curious as to what was behind the door. Something new that he didn’t catch before was the fact that right outside his cage was carpet. There was no carpet where his cage was… Had there been, he’d be a lot warmer. And then he noticed in the corner of the cage was… An actual bed? Levi looked at it wide eyed and pinched himself. So I’m not hallucinating? It’s really there. Levi got up on unsteady feet and approached the bed slowly as if it were almost foreign.
The bed was… actually comfortable. There was even a pillow and blankets. This was so pleasant despite the situation. Levi tested the bed as he laid back on it. It smelled clean. The fact that it was clean surprised Levi. A mental thought passed that he was incredibly filthy… But he couldn’t do anything because of the situation he was in. He huddled himself into the blanket that was provided. It was soft too. Levi couldn’t help but to close his eyes for a moment…
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Sleep was one thing that many people took for granted, given that Levi never expected to fall asleep. He was startled awake by the sound of the alarms going off. He knew Erwin was coming back downstairs. He sighed, not moving from his comfortable spot on the bed. He watched as Erwin walked down the stairs with a plate in his hand. Food? Erwin made his way to the bars of the cage. They made eye contact for a brief moment that made Levi’s stomach twist and churn uneasily. “Taking a nap, are you?” He hummed as he unlocked the cage door. It irritated Levi that Erwin felt no threat from Levi. The fact that Erwin walked into the cage unguarded and carefree… Made Levi want to punch that smug grin off of his face… But Levi resisted the urge. Violence wouldn’t get him anywhere right now. He needed to somehow get those keys from Erwin. But how? Levi knew that to get any progress he’d need to be friendly with his kidnapper… Or at least try to. “I figured you’d like something to eat since it’s about dinner time.” He held out the plate which consisted of steak, mashed potatoes, and some corn… Fuck. It smells good… “Go ahead Levi, I assure you that I did not poison it.”
Yeah…I bet. Drugged me to get me here. You asshole. Levi sat up slowly, cautiously. He reached out for the plate and hesitated as he grabbed the plate from Erwin. There was a fork and a knife set on the plate which Levi promptly took. With the plate settled on his lap he started with the steak first. As he cut the steak, he couldn’t help but to imagine how it would be to slit Erwin’s throat with it… What was holding him back? Why didn’t he just do it? Rapist. When Levi bit into the steak he glanced over at Erwin who was staring right back like a hawk. Levi’s eyes darted back to his food. Why did he feel so nervous? Levi mentally tried to calm himself. He needed something to distract him… “I want to clean.” Levi stated out loud.
“Clean?” Erwin repeated questioningly.
Levi nodded as he continued to eat. “I like my space spic and span… And…” Levi hated himself for doing this… But for now, it was the easiest route without violence. His back still ached and he was in no mood to deal with it right now. “If I’m going to stay here, then I’d like to clean it…” He paused as this brought up a good question, “Where do I go to the bathroom? And what about bathing? I feel filthy.” Levi didn’t feel comfortable talking about it but like hell would he sit here filthy and holding his bladder if he had to piss or something. And Levi found himself being a little cocky about the request. Though he felt that it was his right to be cocky, after all he was the one who was kidnapped. “I will not shit in a bucket. Bathroom only. I don’t even care if you hover outside the fucking door…”
There was a humorous chuckle that came from Erwin, as if everything Levi had said was funny. “And what would you do if I gave you a bucket anyway?”
“I’d piss on your precious carpet…” Levi said before he could think about it. He glared over at Erwin. “Tch. Wait… No. On second thought I take that back. That’s fucking disgusting and it would stink. It would make the carpet dirtier than it already is.” Levi finished up his plate. Since he’d be staying here, not for too long, he wanted to make sure that certain things were clear. He stared down at his plate and at his fork… and the knife. The thought of stabbing Erwin came back to him. Levi sighed, something told him that it wouldn’t be a good idea… He just couldn’t shake the feeling. All he knew was that it made him feel nauseous. He pushed his plate, sliding it across the bed, to Erwin. He didn’t want to touch Erwin if he didn’t have to. Levi felt disgusting when Erwin was touching his back earlier so he was trying to avoid contact if he could.
Levi’s actions seemed to go unnoticed as he collected the plate. Erwin stated that he would be back as he left the cage. It was odd when Erwin just left the cage door wide open… But Levi wasn’t taking the bait. He watched as Erwin headed upstairs and he couldn’t help but to notice the gun Erwin had holstered to the side of his pants. So his instincts were right. And even besides, Levi’s instincts were telling him to wait… For what, he didn’t know. An opportunity to escape? Maybe… But Levi usually always went with his instinct. It had never been wrong before. So he sat there waiting for Erwin to return like he said he would. He glanced at the cage door that was purposely left open. Levi looked down at his shackles and how the chains connected. Ah… So Levi was right. Even though the cage door is open, his shackles were still attached to the ground. He wouldn’t have gotten out of the cage if he tried… Erwin was taunting him. Taunting Levi’s freedom. At least Levi didn’t have to wait long before Erwin came back. He was carrying a… towel? Levi watched as Erwin casually walked right into the cage, pulled out his keys and started to unlock the shackles that were attached to the ground. “You’re being quite patient. What are you thinking, Levi?”
