Levi plodded onward, his feet hurting in his worn out shoes, his butt aching from hours in the saddle, but he felt a strange elation.
I'm free.
He could not even really grasp the idea. He was no longer a prisoner. Allies were liberating this country. They may have already passed through this area, chasing the Nazis back to Germany.
I'm free.
He had spent too many years on the run, hiding in basements and closets, just trying to survive to the next day. He had killed and seen too many get killed. The idea of being a free man, of walking the streets openly, was so strange to him.
I'm free.
He kept repeating that in his head, but it still did not feel real. Where would he even go? He had planned for months on simply running away from the Nazis, but he never sat down and actually planned a route. He knew he needed to reach the coast so he could catch a ship to America, but many ports had been bombed. Which ones still allowed passenger ships? How did he even board one going to America?
This was why he had gone to the French Resistance in the first place. They had promised to get him to a ship, cover his passage, and get him set up with charity groups in America who would provide legal assistance to him and the other Jews seeking to be allowed in as refugees.
It could take months to save up enough money for a ship ticket, but the urgency was less now that the war was in the Allies' favor. Now that France was liberated, could he still be considered a refugee? How did one get a visa? How did emigrating even work? Surely, his mother emigrated when she moved from Strasbourg to Paris, becoming a French citizen and getting Levi citizenship as well, but Levi had been only four, so he had no idea what was involved.
For four years, he had only thought about how to escape and survive. He realized he needed to focus on that now. He needed food and water, at the very least. If he could make his way back to Paris, he knew people there who could get him set up with a job, or if the place was a bombed-out hellscape, he knew the streets and had survived for years by thieving.
If things truly were a disaster, he had learned how to survive in the wilderness. He had a knife, and that was all he really needed to build a shelter, hunt, and survive.
An hour dragged on. He was in a forest again, after an afternoon of farmlands. The clouds overhead were getting darker, and he wished he had not left the blanket on the horse. Then he heard the plinking noise of raindrops in the leafy canopy, followed by a few drops hitting his face.
"Just what I need," he grumbled. Still, with his throat parched, he turned his head up, hoping for a little water. The few drops that reached his tongue were not enough, and he had to keep moving. The Germans were somewhere behind him.
He was trying to swallow his saliva just to moisten his throat when he heard a stream. Levi plunged into the trees, batting away branches, following the sound. It was a small creek, but he was thirsty. Levi knelt by the creek, cupped his hands, and looked at the water.
Not the cleanest, but at that point he did not care. He drank handful after handful, savoring the first thing he had to drink since the awful tea that morning. Refreshed, he continued onward.
He had been walking not even half an hour before his stomach churned.
"Shit," he grumbled. He had consumed tainted water before and knew the symptoms. He fled far enough into the woods so that if the Germans came right at that awful moment, they would not hear or smell anything. Then he hurried to get his trousers down as his intestines rebelled against him.
Minutes later, tired and feeling more dehydrated than he had before, Levi trudged ever onward. The forest opened up to a small commune, a few houses, a church, a couple of shops, all looking old, like the past three centuries had not touched them. He saw the spire of a church and headed toward it, trudging up an exhausting hill. Beyond, he saw a glimpse of a castle. So, this village was rather important. That might be to his advantage, or a big danger, depending.
For now, he could seek sanctuary in the church. Although he was Jewish, he knew churches took in anyone in need of help.
The entrance was morbid. Rather than a garden to greet guests, a person passed through an elaborate cemetery, stately graves with onyx crosses, marble headstones, and carved epithets. He walked up to towering wooden doors and yellowed gothic stone arches that soared above with immense panes of colorful glass. He had to give it to Catholics: they sure knew how to make a person feel tiny.
He pushed open the heavy oak doors and looked around. It was a typical Catholic church, open, airy, light pouring through the stained glass windows like heavenly rainbows. Upon closer look, it was obvious that the place had some of their treasures looted. Alcoves that once held statues were empty; crosses probably made from gold had been broken off and taken. Nazis often looted anything of value from the churches in areas they conquered.
An elderly priest with silver hair and pale eyes wearing a black cassock came up. "Wëllkomm, mäi Jong. Bienvenue, mon fils."
Levi sighed in relief to hear the priest speaking in both some language he did not know, but also in French. He had not realized it while on the road, but he was not in France anymore, and the language barrier could be a problem.
"Bonjour, Père. I am lost, quite literally. What town is this?"
"You are in Fischbach."
"Fischbach?" The name sounded German, and that worried him. "What country am I in?"
The priest looked deeply sympathetic. "You're in Luxembourg. You really must be very lost, my son. Please, come in. I am Father Uri."
Levi thought back. What was that name he went by while on the run? "Rivaille. Rivaille Martin."
"God welcomes you, Brother Rivaille. Is there any way I can help you?"
"I seek shelter, possibly sanctuary."
"I see," Father Uri said solemnly. "Trouble?"
"Nazis," he whispered. "First, not to be rude, but I drank some stream water earlier, and it's not hitting my stomach right. Does this place have a toilet?"
"Of course it does. Feel free to wash up from your travels. Please, follow me."
Levi began to step forward, but he stumbled in dizziness. The priest grabbed him before he collapsed.
"Perhaps some water?"
Levi's stomach let out a sickly growl. "Toilet! Food would be a blessing. I've not eaten since this morning, and I'm about to shit out whatever I did eat." He paused and realized whom he was talking to. "Sorry, Father."
"Fear not. If you're looking for blessings, you've come to the right place. There is a room for you to wash up, and a study room where you may rest. I'll bring food and water, and you look like you could use some wine. You are welcome and safe here, my son."
Levi stepped more into the church, following Father Uri. He glanced into the nave to see how many people were praying. Instantly, his shoulders stiffened as he saw familiar gray uniforms with swastikas.
He hissed out a breath. "You have Nazis here?"
"All are welcome in the House of God." Father Uri glanced to where the soldiers were praying. "Well, God welcomes them, at least. The nearby castle is frequently used by Germans. Most of them fled days ago, but a few haven't yet left."
Levi felt his heart racing. All over again, he felt the fear of being discovered as a Jew. That afternoon's momentary euphoria of freedom was slipping away.
He continued on to a room where he could use the toilet and wash up. Levi rushed in and barely made it before his bowels purged out everything. He cursed himself. Drinking creek water like that had been a novice mistake, he knew better, but he was not thinking clearly yet. Everything that had happened since yesterday's slaughter was still a daze, not yet fully sinking in.
No, even before that. Everything since Eren confessed his feelings. Everything since he was raped. Everything since the Germans invaded his country and murdered his wife and unborn child. None of it had fully sunk in yet. He wondered if it ever would.
After his guts felt like absolutely nothing else was let inside, Levi set about washing up. He was glad that he could rinse himself off in a large basin, using a towel and soap to wash as much road dirt and mud off of him as he could. He stepped out feeling better.
He was shown to a study room where a plate was set out with a fish, a loaf of bread, a dollop of butter, and a wedge of cheese. Levi gladly ate, and the priest gave him both water and a goblet of wine.
"You look like you've been traveling for a while," he said. "You also seem to be frightened of our German guests."
Levi muttered, "I've had some bad experiences with Nazis."
"A Jew?" he guessed.
Levi froze mid-bite and looked up with narrowed eyes. "Would you kick me out if I said yes?"
"Of course not. Just because you do not acknowledge Christ, you are still a child of God, one of His chosen people."
"Chosen to be Hitler's punching bag," Levi grumbled.
"You said you are seeking sanctuary from the Nazis."
Levi shrugged as he ate some cheese. "If I have to. I would rather not put your church into trouble, though, especially if you have Nazis on the inside."
"God protects us all here, my son. Where are you headed, to wander into a country and not even realize it?"
