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In the very first week I met a young woman. She was a year older than me and we got along great. We became a couple quite quickly. And to be able to offer her something, I took another part-time job. I worked as a dancer and waiter in a nightclub. I earned good money there.
My girlfriend knew how I earned my money and did not mind. At least I was able to buy her nice things. And I liked doing that as well.
One year later I married her. I was a little bit afraid of the wedding night, it would be our first time and I had no experience at all. After all, she had been my first girlfriend. Sure, at school I had enough choice, but I didn't want to have any of these girls.
And the wedding night had been a real horror. She suddenly started screaming, that it would hurt too much and cried all night long. We tried again a few days later, with the same result. It hurt her too much. I looked for tips on the internet, but even those didn't help on our third attempt.
I blamed myself because I had no experience. When we tried it a fourth time, she screamed so violently, then I was so shocked that I didn't touch her after that. Whenever she wanted to come closer to me, I left.
Then, about three months after our wedding, she told me she had been to her gynecologist and he explained that she had some kind of disease that made her feel pain whenever she wanted to have sex. I did some research on the Internet that might help us. But after I read reports from other women who were also affected, how they were suffering and agonizing, I gave up.
We then had a loving and monogamous marriage. For my wife I was ready to accept that.
One year after our wedding we slept in separate beds because she could not bear to be near me without pain. She even offered me that I could sleep with prostitutes. But I did not want that. I wanted my wife, or none.
Although our marriage was without physical contact, it was going well. After university I started working as a male nurse in the hospital and still worked part-time in the nightclub and my wife stayed home. As soon as I met her, she made it clear to me from the start that she was a woman who wanted to stay at home when she was married. And I had no problem with that.
I knew it from my mother. But at least my wife had finished university. I had to pay the costs from the day I married her, her parents insisted on it.
At that time I had actually wanted to become a doctor. I was even registered to study medicine. But with my income, I could not afford it. A wife, an apartment, two cars, and studies, that was not possible. I gave up my dream and did it gladly for the fact that my wife is happy.
And after I ran away from my father and his main wife, my life finally seemed to improve. For the first time I was almost completely happy. Of course, I lacked physical affection and sometimes it was really hard when I listened to my colleagues, how great the sex they had was and I never got to sleep with my wife.
The separate bedrooms didn't make it any easier either, I realized that more and more. But nevertheless, I loved my wife very much and was willing to give up these comforts, because we had so much more in common.
On my birthdays I got presents and cake, Christmas and New Year's Eve we were with her family and were given presents. I thought I had an almost perfect life.
Then just before my 26th birthday on July 02, 2018, I came home exhausted from a double shift at the hospital. I looked forward to a hot shower and to my bed. But instead, a bitter surprise awaited me.
My father found me and I had no idea how. He sat in the living room next to my wife and pretended that nothing had ever happened. He hugged me, told me how happy he was to finally see me again and that I was doing well, and then explained to me that he had a third wife again who was expecting a child. And then he asked my wife when we would start planning a child.
My wife smiled and said, "We don't want to have children." That was a lie. We didn't even talk about it, because we couldn't sleep with each other. But there would have been ways she could still have become pregnant.
At that time my wife was already behaving strangely. She was no longer the loving wife that I married. She was constantly angry with me, but could never tell me why.
My father then became very rude and suggested that I look for a second wife who wanted to have children. I got so angry, then I threw him out of the apartment and told him never to come around again.
Three weeks later I came home again completely exhausted. I worked a shift at the hospital and a shift at the nightclub. I was so tired, so exhausted that I could hardly keep my eyes open.
And then my wife, once again, had a bitterly unpleasant surprise for me. And it tore the ground from under my feet. Again!
I came into the apartment, my wife was already awake which was unusual for her, and she was sitting in the kitchen waiting for me. She had prepared breakfast for me and slipped me a present. She said it was already for a 26th birthday.
"Then why are you giving it to me today?" That's what I wanted to know from her.
