I could follow you to the beginning
And just to relive the start
The next two months went by a breeze. The same routine every day. Eating, classes, reading, sleep. They gradually found out more and more about each other. Harry didn't mind it, neither did Draco. It was calm. Calm was all the two had ever wanted.
Harry awoke at around 3:14 am. His arms were entangled around Draco who was sleeping soundly. Harry's head felt heavy, his eyes felt watery. He barely remembered why he had woken up in the first place. A bad dream probably.
Harry slowly escaped Draco's grip and tip toed into the common room. The collar of his shirt felt as if it was tightening around his neck. Harry unbuttoned the first two buttons on his sleep wear. He ran his hand through his hair.
He couldn't shake the feeling someone was watching him. Harry looked around the common room about three times and saw nothing. He heard Draco shift around in his bed. Harry went into his room and grabbed around under his bed for the invisibility cloak, once he found it he grabbed his marauders map. He also made sure to grab his wand. Then walked back out into the common room.
Harry took a deep breath and slid his shoes on. He grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, he left a note in case Draco woke up, which was unlikely. 'Out for a stroll on the grounds, needed some fresh air' it read.
He tip toed back into Draco's room and left the note on the pillow beside him. Harry took a moment to look down at Draco and admire the way the moonlight peaking out from the side of the curtain hit Draco's porcelain skin. Harry smiled and swiftly left. He walked out of their dorm putting the cloak on and crept around the hallways.
Harry made his way outside through a passage he had found 4 years earlier with the help of his map. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" Harry whispered and the map revealed itself. He smiled and walked on the dewy grass.
He took the cloak off once he was out of sight and inhaled deeply. The fresh air was exactly what he needed, his head had stopped pounding. Harry walked around the grounds, just wandering about.
All was calm until he heard a branch snap behind him. Harry stopped dead in his tracks and halted his breathing. Harry grabbed hold of his wand. He slowly turned around. "Lumos" He mumbled and a light sprouted from the end of his wand. He walked towards the sound he had heard.
Harry looked down to find a branch snapped in half. He hadn't imagined it, someone or something had broken a branch. Harry's heart rate sped up, he tried to rationalize what was happening. Probably just an animal.
Someone tapped on Harry's right shoulder. Harry spun around and stared down at a girl who stared back at him.
"I didn't mean to startle you, I was out for a stroll. I didn't think anyone else would be out here" The girl said sincerely.
"It's alright, my fault I get startled easily. If you don't mind my asking what's your name?" He said while looking down at her emerald green pajamas. A Slytherin.
"Parkinson, Pansy Parkinson" She held her hand out and smiled. "Harry Potter" He grabbed hold of her hand and shook. "I know who you are" She giggled. Harry's eyebrows furrowed. He dropped it, most people knew who he was after all.
"How's Draco?" She looked up at Harry and continued walking. He followed walking side by side with her. "You know him?" Harry said while facing forwards, still holding onto his belongings. "Know him? That twit is my best friend" She giggled again. "Well he's doing fine." Harry smiled.
"Shag yet?" Pansy said with a playfulness in her tone. Harry just about choked on his spit. "Wh- what?" He said frantically. "Calm down Potter I'm joking, I know he would never shag before taking you to dinner first" She smiled.
"Kind of surprising though" She continued.
"What is?" Harry said.
"I'm surprised he'd able to control himself around you" Pansy said shaking her head. "Im flattered?" said Harry, chuckling. "Not like that prat, no offense you're not my cup of tea. Draco on the other hand, let's just say he wouldn't mind taking a sip" She laughed quietly.
Harry's cheeks reddened and he smiled. "What ever is that supposed to mean Parkinson?" Harry chuckled. "Oh nothing, just don't be surprised if you end up in his bed" She smiled. "Oh and if, no no, when you end up in his bed, tell me. I have a bet going" She kicked a small rock that was in her way.
"What? A bet? With who, about what?" Harry scrunched up his nose. "Yes Potter a bet, with a person, about you and Draco" She smiled.
"What person? And what about me and Draco?" He looked down at her. "Oh so it's Draco now? I'm most definitely going to win." She smiled.
"What person?" He said once more. "Let's just say you know her rather well Potter." Pansy smirked and looked down at Harry's hands.
"Mind if we share that cloak, don't really wanna get caught going back in" She said. Harry nodded and got out the cloak, his brain felt sick. What girl? What bet?
He draped it over both of them. "I have a passageway we can go through to go in unnoticed." He said taking her through it. She looked around and smiled. "Harry Potter breaking rules? Sounds like i'm in an alternate universe"
Harry snickered and walked to the Slytherin quarters. "Thanks for the help Potter, maybe you're not as bad as I thought you were. Maybe Draco was right about you" She smiled and whispered the password to her painting and walked in.
Maybe Draco was right about you.
Harry smiled as the sentence replayed in his head. He shook his head and started walking back to his quarters. Harry was looking down at his map when he saw footsteps coming towards him. Before he could read who it was he bumped into someone.
Harry stood there not moving, breathing, or doing anything. He saw a hand reach under the cloak and pull it off. Harry didn't want to see who he was in trouble with. He didn't want to see who had caught him.
"Oh my, you were gone for Merlin knows how long" Harry smiled at the familiar voice and wrapped up his cloak.
"You could get in trouble for being out here you know that right?" Harry asked and continued walking. "I thought something happened git, pardon me for being paranoid. You're known for getting into trouble." Draco said walking next to him. "I just went out for a stroll" Harry shrugged.
"You should've waken me I would've gone with you" Draco said softly yet angrily. "You looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb your beauty sleep" Harry said chuckling.
Draco rolled his eyes. "What were you doing down by the Slytherin dorms?" He looked down at Harry. "Funny story actually. I'll tell you when we're not at risk of getting detention" Harry walked up the stairs and made left and right turns to get to their dorm finally.
Harry mumbled the password and walked in. Draco walked in behind him. "Now care to tell me?" Draco crossed his arms and looked at Harry who was toeing his shoes off.
"Alright calm down dad" Harry chuckled and walked back into Draco's bedroom. He placed his belongings on Draco's bed side table. "I much prefer daddy" Draco smirked and followed Harry.
Harry blushed and sat down. "Alright well, I was out on the grounds walking around minding my business when I run into someone, a girl. I ask her who she is. She says How's draco. I ask her her name. She says Pansy Parkinson" Harry stopped for a breath. Draco sat down as well.
"That little prat" Draco whispered under his breath. "So we walk and talk about some things, she says she has a bet with a girl I know about...well about me and you" Harry chuckled and slid back under the blankets. Draco shook his head chuckling.
"I must have a talk with her tomorrow" He smiled and got into bed as well. "So you do know her?" Harry adjusted his position. "Yes, I've known that twit since 1st year. She's one of my very best friends" Draco yawned.
"Well we can continue to talk tomorrow, I'm sorry for worrying you." Harry smiled. "Don't be sorry, it's not technically your fault" Draco smiled as well and re- wrapped his arms around Harry. "Just wake me next time you need some fresh air alright?" Draco whispered. "Alright" Harry whispered back.
They both fell back to sleep. Comfortable in each other's arms. There was this silent anxiety Harry had, he constantly wondered how long this would last. The nude fragility that captivated Draco. He wondered when Draco would turn on him and build his walls back up.
Harry awoke first the next morning. He had barely gotten any rest. His night was filled with his mind trying to overtake him. Make him do those things he didn't want to.
He rubbed his eyes and stretched. Draco grumbled. Harry smiled and got out of bed. He left his glasses on the bedside table. "Wakey wakey drakey" He said annoyingly. "Call me Drakey ever again and I'll hex you"
Draco chuckled and sat up rubbing his eyes.
Harry went to the bathroom to freshen up. He looked in the mirror, he had dark bags under his eyes. His whole face was pale, well paler than usual. Harry sighed and began to brush his teeth.
"Did you leave this here?" Draco said coming into the bathroom holding an envelope. "Not mine" Harry said and gargled some water. Draco shrugged and set it down, he began to brush his teeth as well. "You gonna open it?"
Harry picked it up and spun it around.
Draco finished brushing his teeth and answered. "Eh sure" He took it from Harry's hands and opened it. Harry waited patiently. "Nosy much?" Draco looked down at him smiling. "Always" Harry waited. Draco opened it up and read through it.
His heart felt heavy, he began feeling nauseous. "Are you alright what does it say?" Harry asked peeking over Draco's hands to see it. Draco folded it up quickly and put it back in the envelope.
"Nothing just a prank or something" Draco said softly. "Oh well alright" Harry didn't move. "Well go get dressed" Draco said with a little edge in his voice. Harry flinched at it slightly and walked out of the bathroom.
Draco closed the door after Harry left and fell to the floor shaking. He opened up the envelope to read the letter again. He slowly started to re read it.
My dearest boy,
You knew I would never stay locked up for long didn't you? I know about your little love affair. You probably thought I wouldn't find out, son you should know by now I know everything. End it with him, before I end him myself. I don't plan on returning to Azkaban anytime soon, they won't know where to find me. Just remember I know exactly where to find you and your little lover boy. I want what's best for you.
With love,
Your Father
Draco felt tears well up in his eyes. He had to end things with Harry in order to keep him alive. Draco knew his father had sources at the school, but he never thought he would escape.
Draco took a few deep breaths and stood up steadily. He opened the bathroom door to find Harry sitting on the couch struggling to get his shoe on. Draco wanted to help him, but he restrained himself.
Harry looked back at him making direct eye contact. Draco looked to the side not wanting to see Harry's eyes. "A little help here?" Harry asked still struggling. Draco shook his head "I must get dressed" He said oddly formal.
Harry sighed and continued fidgeting to put his shoe on. Draco walked off and got dressed. He fixed his tie and his hair. He took a deep breath before leaving his room. "Very dashing" Harry said chuckling. Draco's heart ached and his stomach churned. "Don't be odd Potter" He said trying to sound his most steady and rude.
Harry felt hurt, or embarrassed. "Jeez ok sorry, someones in a mood" He tried to joke. Draco just walked ahead of him out of the portrait. Harry followed him. "It was just a joke what's wrong?" He pulled Draco to the side. Draco refused to make eye contact with him. "Nothings wrong, let go of me" Draco said snagging his arm out of Harry's grip rather harshly.
Harry's mouth was slightly agape and his emotions were all trying to flood him. The flood gates were trying to open. Harry took a deep shaky breath. "Good day Potter" Draco walked away from Harry. Draco wanted to look back and apologize. He didn't. He couldn't have Harry killed.
Harry just stood there and watched him leave. Harry wondered what he had said or done. His mind was spinning, he turned back and walked back into their dorm. Harry was in a state of shock, he plopped down onto the couch. His brain hurt, as did his heart. He felt like a pathetic little school boy with a broken heart. Harry didn't feel like going to class today. He needed to think over what had just happened. He knew Dumbledore would let him skip, he had Dumbledore under his spell somehow.
Harry grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote a letter asking if he could skip today. He sent Hedwig off with it. Harry made his way into his own room. He removed his shoes and robes.
Harry slid into his bed and curled up under the covers. The bed felt unwelcoming and stiff. They had slept in Harry's room only once, the bed didn't have Draco's heavy scent. It didn't have the perfect indentation of their bodies. It felt like a strange far away land, laying in his own bed.
He was stupid enough to let someone get close to him, let himself get close to someone. Harry felt it'd be better to stay out of Draco's way. Let him cool down.
He looked down at his arm. Draco's hand had slapped against Harry's wrist when he pulled it away so roughly. His wrist ached. Harry started to cry, to be weak. The flood gates opened.
Draco walked into the great hall and shot Granger and Weasley a dirty look. He was really trying his hardest to be his old self. It wasn't as easy as it used to be. He sat down at his table and made a plate.
"Well well well if it isn't Draco Malfoy" A voice said from beside him. "Yes hello Pansy" Draco said dryly. "What's the attitude? Not hyped to see your best bud in town?" She pouted and laughed. "Not in the mood" Draco shrugged and ate. "Potter problem?" She smiled.
"No Potter problem. No potter anything." Draco said softly. Trying his best to keep his voice steady. "What?" She looked at him furrowing her eyebrows. "Nothing anymore" he mumbled and looked back at the Gryffindor table expecting to see Harry looking back at him. He didn't. Harry's seat was empty. Draco prayed Harry wasn't doing what he thought.
"Anymore what do you mean?" Pansy pushes on. "nothing Pansy." He replied with his head down. Pansy sighed and looked over at a table behind her and motioned for the door. "Well I hope all gets better good day Draco" She smiled and walked out of the hall.
Draco sighed and poked around at his food. He got up and made his way outside. Once Draco had made it outside he walked over to his spot, his and Harry's spot. Draco set his bag down on the grassy field. He laid his head back against the brick and attempted to calm down. It was difficult lying to Harry, more than it ever had been. Draco knew he had probably done the wrong thing. He always did, always backed down. Such a coward.
Pansy went out into the hall and waited for someone to accompany her. "Finally took you long enough" A voice said approaching her. "What's the deal with Malfoy?" the girl said. "I don't know he said nothings happening anymore and Potter isn't at breakfast" Pansy said. "You really think I didn't notice. He's my best friend" The girl said.
"Im aware of that Hermione" Pansy said smiling. "Right, well thank you for keeping me
updated Pansy" Hermione smiled as well and began to walk in the direction of Harry's dorm. "Oh and I will win the bet" Hermione smiled. "Forgetting something?" Pansy asked. "Oh god Ron" Hermione laughed and walked back into the hall getting Ron. "Thank you" she said as she walked back in. Pansy smiled and walked away to her first class.
Ron and Hermione walked to their dorm. "Somethings wrong I know it" Ron said and followed Hermione. "Malfoy hasn't given us a dirty look since last year" Ron continued. Hermione and Ron finally arrived in front of their dorm. "Here's to hoping they didn't change the password yet." Hermione said and walked up to the painting, whispering the password.
The portrait opened and she smiled. "Morons" She sniggered and walked in. She looked around and slowly walked to Harry's bedroom. Ron followed her. Ron knocked on the door. "Harry it's us, you weren't at breakfast we were worried" He said a little loudly so Harry could hear. They slowly opened the door to find Harry sprawled out on his bed looking up at the ceiling.
"Hello" Harry said softly and sat up. Ron and Hermione sat on opposite sides of him. "What's wrong?" Hermione asked. "Drac- Malfoy was rude for absolutely no reason, he was rough and just...cold" Harry shrugged and played with his thumbs.
"And he's usually not cold?" Ron sniggered and Hermione hit him. "Not recently, he got this letter, he wouldn't let me see it" Harry sighed. "Where's the letter?" Ron asked. "He probably took it with him." Harry wiped his eyes.
"Wouldn't hurt to look would it?" Ron got up. Harry shrugged and got up as well. Hermione got up too. They all walked around Harry's dorm searching for an envelope. Ron made his way into Draco's room and began to search. "Harry?" Ron asked "Yes?" He replied. Hermione was looking in the common room.
"Aren't these your glasses?" Ron emerged from Draco's room holding Harry's glasses. "Oh yes those are my glasses thank you, how silly of me to forget them" Harry took them and put them on. Ron and Hermione both exchanged a look. "Your glasses were in Draco's room?" Hermione asked him.
"Oh..yes they were" Harry stopped for a second but continued looking. He walked into the bathroom and looked around. To his surprise the envelope was just thrown carelessly to the side. "What an idiot" Harry whispered under his breath.
He opened the envelope and began to read. He felt his heart drop and his legs go numb. His mouth ran dry and his head began to pound. His hands were shaking.
Harry just stared down at the words written on the parchment. Draco was just going to back down, not even try and find a way around it. Harry realized he clearly wasn't as important to Draco as he thought he was. Draco's wretched father was probably going to have Harry killed anyway. Harry figured it'd be better if he was just gone. His family wouldn't have to put up with him, all the pain from his uncle, would just disappear.
Harry was frozen with sadness and despair.
Draco opened up the portrait and walked in. "What the bloody hell are you two doing tearing apart my housing?" He said angrily. "It's Harry's housing as well Malfoy" Ron snapped back.
"Where is Potter anyway?" Draco looked at them. "It's Potter now?" Hermione looked at him. "Just answer my question." Draco sat there hoping they wouldn't say the bathroom. He was back in there to grab his envelope and maybe talk to Harry. Draco remembered in his frantic state he had just thrown it about aimlessly.
"Bathroom" Ron continued to look. Draco's heart sunk. Draco sighed and walked over to the bathroom. He hoped Harry wasn't in there but with his luck, he probably was. Draco pushed the door aside. He saw Harry looking small and helpless. Just standing there staring down at the parchment, an envelope in his other hand. Draco's heart fell even further and a lump formed in his throat. "you were just gonna...gonna not tell me, not let me know any of this" Harry said, his voice rising towards the end.
"I- i just- i don't know what to-" Draco couldn't finish speaking he honestly had no real answer. Harry looked up to meet Draco's eyes. Harry eyes were watery. "You weren't going to at least let me know? That your father wants to kill me!" Harry said with an angry watery voice.
"You're so manipulative Draco, you know that?" Harry put his finger on Draco's chest pushing him out of the bathroom. Hermione and Ron took the hint, collected their things and left.
"i just can't believe you!" Harry yelled.
"Harry it's not like that...it's not.." Draco was breathless. "Not like what? Like you were going to just give up and not talk about this with me?! It concerns me too Draco whether you think so or not." Harry continued yelling.
"Every time...every time I try to open up, or let my guard down...something happens. Why in hell did I think Draco bloody Malfoy would be any better. I showed you, i showed you things about myself that no one knows about! You made me feel better ! It was a lie! Because if it wasn't you would've talked to me about this!" Harry was crying, and yelling. He felt so messy. So angry.
"Harry please..it's not like that. I didn't want you to die or be threatened. My father is an awful man..i couldn't tell you...i couldn't put your life in danger. You've been put in danger more times than anyone deserves" Draco said softly. He was trying to keep his cool, keep calm so Harry wouldn't be more distressed than he was now.
Harry cried and sniffled. He felt bad, really bad. "You should've told me! I can handle it! I was face to face with Voldemort! You think I can't handle your father?!" Harry hit Draco's chest. "I've been through more than you can even imagine! You don't know the half of it! So many times, so many times I was used for gross things that made me feel dirty and sick. So many times I was almost dead." Harry cried and laid his head on Draco's chest.
Draco sighed and wrapped his arms around Harry. "you were gonna just leave like everyone else...gonna give up" Harry whimpered. He didn't know how he managed to get so close to Draco so soon. Draco knew he had made the wrong decision, he had always been a coward. A coward, the voice in his head repeated. Now he had disappointed the one person in his life he'd truly ever felt anything for.
"I'm sorry, i'm so sorry" Draco whispered. Harry cried and held onto Draco. He couldn't stay mad at Draco, they were both a little damaged in all fairness.
Draco picked Harry up and took him into his bedroom. His bedroom which was now torn apart, most likely from Granger and Weasley searching for whatever they were searching for. The envelope maybe.
Draco laid down with Harry, he never let go of him. He gripped Harry tightly, letting all of his emotions and feelings transfer to Harry through his touch. Harry finally relaxed and sniffed. He looked up at Draco. He saw Draco's beautiful sadness.
He saw Draco's concern buried deep in the clouds that made his eyes.
"I'm sorry" Draco whispered. " 'M a coward...always have been" Draco said. Harry looked up at him intently. "I'm so sorry, i never meant to hurt you, I thought I was doing the right thing but" Draco faltered. He became very aware of how many emotions were flowing through his body. His head was spinning, he felt flustered.