How much I want to get the fuck out of here and kill you. Levi thought mentally. He shifted slightly so that his feet were on the ground. “Why are you… Unshackling me?” Knowing Erwin, he probably was up to no good.
“You said you felt filthy, so I was going to acknowledge your request for bathing. All those things you said reminded me of how much of a clean freak you are…” He said while holding a smug smile on his face. Levi wanted to kick that smile or punch it… “Are you going to watch me all day or did you want to clean yourself?” Levi snapped out of it. He hadn’t realized he was staring. Tch. Levi slowly stood up. Levi frowned as Erwin took hold of the chains near his hands, pulling on them hard which caused Levi to grimace. He had to keep up with Erwin as they walked out of the cage. He was being led like a fucking animal… On a leash. Interestingly enough, they didn’t have to walk far, for the apparent bathroom he was going to use led to the door that he saw from across the room. He watched as Erwin opened the door and sure enough there was the bathroom inside. Toilet – check. Sink – check. And… A bathtub with a shower head – check. It was a basic bathroom. Just white and not decorated. Very simple. “Here.” Erwin turned to give Levi the towel he carried. He also gave Levi one key. “This key unlocks everything… Use it wisely.” Then Erwin turned to leave…
Oh joy… Levi was going to get his own privacy. He immediately went inside the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. To be clean was a gift. Levi started to unshackle himself. He took off his hand cuffs first and then the ones around his ankles. Levi hesitated when he looked down at his shirt. There was something unsettling about taking off his clothes… It was his instincts again… A gut feeling. Levi knew that Erwin was being suspiciously nice. Levi tucked in his wings and after just standing there silently arguing with himself, he finally took off his clothes. Levi started the shower and stepped in. He drew the curtain for the only reason of that it was instinct to do so.
It was relaxing to be in a hot shower. It felt so good to be clean. This reminded Levi of the first time he had taken a hot shower at Eren’s… He wondered if Eren hadn’t have won the auction… Would this be one of the places he be? Would he be doing this had he been won by Erwin? Wait. Did Erwin even participate in the auction? Levi could only assume that he did. Erwin seemed to be possessive over Levi… In a way that Levi didn’t like. He’d rather have Eren’s... Though Levi was sure that Eren was already possessive over him. Unlike Eren, Erwin didn’t know the normal way of being possessive. What was Erwin trying to gain from this? His love? Well he couldn’t have it. Levi belonged to Eren. Levi was in love with Eren. He wondered what made Erwin commit this crime. Why did Erwin kidnap me? These thoughts plagued Levi’s mind as he took a shower. When he was about to get out, he paused, gazing to where he had left his dirty clothes… But they were no longer there… Just the towel. But how…? The door was locked…
Levi knew it. Damn it. My instincts were right… Levi looked around and saw that there were no other clothes to wear. He dried his hair and then wrapped the towel around his waist. Levi then opened the door slightly, peering out. His eyes were met with blue eyes and Levi froze. His wings came out and wrapped around his body. Levi didn’t like where this was going… “Where are my clothes?” When he didn’t get a response Levi slammed the door shut. Oh hell no. This is NOT happening. “If you think I’m going to walk out of here with no clothes on then you are dead wrong.” Levi said. He knew that Erwin could hear him.
It was quiet on the other side of the door. Maybe he went to get me some clothes? Levi thought too soon. He felt himself lose balance as the door was abruptly kicked open. He fell backwards onto the ground, luckily his towel stayed on while his wings sprawled open in a futile attempt to save himself from falling. He landed on his butt with a thud. Levi barely had any time to realize where he was before Erwin was standing near him, towering over him. “And to think, I accepted your requests nicely… You’re just making this more difficult, Levi.” Erwin said as he reached for the shackles. “All I wanted you to do is model for me…”
“I don’t do nudes.” Levi stated. “As I said, I will not walk around naked and I will not pose nude. No, fuck that. I said the same thing to Eren. He would never-” Smack! Levi found himself cut off. It happened so fast that it took Levi a moment to realize what had just happened… Erwin had just… smacked him… hard.
Erwin crouched down as he cupped Levi’s chin with one hand, gripping tight enough to leave marks. He also did it so that Levi couldn’t look away. He wanted to make sure Levi understood… “I don’t want to hear you say his name again. Not while you are under my roof. Do you understand?” Levi didn’t reply. His eyes were the only sign of response. Erwin frowned and proceeded to smack Levi again. His cheek was already imprinted with a red hand mark… Now he had another mark on the same cheek. “I said, do you understand?”
