❦︎...........continuation.❦︎
❝I watered it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.❞
• William Blake.
Once what we lived for forsakes us, grace is stolen....
The Manor ꨄ︎
Dr Moreau arrived two days after the incident, he was there not a minute after dawn, taking a rail transportation per Lord Alfred's request. He needed the French doctor to treat his son promptly.
Dr Moreau ran some tests on Reuben. He gently rubbed and pressed Reuben's eye with his thumb across the closed eyelid. It felt abnormally hard against his finger.
“What do you see?” he asked the boy whose lips couldn't stop quivering. “Through your right eye, what do you see?” he repeated.
“E-Everything is out of focus, it is all blurred, Sir.”
After a few more tests, Reuben was sent back to his bedchamber after being prescribed morphine.
Dr Moreau informed the Duke of his return by evening with the diagnosis. The Duke was impatient and incensed, but he let it be.
➻
Oliver watched Reuben's chest slowly rise and fall in repose. He scooted the tapestry chair he was seated on forward, so as to adjust the warm cloth folded on Reuben's forehead.
“How is he?”
“He has been asleep for a while, but he is doing much better, Your Grace,” he informed.
Duchess Augusta offered him a weak smile, mumbling a thank you when he got up and off the chair for her to sit.
Oliver was bemused by her gratitude but was sure she hadn't even noticed that she had just thanked him.
Reuben's eyes slowly fluttered open. Only for his expression to quickly morph into one in great dismal.
“What did the doctor say?” he asked, voice gruff and croaky.
“Your father just went to the office with him,” she said, gently touching his arm. “We will only find out once their conversation is over.”
“Oh..” he let out a harsh breath, nestling further into his pillows.
“You look especially different without your glasses,” she smiled, brushing aside a damp lock plastered onto his forehead.
“I never want to put on that useless thing ever again,” he rasped. In fact, he had thrown it into the fire.
“My dear...”
“What will happen to me, my life,” he questioned, blinking back tears.
“Nothing will change,” she assured with a sad smile. “Well, except for you being homeschooled for the time being, Elizabeth already wrote to Obadiah.”
Before he could speak, they heard a faint argument coming from the office, which grew louder with each passing second.
➻
“What do you mean by my son has gone blind in his right eye,” Lord Alfred's tone was low and frightening.
“He has Amaurosis, a condition which causes partial or total blindness without visible change in the eye, typically due to disease of the optic nerve, spinal cord, or brain. Though there is a white pigment in your son's eye, it is as a result of a formation of scar tissue, fortunately, that can be solved with time.”
“My son cannot be blind, that is preposterous, you must do something!” he exclaimed as if the words of the Doctor were abstruse.
“His sight loss is irreversible, all we can do is take strict precautions so that it doesn't happen to the other eye—
“Nonsense!” he interrupted, obstinate.
“My son can not be blind, I will never accept that, how did this even happen,” he muttered to himself.
“It could've been a head injury or an inflammation of the optic nerve, the possibilities are endless.”
Dr Moreau was taken aback by the Duke's impudence, he of course wasn't expecting the Duke to be delighted by the news, however, he also did not think he would be so morose.
In Reuben's bedchamber, he was being held in his mother's arms, wetting her frock with his tears as she rocked him back and forth, murmuring soothing words into his ears, words she herself did not believe, but hoped could drown the Duke's.
Oliver watched the scene in forlorn hope.
❦︎
Even after a few weeks of his diagnosis, the manor was still dark with unutterable sorrow.
Waking up was now a sort of nightmare, and today wasn't any different, but Reuben tried to get used to this malady. No use mithering on about something he couldn't change.
He slowly got off his bed and shuffled his feet towards the gilded mirror above the fireplace. It was still strange to move around whilst blind in one eye.
The reflection he saw in the mirror was of a boy with pallid skin, flaky lips and hair disarranged. At the moment, he was the epitome of feebleness.
His lips quirked in a pitying smile when he noted that the pigment in his eye was slowly disappearing like the doctor said, at least he would no longer have pale eyes and the appearance of his eye would be back to normal.
He wanted to be with his father, he scarcely saw him after the incident. He was either always in his office or out of the manor.
Reuben's brows furrowed when he thought he heard something. It seemed someone was conversing right outside his bedchamber. A premonition washed over him as he turned the knob. Opening the door, he froze.
Everyone went silent, they all looked distraught. It was Duchess Augusta, Lady Elizabeth and Obadiah. They looked as if what they had been discussing was extremely illicit.
“Obadiah...” Reuben breathed out, lips quivering. He was overwhelmed with emotions at the sight of his friend.
He had missed him, and had also missed Thomas.
“Reuben, I heard what happened, I apologise for not coming to see you earlier,” Obadiah tried to smile, but it almost seemed impossible.
Reuben slowly nodded. “I am delighted you finally came to visit, I have missed you and Thomas tremendously.”
At the mention of Thomas, Obadiah's face twisted in an expression of one in utter despair, he looked as if he was about to cry.
