MADISON
I wake up by the sound of the blender machine going downstairs, not sure how I hear it through this big ass house but still. I walk down the stairs in my white satin pajama set before brushing my teeth. Aaron's lower back is pressed against the enormous island as he waits for the blender to finish. Finn is on the round breakfast table as he plays with one of his dolls.
"Hey Finn." I smile plopping down on the chair next to him. "What you playing?" I ask and I catch Aaron staring at my peripheral.
"This is Mi Mi." He says showing me a red haired girl. "And this is Perdo." He adds shaking a brown haired boy. "Mi mi is mad at Perdo because he gave another woman a," he makes a kiss sound with his lips and then shakes his head astonished at what dear Perdo did.
"And what did Mi Mi do?" I ask continuing with his story.
"Well Mi Mi is reeally mad." He says with bulging eyes. "So she left." He adds softly.
"Why don't you put the dolls away, Finn, so we can have breakfast." Aaron says dropping a strawberry smoothie and toast in front of Aaron.
"Toast? Finn eats toast?" This kid really is more of an adult than me.
"Yes. He eats toast." Aaron replies drily dropping a plate for me and him on the table. I thank him and start eating the integral—yep, integral—toast.
"I don't really like toast." Finn whispers in my ear when Aaron goes to grab a drink.
"Me neither." I whisper with a disgust face.
~~~~~
"Finn." I call out from the kitchen. Aaron left a couple of hours ago to go to work but said he would be arriving earlier to spend time with Finn. That left me and Finn alone, and the nanny and cook. Not sure why you need a cook, but well.
Finn comes running from the living room with one of his dolls in hand. "Why don't you help me with the food. We're doing a picnic in the patio." I say as I hand him the blankets. I grab our drink and the blt sandwiches Lora, the cook, made. Finn's is a plain chicken, cheese and ham sandwich, and don't tell anyone but mines the same.
"You go to kindergarten?" I ask as Finn and I sit opposite each other in the mandala blanket.
"Yes, but only at Mum's." He says smiling as always.
"You love your Mum, don't you?" I smile. He nods repeatedly with a grin. "I love my Mum too." I tell him. "I miss my Mum too." I add nodding. "Do you miss your daddy sometimes?" I ask as Finn takes a big bite out of his sandwich. I chuckle, wiping the excess that fell on his chin.
"I miss my daddy." Finn nods with droopy eyes. "But he doesn't miss me."
"Why not?" I ask with furrowed brows.
He shrugs, throwing his small hands in the air. "He leaves me. On Monday he's going to leave me again. I want to stay with him." He sniffs.
"It's okay Finn, come here." I say going to his side and wrapping my arms around him, patting his head softly. "I have the best idea." I say as Finn pushes back to look at my face. I stroke his hair and say, "You like dolls, right?" He nods. "And making stories." He nods again. "Why don't we make a little show tonight? You and me and the dolls. I'll help you, you create the story and we show your dad. How's that sound?" I say smiling down to him.
"I like it." He giggles.
AARON
I drop my things off once I enter. I go to the living room, thinking Finn would be there with Nora, the nanny. But he isn't. I walk to the kitchen and find Lora cleaning the kitchen counter. "Aaron." She nods. Lora used to be my nanny when I was little, knows me like the back of her hand. She's now too old to take care of Finn so she does what she also does amazingly, cooks.
"Mrs. Parker. She's a lovely lady. Really good with Finn. A special lady, Aaron, be careful." She says softly. Be careful? It should be the other way around. She should be careful of me. I've destroyed enough people in my life to add another, she should be careful.
"They're outside." Lora says with a suspicious look. I sigh and open the sliding door to the backyard. I stop when I see them—Madison hugging Finn by her left side, stroking his hair softly as they giggle and whisper. Madison throws herself backward at something Finn says and I stare at her smile. At the dimples that curve slightly on her chin, at her teeth gleeming in the light and those pink lips opening to laugh loudly.
I don't keep walking, I turn around. I lock myself in my office and stuff my head with emails and papers, until the only thing in my mind is all the work I have to do.
~~~~~
I leave my office hours later, take a shower and change into grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. I walk down the stairs to find the living room empty. I walk outside, doubting they are still there, and find no one. I walk through the first floor, open the bathroom door, the laundry, gym and finally the cinema room.
"Hi Dad." Finn smiles, standing in front of the plasma with his dolls. Madison is standing next to him with a sweet smile on her lips.
"Sit down Aaron." Madison says with a commanding look and I sit on the front row with a confused look on my face.
"What's this abo-"
"Shh." Madison cuts me off and presses a finger to her plump lips. Fuck. Would I like those lips wrapped around me. I shake my thoughts aside and stare at my son as he positions the dolls.
"Ladies and gentlemen. We're gather here to see...how's it call?" Madison bents over and whispers to Finn in his ear. 'The love story of Muli and Alu' I hear Finn whisper in Madison's ear. "The love story of Muli and Alu." She repeats with a serious look. "Let's begin sir." She wink at Finn before sitting in the floor and grabbing a blond doll.
"Muli and Alu love each other." Finn starts with his soft voice. "But Alu don't want to tell Muli." Finn says shaking his head. He grabs the guy dolls and makes him walk towards...Muli. "Hey Muli." He says.
"Hi Alu." Madison says in a fake girly voice. "Want to play?" Muli says.
"Nuhuh." Alu shakes his head...or whole body. "I don't like you."
"But I do." Muli says in a shaky voice.
"You can't like me." Alu says in Finn's fake manly voice.
The story goes on until surprisingly, they don't live happily ever after, but I don't pay much attention. I can't keep my eyes away at the way Finn is smiling. I've never seen him as happy as today. I catch glimpse of Madison as well, her smile and body as she bends over to move the dolls. Saying she's the most gorgeous woman, is an understatement.
We walk out of the cinema room, Finn squeezing my hand and jumping as we walk to the dining table where food is already waiting for us. We eat, Finn talking most of all. He talks about school back in Los Angeles and his friends. Madison smiles all through dinner and after when I tuck Finn in bed.
I walk back down to the living room where Madison is spread on the couch. "Bye. Love you Mum." She says before shutting her cellphone off. "Hi." She smiles up at me.
"Hey." I say sitting down on the sofa at her left. "Thank you for spending time with Finn." I say some time later.
"He's a great kid. Really talkative." She chuckles. I nod, knowing what she's talking about. "He talked about you." She says after some silence.
"What did he say?"
"Said he missed you...But you didn't miss him back." She says the last part softer. My face falls a bit at her words. I miss Finn, I really miss Finn. I think about him everyday, how can he think that? "Said you left him. That you'll leave him on Monday again." She says with pity eyes. I don't need fucking pity.
"He doesn't know what he's saying, he's three." I say a bit too loudly.
"I think he does." She whispers.
"You don't know what the fuck your talking about." I say standing up from the couch. She stands up too and looks at me deeply.
"I know enough." She says with shame in her face. Fucking shame. "You came home and didn't even say hi to him. Spent all day in your office while your son was doing a play for you." She spits out.
"I have work." I shout.
"You have a son." She shouts back.
"I try." I shout throwing my hands in the air.
"Not enough." She whispers this time. And I see it, I see it on her face. How everyone sees me. Like I'm not doing enough, like I'm not enough. I'm doing everything I can to be with my son for this...bitch to come and say I'm not doing enough.
I turn around, huffing as I make my way to my bedroom. She doesn't know what she's talking about. No one fucking does. Only one person would understand this. And she's gone. So I'm alone. As I've always been.