👾
Me:
It's just a little flu that Sarang caught
The doctor said we could go home today
after her fever has dropped
And she is currently sleeping
Kookie 🍪💜:
Thank God 😇
You should rest too...
Me:
I will try my best ☺️
I'll text you when we get home
Kookie 🍪💜:
Okay
Love you ❤️
Me:
Love you even more 😘
Kookie 🍪💜:
That's not even possible...
Luckily it won't be long until I'm home again
When I am back we are going to cuddle
And I'm going to kiss you until you fall asleep 😉
Me:
Really?
Wait...Just kisses? 😳
I smile in front of my phone when I read his message. Those kind of little things mean a lot to me, especially when the one I love is far away from me. It's crazy how I feel like a teenager every time with him, as if I'm writing with my crush for the first time. And I feel my heart beating faster as I wait for his next message, which takes longer than the previous ones.
However, my phone rings to mention a message. Looking at my display, I see that he has sent me a picture and when I open it the familiar feeling of butterflies begins in my stomach and my eyes don't leave his form. His hooded eyes, slightly raised eyebrows and pinkish uneven lips, somehow makes me feel different and I feel the warmth in my body rising. A picture of him was enough to excite me. But trust me that it is quite normal feeling like this, when you are apart from your partner for so long, you can't help but long for him.
Kookie 🍪💜:
Put your hands up, baby 🔫
I'll punish you when I get back
Me:
You can't shoot me 😌
Cause I'll kick you
Kookie 🍪💜:
I'll will enjoy it..
Me:
Knew you were into that stuff 🙄
Kookie 🍪💜:
You can also tie me up, I'll will enjoy it even more..
Me:
Okay, then we can watch Barbie together
Wohooo 🥳
Kookie 🍪💜:
Seriously
The whole atmosphere is broken thanks to you 😒
I can't help but smile, I love to tease him.
❀❀❀
Throwing my arms in the air, I stretch out as a wave of tiredness hits me and a yawn leaves my throat. I take a look at my baby, who is still lying in the small hospital bed and seeing her calmly sleeping form makes me breath in relieve.
I was still tired when I rub my eyes to wake up, but I also knew that I couldn't sleep anymore. With quiet steps I go to the toilet, which is right in the room that was given to us, to freshen me up a little. And I gasp hard when I see my face for the first time today, in the little mirror. I walked out of the apartment so quickly that I hardly knew what I looked like. My eyes were visibly tired as they were framed by dark lines and my hair looked even worse.
But what really shocked me was how thin I have become. Since I started taking the medication my doctor had prescribed I suffered with the time more from anorexia. At the beginning I tried to eat more, even if I couldn't anymore, but realized that didn't help either because after a few minutes I puked everything out again.
My fingers wander over my cheekbones, which are now more visible, before they fall lifeless to the side. And like pushing a button, the headache makes itself felt again. Shaking my head, I try to get rid of the pain when I turn on the tap with trembling hands. I wash my face with cold water three times and it helps me a little.
After I have tied my hair as well as possible, I leave the toilet to sit at the table next to the cot. After drinking a glass of water, my eye falls on the pen and paper which are lying on the table.
Suddenly I feel the urge to write something, to get rid of my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to feel lighter and so I started to write. At the beginning I didn't know exactly how to start and where to start, however I feel the ease that surrounds me after I start writing.
I don't know if it was the atmosphere or the reason that I'm alone here with Sarang, but I decide to write her a letter. A letter about me, her mother.
Maybe it wasn't a bad idea at all. After all, I don't know how long I will stay with her, whether she will still remember me, so she could at least have something from me so that she knows how much I love her and why I am no longer there.
So I wrote all my thoughts, all my feelings, all my beautiful memories, all my fears on the sheet of paper and hoped that my little daughter would understand me someday when she is older. Looking at my daughter, my heart aches crazy and again salty liquids are dropping down from my cheeks on the sheet, leaving a stain there. My body ached with the conscience that I will always be the stain in her heart that will be empty, that will always feel excluded from others and that will always hurt.
It was also the first time that I spoke so openly about my illness and I have to admit it felt good. It was good for me to write down the things I couldn't talk to anyone. I cried, but with the tears that felt I also felt lighter.
„ Mrs.Jeon.. Mrs.Jeon, is everything okay ? " the nurse says, as she lightly shakes my shoulder and thus lets me know of her presence.
„ Oh, I'm so sorry,... I'm fine " I say in hurry, while I wipe my tears away and fold the sheet of paper and put it in my pocket.