“Yes.” It was a simple answer but that was all Levi needed to say for Erwin to release him and take a step back. Then Erwin took off his shirt and threw it right at Levi. Hesitating to move, Levi looked from the shirt to Erwin. His wings folded around Levi, his defense… After all this time… He had been with Eren… He had let his guard down. He let his walls down for Eren… And now… All those good times had made Levi blind… Had he not let Eren pass his walls… Had he stayed guarded this whole time… Maybe this wouldn’t hurt so much. It wasn’t even the physical pain that hurt… He felt like the man in front of him could burst from anything he said. That one step of the line, Levi could suffer great consequences… Erwin was violent. And Erwin would resort to violence if Levi crossed a line that he wasn’t supposed to… Levi felt like he was dangerously walking, guessing which step was hiding the landmines. If he took the wrong step… Levi knew that this wouldn’t end well… “Why did you..? Give me this?” Levi clutched the shirt in his hand. He looked at it as if were diseased written.
“Be lucky I gave you that to wear…” Erwin grabbed Levi’s chains and the key. “Get it on quick. You better be out there in less than a minute…” With that, Erwin left the bathroom, leaving Levi to get on his shirt.
This is wrong… This is so fucked up… Disgusting… But it’s the only thing I have… Levi looked at the shirt… Stared at it hatefully. He felt revolted to the idea of putting on someone else’s clothing on when it wasn’t clean and for the simple fact that it was Erwin’s. The thought alone made Levi cringe but never the less, Levi forced himself to put on the shirt. When he finished buttoning it he looked down. The shirt was extremely big on him and, this was a good thing, it was long enough to go down mid-thigh. Levi felt all of his pride leave him as he walked out of the bathroom with his head down. Levi didn’t want to model for Erwin… That was something special for Eren’s eyes only… But Levi was sure Erwin would get what he wanted… And Levi wanted to escape in one piece…
Erwin had apparently brought some lights from upstairs, downstairs as well as a couple of cameras. He had Levi sitting on his knees, with his wings out. Levi kept his head angled down as he held onto the button up shirt with a death grip, keeping in place and making sure that he was covered. He used his other hand to balance himself by placing it slightly in front of him, between his legs. “Alright, see? Now we’re getting somewhere… Expand your wings.” Erwin commanded and Levi slowly, but surely expanded his wings up and out as far as they would go. Erwin nodded in approval as he took a picture. Click! And then several more after that.
It was after the pictures were done that Erwin shackled Levi again. He grabbed one of his lights and made his way up the stairs. He told Levi to be in his cage by the time he gets back or else Levi would be granted a punishment… And Levi… Well he really didn’t want to know what that would be. But what Levi did do was steel one of Erwin’s cameras that he brought downstairs. Levi frantically went inside of his cage, closing the door behind him and jumped right onto the bed. He hid the camera under his pillow. It was weird. He never thought that he’d actually want to be in a cage… However he actually felt safer in the cage than if he was out of it. He didn’t want to take any chances.
After watching Erwin come back down to receive the rest of his things, Levi was relieved to see that Erwin didn’t seem to notice one of his cameras missing. Good. Shitwin doesn’t need to know… And after Levi was sure Erwin was gone for the rest of the day, he pulled out the camera. He looked at all of the buttons and sighed, trying to remember what Eren had showed him. Fuck. Which one… I think it’s that… Yes. I got it. Levi successfully turned the camera on. He knew what he wanted to do, what he needed to do… Levi pressed record as he turned to camera. He knew that he probably wasn’t properly framed and he also didn’t have the best lighting nevertheless Levi felt like the recording would be worth it. Levi tested the camera a couple times before actually recording himself.
Levi stared at the camera for a moment, unsure of how to start… So he just the first thing that came to mind, “I’m Levi…” He paused, “And I don’t know if anyone will ever get this or see this but… I need help. Erwin has kidnapped and imprisoned me here.” Levi raised his hand to show that he was shackled, “I don’t know what exactly he plans to achieve… I just…” Levi frowned and rubbed his cheek slightly were Erwin had smacked him, “Erwin is very violent and he resorts to violence if he doesn’t get what he wants. I should have just stabbed him when I had a chance…” Then Levi adjusted the camera slightly so he could look at it straight on. “Eren…” Levi made an almost pleading voice. Why do I feel like I’m going to… cry? “If you are out there… Searching for me… I hope you find me before…” Levi paused upon realizing what he nearly said. “I hope I get to see you again… and not be trapped here… And you too Hanji… If I ever see either of you again…” Levi bit his lip as his brows furrowed, “And no matter what happens to me… I love you, Eren.”
You are my only hope.