one week later
"So what should we do today, babe? I feel like we've exhausted just about everything under the sun. Jet skiing, snorkeling, hiking, hang gliding, zip lining. I mean you can't really get more adventurous than that," Justin says, plopping down on the bed with a bowl of green grapes in his hand. I took a few without permission and her snarled at me.
Little did he know, I could barely take in a single deep breath without the urge to projectile vomit everywhere but I didn't want to be the one to ruin our vacation, so I choked it down to a mild stomach bug from something I may've ate that went bad or just didn't agree with my stomach. Our vacation was only a few days longer and I couldn't have asked for anything better than the time we had spent together. It gave us a chance to really talk about what the future looked like in our marriage. I hated myself for not being able to come clean about my infidelities and every day that passed by only made me feel even more guilty of not fessing up.
After the masquerade ball ended-sadly Justin and I didn't win the crown for king and queen- we were runner up-he and I made plans to go back to Canada and stay there for a while just to be around family a little while longer before heading back to L.A. Don't get me wrong, L.A. was amazing and being there had its perks and benefits, but nothing beat being in Canada with my parents. It was home.
"I don't know, Justin. I wanna say we should just hang out in bed but I don't want to put a damper on our adventures. Something just feels off with me. I can't put my finger on it, but the way I feel right now, the bed is the only place I want to be."
He smiles and pushes his body closer to me, securing me in his arms before he motioned me to rest my head on his chest. I loved this man with my entire heart.
"The bed it is. We can binge watch anything you want. I may even be down to give you a body massage or a feet rub just to get you feeling a little bit better. I don't mind baby. Vacation isn't all about the activities we do for fun. It's also about the intimacy in the little things. Remembering that you hate the sound of me rubbing my feet together when I get in bed. Letting you hog the blanket and then complain that I'm taking it all. The little things that make me love you are just as important as the things we do," he ended, planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
For a while, we watched reruns of The Office until somehow Justin convinced me into playing video games with him for hours. Needless to say that even though I knew it already, he was the sorest loser I had ever come across. Despite spending the day lounging, the feeling in my body never subsided and the urge to vomit quickly turned into me actually vomiting. Before I could feel it coming on, I warned Justin who rushed me to the bathroom before stepping out and letting me hack up whatever needed to come out and that's when it all clicked. One emotion filled night with a man that happened to not be my husband was reeking its consequences on me.If I had ever felt shame before, now was it. If I had become pregnant by another man, I don't know what I would do.
Justin waited by the door until all was as well as it was going to be and carried me back to the bed, tucking me in tightly.
"Man. That sounded brutal."
"Tell me about it. I'm gonna go sit in the bathroom for a minute. I feel like more is on the way. I have no idea what I ate that could've upset my stomach this much."
He nodded his head and handed me his bottle of water on the night stand. "Do you want me to come in there with you, Moral support I guess?"
"No. I don't want you to see me puking up all of my insides, babe. That would be quite disturbing."
Justin laughs and nods his head before focusing his attention to the tv and back to the game we had both been playing.
While he hadn't been paying attention, I grabbed my toiletry bag and walked back to the bathroom. In the midst of trying to get pregnant, I always had pregnancy tests on me. Call it desperation or whatever, but it came In handy right now and that was the only thing that mattered. I'd taken so many test before that it was almost like muscle memory on how the entire process worked. The only thing that was different was the vomiting. My doctor told me that often times women can have pregnancy symptoms and signs and not be pregnant and for some reason, I prayed that that was what the issue was right now.
Five minutes passed in the span of what felt like hours and once I picked up the test, two pink lines displayed on the screen. I had no idea what to do so I shoved the test in my bag and walked back over to the room. I had to tell him before time could. No more secrets. Our relationship wouldn't be able to handle all the things I had been keeping from him coming out at once.
"Justin?" He was too invested in his current game to even pay me any mind. It didnt bother me though. It gave me a window of opportunity to keep this a secret until I could find out what truly was happening. I knew it still wouldn't change the facts. "Justin?"