Harry set his hand on Draco's shoulder, encouraging him to keep talking. Draco took a quick glance down to Harry's hand. "But I was scared, i was scared to tell you i'm an idiot i hurt you and i never intended to, i'm so so sorry Harry, i never meant for anything. I'm so stupid and weak i know i'm a cowar-" Draco was rambling at this point. Nervous once more. Draco hated but loved how sensitive and open he was now.
Draco was cut off by Harry smashing his lips up onto Draco's. Harry's hand moved from Draco's shoulder to the nape of his neck. Draco took a moment to adjust, once he did he quickly had his arms around Harry's waist.
Harry wanted to rid all of Draco's sadness. Draco wasn't weak, Harry needed Draco to know that. Draco held Harry against his chest. He slowly took control, after all Harry was just a bratty little bottom. Draco felt Harry melt into his touch, connect to Draco's body. Harry fell down onto the bed, his head resting on the silky silver pillowcase.
Draco was on him, his arms on either side of Harry's head holding him up. Draco looked down at Harry for a little. Harry stared back at him, had enough of the sweetness. Not that he didn't love it but he wanted a little more of..whatever that was. Harry smirked and pulled Draco's face down to meet his. Draco entangled his hands in Harry's raven hair.
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. Draco kissed Harry slowly, yet roughly. A spark lit in Draco's heart every time their lips would connect. Draco slowly ran his right hand out of Harry's hair and down to his petite waist. Draco untucked Harry's shirt and slowly ran his hand up Harry's shirt. Harry shivered.
Draco licked along the bottom of Harry's baby soft lips, asking for permission to enter. Harry's mouth opened slightly allowing Draco in. Draco's thumb was circling Harry's hip bone softly. Harry was moving around slightly underneath him. Draco steadied him, and kissed out to the corner of Harry's mouth.
Harry laid there breathless and watched Draco's head fall lower with each kiss. Draco looked up at Harry and flipped them around. Harry now straddling Draco. Draco re-connected their lips. Harry kissed him hungrily. Draco kept his hand spread out on Harry's waist line. Harry did something that shocked Draco. Harry began kissing down to Draco's neck.
Draco laid his head back on his headboard, letting his eyes fall shut. Harry sucked down Draco's neck, going fast enough to not leave any marks, just invisible marks of pleasure being left behind. Harry looked up at Draco and reached for the top button of his shirt. Draco nodded and watched Harry begin to pop
open each button. One by one. Slowly, as slow as he could.
Harry never broke eye contact with Draco, not once. Draco watched him whilst biting down on his lower lip the whole time. Harry finished un buttoning and stared at Draco's top less body. Exposed. Completely exposed. Harry smirked and laid his hands down on Draco's faint abs. Draco watched Harry's every move. Harry began sucking on Draco's collarbone, slowly and seductively.
Draco laid his head back on the head board. Harry proceeded to suck on Draco's collarbone. Draco would mumble curse words under his breath. Harry finished sucking two sweet love bites on Draco's collarbone and proceeded to do something even riskier.
Harry kissed down Draco's chest. Draco watched him, Harry was walking a fine line. Harry kissed down Draco's stomach and stopped right where Draco's pant line started.
Draco was watching Harry so intently, so intrigued at how this shy boy could be so daring. Draco bit his lip, slowly feeling himself harden. Harry was looking up at him innocently yet mischievously. Draco felt slightly bad, or guilty. He felt as if he had forced Harry to do this, even though he hadn't. "Harry..." Draco managed a whisper. "You don't have to..you know" Draco mumbled. "I know I don't, i want to." Harry smirked.
"I'm just not sure I'll be very..good at it" Harry said. Draco smiled softly. "I'll lead you through ok?" Draco whispered down to him.
"Are you sure you want to?" Draco asked once more, very nervous Harry would regret it. "I am 100% sure Draco, stop your worrying" Harry continued smirking. "Now, teach me" Harry unzipped Draco's pants and removed them. Draco inhaled sharply when his pants rubbed against his hard on. Harry but his lip and Draco began trying to guide Harry.
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A/N
So should I put how this went in the next chapter, or should I leave it up for mystery. I honestly have no idea. I could go into detail or I could go into more detail in later chapters. Anyways. Hope you're enjoying!