Levi stared off, thinking about that question. "I don't know where I'm going anymore. I was a prisoner of the Nazis since May, conscripted to be their translator while they were in northern France. I watched my companions die, one by one, tortured, raped, executed. They kept me alive purely to translate as they rode through Belgium. Today I managed to escape. No," he whispered. "Not escape. He left me behind." Levi paused as he remembered the sight of Eren galloping away from him. "I wonder if he did it on purpose."
"Where would you like to go now? Perhaps I can assist."
"I want to sail to America. I need to get out of Europe."
"If you wish to get to America, your best plan is to go to Luxembourg City and take a train to Antwerp. The port took quite a beating, I doubt passenger ships will be heading there anytime soon, but you can travel first to London and from there get a ship to America."
"You seem conveniently knowledgeable."
Father Uri chuckled to himself. "I've helped Jews and Roma escape before. In my many years, serving God through two wars, I've come to realize that God tests us all to the limit of our capability: the capability to love, to forgive, and to survive."
Levi snapped, "Tell that to the friends I lost yesterday morning!" He bit back his rage and lowered his head. "I'm sorry."
Father Uri smiled benevolently as he refilled Levi's wineglass. "It seems God has tested you a lot. He must know you're a strong man. The proof is that you're still here."
"Are you saying my companions were weak?"
Father Uri shook his head. "I'm saying, it was their time to join our Heavenly Father, but He chose you to survive because He knew you were strong enough to continue. You're here, proof that God judged you right."
"I'm alive by sheer luck," he mumbled. If Eren had not run into that dungeon, Kitz Woermann would have shot him for certain.
"I don't believe in luck. I believe in miracles, destiny, and the Will of God."
"Will of God?" Levi whispered. Had God sent Eren to him? Was he a miracle, Levi's destiny, or was he yet another temptation?
"If God has deemed you worthy enough to survive this long, I feel it is my obligation to help in His Will. Do you have supplies for your journey?"
Levi pouted. "I have absolutely nothing but my clothes and a knife."
"The church takes tithes to help the poor, and someone with nothing certainly counts." Father Uri walked over to a bookshelf. "Ah, don't tell the Germans I hid this. They had me turn over most of our funds for the poor already." He removed a thick tome, opened it, and the pages inside had been cut out to hide a small box with money inside. He counted out a few bills and handed them to Levi. "This should be enough to get you some food and a train ticket."
"That's very kind of you, but the Allies are heading this way. Won't Luxembourg City be under attack?"
"No, apparently the Germans are leaving without a fight. That's why these soldiers are in here praying for a safe trip. You can stay here until we hear more news."
"I'd rather not stay in a place where I know there are Nazis, especially ones who might be angry that they've been ordered to run away."
"In that case, I have a dear brother in the church in Bourglinster. It's only eight kilometers south of here. He has not mentioned any Germans in his village for a long time. I can write you a letter of introduction asking him to take you in."
"That would be very kind, Father," he said respectfully.
"Finish eating. I'll be right back."
Levi picked at the fish, but his mind drifted in the silence of the study room. He thought of Eren, clinging onto his back, whispering hot words and rubbing his chest and legs in a sensual way. Levi sneered and tried to shake out the memory.
"Last night was a dream come true. I wanted to do so much more."
Levi flinched. Last night, he had let his mind wander. He had been tempted to roll around, face Eren, and see where things went from there. He had to confess, he had been curious about what Eren might actually want beyond kissing.
Instead, he acted coldly. He would not let Eren kiss him. Then just today, he snapped at him many times as Eren became more affectionate due to the drugs. He had been cruel, calling Eren a Nazi despite knowing he was beginning to reject those teachings.
"I can barely tolerate you kissing me."
That had been a lie. Although his first few kisses had been strange, he found himself gazing at Eren's lips more. Just two nights ago—only two nights ago—he had kissed Eren with something very close to passion.
Okay, maybe it really was a passionate kiss.
With tongue.
It could have been merely a lot of wine in his belly, but he had to admit, he enjoyed it. When Eren's body reacted to the kiss, Levi felt a spark of smugness. He could make Eren aroused like that.
"You make me hard. Hot. I want you more and more each day. It's making me blocked up."
Seeing Eren stroke himself from the intense arousal also did something to Levi. Not that it made him more curious, but if anything, more cautious. That was what this relationship could become. The reality of their genders suddenly felt more substantial. Somewhere in the back of Levi's mind, he knew that intimacy was probably a goal Eren wanted to reach one day, although for the moment the young soldier was still awkward with kissing.
He knew Eren had only been reacting to the drugs, but he wondered, had Eren pleasured himself like that to fantasies of him before? Had he secretly touched himself while thinking of their kisses?
"What shitty thoughts to be having inside a church," he mumbled to himself. He looked up to heaven. "Don't strike me with lightning, okay? I don't know if I want any of this yet." He sighed and looked at a stained glass window. "I just don't know."
Now, Eren was gone. He would come out of the drug and realize he left Levi behind. He would probably panic and try to search for him, but he would be forced to continue on to Metz.
And Metz ... was a death trap.
Levi forced another bite of fish with a little wine, but he let his mind think about that. Metz was a desperate last stand by the Germans. How long could a single city, even one as historically impregnable as Metz, hold out against a modern military and air force? There was a very good chance that Eren might not survive the coming battle.
He wished they could have left on better terms. Instead, he had snapped at Eren, turned down his kisses, and cursed him as he rode off. And Eren ... he knew the soldier well enough. He would feel intense anguish for leaving Levi behind. That brat would be racked with guilt over his drug-induced choice.
Then again, maybe he would be glad that Levi was free.
He just seriously hoped that bug-eyed captain did not shoot Eren for losing track of him.
Levi hated that he was so worried, and that he already felt lonely. Stupid takhshet!
Father Uri returned with a letter. "To my brother Rod in Église de l'Immaculée-Conception. There's also directions, but I deeply apologize. While I speak some French, I don't have a clue how to write it. The directions are in Luxembourgish. If you translated for Germans, it should not be a challenge. Just remember, lénks a riets, left and right."
"I'll figure it out," Levi mumbled as he shoved the papers into his pocket. "Thank you very much for the food."
With that, Levi left the church. The priest walked him all the way to the main doors and opened them for Levi.
"It's raining again," Father Uri noted, looking out over the cemetery in front of the church. "Are you sure you must leave now? It's late. You could leave in the morning."
"Thank you, but I don't want to stay here too long. The Germans who imprisoned me will be coming through this town, probably soon."
"You have requested sanctuary in this church."
"They would burn down the church if they figured out I was here. Those Nazis guests of yours could tell them."
"Then let me get you a hat, at the very least."
Levi was going to tell him no, but the priest was already hurrying to the side. He sighed and shook his head. If this man wanted to be so helpful, he would take it as purely a blessing.
Just a minute later, Father Uri returned with a tweed flat cap. "My nephew left it here last time he visited and wrote that I should keep it and give it to someone in need of a hat." He handed it to Levi. "God certainly is smiling on you today."
"I really hope you're right. My whole life, it's felt like God was one step away from smiting me."
"Not today, I think." The priest crossed himself. "Pax tecum sit, et benedicat te Deus. Go in peace, and God bless you."
With that blessing, Levi set out on the road. The eight kilometers to Bourglinster went slowly, with the rain quickly drenching him, making him thankful for the flat cap that at least kept the drops out of his eyes. Walking through the woods, with the sound of a nearby river to his left and a hill towering with oaks and pines to his right, Levi trudged onward.
How far behind were the Germans? Should he pick up the pace? Eren had been racing, Levi had to admit that he pushed the poor horse too hard just to keep up, but he had rested for an hour in that church and no army marched by. Was Kitz keeping the company at a more even pace? Had Eren truly raced that far ahead? Where was he? Was he staying safe? Was he even still following the map?
Then up ahead, through the gray curtain of misty rain, Levi saw a fork in the road. He came to a stop and pulled out the directions Father Uri had written.
"Béit lénks op der Kräizung."
"What the bloody hell does that mean?" Levi mumbled. "Wait, he said what's left and right. Shit, what was it again?"
He squinted at the directions. Why couldn't Father Uri have drawn pictures or something to go along with it? Then he remembered what the priest said: 'If you translated for Germans, it should not be a challenge.' Father Uri must have assumed that Levi translated into German, not English, and wrote this in a way a person fluent in German would be able to figure out. Levi cursed as he realized he should have actually looked at the paper before shoving it in his pocket.
The signpost showed that to the left was Stuppicht, Weier, Blaschette, and Altlinster; to the right was Schoenfels and Lintgen. Go the wrong way, and he might be wandering the countryside all night. The sun was already getting closer to the horizon.
"I think he mentioned lénks, left and right. Maybe it's related to English, so the L's are the same. Which means ... left?"
That made sense, plus more towns were listed to the left, so at least he would be able to ask for directions up ahead. He took the left path, but not even five minutes later he came to another split.
"You've gotta be kidding me." He looked at the directions now getting wet and the ink running. "Tour riets an der nächster Strooss. Riets, right? Tour, maybe that means go or turn, so turn right. I have no clue what a Strooss is. Fuck, I hope he meant turn right here."
The right-hand road wound through trees that cast dappled light on the path. The path narrowed, the forest grew thicker, and Levi began to worry that he went the wrong way. He could hear a stream nearby, though. Main roads tended to follow rivers, and rivers always led to towns.
Glancing around, it would have been a lovely walk, if not for the rain, the fear of a Nazi army coming up behind him at any moment, blisters aching his feet, and burning pain that was starting up again in his ass. That horrific rape happened not that long ago, and riding in the saddle had hurt bad enough. Now, he cringed as his hips moved and cursed each kilometer.
The forest finally opened, and he saw a gleaming white house with farmlands stretching out into the rainy horizon. He saw stables and horses out in the pastures. To his relief, there was a woman out front gathering vegetables for dinner.
"Excusez-moi, madame. Je suis perdu." Excuse me, madame. I'm lost.
"Entschëllegt, Frënd, ech schwätzen net Franséisch."
Levi bristled. Was that German? He was in Luxembourg, though. Maybe this was Luxembourgish. He held up the sheet with directions. "Bourglinster. C'est par où?" Bourglinster. Which way?
"Buerglënster? Sidd Dir op An der Buerg ënnerwee?" She suddenly turned and let out an epic holler. "Minaaaaaaaa!"
Levi jolted, and his hand went to his knife on instinct. Why was this woman screaming? Who was she calling? Then a young girl with pale skin and jet black hair kept in braids came riding up on a gorgeous chestnut horse.
"Wat ass et, Mamm?"
The woman spoke to the girl, while Levi watched the two with suspicion. At least the girl, maybe no more than fifteen, looked harmless. She flashed Levi an innocent smile.
"Hutt Dir Uweisungen un wou Dir hi gitt?" Do you have directions to where you are going?
Levi stared at her. How was any of this supposed to help him?
The mother explained to her daughter, "Hie schwätzt kee Lëtzebuergesch." He does not speak Luxembourgish.
Mina hummed. Then she saw the paper in Levi's hand, so she pointed to it. "Kaart?" Map?
"Carte!" That word was similar, and he handed over the paper. "Un prêtre a écrit ceci. Il est écrit en luxembourgeois, alors peut-être que ça t'aidera. Mais tu ne me comprends pas." A priest wrote this. It is written in Luxembourgish, so maybe that will help you. But you don't understand me.
Mina read the directions. "Ech gesinn. Dir wëllt an d'Kierch zu An der Buerg goen. Ech kann dech dohinner huelen." I see. You want to go to the church in the Castle. I can take you there. The girl held a hand down to Levi. "Op!"
Levi raised an eyebrow. "Op?"
She showed him through hand gestures that she wanted him to ride on the horse with her and shook her hand again, urging him to take it to mount the horse.
Levi hated the idea of riding even more with his butt already aching, but he had no choice. Despite the priest's directions, the way to the town must be confusing if the girl was offering to take him there rather than try to explain it. He glanced first to the mother, but she shrugged and continued to gather vegetables. So Levi grabbed Mina's hand and hoisted himself up onto the saddle behind her. With a wave from the mother, the girl clopped down the road.
Levi sighed as they pulled away from the house with its stables and riding arenas and continued through fields glistening with misty rain. "You're foolishly trusting of strangers," he mumbled.
"Oh, do you speak English?" she asked in surprise.
Levi gawked. "Wait, you do?"
"Yes. Bopa, my father's father, he is from Yorkshire. This will make the trip better. I am Mina Carolina. What is your name?"
"Levi," he muttered.
"Hello, Levi. Nice day we're having."
He glanced at the dark gray clouds and the misty drizzle of rain. "Yeah, sure. Nice," he grumbled, really not up for small talk. Besides, that sounded like a sentence she had been taught as part of a language lesson. "You know, since you speak English, you can just tell me what's written on this page. You don't have to go out of your way."
"It is no problem. I love to ride in the rain. An der Buerg is not far."
"An der Buerg?"
"Oh! Sorry, that is what we call Buerglënster."
"If it's not far, then I can walk."
"The road is odd. Whoever wrote this did well, but you need to know precisely which roads to turn on, and he did not even write in ... um, things to see ... landmarken."
"Landmarks. He apparently couldn't write in French. I don't blame him, our spelling is preposterous."
"Ooh, big word! What does that mean?"
"It means silly."
"Silly! I like the word silly. That's what Bopa calls me. But really, the trip is easy when you have been there before, but if I were to say 'go right, then right, then left, then right, then left, then right, then left,' how soon before you get lost?"
Levi scowled and kept quiet. In a strange land with the German army coming up behind him, flat open farmlands around him and no good place to hide, he would definitely either get lost or be discovered.
Mina rode the horse slowly, enjoying the sunset trip, holding her face up to the misty rain. Levi wished she would ride a little faster. He kept glancing behind his shoulder, worried if the Germans were coming. He no longer even knew which road they were planning to use. Maybe the army went right one of the times he went left. He hoped so, but he had no way of knowing, and out there on flat farmlands, he felt horribly exposed.
"Is something wrong?" asked Mina.
"I was fleeing Nazis. Hopefully they aren't coming."
She turned around to look at him. "Fleeing? What is fleeing?"
"It means to run away."
"Oh, I know run. But why would you run from Nazis? Nazis are nice."
His eyes narrowed. "Not when you're Jewish."
Her mouth dropped. "Sidd Dir e Judd?"
He wanted to roll his eyes. "Don't tell me. You hate Jews."
"No, I ... I don't ... hate..." she said, fading into a mumble, and she looked back around at the road. "My parents, they support Nazis. They sell many ... ho- ... horses, to Nazis. They say, Nazis help us, Nazis protect us. Protect from ... from ... well," she whispered awkwardly. "From Jews. They say bad things about Jews."
So, her parents were Nazi supporters. That really was unfortunate. "Do I need to get off this horse?"
"N-No," she muttered. "I have never met a real Jew." She glanced back and examined his face. "You look so ... normal."
"I'll try to take that as a compliment."
"I have only seen drawings. Your nose, it is not that big."
"Yeah, that's a stereotype," he muttered. "I've known Jews with big noses, and I've known Aryans with big mouths."