"Hey baby, you feel a little better now?" He asks, his eyes still glued on the tv. "You want me to warm you up some tea? Cuddles? Anything?"
"Justin. I'm pregnant. "
It didn't click in his head at first until the silence lingered between us gave the thought enough time to process. He paused the game and turned to look at me. Silence was all around us and honestly, I didn't know what to say after that. Justin's reaction is what I cared about the most and still-nothing.
I walked over to where he was sitting to sit next to him, but before I could sit, he sprung up and walked to the opposite direction of the room. He looked angry. My stomach turned to the point where the stress of this conversation alone was enough to make me vomit. His reaction wasn't what I was expecting. At all.
"You're what?" He questions, pacing the room back and forth with his fingers frantically running through his hair.
What the hell?
"I took a test just now. I mean I wasn't sure but I put two and two together. Vomiting all of a sudden, feeling sick. The pregnancy test came back positive, Justin. Aren't you excited? I didn't except this to be your reaction after all the times we've tried and failed. It's kinda upsetting me."
Again. Silence. I couldn't think of anything to say to him and obviously he had been just as shocked as me, but seeing him this way was only a negative sign.
"Brooke I-," He pauses, walking over to me and taking a seat next to me. "I am happy. Of course I am."
I could always tell when he was lying. Without saying anything else to him, I walked into the living room to be alone. Sad thing is, right now, he was the absolute last person I wanted to be around. I thought about calling my mom and dad to tell them the good news, but this was something too special to say over the phone.
The day progressed and after the announcement I made, Justin and I spoke two words to each other. It felt like we were in a fight and suddenly everything was my fault. There was not a slither of a doubt in my mind that this baby was Justin's. When Jacob and I got together, we used protection and it was only one time. Justin hadn't even known about Jacob and I so just knowing that this was his genuine reaction to the news of our family in the making, hurt more than I could ever describe.
When night fell, the beach lit up with lights from an incoming boat on the water. It was Scooter. Justin walked into the living room-right past me-and opened the door for him to come in.
"Hey. What's going on? What was so urgent that you had to make me drag my ass over here at nine at night? Some of us are older, Justin. We need our rest."
This was the first time Justin had made eye contact with me before motioning Scooter to take a seat. He sighs exaggeratedly and plops down on the sofa as if he didn't have a care in the world. If I could've punched him, I would've done it right now. Asshole.
"Tell him, Brooke," he pauses. "Tell him the good news." He flashes a sarcastic smile and turns his attention to Scooter.
He was an absolute jerk for belittling me the way he had been doing in front of Scooter. For the moment. Tears started to build on the brim of my waterline before I turned to look over at Scooter.
"We're pregnant and obviously Justin doesn't want this baby with me."
Silence again. The both of them glanced back and forth at each other before a snickering laugh fell from Justin's mouth.
"Oh. Wow. Um, congratulations you both."
I couldn't take the hostility anymore so I stood to my feet, ready to walk away from the both of them.
"What? So am I the only one who's wanted a baby all this time? I don't get why you two are acting like this and I don't like it. I want the go home. Now."
"We're over three thousand miles from home," Justin laughs with another sigh. "Tell me the truth Brooklynn. What happened while I was away on tour? Huh? Because I know you're lying to me or keeping something from me and I want to know. Now."
The tears fell almost instantaneously. Wow. Who knew my husband could be such an asshole?
"What the hell, Justin? You know what? You're the absolute worst person I've ever met. I'm leaving."
"You cheated on me, Brooke. You want to know how I know? Huh?" he stops, expecting me to bite. "I had a vasectomy on tour. Yeah. So whosever kid is swimming around in there, doesn't belong to me and that's how I know you cheated."
"You... You had a vasectomy?"
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HEYYYYYYY. So I hope you guys enjoy this update. I tried to get it out before the procrastination hit me. Who are you more upset with? Be honest. anyways, don't forget to vote, comment and share 😁 it makes me feel good about myself. lol.