„ If something is wrong feel free to tell us, we will try to help you as best we can, " she says in a calm voice and after I nod her thanks, she continues. „ The doctor looked at her values again and everything looks normal again, that also means that you can now go home. "
„ That's great, thank you so much. "
❀❀❀
Today, is the day when my Kookie finally comes back from his tour and I have planned a little surprise for him. We haven't had a nice, quiet time together in a long time, so today I plan to change it. Also, I asked Jungkook's parents if they could take care of Sarang and they accepted it gratefully because they had missed Sarang a lot anyway and would like to spend more time with her.
I had made myself extra chic for him. A red knee-length, tight-fitting dress, which perfectly rounded my body, is what I'm wearing. The dress is very simple at the front, but has a décolleté on the back which is tied with laces. I kept the makeup light and simple because I know that Jungkook doesn't like too much on my face. I finished it with a red lipstick that went perfectly with the dress and only came out more through the light eye make-up. And my freshly dyed hair falls gently over my shoulders as the light waves framed my face, just as I wanted it to be. Smiling, I look in the mirror for the last time before I go into the kitchen. I haven't felt so pretty in a long time.
The table was set up with different favorite dishes from Kookie and the candles that are placed in the whole living room give the room warmth and a romantic atmosphere. Happy with my work, I do the finishing touches, before I hear footsteps in the hallway followed by his voice.
„ Baby, are you at ho—, " I hear his voice, which at the end becomes quieter when he sees me in the living room, waiting for him. „..—me, " he exhales while I watch smiling as he checks me from top to bottom. And I notice how his gaze stays longer on my lips while he bites his own.
His handbag lands on the floor with a tuut as his eyes wander around the room and then stops at me again. His hooded and dark eyes are looking even darker as he gazes into mine and I feel his eyes devouring me.
He didn't say anything, just looked me in the eyes and yet I feel my heart beating faster and the warmth inside me rise. And before I could blink, he was already in front of me and pulled me into a hug, where I melted into it. Our bodies fit together perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle and the feeling of desire grows in me as I push myself closer into him, snuggling my face into his chest. Showing him how much I missed him.
„ Is that all for me ? " he mumble into my hair.
I hummed in response, while we just stayed that way. Neither one wanting to let go, but knowing he is hungry and surely tired from flying, I start to let go and pull away.
He growls in displeasure, but grabs my wrist before I can move further away from him. I look up at his face and see how his eyes dazzles with mischief as he leaned in closer.
„Where are you going baby ... I told you I would punish you when I got back, didn't I ?. "
„ B-but you must be hungry, " I say while I suddenly feel very nervous under his intimate gaze.
„ I am, but let me have my desert first, " he whispers and his voice sounded two octaves deeper, as I see him staring at my lips.
Still, I feel my heart race, as he brushes his lips against mine, teasing me and now it is my turn to growl unpleasantly about it. I feel him smile against my lips which only annoyed me more so I took the next step and crash my lips into his. His lips are soft and warm, and I close my eyes as he deepened the kiss. Jungkook's hands move to my waist and mine pull the bucket hat, which sits on his head, down with one pull to dig my hands into his soft hair immediately afterwards. Hearing his voice moaning after that, made me get more excited.
His lips are against my skin, covering it with soft but sensual kisses, while my entire body shivers. I close my eyes and throw my head back to make more space for him, while I enjoy the feeling of his lips. My breathing turns heavier, the cills covering my skin from everywhere as his hands moves from my waist, under my dress.
A little whimper slips out of my mouth, as the pleasure is driving me insane and I'm losing control. I feel my knees getting weak and it looks like he also notices, because next he grabs me firmly by my thighs to make it clear to me that I should jump and I am sure that his fingertips will remain on my skin. Just as he wants, I hop and wrap my legs around his torso. Feeling how his muscles tighten around me, I unintentionally moan his name.
But he abruptly stops and when I lift my head to look him in the eyes I meet his sharp ones. My eyes wander around his entire face and his slightly raised eyebrows, his dark dangerous eyes, which are looking down at me, his birthmarks that made him unique and finally his now red swollen lips made me crazy and I want more. Immediately !
So I couldn't stop myself when I kissed his lips hard again. I sucked on his lower lip as he whimpered in pleasure and he carries me quickly to our room. He lays me on the bed, the kiss not breaking once, as he press my body against the bed.
And the clothes were abandoned quickly to different corners of the room as we got lost in each other.