"Big mouths?" She thought about those words, then suddenly laughed. "Oh, I get it! Big mouth!" She pointed to her lips and laughed. "You speak English very well, and all these big words. Are you British?"
"French, actually."
"Oh! I went to Paris when I was six years old."
"Cute," he muttered.
"How do you know English?"
"I used to live in London."
"Really? Have you ever been to Yorkshire?"
"Actually, yes."
She spun around on the horse. "You have?" she shouted in excitement. "Is it really as beautiful as Bopa says?"
Where Levi had gone had not exactly been beautiful. It had been filthy, industrial, with smoke choking the air, the sourness of chemicals in the food and water, and soot blackening all the buildings to a dismal gray that matched the sludge in the streets. Still, he knew that had merely been the city he went to, and he did not want to crush this girl's fantasies. They might be the only thing keeping her happy through this war.
"It was like a fairy tale," he said drolly.
She looked positively radiant. "Ooh, I want to go some day. Bopa said, if I learn how to speak English, he will take me to Yorkshire after the war."
After the war ... how many children were made promises like that, and how many had been hearing those words through most of their childhood? How many more would not live long enough to see the end of the conflict?
They rode on in silence. Levi glanced back again, but he realized that every time he did, Mina made a small gasp and also looked. Sighing and against his better judgment, Levi decided to stop looking back so she would not be so afraid.
"So," she finally said, "you said you are running away from Nazis. Was it one of those ... um, Aarbechtslager? Labor camp?"
"Labor camp?" He scoffed and shook his head. "That's rich! No, I was a slave. Do you know the word slavery?"
She frowned and nodded. "Sklaverei."
"They kept me in a dungeon at night, whipped me, beat me more than once ... as well as things I can't tell a little girl like you," he muttered darkly. "Yesterday, the Nazis slaughtered all of my friends. I escaped, and here I am, lost in the middle of fucking Luxembourg, Germans behind me, Americans somewhere up ahead, and of course, it has to be raining."
"Slaughtered?" she asked.
"It means killed. The Nazis shot them. Bang, bang," he said, so she would understand. "We were locked in the dungeon, we couldn't even go anywhere, trapped in our cells, and they laughed as they killed us one by one. I only survived by a sheer miracle."
He thought about what Father Uri had said. It really had been a miracle that he survived that, and Eren showed up out of nowhere, like he had been given heavenly wings to lead him to freedom.
Mina shivered in terror. "Nazis ... slavery ... killed ... no, Nazis are good. All the Nazis I have met were nice. One gave me a candy."
Levi gazed out at the horizon. "There are some kind Germans out there, but if you're a Jew, there is no mercy from the Nazis, only death."
Mina looked stricken with horror. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think ... I know they do not like Jews, but I didn't think ... it's hard to imagine. They have only ever been nice to my family."
"Then you're lucky."
Mina did not speak again, and Levi grew pensive. She was just a child. Why had he told her such terrifying things?
Maybe because she was a child, and she was the future of this country. In every country Germany had invaded, there were bound to be people who welcomed the Nazis and supported their ideology. If this girl could grow up knowing that the people her parents supported were monsters, perhaps there was a bit more hope for her country.
The sun had set, and it was getting dark when they rode into a town with old brick-and-stucco buildings and cobbled roads. Mina brought the horse along the road, winding through streets, until they saw a gleaming church with a tall steeple. She reined in the horse, and Levi slipped off the saddle.
"Sorry I wasn't good company," he said.
"It's okay. Farewell. I hope you find help here."
"Be careful heading back. It's getting dark, and those Nazis are somewhere out there."
"I will be safe. Good night," she said, and she turned her horse, riding back down the road.
Levi sighed, glad to no longer be on a horse, but also not happy to be back on his aching, blistered feet. He shuffled forward through a garden—thankfully not another cemetery, that had been morbid—and up to the dark church doors. He opened one, and immediately he saw something he never expected.
"What the fuck!"
Sitting on a wooden bench in the entryway, eyes glazed and cheeks flushed, was Eren Jäger.
"Eren, what the hell are you doing here?"
"Careful, we're in a church," he said, laughing weirdly.
"Are you still drugged?"
Just then, a young deacon in white robes came forward. "Kann ech dir hellefen?"
Levi rolled his eyes. "Dites-moi que vous parlez français, Père." Please tell me that you speak French, Father.
"Yes, I speak French. I am Deacon Ulklin. Do you know this man?"
"Unfortunately," he mumbled. "What happened to him?"
"I'm not sure. He was found stumbling around town and brought to the church. I thought he was drunk, but he doesn't act like a normal drunkard, nor does he smell of alcohol."
Eren stared to the side intently and said with a hyper-focused gaze, "I can hear a mouse chewing in the wall."
"It's a drug," Levi told the young man. "I thought I lost him." He looked down at Eren and said in English, "Of all the insane coincidences, you just had to end up here."
"My horse," he said. "It died."
"How you were pushing it, I'm not surprised." Levi then turned back to Deacon Ulklin. "Pardonne-moi. I have a letter." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the note the other priest had written.
"Ah, this is addressed to Father Rod. He's in charge here, but he is visiting one of our elderly parishioners. It says you are hiding from Nazis. Well, you are safe here. We haven't had Nazis in this village in years."
"Hah!" Eren burst out, making both of them jump slightly. His glassy eyes gazed at the stained glass windows. "I can hear them."
The door burst open, and Mina suddenly raced in, her face pale.
"Levi! Levi! It's the Nazis. They're already here."
Eren lifted his head. "Hey, she speaks English."
Mina went on, "I reached the edge of town when I saw them. It's an entire army! They're headed straight this way. You need to hide."
Eren laughed weirdly. "Wir sind einschüchternd." We're intimidating.
Mina looked down in horror. "He sounds German. Is he a Nazi?"
"It's complicated," Levi muttered. "Explain this to the priest here. His French is awful."
She spoke rapidly to the deacon in Luxembourgish, while Levi walked up in front of Eren. "Listen to me, takhshet. Your company is coming. Make your decision now. Do you want to run away with me, or are you certain you want to stay with them?"
"I'm not deserting," Eren insisted. "If they're coming, I can get a new horse. A horse! Pferd!" He leaped up and bolted out of the church.
"Eren!" Levi watched him run, but he feared going out there. If the Germans saw him, he would be back in their service, and he would not get the chance to leave again.
Mina looked over to Levi. "Was he a friend?"
Levi stared outside with aching regrets. "Remember when I said some Germans can be kind. He's one of the nicest ones I've ever met."
Deacon Ulklin excused himself to go ring the church bells to warn the townsfolk of the coming army. Levi sat where Eren had been, the bench still warm, and as the church began to toll its bells, he gazed out the opened door at the growing dusk. Once again, he and Eren were parting on bad terms. Maybe if he had not said anything and pulled Eren inside the church, away from the German company, he would not have realized who was coming, and he could have been forced to stay, at least until the drugs were out of his system.
"It's getting dark. I need to go home," Mina whispered.
"Don't go out there until they're past."
She did not argue, staring with Levi out the church door. He heard the noise soon enough, a hundred horses, three noisy trucks, and men singing German marching songs. Levi stood and pulled away, lest he be recognized. He walked into the nave, looking forward at the altar with its massive crucifix, a skinny Jesus hanging limply from a cross.
How ironic that the people who knelt to an image of a Jew being murdered also laughed as they murdered Jews!
Deacon Ulklin returned from the belfry and walked up to Levi, looking gravely concerned. "Did you bring them here?"
"I did not. I'm a Jew. They enslaved me a few months ago. I escaped them while they were on the road. It's just bad luck, of all the towns that the priest in Fischbach could have picked, he sent me to one the Nazis were going to pass through."
"That letter from Father Uri said you were a Jew," muttered the young deacon. "I doubt you were working for them willingly, and it seems crazy that they would send a whole army after one runaway Jew."
