Chapter Eleven
I could barely wait to sleep. I was exhausted from the day of riding, and I was more than ready to retire to my warm bed. I felt like something was waiting for me. I knew nothing more than darkness awaited, but my nerves still buzzed as I laid down in my nightgown and pulled the heavy duvet up to my chin. My toes ached with cold so I curled them under my legs, trying to warm myself up. I closed my eyes tight, trying to block out all else. It was dark and my brain should have been ready to fall asleep.
Should have been.
Time passed by in a blur, and each second ticked with the nervous beat of my heart. I was too anxious. I would never fall asleep at this rate.
Sighing, I tossed my covers off and slid my legs to the side of my bed, letting my feet fall to the floor. Thick wool greeted my cold toes. I wrapped my arms around my chest as I stood and wandered towards my door, trying to keep the cold at bay.
I considered grabbing my night coat for extra warmth, but I wouldn't be gone for long. I would just head to the kitchens for a cup of warm milk and hope that settled my restless self. I found a mug of milk and microwaved it for a few seconds. When I took it out it was hot and steamy. My shaky fingers wrapped around it, holding it close to me. I rushed back to my room as quickly as I could, subconsciously scared of the dangers that could lurk in the hidden shadows of the house; mind worried about what Father would say if he found me walking around nearly unclothed, shoulders and upper chest exposed, in the middle of night, unguarded.
When I reached my room, I closed my door behind me louder than I had to. It slammed, and I winced. My breath caught as I waited for someone to come check on me, for someone to suspect an intruder or disturbance.
And then I heard it. The faint shuffling of feet from behind my room's wall. Aziel's room.
My cheeks reddened as I realized I must have woken him. I prayed he wouldn't come visit me. But another part of me hoped he would.
The irregular patterns of his feet went around his room in circles, pacing back and forth. I walked over to the wall connecting our rooms and placed my hand on the wall. I felt close to him; separated, but together. Safe. He was there. He was one room over.
All men are dangerous.
Everything is dangerous, I thought. But that doesn't mean they're dangerous to you.
I curled my knuckles into a fist and wrapped against the wall once, twice. It was loud, and my heart thumped wildly in my chest as I just realized what I'd done. What would this even accomplish? Make him think there were rats in the walls?
His footsteps suddenly stopped. There was that moment of silence—a string that hung in between the darkness of my room and the unknown of Aziel's. My eyes were wide as I stared at the wall, so tentatively you would have thought I could see through it.
His footsteps started again. Towards me.
My chest was rising and falling quickly as he stopped right before the wall, right before me. Centimeters apart and yet so, so far away.
He knocked back.
I found a smile teasing my lips before I could stop it. I knew he couldn't hear me, but I let out a small laugh. This was a game we were playing.
I knocked three times on the wall, pausing and waiting for his reply.
"Romina, shouldn't you be sleeping?"
I jumped back and fell onto my ass when I heard his voice. He could hear me. He had heard my laugh. Stumbling to my feet, only then did I notice the shattered mug at my feet. Hot milk spread over the wooden floor, teasing the edges of my feet. I began walking backwards, staring at the ground I could not see. It was so dark. But there were shards of ceramic everywhere. Shards that could cut my skin, pierce my feet.
His deep voice spoke again, tinged with concern. "Romina? What was that?"
When I didn't reply, I heard him running out of his room and into the hall. My door burst open a moment later. He turned on the lights of my room, making me cover my eyes.
He sensed my movements before they happened. "Don't move." He ordered. I froze, placing my foot back down on the ground where I'd been before. Slowly, I opened my eyes and adjusted to the lighting. The sight of Aziel: he, shirtless, dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants, at my door, filled my sights. I almost stumbled but stopped when I remembered what was around me.
And then I remembered what I was wearing.
"Don't look!" I cried, arms wrapping around my chest to hide my cleavage. He stared at me, confused. His head cocked to the side.
As he moved towards me with careful steps, his smooth skin pulled so nicely over his defined chest. My treacherous eyes wandered to his abdomen as he walked towards me. He was built but lean. Not too bulky...my breath caught.
Just perfect.
"I'm coming to get you—" He cursed when I stepped back hesitantly, scared to be close to him. Dressed as we were...Father would kill me. "Fuck, don't move."
My cheeks reddened as his coarse language, but conceded. He bent and picked up a slipper nearby. With careful strokes, he swiped it across the ground, moving all the small shards to the side. His eyes narrowed at the wide liquid seeping into the hardwood.
"It's milk." I found myself needing to explain.
His eyes lifted to mine, dark as ever. I closed my lips and swore I'd never speak again. Why did I say that? Why did I need to say that?
"Reach your arms out."
When my arms reached out to hold his, his eyes didn't leave my face. Some sort of warmth filled me. He didn't look down.
Then came doubt.
Why didn't he look?
He grabbed my arms and lifted me up, around him, and behind him. I landed softly on the wet floor, quickly retracting my hands to cover my chest once more. He cast one last glance at the mess behind me before looking back again.
"You should've just slept, Romina." His tone was scolding. Something a Father would say. I felt myself pulling away. He ran hand through his hair. "Fuck, you could've gotten hurt." This time his eyes did scan down my body. My entire being heated. After his examination, he stared at me decidedly, mind set. "You can't sleep in here. It isn't safe."
"Wha-?"
"Sleep in my room, just for tonight." He said seriously. Something in his tone was dark. Something in his tone was festered with a sweet ring. Promising, alluring.
But forbidden.
"I-I can't," I stuttered out, cheeks flushing even further at the idea of sharing a bed with this man.
He sighed, rolling he shoulders as if he had to think up a reply. As if my reply genuinely did not make sense to him.
"It's not safe, Romina."
"I won't leave my bed," I frowned. "Aziel, it's fine."
"I'll sleep on the couch." He said. His composure was stubborn, gait set. I knew by agreeing, I'd go against every rule Father had set in place. But I knew by disagreeing, Aziel would never leave my room.
"I'll sleep on the couch."
He stared at me, questioning. It was a moment before his resolve melted and he touched my arm, gently guiding me towards his room. As I turned to go, not sure if this victory was mine or his, his finger left my arm and fell to my back. His lithe fingers trailed along my spine, up and down. I shivered.
His room was colder than mine. It might have been because his window was open, curtains billowing in the nightly wind. But it also could have been the lack of carpets...blankets...comforters...my eyes darted around the room, surprised by its cold...bareness. How did he sleep in here? It was chilling.
I stopped walking once we'd entered his room. I heard him close the door behind him, sliding the bolt closed with a resounding click. I didn't turn as he neared me.
"Romina, sleep." He said, hands landing on my shoulders, soft and caring to the touch. He dipped his head so his lips were against my hair, breath ghosting my scalp. I faintly remembered him lifting me and carrying me to the bed. I faintly remembered his soft words—"oh, girl. Sweet, sweet girl..." and then his voice ringing as an echo in my mind as I felt covers sliding up my body, stopping right above my breasts. My breasts. He could see my breasts, spilling out of the top of my shirt like a meal for him to devour.
He spoke again. The edges of reality around me seemed to fade away as a dream took place. I could not be sure if he truly had said these words, but I heard them.
"I can't wait to taste you."
Before I could think of it, I was asleep.