“Is something wrong?” Reuben worriedly asked, only then had he noticed Obadiah's appearance.
Obadaiah looked thinner than Reuben had ever seen him, eyes sunken from emotional exhaustion.
“Reuben.., Thomas has-
“Please, Duchess Augusta, let me talk to him alone,” Obadiah dolefully interrupted.
“Yes, of course,” she agreed.
“Talk to me about what?” Reuben's eyes darted about, voice shaky, hoping for an answer from anyone. “Did something happen to Thomas?”
“It would be best if Obadiah told you,” lady Elizabeth chirped in, this was all so upsetting, Reuben had gone through enough.
“I want to see you in your bedchamber, may I?” Obadiah rested a hand on his shoulder.
Reuben gave a hesitant nod, stomach churning. “C-Certainly, of course.”
Once the door was shut. Duchess Augusta and Elizabeth looked at each other, with the Duchess fighting back tears.
“He will be fine,” Elizabeth held onto her mother's hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.
They heard murmuring. Wondering how Reuben would take the news of his closest friend passing away from enteritis.
Both Obadiah and Thomas wished to see Reuben right after they heard of his diagnosis; they were heartbroken when Elizabeth wrote to them. However, Thomas had fallen ill of enteritis a few days later, and had passed a couple days ago.
Augusta and Elizabeth flinched when they heard Reuben scream.
They opened the door to the sight of
Reuben violently crying in Obadiah's arms, both of them knelt on the ground as a result of Reuben's knee buckling beneath him upon the news.
“No, please not Thomas, p-please tell me he is alright!”
Reuben's sobs grew in pitch, and were uncontrollable, as his chest vigorously heaved. No matter how tightly Obadiah hugged him and tried to calm and console him; telling him how Thomas wouldn't have liked to see him being this sorrowful, Reuben was inconsolable, how he felt at the moment could never be dispelled.
Duchess Augusta buried her face in Elizabeth's shoulder at the sight, coating her frock with warm tears, as Elizabeth soothed her fingers through her hair. Elizabeth concealed her own dismay, she needed to be strong.
Now collapsed into a dreary and hysterical depression. Reuben had lost a part of himself, had lost his best friend, and had his father growing distant with each passing day.
And with time, the shy and loving boy morphed into a bitter fiend, his grace had been stolen. He slowly became as ruthless as the man he still tried to impress.
There was no use in being kind in an unforgiving world.
❥︎
❦︎Present Day❦︎
Julius walked in first, with Reuben shutting the door behind them.
Reuben bit his lip, the side of it quirking up in a half smile. “I knew my sister was peeving, but who knew she was also an interrogator.”
Adelaide had seen Reuben and Julius while they were headed back into the manor, she was having tea in the garden when she saw them pass by. She had barraged Reuben with endless questions on where he had been, what was it that he had spattered on his white poet sleeve shirt, and why on earth was he keeping company with his temporary valet.
It was apparently the most shocking thing in her life to see Reuben anywhere but in his room and also conversing with a commoner. But of course Reuben had literally told her to shut up and to concentrate on her pigeon pie and China imported oolong tea.
“Well, at least you aren't at the risk of being beheaded by your friend the next time she sees you,” Julius chuckled, and Reuben's smile grew.
Rebekah had looked anything but pleased
when he informed her he would be leaving early after she had planned their pottery session for days now. Her beheading him did not seem too far off. He felt bad, but yet he did not feel sorry.
“So...?” Julius started, fingers absentmindedly sweeping across the davenport desk.
“So...?” Reuben puckishly mimicked.
Julius's heart was racing, and he knew it wasn't because of the rather short distance they had walked. Honestly, it had been racing ever since Reuben requested to be returned. Why his heart was beating soo rapidly was a cause he denied.
Reuben's heart ached too and for once it wasn't from fear or anger. He liked how this felt, he didn't know quite what it was or maybe he did. But all in all, he liked it.
“You said you wanted for me to read to you,” Julius' words danced on a sigh. “Which novel?”
Reuben leaned against the door, tapping his finger on his bottom lip as if in thought, but it was obvious he already knew.
“I want you to read me the book you wanted to read to me the first day you became valet.”
Julius brows furrowed in thought, before shooting up in shock. “Do you mean ‘Gulliver's Travels’! ”
“Yes, you seemed to love it exceedingly, so I believe it shouldn't be all that dreadful.”
“I got into trouble because of that book,” Julius recalled with a quirk of his brow.
He was confused but surprisingly amused, instead of being angered by the memory.
“That is quite accurate,” Reuben shrugged.
“Why the change of heart?” Julius asked, fighting back a smile, only to fail miserably.
Reuben had an impish look to him after the question. He sauntered towards Julius, whose breath hitched.
“Do not make me change my mind,” Reuben teasingly rasped, slightly tilting up his head to be eye level with Julius.
“Is that a threat? Young Lord,” Julius questioned coquettishly, playing along. As he got hypnotized by Reuben's hazy green eyes.
“You know me so well,” Reuben smiled, patting Julius across his tunic covered chest.
When he stepped away, Julius let out a shaky breath he did not know he had been holding.
“Where are you leaving to?” Reuben asked before Julius could turn the knob, leaning his cane against his bed.
“To get you the novel of course.”
“I did not have it sent away, it is in the lower drawer of the devenport.”
Julius paused, looking at Reuben, something about him not sending the book away made his heart flutter.
As he took the book, he recalled the picture of the little boy he had seen earlier. He wanted to ask Reuben if he was the boy but decided against it.
Julius spun around, only to see that Reuben had taken off his shirt, the muscles of his lithe back contracting with his movements towards the bed.
Julius blushed, looking at his feet. “Do you need me to leave?”
“You are my valet, you have clothed me multiple times.” Reuben rolled his eyes as he sat on the edge of his bed.
“Yes, but you always tell me to leave—
“Well I am not going to reveal my most intimate part to you, am I?” he interrupted.
Julius flushed. “O-Of course not.”
“Now be a gentleman and help me into another shirt, will you?”
Julius did as he was told, walking to Reuben and helping him into an orchid coloured lace shirt. Julius thinks Reuben looks divine in it.
Reuben was now comfortably seated on his bed, relaxing into the pillows perched against the headboard. This time around, Reuben hadn't insisted for Julius to join him on the bed, Julius was seated on the tapestry armchair instead.
Reading went delightfully well, Reuben looked like he was enjoying himself, well at least to Julius he seemed to.
His chest was heaving wildly with laughter at each sentence Julius read, hand clutched to his chest as he fought the losing battle of not chortling.
“I know this book is quite humorous, but my, you seem to find it astonishingly hilarious,” Julius chuckled softly in amusement.
“I-I am not laughing because it is humorous,” he said in-between laughter. “I a-am laughing because it i-is pure and utter rubbish, who on earth wrote such a book.”
“Jonathan Swift,” Julius muttered, taken aback.
Oddly, Julius felt a strong urge to tackle him on the bed and tickle him until he couldn't take it anymore, maybe then he would respect other people's work. However, he would likely be electrocuted by the Duke if he dared.
“I have read it before and I did not think it was that terrible, in fact, it is marvellous,” Julius scoffed.
“Of course you didn't, you haven't been introduced to the finer things yet, I will show you with time,” he teased.
Besides Reuben's irritating words, another thing getting on Julius's nerves was the strands of hair curled on Reuben's brow. It had distracted Julius the whole time he had been reading, he wanted to tuck those annoying glossy curls off and behind his ear. Julius knew he could simply tell Reuben to tuck it away, but he desperately wanted to do it himself, convincing himself it was only because he clothed Reuben, and it was his responsibility to keep him neat.
“What?” Reuben said with a confused smile when Julius got off the chair and wordlessly moved towards him.
Julius ignored him, now sitting on his bed, his gaze was fixed on the curl, inching closer.
His finger lightly and slowly swept across Reuben's brow, tucking the strands away.
“There,” Julius breathed out.
Being this close to Julius, Reuben could appreciate the man's beauty.
Julius dragged his gaze slowly and subconsciously down to Reuben's lips, pink and ever slightly parted. His gaze lingered, heart racing.
Reuben's heart was beating faster too, almost waiting for Julius to say something or to do something. He did not know exactly what, all he knew was that he was desperately anticipating it.
Julius' eyes caressed Reuben's face. He wondered what his lips would feel like, the texture of it, maybe even how he tasted. Had he even kissed a person before?
At the thought and at the feeling of himself being aroused, hardening, Julius frightened himself. He quickly pulled away, getting off the bed.
“I-I have to leave,” he stuttered, leg bumping into the chair. Hoping Reuben couldn't see the growing bulge in his trousers.
“Wh–Why? where to?” Reuben hoarsely asked, his voice coming out not as he expected. Julius had literally stolen his breath away.
“I have other duties to attend to, I think six chapters is enough for today,” he lied, running his fingers through his hair, and avoiding eye contact.
He couldn't be aroused by Reuben, he must be confused, or in need of spiritual intervention.
“Is everything alright?” Reuben suddenly felt insecure, like he was naked. Everything was moving too fast for him to remember to keep his composure and pride.
“Yes!” Julius blurted “I mean yes, yes Reuben, please I have to leave.”
And with that, he hurriedly left the bedchamber, not even realizing that for the first time, he had called Reuben by his name.
☘︎☘︎☘︎☘︎☘︎
A/N; Julius seems to be going through it, he is now falling😌.
Also, that was the end of Reuben's back story!! I just wanted you to all get a better understanding of Reuben. However, we are now staying in the present lol
A double update, What!!. I know I'm as surprised as you all are. I just decided upon that because I might not update for the whole of next week, because I'm going to be busy as hell.
Sorry for the long chapter😣
Here's a picture of Thomas, You're Welcome!