Levi glared ahead at the religious fixtures. "You'd be surprised what they would do if a single person defies them. But in my case, it's just pure bad luck."
Suddenly, he heard Mina bellow out in rage, "Dat ass mäi Päerd." That's my horse!
Levi spun around in time to see her running out the door. "Mina, no!"
He heard whinnying from the horse Mina had been riding. Apparently, the Nazis saw an unattended horse as fair game for the taking. He heard Mina shouting, but Levi knew the Germans would not understand her, and since he did not speak German, there was not even a way for him to translate for her. Plus if he went out there and they recognized him, he lost his chance at freedom.
Then he heard Mina scream in terror. Both Levi and the deacon ran to the door and saw two German soldiers holding onto her, one imprisoning her tightly in his arms, the other lewdly feeling up her breasts.
Deacon Ulklin yelled with a booming voice as he stomped out of the church and into the surrounding gardens, "Dëst ass d'Haus vu Gott!" This is the House of God!
A soldier pulled out his gun, turned to the approaching deacon, and shot him. Ulklin stumbled backwards, grasping his chest as crimson blood spread over his pristine white robes. He fell writhing in pain.
Levi fled backward and hid behind a wall separating the entryway from the nave. For a moment, he was blinded as the sound of the gunshot made the horrors in the dungeon surge back into his mind. He shoved that aside for now and listened. He needed to focus or he was dead.
He heard the two men pulling Mina toward the church as she struggled and screamed for help. Levi stood perfectly still, listening closely to the sound of boots and German chatter. Luckily, the men stopped in the lobby. He heard the two soldiers scheming together, shouting at each other to hurry.
Levi slammed his eyes shut and calmed his breath. For a moment, he seriously hoped this House of God really was a holy place, and maybe his prayers could be heard. He silently begged God that what he feared most was not about to happen.
Then he heard Mina scream in horror. "Nee! Stop! Gitt weg vu mir. Een hëlleft mir!" No! Stop! Get away from me. Someone help me!
Levi clenched his teeth, shaking out nightmares as he heard her shrieking wretchedly while the soldiers chuckled with lewd remarks.
No! God, please stop this. Not again! If this is really your house, God, then for fuck's sake, stop them!
Mina suddenly switched to English and cried out in desperation. "Please, save me! I'm so sorry, Levi. Please! Help me."
Levi cursed under his breath and looked around the corner, only to see his worst fear was right in front of him. One soldier had pinned Mina to the floor and flipped her skirt all the way up. The other had lowered his trousers to his knees and knelt between Mina's flailing legs, stroking himself in eagerness.
Levi stared in horror as he realized the soldier preparing to rape her was the jailer, the same man who joined Grützmacher as they raped the Jewish prisoners. The scene of horror crashed into his mind, watching those women getting raped, already having been a victim himself just hours early, helpless as they were brutally violated. It all surged in his stomach, along with the rage, pain, and disgust he felt that day.
Mina lashed out against them both with all of her strength, screaming and fighting, but she was clearly overpowered. Her eyes caught Levi's.
"Levi. Help me," she begged in terror.
He had seen eyes like that, Ruth crying out to be saved, and all Levi could do was comfort her with words and try to reach through the prison bars to hold her trembling hand through the pain and humiliation.
"Never again."
Levi ripped out his knife and silently bolted forward. He grabbed the would-be rapist's hair, yanked his head up, and slit his throat in a flash.
"Brûlez en enfer, espèce de salaud." Burn in hell, you sonuvabitch.
Before the other could even yell in alarm, Levi lunged forward and stabbed the man in the throat, choking off his cry.
With his blade buried deep in the soldier's throat, Levi did something he rarely did. He looked the man straight in the eyes. For one brief moment, he hoped this was not one of Eren's men. The soldier saw him and looked stunned.
"Jude," he croaked out, recognizing Levi from the public raping.
While the face was familiar after a summer spent in their midst, Levi had no idea who this person was. He yanked the knife to the side, slicing out the entire front of the man's throat.
The soldier dropped, choking on blood and trying to scream out a throat ripped to shreds. To make sure he stayed silent, Levi stabbed the knife into the back of the man's neck, right between the vertebrae. Instantly, his body fell limp.
It was over in mere seconds, and Levi stood over the two bodies, glaring, his knife dripping blood. Mina looked on in horror. When Levi's eyes turned to her, she scuttled away.
"I won't harm you," he promised. "Are you hurt?"
She shook her head and tried to move her mouth, but no words came out.
"It's safe now." His eyes glanced down. "Fix your dress."
"Oh," she said numbly, and she pulled her skirt back down, not trying to stand yet, not while her whole body trembled with the horror of what could have happened to her, and the brutality of what she just witnessed.
"Levi!" Eren ran into the church with a huge smile. "I got another horse, so we can..." He saw the two soldiers and the growing puddles of blood. "What the hell did you do?"
"They were trying to rape her. I stopped them."
"You killed them!"
"Yes, I did," he said factually.
"They were good men."
"Did you not see the body of the priest outside? These men shot him when he tried to stop them from molesting Mina here. Then they brought her inside to rape her. Check that guy," he said, pointing to the first man he killed. "I'm pretty sure his dick is still out. Do you think men who'd shoot a priest and rape a child inside a church are good men? All I did was stop a couple of rapists." His eyes narrowed. "You did no less when it was me being raped by a German soldier."
Mina gasped. "The Nazis raped you?"
"Me and every female Jew in my group," Levi said, glaring at Eren coldly. "That bastard with his dick still out, the night I was raped, he joined—what's his name—Grützmacher, that asshole, and they raped two women right there in the dungeon, in front of the rest of us. We couldn't help them, couldn't stop them, all we could do was sit there and listen to them scream. There was no way in hell I would let him rape Mina as well. He deserved a much slower death than what I gave him. Now, turn around, go back to your army, and pretend like you didn't see anything."
"I can't let you go," Eren said coldly.
Levi's grip on his knife tightened. "What?" he asked, fatalistically quiet.
Eren scowled in disgust. "I was going to, but just now as I was searching for a spare horse, Hauptmann Woermann stopped me and asked where you were. He was drumming his fingers on his gun. He's already mad that I lost my horse and my lead as the lookout. If I don't go riding in front of the company with you behind me, he'll kill me."
"So you're dooming me instead?" Levi shouted.
"I can still help you to escape. Jean even said he would help us. Please," Eren said with pleading eyes. "I know it's asking a lot—"
"It's condemning me to death!"
"Two more days. When we reach Metz, I'll help you to escape, I swear. Otherwise, I'm dead for sure."
Levi let out a sneer of frustration. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He glared up at the vaulted ceiling. "Why don't you just strike me down yourself, huh? I'd rather die right here in some Christian church than be killed by a Nazi. You obviously don't want me to live, so just strike me down already. Kill me right here!" He sneered up at the ceiling and screamed, "Vas te faire foutre, Dieu!" Go fuck yourself, God!
His screams echoed through the church and faded into silence. Eren and Mina gazed on at him with sympathy.
Levi sank his head and grumbled a curse, "Putain de merde. Dieu a un sens de l'humour exécrable." Fucking shit. God has a terrible sense of humor.
If he had only stayed in Fischbach, if he had gone to literally any other town, if he had turned right at the fork in the road instead of left, if he had not asked for directions at Mina's farm, and worst of all, if he had not met up again with Eren, he might have escaped. Now, if he refused, he condemned Eren to death.
Levi glanced up at Eren, debating if he could still force his way to freedom. He was fairly confident that he could win in a fight, yet there was no way he would do anything to get Eren killed.
Levi cursed in Yiddish, "Du farkirtst mir di yorn." You'll be the death of me. He lowered his head and muttered, "Fine. I guess I have no choice."
Mina leaped up and grabbed his arm. "No!"
"He's right. If I don't go with him, his captain will have him executed."
"But if you go, you could be shot, or worse!"
Eren stated firmly, "I'll protect him."
She turned at him. "He wasn't protected out there earlier, alone on the road, lost and wandering. Where were you then?"
Eren's mouth dropped at the girl's attack, but he had nothing he could say.
Mina turned back to Levi and squeezed his arm. "Don't go. Come back home with me. We can take you in, shelter you. You can work for my grandfather. Bopa would love to have someone around who speaks English."
"Your parents hate Jews."
"We won't tell them. We'll tell them you're French, and you lived in England, and you've been to Yorkshire—"
Levi put a hand over her terrified fingers. "I have to do this."
"Why?" she cried out, tears coming to her eyes.
Levi looked over at Eren, his gaze sharp and spiteful. "I owe this bastard so many times over, if I go with him, it'd equal out only a portion of my debt."
Eren said solemnly, "It will balance any debt between us."
"Saving you once won't balance shit!" Levi snapped.
"I've also asked a lot of you over the past two days," Eren said, and then his head dropped to the side, "and I've done things today that require so many apologies, I'll be saying sorry until I'm old and gray."
Levi frowned, but he was glad to see that Eren was at least sane enough now to remember how he had acted on the road and to know it was wrong. He turned back to Mina and those fretful, imploring eyes. What a tenacious girl, to have nearly experienced such a horrific thing, yet she had the strength to care for some stranger she had known for less than an hour. He put a hand on her head.
"Ride back to your parents. Try to forget all this." Then Levi looked back at Eren. "Are you going to tell anyone that I killed these men?"
"No," he whispered. "I won't say anything. They'll be listed as missing and maybe presumed to have run away, but if I tell anyone that they were killed, Hauptmann Woermann might burn down the whole town." He looked down at the two men and cursed. "It's this drug. I saw men do horrible things to women in Paris after taking some Pervitin. It makes you ... geil ... geil wie ein Hengst."
Mina raised an eyebrow. "Horny as a stallion?"
"Yes!" Eren said, pointing to her. "Wait, how does this girl speak English so well? And how do you know German?"
Mina shrugged. "I don't. The words are the same in Lëtzebuergesch."
Levi rolled his eyes. "So that drug is an aphrodisiac?"
"Aphro- ... yes!" Eren cried out. "That's the word. It makes you hot inside. What did you say, horny?" he asked Mina.
She blushed. "Well, that's what my brother calls it in English."
Levi muttered to himself, "Ça explique ce qui s'est passé plus tôt." That explains what happened earlier.
"Huh?" asked Eren.
"What was that?" asked Mina.
He did not want either to understand. He had been wondering if the drugs were what made Eren so playful earlier, trying to seduce him on the horse, even masturbating right there on the side of the road. If the pill was also an aphrodisiac, that explained it.
"Anyway, we should get going before that bug-eyed captain sets the church on fire. Mina, tell someone about the Deacon Ulklin. You can let them know it was the Nazis who shot him, but not until the group is far down the road. Perhaps the deaths of these two will keep people from doing anything stupid in revenge."
She looked down at the two soldiers lying in puddles of blood now soaking into the church's carpeting. "Who do I say killed these two?"
"You can say the Archangel Michael struck them down, for all I care."
"I will tell them it was a Jew. Perhaps," she said with a smile, "it will make others think nicer about your people." Mina took Levi's hand and squeezed it.
Eren's fists tightened in jealousy.
"Please be safe out there," she said.
Levi nodded. "You as well. I'm so sorry I dragged you into this."
"No, it was my choice to help you. Besides, I met a nice person, I got to practice English, and I got to see that Jews are not what my parents think they are." She smiled and blushed. "I'll never forget you, Levi, or how you saved me."
Mina leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, further angering Eren.
"Excuse me!" Eren looked back and forth between the two, and his eyes hardened. "Who is this girl?"
Levi glanced back, amused by the jealousy in Eren's eyes, but he was still angry at the young lieutenant. "This is Mina. She brought me to this town after you abandoned me."
Eren flinched hard at the bitterness in Levi's voice, plus he could not dispute, he really had deserted him.
Levi shook his head and looked back over at Mina. "Wait until you don't even see our dust trails before heading back home, just in case there are stragglers. It'll be even more dangerous traveling at night."
"I may wait until Pater Rod returns. If I wait long enough, my brother will come looking for me. He can take me home." She glanced at the darkening world outside. "I'm too scared now to go alone." Her eyes began to water over as the terror of what she just barely escaped finally began to sink in, and she hugged herself in fear.
Levi reached over and stroked her head. What could he possibly say? Then Petra's words returned to him. "Survive this war. Find a goal to get you through the worst times. Live, no matter the price."
She raised her face as a tear slipped down, met his eyes, and nodded in agreement. "I want to see Yorkshire."
"Then live for that goal," he urged.
She managed to smile. "Maybe you'll get to go back there someday too, and we can meet again."
Levi forced himself not to roll his eyes. "Maybe. Just stay out of Sheffield. That place is shit."
His brusqueness made her laugh despite the tears starting to come to her eyes.
"Remember, stay inside until the Germans are long gone. I'd honestly feel better knowing that someone will walk you home."
"Then I'll wait here for my brother and say a prayer for you."
With another pat to her head, Levi and Eren left the church, walked past the body of the deacon, and to a horse Eren had taken, saddled up and ready.
"Where did you find another horse?"
"The captain mentioned they raided a Reiterhof ... um, horse place? I don't know the word. Lots of horses."
Levi scowled and seriously hoped that was not Mina's equestrian farm. Likely, it had been, especially if her family was supportive of Nazis. Did this horse belong to Mina's family?
Eren climbed on and lifted Levi up behind him.
"My arse hurts so bad," Levi groaned.
"Do you want a Pervitin?"
"Fuck no! And don't you dare take another one of those bloody pills."
"I already did. When Woermann saw me, he demanded that I take another pill. It'll start to work in a few minutes."
"Merde. You know what it did to you last time."
"I know, and I'm sorry. That ... That wasn't me. If I act like that again, you can hit me over the head."
"I'm afraid, even if I hit you, it'd make you harden up as well."
Eren laughed awkwardly. "It might, but you don't have to worry. The captain doesn't want us far ahead of the company anymore. We have a good lead on the Americans, so long as we hurry south, and apparently twice there were times when we could have used a translator, including at that Reiterhof."
"They speak Luxembourgish here, not French."
"You were able to speak with that Diakon."
"With the what?"
"Church man."
"Oh, him. That was lucky."
"Well, pray for more luck, and don't leave my side."
Levi sneered. He could only imagine, if he left Eren, there might be more than one Nazi who would not care if it was a woman or a man who satisfied their drugged-up lust.
As their horse clopped down the cobbled street, Levi heard noises up a wooded hill and looked that way.
"What's going on?"
"They're looting the castle for more horses and anything to eat."
"And probably raping any maids left behind."
In a wry, angry tone, Eren asked, "Do you want to check it out, maybe slit a few more throats?"
"Maybe I should!" he snapped back.
Just then, they heard a woman scream and looked to the side. A German soldier had grabbed a young lady, forcing her into a building while she thrashed about, trying to break free and grabbing hold of anything to stop the abduction. Levi jumped off the saddle and stomped toward the building.
"Where are you going?" Eren yelled.
Levi called back to him, "To slit a few throats."
"Get back on the horse." Levi continued undaunted. Eren cursed and galloped over to cut him off, putting the horse between Levi and the building where the woman was still screaming inside. "Don't you dare kill any more men."
