One of the sofa's pillows suffered several punches. Having released his suppressed excitement, Riley sat down and placed the pillow back against the sofa. Holding his face in his hands, he groaned. "He's so..." Beautiful? Cute? Sexy?
Riley touched his arm where Eran had hit. "He touched me..." A smile surfaced. "It hurts..." I must be a masochist. He fell back onto the sofa with the abused pillow beneath his head and stretched. I love that his touch hurts so I can feel it longer. And I'm feeling all these weird things when I don't even like guys... Or, I didn't think I did? Riley turned onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow.
He had long ago dismissed the possibility that his feelings were innocent admiration or just simple curiosity. He knew it was more than that. Admiration and curiosity didn't cause obsession over trivial things like business cards. They didn't cause the sensation in the pit of his stomach that he felt whenever Eran smiled, nor the racing heartbeat. Additionally, admiration and curiosity were hell not enough to account for Riley's mind flashing images of Eran's collarbone and not enough to turn him on whenever he reflexively fantasized about all the ways he could touch that collarbone. Though Riley tried to stop the perverted thoughts, sometimes he'd be so enraptured that he'd imagine the responses in expression or voice Eran might make.
In the month Riley held onto Eran's card and they never met, Riley—through effort—was starting to forget about his crush. He even made out with a girl from a club one weekend. It felt nice and his mind didn't deviate much at all. But tonight he had had no choice but to call Eran. Once the man appeared in front of him, Riley's eyes burned a mental image again and all of his feelings were awakened.
The more he'd thought about Eran, the worse his guilt became; he'd never liked a guy in all his near 19 years, so why now? But tonight Riley had thrown away any skepticism and doubt, and accepted his fate.
If he had stayed in that parking lot for another minute, Riley was sure he'd have lost control and confessed, or even worse, kissed Eran.
I have to see him again, Riley vowed. But first I need to develop my self-control.