Then she looked me in the eyes, got very serious and said: "Because then I won't be around anymore. Today I made you breakfast for the last time and gave you your last birthday present. I will leave you today because I don't love you anymore."
I felt like she hit me over the head with a hammer. My heart felt like she was crushing it with her bare hands. "Why?" It was the only thing I could figure out.
"Why? I told you. I don't love you anymore. To be honest, I haven't loved you for a long time. You never had time for me and always put work first. Besides, I can't talk to you the way I talk to others. I always have the feeling that you don't understand me at all. As if I speak another language. I have already packed my suitcases and they are already in my car. I just wanted to say goodbye to you. Have a nice life, you boring jerk!" She said. Then she got up and left the apartment.
On the kitchen table were divorce papers, her wedding ring, the engagement ring and the keys to the apartment.
I was completely finished with my nerves and didn't know where my head was. I went into my bedroom with wobbly legs, dropped on my bed and cried myself to sleep. I cried and cried, day after day. At work I pretended that everything was fine and at home I collapsed every day anew.
Despite my acting, the medical director realized that I was not well. Well, at least I was able to convince him of the opposite for a month, and he gave me a vacation. He told me to take time to process this and only then come back.
Nevertheless, I went to work in a nightclub. From then on every night. Because I needed the money. I thought if I gave my wife more money and more presents, she might come back. After all, these things had always been important to her.
But when she didn't come back even after two months, I signed the divorce papers. Because her parents were always putting pressure on me. They called incessantly and demanded again and again that I finally sign the papers.
Two weeks later I ventured out of the house again, usually I was avoiding the public and completely curled up at home. But on this day I had to get out and wanted to get something to eat at a food stall, when I suddenly saw my ex-wife!
She was across the street with a man! She had raked herself into his arm and I could see a ring on her finger. She was very happy. But her look changed when she saw me.
I wanted to run away but my legs felt as soft as pudding. She came over to me with the man and told me: "Hi Yibo. Um, this is my fiance. Imagine that he and I can have painless sex. Maybe it was because of you." And then she laughed.
Her fiancé said, "Are you crazy? Why do you say that to him?"
She grinned and said, "He actually believed for years that I couldn't have sex, because otherwise I would suffer pain. But I only said that so he won't touch me. If my parents hadn't been in debt to his father, I would never have gotten involved with him."
I just couldn't take it anymore. Why? Why must I always suffer? Why do people enjoy torturing me so much? It crossed my mind.
And suddenly I could not breathe. I fell to my knees, gasped for breath and nothing came. My ex-wife's fiancé called the emergency call in panic and my ex stared at me sincerely. "I think he's faking it." She said.
Her fiancé suddenly said to her: "And I don't think I want to marry a woman like you. What kind of person are you? He never did anything to you, your parents said themselves, he always treated you well and took good care of you. And this is how you thank him? No, I don't want a woman like that."
He sat next to me and said, "Try to calm down. The ambulance will be here soon."
And when my ex suddenly realized it, she became fucking friendly and told me, "I'm sorry, Yibo. Let me help you."
I was suffocating, my heart was hurting so badly and she wouldn't leave me alone. "Stay away from me." I gasped.
But she got even closer and started crying. "Don't scare me here Yibo. You can't just die like that."
Finally the ambulance came. Two paramedics took care of me immediately, while the emergency doctor was talking to my ex's fiancé and asking what happened.
The paramedics put me in the ambulance and supplied me with oxygen. Suddenly my ex was in the ambulance. Immediately afterwards the emergency doctor pushed my ex outside and told her to stay away. She pretended to be scared and said she was my wife and had a right to be there.
The doctor shook his head and said, "Get out of the car or I'll help you. I have just learned that you are no longer married. So get the fuck out of here before I get rough."
She got out and he closed the door. He sat down next to me and told me he was gonna give me something to relax. I nodded. My eyes were still filled with tears that the ambulance wiped away. He smiled at me and said, "That's better, isn't it? My name is Dr. Xiao Zhan, and you are in good hands with me."
I could just stare at him.
We'll continue on the next page...