"Do you even give a damn if a woman gets raped?" he yelled. "Or is it only men you care about?"
"I won't let you kill him."
"Then you stop him yourself."
Eren pulled out his gun and pointed it at Levi. Coldly, he ordered, "Get back on the horse."
"What the fuck, Eren?" Levi shouted, stunned by the fierceness in his eyes.
"Jetzt!" Now!
Levi could hardly believe that Eren was actually threatening him with a gun, and not because his captain was forcing him to act this way. Then he heard the woman shrieking and he shook his head.
"Shoot me."
Not waiting, Levi walked around the horse and continued onward, already reaching for his knife.
Eren took aim with the gun, but he could not pull the trigger. Even as Levi walked into the building, he could not bring himself to do it. With a growl, he holstered his gun before anyone saw and grew curious. The screams inside stopped quickly enough, and a minute later Levi stepped out with the cold eyes of a man who had no qualms against killing. Those murderous eyes looked up at Eren.
"You better ride out of town before I hear more, because if I know it's happening, I will stop them, and if you don't want me to slit their throats, you'll have to shoot me."
Eren's jaw was tense, his whole face filled with rage, but it was not just at Levi. He understood Levi's determination, and he privately admired it. He was angry at the Germans who would resort to pillaging and raping. Deep down, Eren felt these men deserved whatever Levi did to them.
And he hated himself for once again letting his conscience get in the way of his duty. He was a German! Why was he allowing some Jewish scum to kill German soldiers? Some dark side of his training was surging up, and he trembled as he felt himself succumbing to it.
Softly, barely a wisp of air, he said, "Get on the damn horse. Up front, where I can grab you so you don't do that again."
Levi climbed up onto the saddle. Immediately, Eren grabbed his hair and yanked Levi's head backward, making him cry out in pain. Eren hissed in his ear.
"That was Milieus. He's part of my platoon. The next time you kill one of my men, I will not go easy on you."
"Then you should have stopped him yourself."
"That is not your call to make."
"Exactly! It was your call, and you weren't going to make it. I will not stand by as a person gets raped, and fuck you for being okay with it."
Eren yanked his hair harder, bowing Levi's spine backward. "I am not okay with it. I just won't kill one of my own men, especially one that is on a pill that makes him out of his mind."
"Then act like a damn officer and keep your men in line."
Eren seethed. "That. Is not. Your. Call."
"Right," he scoffed wryly. "Wanting to protect women, wanting to stop rapists: I guess that's all too honorable for a Nazi pig like you."
Eren let go of Levi's hair and hit him hard over the head, almost knocking him out of the saddle. On pure instinct, Levi's hand went to his knife. He shot back an enraged glare, his fingers gripping the hilt. Seeing the cold, hard, militant stare, he had half a mind to slit Eren's throat right there and take off running, as if he was just another Nazi soldier.
Then he had to remind himself, Eren cared for him. Whatever was going on, it was the drugs. This change in attitude, the roughness, the disregard for the safety of innocent civilians: this was antithetical to Eren's normal personality. He loosened his hand, lowered his head, and tried to calm the stinging pain in his heart at seeing Eren actually acting like a Nazi.
Just then, they both heard a rider chuckling. Eren looked over to see Franz cantering up beside them. The Czech soldier laughed at seeing his lieutenant beating up the Jew.
"Haben Sie Probleme mit Ihrem Judenhund, Herr Leutnant?" Are you having problems with your Jewish dog, Lieutenant?
"Er hat einen Befehl nicht befolgt, das ist alles." He didn't obey an order, that's all.
"Wenn er Sie beißt, müssen Sie ihn einschläfern lassen." If he bites you, you must put him down.
"Er ist nur ein kleines Hündchen, und seine Zähne sind zu klein, um hart zu beißen." He's just a little puppy, and his teeth are too small to bite hard.
"Haustiere sind nicht erlaubt in Metz, Herr Leutnant." Pets are not allowed in Metz, Lieutenant.
Eren laughed quietly. "Das weiß ich bereits, Franz." I know that already, Franz.
He realized the huge difference between Jean and Armin—who were willing to break a few rules to keep Levi alive since he was an innocent civilian caught up in this war—and men like Franz, who hated Jews and felt they should all be shot. Not everyone in his platoon would be willing to help him.
Franz rode on, and Eren let out a long sigh. He looked down at Levi, slouched with his head lowered in servitude.
"I'm sorry about that," Eren whispered.
"No, you're not," Levi growled under his breath.
"I did not mean to hit you." Eren sneered and shook his head. "It's this pill. It's kicking in. My head!"
"Save your apologies for when you're sane enough to actually feel remorse. Just ride. Ride out of this town before I change my mind and run off."
They cantered on through town. As they got closer to the castle, Eren passed the truck with Kitz Woermann, giving him a salute. Levi glared at the captain as they passed. It was all his fault, and that bastard probably would laugh if he heard about his men raping a few local girls.
As they reached the end of town, Levi glanced behind his shoulder, seeing the church steeple, the castle, and the idyllic town plunging into darkness as dusk turned into night. This place was supposed to be his sanctuary. For a few hours, he had been a free man. Now, he was right back where he started.
"No offense, Eren," he muttered, "but right now, I seriously hate you."
Eren's eyes stayed straight ahead. "I don't blame you."
That was all they said together for a long time.
# # #
# #
#
(Église Saint-Georges, Catholic church in Fischbach)
Fischbach, Luxembourg, is the first village Levi goes through. As I looked on Google Maps to see what he might experience while walking around on his own, I realized he would pass by the church. Then I realized there was a castle nearby. Cool, I love castles, so I read more about it.
(Castle Fischbach)
Château de Fischbach, Schloss Fischbach or Schlass Fëschbech—depending on which of Luxembourg's three official languages you prefer—was taken over by the Nazis during World War II. Like other royal residences in occupied lands, the majority of furniture and art was stolen and sold to support the Wehrmacht. It became a retreat for German artists who wanted a relaxing vacation in the countryside. The Germans called it Künstlerheim Fischbach (Artist's-Home). Because the artists liked the castle as it was, it was not renovated and "Nazified" like many other castles.
(Prince Guillaume and Stéphanie)
When Grand Duchess Charlotte returned to Luxembourg in 1945, Castle Fischbach was the only inhabitable castle in her possession; thus, she moved there with her family. Even after the other castles were restored, she chose to stay in Fischbach out of personal preference, as did many of her descendants. To this day, Prince Guillaume, heir apparent to the crown, currently lives there with his wife Stéphanie and their son, born just a few months ago.
(Église de l'Immaculée-Conception in Buerglënster/Bourglinster)
Buerglënster/Bourglinster is Levi's next stop. Apparently both are official spellings of the city's name, depending on if you speak Luxembourgish or French, so in the story, if the characters are speaking in French (like Levi and Uri) then it is the French spelling, but when a character is fluent in Luxembourgish, they call it Buerglënster. I read that the locals call the town "An der Buerg" (literally, "in the castle) so that is what Mina and her mother call it.
https://lb.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buergl%C3%ABnster
Personal side note: I do not know why people change spellings of locations. It's stupid, and I hate it. I believe we should call a place what the locals do. English-speakers should call "Germany" Deutschland, Japan should be Nippon, etc. It should be pronounced as close to the native way as possible (i.e., Mexico is Meh-hee-koh, not Meks-uh-koh). This may be because I live in Oregon, and some East Coast Americans who can't pronounce my state properly ... and we live in THE SAME COUNTRY! (Oregon rhymes with wagon, not polygon!)
