𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐞 || 𝐂𝐨𝐜𝐨
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲𝐧𝐬 𝐅𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥
𝟏𝟎:𝟐𝟏 𝐚𝐦
I sat in my car looking at the church feeling the strongest urge.. to just get up and go find Cartier and take every last breath out his body. The officers told us she wrote Blue Ey- in her blood. I think she did that because she knew Remy nem was gon find her first soo she gave them that hint but also if the police came her mother could have a sense of closure.
Taking a deep breath I unlocked my phone.
𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐘𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐈
❤️💬📥
𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝟗𝟕,𝟒𝟒𝟕 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬
𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐲𝐫𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐢 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧.. 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐩 𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐩.. 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭. 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐌𝐬. 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐭 𝐍𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐬𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.. 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐆 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝟐𝟎 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞. 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐞 𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞🥺 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲𝐧🤍 𝐅𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲🥰
𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝
I looked up feeling the tears run down my face.
𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘𝐊𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐙
𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐩𝐞
𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐩𝐞
❤️💬📥
𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐲𝐫𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝟗𝟔,𝟓𝟕𝟖 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬
𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲𝐊𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐳 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞. 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞. 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐆 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡, 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐚🥺. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐮𝐡𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐚 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟑𝟎𝟓. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐚𝐢, 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐚𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮🥺 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐝. 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞. 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡. 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞❤️
I walked in and seen Marcellus crying, Tysheem was still void of any emotion he didn't smile or cry or even get mad and throw shit he was just there looking at shit. Trejon and Remell were like a mixture of Ty and Mar. I was more on the Angry side of the spectrum. Saiyr looked like an abused puppy. And Dre was up there with Ty, they looked like they had no emotion at all. All the life in Ty's eyes left the day she died. We've all moved into new places even Sai's momma moved. I wanna leave NC... it's too hard to be here it's like a constant reminder my 1/3 of the 3/3 is gone and I'll never see her ass again. Is that technically running away from my problems? Most definitely. But I don't care, to know she died alone pretty much didn't sit right with me. I was told Sway put pressure on her wounds and gave her CPR and didn't stop til the emts got there the only reason they were called was cause they had the equipment to save her in that truck. As for her mom she's in a Psych ward because she's attempted suicide multiple times. Heavyn was her everything Heavyn had a sister but she died of Pneumonia a week after being born. Come to find out Sachie was Right Cartier was onnat stalking shit. He'd had his eyes on Saiyr for a minute was watching and stalking for 3 years. He killed Adonis, honestly who cared.. but he befriended Kamarion cause he felt like he was the weakest link. He paid Noah to go on live and expose Syn cause she chose his brother (Adonis) over him. You know how fucked up inna head you gotta be to do this fuck ass shit I understood why he took Adonis but Mena? Yeah she ain't like you but you ain't have to take her life you dirty ass bitch.
➴
"They wanna see me do my dance" Poudii mumbled.
"In these thousand dollar pants" Sway added in
"Don't disrespect me and my mans" Dre laughed a little
"Bang, whole lotta choppas on your ass
Scram, we just put them dollars on your head
Snitchin' ass nigga gave his momma to the feds
Little brother, big brother, Sada got the dreads" we all sang.
Heavyn loved that stupid ass song.
➴
The repast had her favorite foods and drinks. And all the stuff from her home was in a storage unit her uncle picked out in Miami.
I went and sat near Sway.
"Hey.."
He just looked at me then back at whatever.
"You wanna talk about it?"
He sighed shaking his head.
"You sure."
"Malaysia please get tf from round me. Ion wanna speak on it right now, damn!" He snapped getting up leaving out the building.
➴
𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐲𝐫 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐢 || 𝐒𝐲𝐧
𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐍𝐂
𝟏𝟏:𝟒𝟐 𝐩𝐦
Why'd I fuck that man? Why'd I even allow him access to us. He took the one person who.. I want him gone and I wanna do myself watch the blood drain from em. The life, Heavyn was our youngest... she was the most stubborn and the most problematic at times but she was also ten toes behind you if she loved you. I remember the days where I'd just sit up in a room contemplating life and shit on sum ion really wanna be here no more. And shed come smoke with me and take about everything she was the reason I got back into art. Jandro didn't even come to the Funeral he hasn't posted, nothing he went ghost. He left the hospital in tears he had to be wheeled out because he could barely walk. Heavyn and him were pretty much siblings her mother raised em. So this had to be so hard for him. I'm going to see him today just to see how he's doing and if he wanna come stay with me or Laysia while he's adjusting. Cause ion think you fully get over this you just learn to be without em. I go to his house and let myself in.
"Jandro? You here?"
I walked around and saw him on the floor near his bar with a Don Julio bottle just staring off.
"Come on baby get up." I say bending to help him up.
"Sai, just go okay.. I wanna be alone."
"You need a shower and sum food and I'll help you clean up."
"Leave it.. I don't feel like eating or showering. I'm drinking until this pain isn't so prominent.. Or until a glitch in the matrix happens and my baby sis walks in here singing or rapping or with sum Birria Taco and we talk about life. You know sum she was finally coming to terms with being Pan. Finally genuinely happy, moving on with her life. She was thinking about starting a family. He took that away from her and now when I see him I'm taking him out the slowest and most painful way I know then imma bury him and cover him a little then throw a dead dog over him but imma get rid of his head and hands. Yeah nobody gon identify him. Nobody gon miss him either." He chuckled. "I wish she would've came here I texted and told her to come here cause I had a bad feeling. She said I was dragging it and she'd be fine.. and I stopped pressing the issue cause she obviously didn't want my help. Stubborn ass.. I want this pain gone Sai.. I wanna be numb, I know I promised her I would never go back to.."
"No! You don't get to give up! You gotta talk to somebody get these emotions out we can't heal if all we do is drink and smoke.. We all need each other and if you leave ion think nobody we be able to be okay."
"The boys don't even like me and you barely tolerate me and Laysia hasn't spoken to me.."
"Laysia is going thru it just like everybody else and the boys love you. And if I didn't tolerate you I wouldn't be here checking on you, I need you.. and I want you to be okay Jandro I don't wanna see you throw your life away she wouldn't want that."
"How would you..." he downed the rest of the bottle and stumbled around the bar. "You went to Charlotte we all went to North Raleigh. You-"
"I kept in touch. Y'all were still my closest friends. And I wouldn't have traded you for anything. And I know she wouldn't want this cause she always wanted the best for you Jandro.. When you OD'd she stayed by your side when you were recovering she stayed by your side and never once left. So I know without a shadow of a doubt this would be eating away at her."
"I just want her back.." he sighed as tears began to fall. I went over and hugged him as I began crying.
➴
𝐀𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 😌 𝐒𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐬🥰
𝐒𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞😭
𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨.
𝐎𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞😭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥-