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[[Y/N POV]]
So, I'm sure you all want to know where we are, what is happening, the current status of the plot, yada yada. I, Y/N L/N the bestest student of the best girl Saitama will be your narrator for this bit as you can probably see from the bold text up there.
Ahem, me and the squad which mostly consists of me, Saitama-sensei and the coolest demon cyborg Genos have decided to go out and grab something to eat. That something being some very cheap but very tasty udon near our apartment complex when a Dragon-level Threat suddenly appeared just outside the damned building! At least we didn't have to pay for the udon cause everyone ran away. Saitama-sensei was already clad in his, poorly designed but don't tell him that, hero suit and Genos was always dressed like a teenager that just entered his early 20s, which means he was cool as hell. I, for one, was dressed in my "hero suit" as well, which was a blue suit, which money for I got from my own pocket, thanks for nothing sensei. And no, I don't wear an eyepatch, at least not yet.
Why do I of all people wear a suit? A blue one especially? Well, first of all, blue is an awesome colour, and second of all, I don't have to have a bunch of different outfits since a suit can be used for almost any occasion. Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes, Dragon-level Threat. Turns out it was some sort of a shaman wielding a crappy ol' staff made out of animal bones. Oh, and he could launch lightning bolts and create literal raptures in space-time, annoying little bitch. I, being the smart guy, went to punch him in the face. Turns out that wasn't a good idea and my subsequently British ass was dragged into a portal and sent to god knows where.
And that is basically what has transpired up until this point. Very cool, I know. Why did I just went ahead and tried to punch the guy? He's the bad guy, we punch bad guys. I literally get paid to do that. Either way, that is the past, now, onto the present.
[[3rd POV]]
Y/N: "This sure doesn't look like hell to me..."
The main protagonist of this gag book stood in what appeared to be a lush green forest in the middle of nowhere. The grass that was formerly supposed to be under him has been reduced to smouldering ash thanks to his sudden appearance in what he assumed to be a random forest. It most certainly didn't look like hell the evil shaman promised...
Y/N: "Hello~?"
Y/N tried calling out to someone, but nobody came. Shrugging his shoulders he picked a random direction and started walking that way. Two hours later, and he was still surrounded by trees and lush green sights. No civilization in sight.
Y/N: "...I love taking walks, but now probably isn't the time."
And with that said, Y/N knelt down before suddenly bursting into the skies at tremendous speed, breaking the sonic barrier a couple of times and flying past the clouds. He squinted, trying to look for any signs of civilization and let out a sigh of relief when he saw a relatively small city in the direction he was walking in.
Y/N: "Oh look, people, yay-ACK!"
Y/N got hit by a goddamn bird that thought it would be a good idea to fly into Y/N's open mouth when he was talking. He quickly spits it out as his body started to continuously pick up speed as it fell towards the ground, however, he didn't seem to really give a shit evident by his deadpan expression.
Y/N: "Fucking birds... IF I SEE YOU AGAIN I'LL ROAST YOU, YOU GODDAMN FLYING CHICKEN!"
Y/N's fondness towards birds: -1. Before he could curse more at the bird currently flying away from him his body hit the cold hard ground and left a sizeable imprint on it, but he couldn't even be bothered to look before he sprinted towards the small city he spotted.
Y/N: "I hope this isn't Brazil or something..."
Y/N soon arrived at his destination, which was a rather medieval-looking city with... docks?! How the fuck did he not notice the vast sea when he was in the air? Oh, right, stupid birds, it totally wasn't Author-kun's mistake to mention it before! Y/N silently strolled through the city, taking in the lack of proper pavement and the ancient architecture of the buildings. It was like he was in one of those fantasy MMORPG games.
Y/N: 'That fucker actually managed to send me either to some national city museum, or I am in another world. If this is another world then there better be some form of the internet!'
Y/N soon came across a peculiar shop which had its front window broken and the door was laying on the ground. When he looked inside the shop he saw a group of men hoarding the items while two of them were trying to traumatize the owner with swords.
Y/N: "It's hero time."
Cracking his knuckles he walks over the broken-down door and grabs an unsuspecting thug by his shoulder before violently throwing him out of the store, his body colliding with the opposite building leaving a sizeable imprint on it. The others immediately notice the new arrival of Y/N and one of their own men already down on the street outside.
Thug 1: "You bastard, I'll skin you alive!"
Y/N: "Good afternoon, gentlemen. May I interest you in a very special product?"
Thug 1: "What the hell are-?!"
But the thug didn't even get to finish his sentence as his head brutally collided with the wooden ceiling, with his upper body now in the ceiling and his lower body limply hanging in the air. Y/N turned to the rest of the wannabe robber squad and gave them a very unnerving smile.
Y/N: "The product is called 'pain' and can be applied to any part of your body. Allow me to demonstrate."
He then vanished in a burst of speed and appeared directly behind one of the thugs close to the owner of the shop before kicking him the spine. The thug let out a pained cry after a very audible pop sound made by his now broken back. Y/N then grabbed the same thug by his hair and smashed his head against the wall, knocking him unconscious. One of the thugs charged at Y/N and slashed at him with a sword which shattered upon impact with Y/N's suit, shocking everyone present. The rest of the thugs began backing off.
Y/N: "What's wrong? Trying to run already? But I haven't even warmed up yet."
Y/N then quickly broke the leg of the thug that tried to slash him with a sword and knocked him unconscious with a jab to the jaw. The rest of the thugs tried to run, but all were met with powerful punches to their abdomens and jaws, knocking them unconscious in an instant.
Y/N: "Now then..."
Y/N's unnerving smile fell as he looked back at the cowering shopkeeper before he started picking up the thugs and carelessly throwing them out of the broken down shop. He then walked towards the shopkeeper who was STILL on the ground curled into a ball.
Y/N: "Hey now, you okay there old man?"
Shopkeeper: "P-Peachy..."
Y/N: "Sigh, come on, get up."
Y/N then helps the old man stand up who appeared to be quite shaken up by the attempted robbery. The old shopkeeper finally stops quaking after a while and gives Y/N the most thankful look he could muster.
Shopkeeper: "Thanks a bunch, laddie."
Y/N: "Right."
Y/N ponders for a moment, and while it didn't sit right with him to do something like this, ask a shaken-up old man for a job after he was almost robbed of not just items but also his life Y/N still needed some form of information on where he was, and a job too since Yen probably wasn't going to be accepted in other shops.
Y/N: "Hey, old man, you are the owner of this shop, right?"
Shopkeeper: "Yes, that is true."
Y/N: "Would you mind employing me here for a while?"
Shopkeeper: "What?! Of course not! But, aren't you a wizard?"
Y/N: "Not necessarily. Either way, can you employ me here for a while?"
Shopkeeper: "Of course, I don't know If I will be able to pay you the first couple of weeks though..."
Y/N: "Fine by me. Right now all I need are some basic books."
Shopkeeper: "Then feel free to help yourself to some, just tell me which."
Y/N: "Alright then."
And with that, the old shopkeeper went to call the knights, which Y/N guessed were some sort of police force in this world while he himself helped clean the shop of glass shrapnel and get a new door installed. The new front window will have to be bought tomorrow though...
[[Y/N POV]]
Status update. Got me a job in another world as a security guard and a cashier. Pay is average from what I can tell, got a few basic books on law, environment and the Kingdom of Fiore, which is where I am I guess. The town is actually called Hargeon and the shop I work at is one of the very few magic shops in the city. Yup, magic shop. Apparently, this really is like a fantasy MMORPG, I just don't have the overpowered Gamer ability which somehow always manages to be bullshit. Sung Jin-Woo is cool though.
[[TO BE CONTINUED...]]
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Braggski: So, did you enjoy the first chapter? This book will mostly be a parody/gag reel but there will be serious moments sprinkled in. Also, Y/N is weaker than Saitama because he wanted to keep his hair and didn't train as hard. He is also a lot better at restraining his power because of this. Don't expect constant updates, but expect some spicy scenes ahead and a few crossover characters as well!