He stops in Église de l'Immaculée-Conception, the Catholic Church in town. He also passes by Castle Bourglinster, AKA Schlass Buerglënster or Château de Bourglinster. Funny thing: In Luxembourgish, Buerg means castle, but glënster means glitter, so while writing I kept giggling about "Glitter Castle." For the record, it's not Glitter Castle; it's Castle Linster/Lënster, named after a noble family. Not as fun as Glitter Castle.
(National Commemoration Day, inside Église de l'Immaculée-Conception)
One interesting historical note as I was looking up on all this, was a picture from fanfare-bourglinster.org.
Since the 19th century, a chamber orchestra had existed in Buerglënster/Bourglinster. They were the musical and cultural highlight of the town. During the Nazi occupation of Luxembourg, the Deutsche Zivilverwaltung (German Civil Administration that led the country) confiscated the orchestra's funds and their musical instruments.
As a musician, this pisses me off so much! I know a guy who actually murdered a man who tried to rob him at gunpoint, wanting his trumpet. Police deemed it to be self-defense; the crazy thing is, he defended himself with nothing but a music stand. That was enough to crush in the skull of the armed robber. (I never knew those could be a deadly weapon.) Do NOT mess with a musician's instrument!
Sadly, eight of the orchestra members were forcibly recruited into the Wehrmacht (this happened in every country Germany invaded) and only four came back alive. To this day, the orchestra plays a memorial concert to their fallen brothers on National Commemoration Day.
The website included this picture of the inside of the church during one of the first memorials for the fallen of the Second World War.
(Industrial Pollution in Sheffield, Yorkshire, 1925, artist unknown)
Levi says to stay away from Sheffield. At the time he would have been there, it was an industrial town with heavy amounts of pollution, as seen in the painting above.
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My Writing Journey
It's actually kind of cool about Fischbach. I picked that name at random (it reminded me of Markiplier, AKA Mark Fischbach ... Unus Annus!) So I pulled up Google Maps Streetview for a little virtual tour. I realized Levi would pass by a church, and that's a perfect spot to stop and seek shelter.
(At this point, I was wondering how Levi and Eren could reunite. Eren bolting off in the last chapter was not in my outline, but it felt way too perfect.)
After reading about the castle being used by Nazis, I decided to add some in. Levi sees the Nazis, panics, and leaves. In reality, if he had stayed there, he would have been perfectly safe ... but where's the fun in that? I wanted Levi to find Eren tweaked out on meth in a "random village." Considering my last random village had a cool castle used by Nazis, I was on a roll. I glanced at Google Maps again and saw in bold "Kirsch" (Church) a little south of Fischbach. I totally randomly decided that was close enough for him to walk. Turned out, this was Buerglënster.
I again brought up Google Streetview to see what the walk there would look like, maybe I could describe some cool scenery. That's when I noticed a fork in the road.
Considering I paused and went "Wait, which way would he go," Levi would definitely have a crisis. I went back and wrote in that the priest writes directions, but not in French. I wanted this simple walk to be a challenge.
Then continuing to the left, there was another fork. This really would be hard without a good map. Then I continued in Streetview, through a lovely forest that opens up to rolling farmlands and an equestrian ranch. Horses! I immediately thought, the Nazis would trade their horses here for fresh ones, and wouldn't it be something if this family was supportive of Nazis? (Some Luxembourgers were, and they were later arrested for helping the enemy.) This also gave me a chance to use some Luxembourgish.
For the record, I do NOT speak Luxembourgish, nor do I know anyone who does. For every other language, I have friends I can ask to help with the translation. (When I remember to ask; I didn't for this chapter so please leave in the comments any incorrect non-English parts.) For Luxembourgish, I could not even rely on Reverso Context. I had to trust Google Translate. Ugh!
Since Buerglënster is a series of forks in the road, and I got lost twice using Streetview and trying to get there, I realized Levi would have a really hard time without a map. However, there are horses. This gives me a chance to bring in more female characters from SNK, like Mina Carolina. She could give Levi a ride.
I wanted Levi to mutter "You're foolishly trusting" in French, but I could not find a good translation and did not feel like bothering my French translator again. (I really do worry about being a bother!) So I went with English, and as I realized this was going to be a boring trip if Mina can't communicate with him, I decided, "Why not! She speaks English." At this point, I was making stuff up as I went.
I still had no clue how Levi would meet up with Eren again, nor how he would end up back with the Germans. That's when I decided, a tweaked out Eren could have been taken in by the church. They might have thought he was a drunkard and hoped to keep him safe until he sobered up, since it was getting dark. Plus he rode his horse until it died. (That's two horses he's gotten killed.)
There was still one problem. Levi would never willingly return to servitude under the Nazis, and even on drugs Eren would never betray his country. I considered Eren forcing him at gunpoint, but let's be real: Levi would easily beat him in a fight. I saved the gunpoint scene for later.
Then I wondered, do the Nazis come through this town? I pulled up Armin's Map (really a Google Maps walking route I tweaked to go around Allied troops) and YES, they do! I picked this town at random off Google Maps, but in Armin's original escape route, they actually do go through Buerglënster. Perfect!
But still, how does someone who has taken shelter in a church get forced to work for the Nazis again?
What if Levi lost the protection of the priest? What if the Nazis shoot the priest? This didn't actually happen historically, although many Nazis were condescending of religion so they would not care about shooting a priest while on church grounds. So rather than a priest, I made it a deacon. Father Uri said his brother was in another church, and going off the manga I made that his literal brother, Rod, so I picked Rod's son Ulklin as the deacon. (Reach into a hat and grab a name!) At first I thought the Nazis could loot the church (happened all the time) but then Mina rides back to warn them.
Oh Mina, you doomed black-haired beauty, you fit into this plan perfectly.
Crystal meth can make you ragingly horny as well as fearless, aggressive, and it completely changes your personality. (This is why Eren acts the way he does at the end. It's 100% the drugs.) In the hands of Nazis, that means someone is going to get raped. If Levi sees that, especially after what he recently went through (it's only been eleven days), he would react, no matter the cost. He would NEVER allow that to happen to another person again. So we finally get to see Levi fight and kill someone. About damn time! A stab to the back of the neck was just too perfect for Attack on Titan.
Of course, Eren would get mad at seeing two Germans killed, but he can't really blame Levi for doing it, not after what he's been through, and what Eren himself did when he saw a soldier raping Levi.
This is the perfect spot for Eren to tell Levi, he has to come back or Kitz will shoot him. Eren is mad that Levi killed Germans, Levi is now unprotected (he does not even have a member of the church to shelter him anymore) and Levi does not want to be the reason more people die, especially not Eren. Besides, even if he tried to escape, Eren only needed to shout, and a hundred Nazis would surround that church ... and maybe burn it down. So he reluctantly follows.
Eren's personality is already turning dark when he sees that Levi killed two rapists. When he goes after one of his own platoon members, that dark Nazi training really comes forward. Crystal meth can flip your personality and turn the most gentle person into a violent ball of rage. Worse, Eren privately feels that these men deserved it, which tears at his loyalty to Germany above everything else. All that training is really coming to the surface. The soldier Eren spent his life training to become has surfaced, and the gentler side is being suppressed by pure instinct and indoctrination.
So they are reunited, but Levi is angry that Eren is basically enslaving him to save his own life, and Eren has just had his dark side flipped on. At this point, Levi might WANT the horny Eren instead of the cold Nazi officer.
Well, every couple has a first fight; it just usually doesn't involve murder, rape, drugs, and Nazis.
And THAT is how I bullshitted my way through this chapter, haha! I originally was going to blur past the long trip through Luxembourg so we can get to Metz, but it turned into a little adventure. Eren taking off on the horse came as a surprise to me (amazing how writing can surprise the writer more than the reader sometimes) so this whole thing was unplanned.
But hey, I had a nice virtual vacation through Luxembourg and learned a little about the country. That's a perfect day of writing for me!